Are you really, really old? Or maybe you’re really, really, really old? Dust yourself off, prop yourself up, and answer these questions quickly. You might die soon. You know the drill! For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points, and post your total in the comments section.
1. Did you see Star Wars in the theater in 1977?
2. Did you ever fight Hitler?
3. Were you there when Washington crossed the Delaware?
4. Do you remember when Pong was cutting edge?
5. Have you ever ridden a High Wheel Bicycle?
6. Have you ever owned a slave?
7. Have you ever played lawn darts?
8. Have you ever started a car with a hand crank?
9. Have you ever seen a test pattern on TV?
10. Did you ever have sex before “safe sex”?
11. Do you yell at war movies, “That’s not how it happened!!” …which you know, because you were there?
12. Have you ever given makeup tips to Cleopatra?
13. Are you hoarding state quarters and 2 dollar bills, but you don’t know why?
14. Have you ever purchased something from a TV home shopping show?
15. Have you ever ridden on the back of a brontosaurus?
16. Would you be reallllly rich right now if your mom hadn’t thrown away all your comic books?
17. Have you ever seen The Beatles perform live?
18. Have you ever pledged allegiance to a flag with less than 50 stars?
19. Did you ever own a car phone?
20. Did you ever own a giant mobile phone?
21. Do you remember computers without mouses?
22. Do you remember computers with punch cards?
23. Did you ever walk from Asia to North American?
24. Has a page of a Sears Roebuck catalog ever cleaned your bum?
25. Do you have gray pubes?
OMG you’re ancient! Now shove your saggy parts out of the way and tell us your score.