Tag Archives: Video Games

Have You Ever… While Peeing?!

Let’s face it. YOU LOVED MY POST ABOUT PEEING! Everyone did. It’s the talk of the town. Two people even gave it 5 stars. That’s the most starts that anyone can give a post!  Yay!  (Both people were me.) And let it never be said that I don’t give the people what they want. You love pee? I WILL GIVE YOU PEE! Just sit back and enjoy the pee. I’ll give you so much pee… SO MUCH!  I will pee all over you!

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have you ever …

1. Have you ever missed the toilet while peeing?
2. Have you ever remained standing while peeing?
3. Have you ever read a book or magazine while peeing?
4. Have you ever answered a phone call while peeing?
5. Have you ever read a text message while peeing?
6. Have you ever sent a text message while peeing?
7. Have you ever splashed urine or toilet water onto yourself while peeing?
8. Have you ever showered while peeing?
9. Have you ever slept while peeing? (Oh no! You wet the bed! Mom and Dad will be so angry even though you’re just developing slowly and it’s not your fault!!!!)
10. Have you ever trimmed your pubes while peeing?
11. Have you ever cried while peeing?
12. Have you ever pooped while peeing?
13. Have you ever consumed food or beverage while peeing?
14. Have you ever vomited while peeing?
15. Have you ever crossed your stream with someone else’s while peeing?
16. Have you ever had a conversation with someone while peeing?
17. Have you ever peeked at someone else’s private parts while peeing?
18. Have you ever experienced pain or discomfort while peeing?
19. Have you ever contemplated murder while peeing?
20. Have you ever been inside a moving vehicle while peeing?
21. Have you ever let your pants fall to the ground while standing in front of a urinal in a public restroom while peeing? (Yes this seems to happen quite often for some reason.)
22. Have you ever contemplated your political party affiliation while peeing?
23. Have you ever proposed marriage (or a civil union) while peeing?
24. Have you ever admired Polt’s ass while peeing?
25. Have you ever thought about Justin and his honey Allen while peeing?

Go take a piss, shake it off or wipe (whichever applies), zip up, wash your hands, come back to the computer, and then tell us your total in the comments!


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Those Were The Good Old Days…

Every day when I was young (and wasn’t at school) we’d eat lunch at 11am.

We’d watch The Price Is Right.

It was glorious!  But then at 12:30, my mother would force my brother and I to go outside and play!

We’d bitch and complain.  Sometimes we’d cry.  Being outside was awful!  There were no television outside!
No video games! But my mother would ignore us.  Cuz it was time for “her show” (Days of our Lives).

Once we were resigned to the fact that we’d be stuck outside until 2:00,
we would do a variety of things to pass the time.

Sometimes we’d hang out in my tree house.  Please note that my tree house was way crappier than this one.

Sometimes we’d play in the stream behind our house.

Sometimes we’d ride big wheels down hill in our backyard and try to avoid all the trees.

Sometimes we’d build forts in the woods.

Sometime we’d beat each other with sticks until one of us cried,
and then spend the rest of the time begging the crier not to tattle.

Sometimes we’d shoot arrows straight up into the air and run away
as fast as we could before it fell back to Earth and stabbed one of us to death.

But most of the time, we’d just get filthy and wet.  Then at 2:00, my mom would yell at us and make us
take baths before we resumed our indoor afternoon of television and video games.

Awww those were the good old days.  Then I got old and everything went to shit.

Tell me one of your childhood memories in the comments!

C&R Fight Club: THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES vs. JOHN!


Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club!  The rules to the game are simple.  Each week we’ll introduce our fighters.  We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses.  Then we’ll put the results to vote.  You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…


THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

Members: Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello
First Comic Book Appearance:
May 1984
Place of Birth: McMahon’s Pet Emporium, Chesabeake Bay
Residence: the New York City
Type of Residence: Sewer Hideout
Relationship Status: single
Regional Accent: New York Reptilian
Occupation: Crime Fighters
Height & Weights: Ranging from 5′-5’2“, 145-155lbs
Mentor:
Master Splinter
Favorite Ninja Weapon: Katana Blades, Sai, Nunchukus, Bo
Catch Phrase: “Cowabunga!”
Favorite Food: Pizza
Hobbies:
Skateboarding, Video Games, Hanging out with April O’Neil
Favorite curse word: None

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are a team of four teenage anthropomorphic turtles, who were trained by their rat sensei, Master Splinter in the art of ninjutsu.  From their home in the storm sewers of New York City, Leonardo (the leader), Michelangelo (the funny one), Donatello (the smart one) and Raphael (the other one), battle petty criminals, evil megalomaniacs, and alien invaders, all while remaining isolated from society at large. The Turtles have appeared in comic books, cartoons, video games, and feature films.  Along with their signature weapons, these heroes in a half-shell will harness the power of teamwork, honesty, morality, humor, pizza gluttony, ‘Turtle Power’, radioactive ooze, and an ear-worm theme song to defeat their Leporidae opponent.


JOHN

Also known as: J.P, Trick, Small Mammal
Alias: Rabbit of Caerbannog
Date of Birth:10/8
Place of Birth: Providence, RI
Residence: Johnston, RI
Type of Residence: A hutch
Relationship Status: Available
Occupation: HR, Operations Specialist, Adorable Bunny
Height & Weight: 9″, 4.5lbs
Mentor: El-ahrairah
Favorite Ninja Weapon: Katana
Catch Phrase: “I’ll cut a bitch.”
Favorite Food: Basil, Carrots, Cilantro
Hobbies: Hopping, Jumping, Jujitsu
Secret Weapons: Agility, Iron Teeth, Garrote, rope dart, meteor hammer
Favorite curse word: Fuck

The exact origins of everyone’s favorite bunny, John, are unclear, but it is believed that he he was birthed as part of large litter by very fertile parents.  John hails from the tiny state of Rhode Island, where he enjoys spending time in gardens and feeding on his own feces.  (It’s true: Rabbits often reingest their own droppings to digest their food further and extract sufficient nutrients.)  John’s other hobbies include delivering eggs on Easter, paper crafts, being kind to everyone, and wiggling his cute little fluffy bunny tail.  John’s secret weapons include: speed, agility, iron teeth, garrote, rope dart, meteor hammer, a rapid reproductive rate and a razor-sharp wit.


Who will win in the battle of Turtles vs. The Hare?  Will the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hurl a canister of radioactive ooze at John … and turn him into a real man?  Or will John defeat the mutant team with his speed, agility and strong hind legs?  We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.

Check back on Sunday for the results!

Thanks to John & Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!

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