Tag Archives: superior

It’s Taste Test Time!

There are certain brands that I always buy or order because I think that they are superior. But am I just being blindly loyal or do I really think they are the best? The only way to know is to compare them with their competitors in a blind taste test. *Harry and I did not taste anything in the same order.

We started with the chocolate (milk chocolate). I was looking forward to this the most, but I have to say, it was too much of a good thing. They all tasted fairly similar, and none really stood out in a good (or bad) way.

Godiva
Harry: not as creamy as the others
Michelle: creamy, sweet and chocolatey tasting, but in a generic way. My second favorite.

See’s
Harry: had a nutty taste (like hazelnuts or walnuts), kinda weird
Michelle: Reminds me of walnuts, has a hint of cocoa

Ghiradelli
Harry: he thought this tasted the same as the Trader Joe’s chocolate
Michelle: Has a really sweet aftertaste, too sweet. My least favorite

Trader Joe’s
Harry: same as the Ghiradelli
Michelle: has a little bit of saltiness, a chocolate aftertaste, very sweet

Hershey
Harry: not as milky as the others, but is more chocolatey
Michelle: This is Hershey’s, maybe my favorite, has a very subtle grittiness

Cadbury
Harry: Tastes less sweet than the others
Michelle: Mellow, very sweet, tastes like a chocolate Easter bunny, has a hazelnut aftertaste

Lindt
Harry: Has a caramel taste. Not my favorite.
Michelle: Creamy and sweet, very melty in the mouth

Dove
Harry: Less milky and more chocolatey, just chocolate
Michelle: I like the texture, a little sweet, maybe the most chocolatey

And the winners?

Harry – couldn’t pick one. They all tasted alike to him.

Michelle – Hershey’s. I could identify it right off the bat (so did Harry). I’m surprised one of the higher end bars didn’t come in first.


Next up were the cheesy poofs. I know, I don’t like cheese, but it’s okay on popcorn or a poof.
I think it’s a texture thing.

Cheetos
Harry: Cheesy. Poofy. Salty. This is my favorite.
Michelle: Cheesy all the way through.

Trader Joe’s (reduced fat)
Harry: Has a mild cheesy taste
Michelle: Has a milky taste, really sticks in your teeth

Little Bear
Harry: Most bland of all. It’s like a puff of air.
Michelle: No cheese taste at all. It tastes like a corn puff.

Safeway
Harry: Saltiness upfront, Some cheesy taste. My 2nd favorite.
Michelle: Has an upfront cheesy taste, You can taste the corn, is salty, probably my favorite

Smart Puff
Harry: Almost no cheese taste, has a hint of pepper
Michelle: Is very light, dissolves quickly into nothing, has a slight hint of cheese

Which was the best?

Michelle – I picked the Safeway brand

Harry picked the Cheetos brand. And though the Smart puffs didn’t taste very cheesy at all, we liked those to snack on.


We saved the “champagne” for last (we know it’s really sparkling wine, but we haven’t won the lottery to splurge on 5 bottles of the real stuff. So just play along). We’re also not “champagne” people (and especially not Brut – but it was only kind I could find enough varieties of). This may explain the following results.

Woodbridge
Harry: Thought this and the Chandon tasted the same.
Michelle: Bitter, very bitter. I don’t like it.

Chandon
Harry: See above
Michelle: It’s bitter and sour, middle of the road. I don’t like it.

Korbel
Harry: Thought it was similar to the Woodbridge and Chandon, but a little mellower.
Michelle: It’s bitter and has a sour taste. It’s my 2nd least favorite. I don’t like it.

Tott’s
Harry: Has a fruity taste, It’s the most mellow of them all.
Michelle: It’s bitter, but has a fruity taste up front. I don’t like it, but it’s the best of the bunch.

Cook’s (Harry had a devil of a time getting the damn cork out of this one)
Harry: Has a skunky smell. And a skunky taste. It’s my least favorite.
Michelle: Is bitter. Has a weird taste, Ew. I don’t like it. It’s my least favorite.

And the winners?

Harry – The Tott’s.

Michelle – They were all gross, but if I had to pick the least disgusting, it would be the Tott’s.

Do you have any ideas of how to make our leftover “champagne” more drinkable? Let us know in the comments and join us next time in the test kitchen as we taste the letter “T”!

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It’s Taste Test Time!

There are certain brands that I always buy or order because I think that they are superior. But am I just being blindly loyal or do I really think they are the best? The only way to know is to compare them with their competitors in a blind taste test. So join Harry and me as we separate the best from the rest.

First up were pretzels. Which aren’t as good as chips. But they’re healthier – so there’s that, I guess.

Here is what we thought.

Snyders
Michelle – Okay. Tastes like your standard pretzel.
Harry – Salty, good taste. Thin and crispy.

Glutino (gluten free. Remember when I was doing that? Yeah, that didn’t last long).
Michelle – Not bad for a fake pretzel. Will do in a pinch. Obviously Glutino.
Harry – EW! That should not be called a pretzel. Has a chlorine taste. EW!

Rold Gold
Michelle – Salty, very crunchy. Crispier and saltier than the others.
Harry – Tastes darker, more caramelized, maybe cooked longer. Okay.

Safeway Brand
Michelle – Good salt taste, good. Tastes a little burnt.
Harry – Thicker, more doughy. Like a soft pretzel. Salty.

So the winners were:

Michelle – Rold Gold

Harry – Safeway brand

And the loser was:
The little pretzel that couldn’t – Glutino.


Next up was peanut butter. The inspiration for the taste tests in the first place. I always get JIF because choosy moms choose JIF (so what if I’m not a mom). But am I just a slave to advertisers or do I actually like JIF? Hmm…

*I wanted to include Peter Pan, but like Schweddy Balls ice cream, I couldn’t find it anywhere.

Skippy
Michelle – The sweetest. Has a nice peanut finish. Reminds me of peanut butter cookies.
Harry – Mellow. Not a lot of taste.

Organic brand
Michelle – Sticky, not too sweet. Peanutty.
Harry – Has a nice peanut taste. A little over-roasted. Has a slight bitterness. Sticky. Reminds me of peanut shells.

JIF
Michelle – Starts sweet. Peanutty and creamy. Very thick and salty.
Harry – Mellow. Not a lot of taste. (Harry couldn’t tell the difference between JIF and Skippy).

Laura Scudders
Michelle – Super sticky. Has the most peanut taste. Kind of bland. All I can taste is the peanut oil. Has a bitter aftertaste. Needs something (salt and sugar).
Harry – Stronger peanut taste. More bitterness going on.

And the winners were:

Michelle – JIF! Yay! I’ve been buying the right peanut butter all along.

Harry – Organic brand

The loser was:
Laura Scudders. Also, it was very gloopy. It was one of those peanut butters that you had to mix, but stirring didn’t make it any less oily. Gross.


Last up was pasta. Penne pasta in particular.

*Usually we eat whole wheat pasta, but I was too lazy to drive all over looking for four brands.

Eh. We tried, but they all tasted exactly the same. A couple of them were thicker and more ridgey (that’s what she said).


So if you’re in the area, stop by for some bland pasta, peanut butter and pretzels. And make sure to join us in the test kitchen next time as we taste the letter C(h)!

GUEST POST: Craig’s Friday Five!

Hey everybody! Craig from Puntabulous here! LOL, remember when I used to blog? Anyway, I’m here to bring an end to the week of awesomeness Craig that’s been going on here at Cocky & Rude this week. So I’m here to bring you my very own Friday Five!

1. My Birthday. Being thirty is awesome! Never mind the fact that I was supposed to be a published author, married, and with children by now! Look how much better than that I am! I stopped blogging, I can’t remember the last time I went on a real date, and I hate kids! Perfect! And when it’s your birthday, your friends write about you on their vastly superior updated blogs and people who put you into headlocks in junior high now wish you happy birthday cause you’re friends on Facebook now even though you still hate them! Yay!

2. Presents. Yeah, this should be rolled into the first item, but STFU. STOP. I haven’t blogged in a while and I’m still trying to get back in my groove. STOP. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m typing on. STOP. This one of those telegrams all the kids are talking about these days, right? STOP. Anyway, besides the requisite Tanqueray and Amazon gift cards, I also got this retro game emulator which is amazing! STOP. I don’t know how my parents knew I would love such a thing! STOP. Aren’t they awesome? STOP. (I ordered it for them with their credit card.) STOP. NO REALLY, STOP. THE STOP JOKE GOT LAME EIGHT STOPS AGO.

3. Television. What, you thought since I don’t blog about TV you don’t care about on my blog means I can’t blog about TV you don’t care about on other people’s blogs?! Think again! I’m still all about television. This years new shows of amazingness are Revenge and Once Upon a Time. Revenge is just so deliciously soapy and OMG there was gay sex last week, I love it! And Once Upon a Time is so sweet and cheesy it reminds me of Merlin starring Sam Neill which I love with all my heart. Ringer sucks, but I’m still watching it, and Glee is (mostly) good this season!

4. The Christmas Season is here! Fuck every single one of you who complains about seeing Christmas decorations in stores. This is the best part of the fucking year. First there is Halloween, then my birthday, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas! It’s like 3 months of complete awesomeness! So why not celebrate said awesomeness with an electric keyboard and clarinet version of All I Want for Christmas is You while strolling through your local mall, all decked out in fake snow?

5. Cocky & Rude. A whole week dedicated to yours truly?! Where the fuck else are you going to see such awesomeness? Brought to your face by the minds of Michelle M. and Adam! And let’s face it, even if you exclude this week of Craig, Cocky & Rude is prety damn fun every single frakking day. Also, Adam gives the best dating advice on the face of the planet. When I told him about the possibility of an upcoming date he gave these words of wisdom: “Make sure you fuck him!” and “Just get in there. You’re old now! The clock’s ticking! Fuck him on the first date!” Isn’t he romantic?

Runners Up: Peach cobbler, having my own mantle to put birthday cards on, Mikey and Ty’s public adoration of each other from continents away, & hardcore gay pornography.


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Have You Ever … With Craig?!

Craig is known round the world for his humor, puns, height, dim-wittiness and superior [tiny] cocksmanship.  And as everyone’s second favorite blogger celebrates his birthday this week, we at C&R ask you this simple question: Have You Ever… With Craig?!  Let’s find out.

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

1. Have you ever spoken on the telephone with Craig?
2. Have you ever instant messaged with Craig?
3. Have you ever Skyped (or video chatted) with Craig?
4. Have you ever text messaged with Craig?
5. Have you ever been bored with Craig?
6. Have you ever laughed with Craig?
7. Have you ever cried with Craig?
8. Have you ever been annoyed with Craig?
9. Have you ever argued with Craig?
10. Have you ever hung out with Craig?
11. Have you ever partied with Craig
12. Have you ever danced with Craig?
13. Have you ever performed karaoke with Craig?
14. Have you ever locked eyes with Craig?
15. Have you ever driven in a car with Craig?
16. Have you ever been topless with Craig?
17. Have you ever swam with Craig?
18. Have you ever compared shoulder hair with Craig?
19. Have you ever been intoxicated with Craig?
20. Have you ever traded nude photos with Craig?
21. Have you ever masturbated on a webcam with Craig?
22. Have you ever been naked with Craig?
23. Have you ever had sex with Craig?
24. Have you ever had a penis “sword fight” with Craig?
25. Have you ever committed murder with Craig?

Well?! Have you? Tell us your total in the comments!


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It’s Taste Test Time!

There are certain brands that I always buy or order because I think that they are superior. But am I just being blindly loyal or do I really think they are the best? The only way to know is to compare them with their competitors in a blind taste test. So Harry and I decided to do just that.

We started with citrus sodas.

We tested them blindfolded to get the full soda experience.


Here is what we thought:


7up:

Michelle– it was okay – it was more limey/citrusy than the others
Harry – very sweet with a lemon/limey taste

SunDrop:
Michelle– did not like at all – it had a chemical, artificial taste
Harry – had more of an upfront sugary taste

Mello Yello:
Michelle – supersweet and articial
Harry – too sugary – not happy with that one

Sierra Mist:

Michelle – has a weird aftertaste – not very citrusy
Harry – good – lemon-limey

Sprite:
Michelle – okay, I guess
Harry – sugary – not very good

So the winner was:

Michelle – Sprite

Harry – Sierra Mist

And the loser was:
Mello Yello. We both hated it.

Next up was soup – chicken noodle.

Except for the Organic brand, they all kinda looked the same.
Some definitely had bigger chunks of chicken and carrots.

Here is what we thought:

Wolfgang Puck:
Michelle – had a weird herby taste? Maybe fennel. I hate fennel.
Harry – some saltiness, decent flavors, good

Progresso:

Michelle – had a canned taste and a sweetness – like caramelized onions
Harry – had a bright taste

Healthy Choice:

Michelle – watery, no flavor, tasteless, needs LOTS of salt
Harry – a sharp, burnt taste, tastes like catfood, canned tuna, weird, blech

Campbell’s:

Michelle – had a weird taste – like dirt. It’s the worst!!
Harry – had a sharp, herb taste, pungent. It’s better than catfood.

Organic:
Michelle – alright. The chicken was dry
Harry – the chicken was big, not as salty. The flavors come through.

And the winner was:

Soup in a box! We both chose the Organic brand

*Of course, the best chicken soup is my own not in the running homemade
(even when I forget to add in the celery).


The loser was:

Michelle – Campbell’s. The next day we got this coupon in the mail.
Maybe I should ask for a a refund…

Harry – Healthy Choice.

Which cracked me up because he bought a case of it at Costco.

We didn’t want to confuse out palates, so we saved salsa for last.
As you can see, Chachies is the brand we usually buy.

So how did our favorite measure up?

Rojo’s:
Michelle – good heat, too vinegary. I would not buy this.
Harry – was the spiciest heatwise – had strange tastes

Margaritaville:
Michelle – had a strong cilantro flavor. Not much heat. Was mushy in texture (except for some crunchy onion bits)
Harry – not too much tomato taste. Had more of a vinegar pickle relish taste

Chachies:
Michelle – tomatoey, nice heat. I like it.
Harry – Lots of tomato flavor. Not as hot as some of the others.

Santa Barbara:

Michelle – Had an oregano or thyme? flavor
Harry – Had some heat, a vinegar taste, muddled flavors

Sabra:
Michelle – nice, had an herby taste, not much heat, tastes like something you’d get at a restaurant
Harry – okay. More herby than the others.


So which salsa came out ahead?

Just like Joanie, we love Chachies!

And we both rated Rojo’s last. Ay caramba.

So, do you have a favorite soda, soup or salsa? And are you sure?
Maybe you should have a taste test of your own…

Make sure to join us next time in the M. test kitchen as we taste the letter P!

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