Welcome to FINAL ROUND of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. First I’ll re-introduce our fighters. We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet the final two contestants:
The fact that Ryan is younger, taller and in better shape than I am means nothing. Nothing! Ryan is pure evil. Seriously. The only way someone could achieve the willpower to lose weight and buff up their bod so quickly and thoroughly is by going to the Dark side. All I need is a few sips of Pepsi and I will go Yoda* on his ass. I can polish off a cupcake faster than the Millennium Falcon can jump to lightspeed. The Force is with me. Little, ancient wrinkled me.
Finally! Now Adam will stop nagging me. I congratulate Michelle on her success so far, but it has sadly come to an end. To console her, I have this totally not deadly* cantaloupe for her.
I have a few advantages that will lead me to victory. First, the demographics of this site skew heavily toward those who prefer looking at fit guys in tight shirts over girls wearing anything (or nothing). Second, in the event that this shifts from a popularity contest to a Nerf sword duel, I believe that my childhood has believe my childhood has prepared me for success. Finally, the cantaloupe.
*Description of cantaloupe as not deadly does not imply any guarantee that the cantaloupe is not deadly.
WHO WILL BE THE C&R FIGHT CLUB ULTIMATE CHAMPION?? There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to Michelle M. and Ryan for your assistance with this post!
Due to me being lazy and stupid all week, I never finished my post about the men in this years fall class on tv. I am currently working on it, but I feel that I must give you something to entertain you in the meantime. Please enjoy kittens as Jedis.
Like last year at this time, Mikey has abandoned us for the sunny shores of Adam Corolla, North Carolina. We can only imagine that he’s again eating giant tubs of cheese balls, drinking gallons of alcohol and feasting on just a bit too much Nutella. I only hope that this year’s gluttonous behavior has not turned off his travel companion: Jeopardy! Champion Ty Cone. After a week of debauchery, it’s needless to say that Mikey is in no shape to write a Friday Five. So in his absence, Michelle M. and I have decided to each write a Friday 2.5. Because 2.5 + 2.5 = 5. I think. Yay math! Here goes…
Michelle M.’s First: Harry!
When we bought our house it came with a sunroom. We found out after the first rainfall that the sunroom came with major problems including leaky walls and a crap foundation. It would have to go.
Harry and his friends were going to tear it out this summer, but Harry ended up doing it all by himself. I mean, I know it’s not like he changed the ballast in a fluorescent light fixture, but still, I’m pretty darn impressed!
Adam’s First: Topping my list this week is Zoila Chavez, the housekeeper on Bravo’s Flipping Out. Over five seasons as Jeff Lewis’s house keeper on Flipping Out, Zoila has proven herself to be a smart-mouthed, occasionally working, hilarious addition to the design/house-flipping reality show. This season, Zoila had a facelift and recovered for a few episodes. That left Jeff to clean up for himself (including washing Zoila’s underwear) until he could find a temporary replacement. Hilarity ensued…
Michelle M.’s Second: The Woman in Black.I saw the trailer for this movie the other day. I LOVE scary movies. Especially the ones that keep me from sleeping at night. This one has lots of spooky elements: old timey photos, a decrepit house, rhyming, little girls, creepy ass dolls, creepy ass clown dolls, creepy ass monkey dolls, mud and a ghost. I can hardly wait! But I’ll have to – it doesn’t come out until Feb. 2012 : (.
Adam’s Second: This week, my #2 is Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody. Yesterday I did the unthinkable: I watched straight porn. And as you know, that’s not my thing. But lemme explain: I watched Star Trek The Next Generation – A XXX Parody! It was everything I had hoped for (and some things that I hadn’t hoped for). The story was great, the actors did a decent job, and the sets and special effects were phenomenal! Commander Data even had makeup … all over his body! All that has left me feeling even more excited for my next straight porn experience, Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody. Check out the totally SFW trailer:
Michelle M.’s Half: Adam’s tags. Sometimes they’re funnier than the posts. Some of my favorites: tam loves worms, chris d. got naked on his blog, harry should keep his day job, michelle doesn’t care about adam’s feelings, mikey loves video posts, I can always lie and pretend my mistakes are games, poor craig probably cried and why do we have to keep looking at polt’s ass?
Adam’s Half: My half this week is none other than Tam! Tam was a great sport when C&R had a lot of fun with her on our (2-day) “TamWeek.” On top of that, she also sent me a present this week — for no reason! Tam sent me a copy ofThe Vegan Table that she snagged at a Borders going-out-of-business sale when she was in Chicago last week. She’s so nice! Thanks Tam! I’m totally inspired to use this cookbook when Michelle M. and I rip of Anna & Kristina’s Grocery Bag with our new TV series on OWN. Stay tuned! I’m so excited! (And delusional!)
Great idea, Tam! That’s such a thoughtful idea!
This week’s Friday Five is made up of Harry, Zoila, The Woman In Black, Star Wars Porn, Adam’s Tags and Tam! What a great mix! What’s in your Friday Five?