1. Pizza Port – Monterey pizza is really good and the Swami’s IPA is excellent. Best place to go with a lot of people. The one in Solana Beach is my favorite but the new one in Ocean Beach is usually less crowded.
2. Canned beer/Avery IPA – I’m a recycling nut and all those bottles take up so much space. People say it doesn’t taste as good, but they’re wrong. Other favs are Caldera IPA, Oskar Blues Old Chub and Gubna. California brewers are finally doing this with Sierra Nevada putting Torpedo in a 16 oz can. Also goes great with…
3. Thai Curry – Red, green, yellow, chicken, tofu, shrimp, so yummy I could eat it twice a day.
4. Mission Proto VSI skates – Since I play inline hockey 2-3 times a week, I need a skate that fits well and is light. I have two pairs, plus an older, beat-up pair of Proto VS skates for going around the lake/bay with Michelle.
5. CCM Thornton Blades – The inline hockey surface is a slightly rough concrete and it acts like sandpaper to my stick blades. It’s much cheaper to replace the blade than buy a $100 stick every two months. I hope they keep making them when he retires.
6. Sansa Clip+ – Best. MP3 player. Ever. Clips to my t-shirt collar for a run around the lake plus it’s expandable with microSDHC cards. Also works great for taking data back and forth to work.
7. Ikea Jerker Desk – Great desk with a funny name. I started standing at my desk and this desk adjusts to the right height. Plus it’s got great storage areas for my computers. I’ll be adding some additional hidden mounts under the desk to hide my cables and router gear.
8. Vmware/Cygwin – Allows me to run Linux and use Gnu tools (bash, g++, Emacs, ssh, XWindows) while I’m using Windows. Need both for work and it’s a pain to have two computers.
9. Subaru Outback – So versatile. Use it to carry big stuff from Home Depot, hockey gear, camping gear plus it’s not as big as a SUV and gets better gas mileage.
10. AT&T Uverse – So sad we gave this up for Time-Warner cable. TW only has two pros: slow-motion and it’s cheaper. As soon as our contract is up, we’re going back to UVerse.
11. Hot sauce – Because my list goes all the way to 11 and everything is better with it (PB&J and Sriracha). As you can tell, I keep a variety on hand for every spicing need.
Recently the C&Rmy was asked to take a compatibility quiz. After compiling and scrutinizing the data (aka, giving it Harry and making him figure out the percentages), the results were in. Here are your best and worst matches. Love is in the air, so if you need to, dump your significant other, fly across the country, destroy your competition and get ready to woo your true love!
Previously on The Messy Adventures of Rainbow Poo:
Chapter One: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V
Chapter Two: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV
Chapter Three: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII
Chapter Four: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII
And Now the Conclusion of Chapter 4:
 | Tasha on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Vagina. on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | goblinbox on Biggest C&R Loser 201… |
 | Order Now! Fool Me T… on Commenter Cocktails! |
 | Jones sabo and maybe… on What Animal Are You? |
 | MsElenath on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
A Holiday Gift Extravaganza!
This week the California lottery mega millions jackpot was $116,000,000. It dawned on me that if I won, I could do some holiday shopping for my bloggy friends. So after some careful consideration I made out my ChristmasHanukkahKwanzaaWhatever list. So keep your fingers crossed that I win* and you just might find the following under your treemenorahmkekawhatever. And because there’s a slight chance I might not win, I came up with some alternative gift choices to give you.**
(Click to enlarge any of the photos)
For Tam – A luxury yacht to go island hopping and a membership to the Man of the Month club.
But if I don’t win she’ll have to settle for a toy boat and a framed photo of Polt’s ass.
For Jere – Marvel Entertainment. And I’ll throw in DC for good measure. Maybe he can do something about a Wonder Woman movie…
If I don’t win, he’ll have to stick to lawyering, so a booze hiding law book might come in handy.
For Craig – a centipede-free mansion in San Diego, so he can hang out with me (all the time)!
But the odds aren’t good, so a can of bug spray and some ear guards will have to do.
For Paul, a starring role in the upcoming Star Trek film and one of those back end movie deals where he makes mega-bucks.
But should I not win the jackpot, an Enterprise scratching post for Whitey will have to suffice.
For Ryan, I will pay off his student loans. He will also get one of these nifty cupcake cars and a lifetime supply of gas.
But if I remain a big old loser, he’s going to have to make do with this cheery little painting.
For my darling VUBOQ, a house with a pottery studio, a fully stocked walk in closet and all the gin his liver can take.
But if I don’t win, he’s getting a sparkly shoe and a jar of olives.
Lucky Mel will finally get to make lopapeysu all day in his Iceland dream house.
Unless I lose. Then he gets ice cubes and a ball of yarn.
Heather and TwoPi both like math, which is completely crazy. So I’m going to set them up with lifetime psychiatric therapy.
But if I don’t win, they will receive Godzilla pajamas, slippers and a toy city they can take turns destroying.
Adam will also get a house in San Diego and will finally find a Lexus with a big red bow in his driveway.
If I don’t have the winning numbers, though, he’ll receive a boob mug and a copy of The Vagina Monologues.
Mikey gets a wine shop. And a cheese shop.
Unless I lose. Then he gets a box of wine and a 99 cent bag of Cheetos.
For Polt, a purple palace filled with Asians with hairthings.
If I don’t win, our favorite stalker gets a fake nose and glasses and a pair of binoculars instead.
For my favorite duo, Joshrico, I’d buy penthouses and limos. Fame, fortune and the paparazzi are sure to follow.
But if I’m not the next lottery winner, I might be able to pay this guy to follow them around for an hour with his camera.
There’s always that one person on your list you have no idea what to get. For me, it’s M. Nico.
He’ll just have to settle for a gift card from Amazon.
Unless I don’t win. Then he gets fruitcake.
Mush gets a mansion, her own record label (I quite like the name “Mushtones”) and a kick ass tour bus so she can tour the country (and visit me, of course).
But if megamillions are not in my stars, she’ll be unwrapping Mr. Microphone.
Fdot watches a lot of movies, so he’ll need a mansion with a state of the art, luxury home theater.
If I lose, he’ll receive Jiffy pop and a DVD of the “best worst movie ever made” Troll 2. Featuring such classic scenes as the following:
Chris D. is excited by space, so I’ll send him there in his very own rocket.
If someone else wins my money he can pretend to be in orbit with these stick on ceiling stars.
David P. will get the VIP treatment with front row seats to any play/musical in the world. Free meals at any restaurant included.
Life does not always (or ever!) go my way though, so David can put on his own shows with these nifty finger puppets and afterward have dinner at McDonald’s.
Justin loves maple. So he will get one of those fancy million dollar log cabins in the middle of a maple tree forest.
Unless my numbers are off. Then he gets a bottle of imitation maple syrup.
I would pay all of john’s bills and buy him a house and an art gallery so he could quit his stupid job and concentrate on his art.
If I don’t win, a big bag of rabbit chow is just the ticket.
I would buy the Kid the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Or a Sidney Crosby bobblehead (if I’m doomed to a life as a non millionaire).
David G. is getting a first class ticket to Hollywood and his own studio. Those zombie screenplays of his will finally be up on the silver screen for me to enjoy.
But should I lose, here’s a t-shirt.
Nathan will get a private jet to fly him around the world.
Or this book of paper airplanes. Not winning the lottery sucks.
Ty will get that $250,000 Jeopardy money he should have gotten in the tournament of Champions.
But if I don’t win, a ceramic Dalmatian from the Old School Wheel of Fortune is just as good.
Mr. Sombrero already has Adam, so obviously he doesn’t need anything else.
I do have a lot of peanut butter left over from the taste test, though…
If I forgot anyone, let me know in the comments, and I’ll find a regift in the garage for you.
So, hopefully, I will be the next megamillionaire, but know that if I’m not I’ll be wishing you all health, love and happiness in the New Year and always.
*It might help if I bought a lottery ticket.
**Just kidding, I’m not getting you anything at all.
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