A recent study showed that “having to urinate really bad while driving is equivalent in terms of impairment to about a 0.05 blood alcohol level, according to the invaluable research done by Dr. Peter Snyder, a VP of research at Rhode Island Hospital.” My advice? Just pee! Where ever you are, just let it out! Just how creative have you been with your urination? Let’s find out!
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever peed?
2. Have you ever peed in a public restroom?
3. Have you ever peed in the opposite gender’s bathroom?
4. Have you ever peed while taking a shower?
5. Have you ever peed into a kitchen sink?
6. Have you ever peed into a jar or bottle?
7. Have you ever peed into a cup for a drug test?
8. Have you ever peed on the side of the road?
9. Have you ever peed in a port-a-john?
10. Have you ever peed while in a moving train?
11. Have you ever peed while in an airplane?
12. Have you ever peed while in a bus?
13. Have you ever peed in pool?
14. Have you ever peed in the ocean?
15. Have you ever peed in the snow?
16. Have you ever peed onto a floor?
17. Have you ever peed in front of someone else?
18. Have you ever peed in a bed?
19. Have you ever peed in your pants?
20. Have you ever peed out of the window of a moving vehicle?
21. Have you ever peed while driving a car?
22. Have you ever peed onto someone else?
23. Have you ever peed into someone’s mouth?
24. Have you ever peed into your own mouth?
25. Have you ever peed during sex?
Tell us your total and any fun pee stories in the comments.
Like last year at this time, Mikey has abandoned us for the sunny shores of Adam Corolla, North Carolina. We can only imagine that he’s again eating giant tubs of cheese balls, drinking gallons of alcohol and feasting on just a bit too much Nutella. I only hope that this year’s gluttonous behavior has not turned off his travel companion: Jeopardy! Champion Ty Cone. After a week of debauchery, it’s needless to say that Mikey is in no shape to write a Friday Five. So in his absence, Michelle M. and I have decided to each write a Friday 2.5. Because 2.5 + 2.5 = 5. I think. Yay math! Here goes…
Michelle M.’s First: Harry!
When we bought our house it came with a sunroom. We found out after the first rainfall that the sunroom came with major problems including leaky walls and a crap foundation. It would have to go.
Harry and his friends were going to tear it out this summer, but Harry ended up doing it all by himself. I mean, I know it’s not like he changed the ballast in a fluorescent light fixture, but still, I’m pretty darn impressed!
Adam’s First: Topping my list this week is Zoila Chavez, the housekeeper on Bravo’s Flipping Out. Over five seasons as Jeff Lewis’s house keeper on Flipping Out, Zoila has proven herself to be a smart-mouthed, occasionally working, hilarious addition to the design/house-flipping reality show. This season, Zoila had a facelift and recovered for a few episodes. That left Jeff to clean up for himself (including washing Zoila’s underwear) until he could find a temporary replacement. Hilarity ensued…
Michelle M.’s Second: The Woman in Black. I saw the trailer for this movie the other day. I LOVE scary movies. Especially the ones that keep me from sleeping at night. This one has lots of spooky elements: old timey photos, a decrepit house, rhyming, little girls, creepy ass dolls, creepy ass clown dolls, creepy ass monkey dolls, mud and a ghost. I can hardly wait! But I’ll have to – it doesn’t come out until Feb. 2012 : (.
Adam’s Second: This week, my #2 is Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody. Yesterday I did the unthinkable: I watched straight porn. And as you know, that’s not my thing. But lemme explain: I watched Star Trek The Next Generation – A XXX Parody! It was everything I had hoped for (and some things that I hadn’t hoped for). The story was great, the actors did a decent job, and the sets and special effects were phenomenal! Commander Data even had makeup … all over his body! All that has left me feeling even more excited for my next straight porn experience, Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody. Check out the totally SFW trailer:
Michelle M.’s Half: Adam’s tags. Sometimes they’re funnier than the posts. Some of my favorites: tam loves worms, chris d. got naked on his blog, harry should keep his day job, michelle doesn’t care about adam’s feelings, mikey loves video posts, I can always lie and pretend my mistakes are games, poor craig probably cried and why do we have to keep looking at polt’s ass?
Adam’s Half: My half this week is none other than Tam! Tam was a great sport when C&R had a lot of fun with her on our (2-day) “Tam Week.” On top of that, she also sent me a present this week — for no reason! Tam sent me a copy of The Vegan Table that she snagged at a Borders going-out-of-business sale when she was in Chicago last week. She’s so nice! Thanks Tam! I’m totally inspired to use this cookbook when Michelle M. and I rip of Anna & Kristina’s Grocery Bag with our new TV series on OWN. Stay tuned! I’m so excited! (And delusional!)
Great idea, Tam! That’s such a thoughtful idea!
This week’s Friday Five is made up of Harry, Zoila, The Woman In Black, Star Wars Porn, Adam’s Tags and Tam! What a great mix! What’s in your Friday Five?
Welcome one and all to the Friday Five. It’s our weekly Cocky & Rude wrap-up of what’s great this week. This week’s list is full of hairy dudes, stinky things, great movies and weird web videos. But instead of teasing you any more … let’s get started!
First up this week is Natalie Portman’s newborn baby. On Tuesday, the 30-year-old, super-talented and adorable actress welcomed her first child. She had a baby boy … and we at C&R pretty sure that this is the father:
And not this guy:
But we look forward to the paternity test to prove us wrong.
Next up this week is Super 8. Lemme just tell you, this movie is Super Great. It’s the perfect mix of a classic Spielberg movie (like E.T., Jaws, or Close Encounters), and the fantastic storytelling of J.J. Abrams. Seriously, after Alias, Lost, the Star Trek reboot, and Super 8, I’ll follow J.J. anywhere he wants to take me.
And when I’m following him, I’ll be wearing flip flops. I may hate weather, but I love wearing flip flops in the summertime. And I’ll wear them anywhere that my feet will take me. They’re not just beach footwear anymore. Restaurants, stores, the office, and anywhere inbetween. I’m flip flopping it. Watch out!
Weiners have been in the news a lot lately, but what about their two cousins, the testicles? And something a lot of guys often experience (not me) is sweaty, stinky balls. The New York Times recently ran an article about all the great new (and humorously named) products that have been designed to tackle this pressing issue (that I’ve never had). And boys, next time you’re feeling a little damp down there, why not use a dash of ‘Man Powder,’ ‘Dry Goods,’ or ‘Dry Down Friction Free Powder.’
And finally this week is an unusual web video. I’m not quite sure what’s going on — just that there’s a bunch of oddly animated clips from The View and a whole lot of “Sextape.” I think this must be what it’s like to do a whole lotta drugs. Please enjoy(?) “SEXTAPE – ‘The View’ Remix” …
The Baby Portman, Super 8, flip flops, sweaty balls and that creepy weird ‘Sextape’ video — those are my five favorites of the week. Runners up this week include: New York, Ray Lamontagne, eating food, sleeping, roasted red pepper hummus and hardcore gay porn. What are your five favorites of the week?
I admit it … sometimes I run out of ideas! So when I was discussing further editions of our Have You Ever?! quizzes with Enrico, he suggested one that I should have thought about a long time ago. And so without further ado, I present to you: Have You Ever… In Bed?! You know the drill: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points, and post your total in the comments section. Here we go!
1. Have you ever fallen asleep in bed?
2. Have you ever read a book in bed?
3. Have you ever listened to music in bed?
4. Have you ever consumed a meal in bed?
5. Have you ever watched TV in bed?
6. Have you ever peed in bed?
7. Have you ever slept naked in bed?
8. Have you ever spent an entire day in bed?
9. Have you ever talked on the phone in bed?
10. Have you ever munched on crackers in bed?
11. Have you ever cried in bed?
12. Have you ever played with action figures in bed?
13. Have you ever been too warm, so you stuck one leg out from under the covers in bed?
14. Have you ever had a nightmare in bed?
15. Have you ever been bitten by bedbugs in bed?
16. Have you ever counted sheep in bed?
17. Have you ever consumed an alcoholic beverage in bed?
18. Have you ever flipped a pillow so you could enjoy the cool side in bed?
19. Have you ever enjoyed the company of a sleeping pet in bed?
20. Have you ever spilled food or a beverage and made a big mess in bed?
21. Have you ever pulled the covers over your head in bed?
22. Have you ever hit the snooze button so you could spend a little more time in bed?
23. Have you ever used a computer while in bed?
24. Have you ever snored in bed?
25. Have you ever read a fortune cookie fortune out loud and then ended it with the phrase, “in bed.”
Oh all the things you’ve done in bed! I’m impressed! You’re so innocent (for this week at least)!! Don’t forget to post your point total in the comments!
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It’s The Cocky & Rude Match Game! (3.02)
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