Welcome to the second week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40! This week’s theme is “GOAL & PRIZE” - Everything is easier if there’s a goal & prize in place. Each of the contestants will tell us what their personal goal and/or prize is and how it will motivate them to lose weight.
When I win Biggest C&R Loser, I’m going to let Mr. Sombrero buy me an entirely new wardrobe! We’re going to go shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch and buy one of these weird-shaped sports balls. That’s all I’m ever going to wear!
My goal for this round of BCRL is to lose enough weight that I can throw away my fat jeans! Or burn them. Or both!
I am playing to fit into all of my clothes….and to make sure that when I go shopping for clothes I don’t have to constantly buy a size up. I hate that. 
This time around I hope to get serious about my weight loss. I’ve gained a small ton in the past six months and have almost doubled in size since I met Adam. [hmmm?] And all for good reasons: health, general well being and a bunch of clothes that no longer fit.
My goal in this competition is to be healthier and look better. Hopefully like the guy in this photo. It’s important to aim high, so that even if I don’t quite make it, I still get quite far.
What’s my goal and prize for doing this? Well the weight loss will be nice, but my main reason for doing this (other than the money) is my diabetes: I want to get my A1C to 7.0 or below (which makes me a controlled diabetic. Normal people are 6.0 or below). Last March, it was above 9, my doctor yelled at me and put me on a diet. I followed it and in three months, dropped to 7.1 in June. Because I slacked off, in September, it was 7.4. Now, over the holidays, I’m sure it’s gone up again. And this coming Monday i have a doctor’s appointment, where I’m sure she’ll yell at me again. But with her yelling and this contest, hopefully, I can get it back down around or below 7.0. That’s my goal. the prize? Having better health and not dying as soon.
Okay, I was really not mentally prepared for this whole process to start last week. I seemed to be still in the post-holiday sugar-craving mode. Enough. I need to track my food consumption more carefully. No more chocolate. My goal is 15lbs. I know that’s kind of wimpy, but if I don’t set my sights too high I might actually make it and more would be a bonus. Better to aim low and succeed I always say. Well, mostly. Whatever. Reward? I don’t know. Maybe new shoes. I’m always up for new shoes. (And no, I don’t really want pink sequinned sneakers, but something.)
My “prize” is a cruise with my immediate family, hitting various ports along the Baltic. For me, the challenging part of this trip will be its physical demands. I have arthritis in my lumbar spine, and can’t (currently) be on my feet for prolonged periods of time. This will put a serious crimp in our site seeing at the ports of call. I’m working on physical therapy to try and regain some motion and strength, but one thing that would make all of that more effective is weight loss.
Our first week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate one week into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
Everything is easier if there’s a goal & prize in place. This week, the contestants were invited to tell us what they will do to reward themselves when they attain their weight-loss goals. Here’s what they said:
TwoPi
My mid-range goal is to lose 10% and be able to maintain that weight loss. I’m hoping to feel healthier, have better flexibility, and be able to see my doctor without having her recommend yet another fad diet. Most importantly, I don’t want to have to buy new clothes in larger sizes than what I currently wear. So I guess the prize I’m working toward is keeping my current wardrobe intact!
Mikey
My goal is to look hotter than this bitch on my wedding day. I know that’s tall order, but everyone knows I’m a bigger queen than she will ever be. I’m on my way there, too! Despite four events for Ty’s birthday (including one with a 24 course meal), I managed to lose weight this week. I’m attributing it to the flop sweat that broke out due to my extreme anxiety during planning the parties!
Mr. Sombrero
My goal is to lose 11% in this round so I can fit into my old pantalones again.
Michelle M.
Like Tam, My goal is to fit back into my jeans. I have been wearing the same pair (or sweats) for I don’t know how long. I refuse to buy more in a bigger size when I have plenty of good ones in my closet.
Tam
Hmmm. I thought about goals. New clothes? Well, that could be a necessity. Books? Ha! That’s a given. So I decided for every 10 lbs I lose I shall buy myself a lovely bouquet of flowers to remind me of what I’ve achieved. And how many bouquets do I get this week? Blerg. Thanks to traveling and eating out and receptions and booze and pastries … NADA. But I’m home next week where I can get back on the wagon, really. I think I will print out a nice flower pic and paste it to my fridge when I get home. Maybe it will help. One can only hope.
Adam
When I attain my weight-loss goal, I’m going to get a tattoo. Not as extreme as that guy … just something small on my right forearm. I’ve always wanted a tattoo, and this motivation is as good as any finally man-up and get it. Oh, and maybe I’ll go back to being a vegetarian. I’ll reward myself with tattoos and cheese! But not a tattoo of cheese.
Ryan
Whenever I reach a weight milestone, I’m rewarding myself with music. It both motivates me to stay on course with my diet and exercise and makes sure that I put thought into what music I buy. I’ve shown a few options in my photo. PS – I’m pretty sure most of this week’s weight loss was the release of excess water and glycogen from my liver that built up from the conference the weekend before we started.
Polt
So I’m supposed to talk about my “Personal Goal Prize”. Hmm, well when I win the competition, I will have lost enough weight and firmed up enough to be able to wear one of these babies! I’m not sure WHERE I’d wear it, but that’s beside the point, cause looking like that, I’m sure I’ll find no shortage of places that would WANT me to wear it! And I do hope the pouch comes in various sizes, cause I’m gonna need a bigger pouch.
And now, the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our nine contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
 | Mikey on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
 | poltguy on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
 | Michelle M. on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
 | The Incredibly Shrin… on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
| Michelle M. on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
| Mikey on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
| Polt on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
| poltguy on Interior Design … With… |
Find Out Who Has The Biggest Boy-Parts! (NSFW)
While innocently surfing the Internet, I stumbled upon some survey results from a few years ago. It seems that the reputable source, Condomania.com has determined a unique rankings of average penis size in the 50 states. Here’s Condomania’s results, ordered by largest to smallest penis:
By now you’ve scanned the list to see where you rank. Are you lucky enough to be living in well-endowed New Hampshire? Or maybe you’re living in Micropenisville, Wyoming? Most of the C&R frequent commenters living in the following 8 states … and here’s how we measure up:
The results turned out quite well for the presumably well-hung Mikey, Craig, Ty, Josh, Jere and the rest of our New York commenters. Unfortunately those of us in New Jersey (like myself) and Maine didn’t quite measure up. But as those of us who are a bit less than well endowed often claim: it’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.
A final note … New Yorkers shouldn’t whip out their junk and celebrate too quickly. When Condomania.com ranked the 20 most populated U.S. cities by their average penis size, some new facts were revealed:
It’s good news for commenters like Harry, Ryan and VUBOQ, who live in or near San Diego and Washington D.C. It looks like they may out-measure a few of our New York City friends after all.
So how do you measure up? Are these lists accurate? And what city and state will you be visiting on your next vacation?
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