Our eleventh week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate eleven weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
Rosie O’Donnell once admitted to stopping at multiple Waffle Houses because she was embarrassed to order so much food from a single fast-food restaurant. This week I asked each of the contestants for a pre-diet embarrassing admission. Here’s what they had to say…
Michelle M.
Well, there was that one time I ate 10 tacos…
Ryan
I’m most embarrassed with how I would get a large bag of candy, eat until the sugar made me feel sick, and then sometimes keep eating. I’m also not proud of how I would sometimes substitute a bag of Doritos or a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for a meal or how quickly I could go through a box of donuts.
Polt
So this week, we’re detailing an something embarrassing we did before we started the contest. Hmm, well being over 300 12 years ago was pretty embarrassing in an of itself. But let’s see, what else embarrassing did I do? Oh yeah, well a few years back, mom made me a Boston Cream Pie for my birthday. She, dad and I each had a slice when she gave it to me. Then I took it home. By 8:00 the next evening, the entire pie was gone. It was simply THAT good, ate the whole damn thing in less than a day. Not the first time either. But in my defense, Mama Polt makes a HELLUVA delicious pie! (and I don’t have any photos of her pies, so the one I included in just a generic pie, which I’m sure tastes nowhere near as good as hers!)
Mikey
My shocking admission is that I love to eat ice cream and like Fat Betty I just can’t stop. You see that pint of Ben & Jerry’s? I could make that my bitch in about 20 minutes, no brain freeze, one spoon, pure bliss. Truth be told, I MISS IT SO FREAKIN MUCH. 
Mr. Sombrero
Does a honey badger think some of his actions are embarrassing? Of course he doesn’t. He’s a honey badger. Does Mr. Sombrero think eating an entire tub of Twix ice cream… before dinner… is embarrassing? Probably not. He’s Mr. Sombrero. Wait… we’re suppose to be dieting? Ok, now I’m embarrassed to admit something…
TwoPi
I do all the cooking and grocery shopping for the family. One of the benefits (or risks) of grocery shopping alone is the opportunity to buy a “little treat” or snack for the drive home. For a while, I was craving Doritos, and each time at the grocery I’d buy a big bag of Doritos, and snarf them down on the drive home. (This might be two or three times per week at its worst.) At one point I had the brilliant idea to put wet wipes in the car to eliminate the tell-tale signs of Dorito snarfage, but in a cold weather climate this doesn’t work out so well. I might not have lost as much weight as my compatriots here, but BC&RL3 *did* help break me of my shameful Dorito habit.
Tam
I don’t think I’ve ever done something like that, not that I can think of. Although I have eaten my lunch in my office at 10:30 and then went and bought lunch in the cafeteria at 12:00. Sigh I’m more paranoid what people are thinking when I legitimately buy food for more than me. If you go to the drive-thru and order two burgers and fries (both the same) and you get to the window and there is only you in the car, are they wondering what kind of a pig I am or assuming I’m taking it home for someone? When I order a large pizza I hope they realize I’m not home alone, I could have five kids running around in there. So I’m conscious of how it looks when I order/buy certain foods, but I’ve not done too much sneaky food eating/buying.
Adam
Much like Tam, I’m also incredibly paranoid about being judged. A few years ago (when I was vegetarian) I was feeling blue and put myself on a a steady diet of veggie subs, Doritos, Entenmann’s chocolate chip cookies and Peanut M&M’s. I’d stop at the local Wawa convenience store almost every day after work and stock up on the evening’s depression binge. I’d often feel embarrassed by the mass of junk food that I was buying, and would somehow convince myself that if I bought two drinks, the cashier would think my purchase was for multiple people. It was convenient because then I had two drinks to wash down all the crap!
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
Our eighth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate eight weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
People say that you should never sweat the small stuff. But sometimes it’s the little things that drive us crazy. This week we asked each of our contestants what one (or more) ‘little things’ are that bother them. Maybe it’s their blobby fat that hangs over their waist band, or the way that diet food always seems to taste awful. Here’s what they said:
Tam
When you say little things, I’ll take it literally. Why are little things so fattening? It’s only a few peanuts. They’re miniature M&Ms. It’s just dried cranberries. All of them JAMMED with calories (in addition to good things). All small food should have small calories. If you eat a huge burger, big calories. Tiny cookies, tiny calories. Why are these things not logical?
Mr. Sombrero
There are few things that bother Mr Sombrero. Number one is the scale. It hasn’t moved in weeks. What the frak scale?! I thought we were in this together?! Did Adam put you up to this? [no response] Whatever. Another thing that bothers Mr Sombrero is his full length mirror. I don’t like what I’m seeing. Yes I’m talking to you mirror. Don’t give me that fat look. You know what else bothers Mr S? That kid that lost his cupcakes. Yeah that Ryan kid. Showoff. I think I’ve seen some of his cupcakes hanging around my scale. And another thing, what is up with veggie farts. I mean seriously, enough is enough. And do they have to smell like hipster’s wool hat on a hot and humid urban August afternoon? Yeah these are some of my (least) favorite things…
Ryan
I’m getting tired of tracking everything. It’s the key to my success so far, but it gets really frustrating whenever I eat something outside of my normal routine. The uncertainty of how much food something contains can make planning the rest of the day pointless. This leads me to rely mostly on whether I feel hungry, but this leads to the temptation to let myself have what I want to eat even if I shouldn’t.
Michelle M.
One of the little things I hate is being a girl and trying to lose weight. It’s hard to stay on track when you automatically put on up to 5 pounds of water weight each month. You think you’re being good and the WHAM the numbers on the scale jump up. It’s so discouraging. And craving sugar and salty snacks doesn’t help. Stupid hormones.
TwoPi
What irritates me the most is having to pay attention to the bathroom scale once a week. Bad enough having to stand on the darned thing, which naturally gives out a little creaking noise, as in “Oh my GOHD how many of you ARE there?” Then there’s a number, which is never the number I remember from when I was in high school (roughly the last time in my life I stood on a bathroom scale on a regular basis). And finally, there’s the blasted comparison of this week’s number with last week’s number. Ugh. I feel like a schoolboy who just got called in front of the class and didn’t do his homework. Bleh.
Mikey
The little things I hate are the way my shirts fit and the way that my pants fit. I feel like ALL of my shirts are too small and I float around like the pink iceberg named Fat Betty. My pants however are loose enough that I need a belt, but my belt doesn’t have a hole at the right spot….so they are constantly sagging and showing my ample rear.
Adam
A little thing that I hate? Clothes that don’t fit. I’ve gained some weight in the last year — and now the shirts I wore last year aren’t fitting. Why can’t someone design clothing that grows with you? Or maybe I should just buy every available size of shirts that I like. That way one of ‘em will always fit! Think of all the plaid!!!
Polt
So this week we’re talking about the little things we hate. Writing these blurbs each week can be a pain, but I’ll not mention that. And I thought I’d actually have to force myself to be taking walks, but I find I enjoy them, and frankly, feel a bit guilty when I don’t take one at least every other day. No, I think what irritates me the most about this diet thing, is the lack of variety in the food I’m eating. I’m eating all the meat and veggies I want (not that I want, or even eat all that many), but after awhile, I’ve just gotten sick of steak. I’d really like to have a sub and some chips, or a big plate of steaming hot pasta and meatballs, or a huge greasy slice of pizza…but I cant. Steak and salad for me…thank you very much. Ah well, in the end it’ll be worth it, right?
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
Our third week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate three weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
Exercise is an important part of every weight-loss regimen. This week, the contestants were invited to tell us how they’ve exercised to help attain their weight-loss goals. Here’s what they said:
Mikey
The only exercise I have been able to get in the past two weeks has been walking to/from work, walking the dog, playing with the dog, and COUGHING. However, since my diet changes have resulted in my weight loss leveling off and since I am finally able to move around without hacking up a corner of my lungs, I am instituting an exercise regimen. I will be doing 30-45 min of cardio every other day for the near future. May my ass disappear.
Tam
The picture says it all. I really have not focused at all on exercise. I have really only been seriously participating in this challenge for about 10 days because of my trip, so right now I’m just paying attention to what I eat and how much of it. I’ve been faithfully logging my in-take on Spark People and I think for right now I need to focus on that until it becomes more second nature. If I starting thinking I must do this, and this, and this, I’m likely to do none of it. So that’s my rationale for sitting my ass on the couch and doing nothing.
Ryan
The majority of my exercise is walking. Commuting to work gives me a baseline of twelve miles each week. I’ve also started using a walk tracking app on my phone. I love it because I can take a spontaneous path and not have to worry about remembering every detour when I map the route when I get home. I’ve also been doing some calisthenics, but I haven’t been disciplined about it. Usually, it amounts to doing some pushups while my oatmeal is cooking if I don’t have any dishes to wash.
Adam
I’ve been a lazy piece of shit for the past week. I’m paying for a gym membership … I really need to go to the gym. Ugh. But I’m just so damn lazy. bloooooooooooooooooob. Maybe my arm muscles will get bigger if I buy heavier forks. And spoons.
Polt
This week we’re supposed to talk about exercise. I don’t feel the need to change my exercise regime, as I was getting quite a bit of exercise before we started. I mean, several times in an evening, I had to drag my fat ass off the couch, ya know, to get something to eat, or to pee or whatever. And at least once a day, I have to roll my fat ass outta bed…NOT an easy thing to do, I assure you. So as long as I keep working out like that, I should do really well.
TwoPi
Slow and steady wins the race! Unless you’re pedaling on a stationary bike, that is. Or not, as I’ve been lately. I couldn’t find the “Add dust and cobwebs” filter in Photoshop… but the actual stationary bike and elliptical machine sitting in my attic are gathering more dust than sweat these days. I’ve been struggling with hip and back trouble for months, and at the moment my most strenuous activity is walking (when I’m able) and physical therapy (when I’m good and I remember). But I know I’ve got the equipment waiting there to be dusted off, and surely some day…
Michelle M.
I haven’t exercised at all. I’VE BEEN SICK! I did get my hula hoop, Thighmaster, in-line skates and dumbbells out of the garage for this photo, so that should count for something. Other exercise I haven’t been doing: walking around the lake, riding my bike and Zumba (which I intend to buy/do one day, so that should also count for something).
Mr. Sombrero
Mr. Sombrero has been feeling a bit under the weather past few days and he had to skip a few classes. But on a good week his exercise regimen consist of yoga, calisthenics, and ton, like 7 miles a day, of walking. And somehow I still don’t see the results fast enough. Damn you quesadillas!!!
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
Our second week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate two weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
Diet is an important part of every weight-loss regimen. This week, the contestants were invited to tell us how they’ve changed their diet to help attain their weight-loss goals. Here’s what they said:
Michelle M.
My diet this past week has pretty much consisted of cough drops, orange juice and ginger ale. If I could keep this up, I would reach my goal weight in no time at all. When I’m feeling better, though, I’ll be cutting out the junk food and trying not to eat after 8pm.
Ryan
My diet hasn’t changed much because I never went back to my old diet after last year. My current calorie budget is around 1800 calories from a balanced mix of carbs, protein, and fat. Like last year, oatmeal with raisins is my breakfast. Lately, I have been experimenting with dishes that combine beans and pineapple.
Tam
Yes, this picture represents my “diet” for the past week. Gotta love being on a work trip. Ugh. So I’ve only been back 3 days really, back on the “wagon”, the starvation wagon. Next week be better. Swear. I bought all the stuff to make salad for my work lunch. I like salad, I’m just to lazy to prepare it. I also have banned any ice-cream in my house that I would like to eat. No temptation. Lately I’ve been craving sweet things, so I stocked up on my fave black seedless grapes and pineapple so hopefully when I get the craving for cake, those will suffice. Now that I’m home and can determine how things are cooked I think it will be easy to be careful. I think according to Spark people I eat about 1300 – 1500 calories a day. I’m usually at the low end if I pay attention and am not at the muffin/beer buffet. Hey, but at least I’m not up. Go me.
TwoPi
I love to cook. It is a central piece of who I am, one of my favorite recreational activities. Whatever dietary changes I put in place now need to be ones I can sustain for the long haul. So for the most part, I’m unwilling to change my diet, my cooking habits, although I am working toward incorporating more green vegetables and less protein, less fat, into the choices I make. The primary change in my diet isn’t what I’m eating, but how much I’m eating. I’m trying to be conscious of portion sizes, of not taking seconds, of not snacking out of boredom. (I love numbers, but I’m not counting calories.) No doubt the scale shows that I’m making modest progress at best, but in all honesty I’m not worried about losing the most weight in BC&RL3, I more concerned with being able to keep the weight off while still feeling satisfied in the kitchen and dining room.
Polt
So this week, we’re supposed to talk about how our diet’s changed. Mine…hasn’t. Although, come to think of it, I have been eating a lot of Cheetos lately. That shouldn’t be a problem, I mean they’re just cheesey-powder covered air anyway, right? And air has no calories, right? So, yeah, this is a good thing in my opinion.
Mikey
My diet has changed moderately so far. I’m working to cut back on fried foods and unnecessary sugars (like tonic….sure club soda is really boring, but so many fewer calories!). I never count calories, only cocktails, of which there have been few since I am sick with bronchitis and I shouldn’t even be writing this thing. The upside to being sick is that I’m losing weight by not doing much. That’s awesome.
Adam
This week, like many of the other BC&RL3-ers, I was plagued by illness. A splitting migraine and a 4-5 days of nausea left me without much in my belly. My diet (now that I have recovered) will consist of healthy meals and no snacking. I usually eat very healthy meals, but I’m awful at maintaining my diet once the sun goes down. Cookies, chips, pretzels and candy are the salty and sweet nightly demons that make me fat. But no more!
Mr. Sombrero
I have to admit that I haven’t given much thought to the diet factor of this challenge. Nutritionally my diet is pretty good but my biggest enemies are peanut butter and quesadillas. That will be the toughest part, scaling down on those yummy monsters. And the fact that Adam just gave me his quesadilla maker is not making it any easier to get on track… Now that I think about it, he might be trying to sabotage me… [insert gasp and dramatic telenovela music here]
And now, the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
This past week I have been sick, sick, sick. I haven’t been this sick since I taught preschool (where I got sick on a weekly basis). The sickness started with chills, fatigue and nausea and a fever. Then the coughing started. So I went to the store, got some cold medicine, came home and conked out. Being sick stinks. Sure, you get to stay home and laze around, but you can’t really enjoy it if you’re coughing up a lung. There are some things that make it bearable, though. Here are a few of mine:
Canada Dry Ginger ale with ice (or 7up in a pinch, but not Schweppes, that stuff is nasty)
Clean sheets
Orange Popsicles (the ones made with real juice)
Granny Smith apple slices
my hot water bottle
Saltine Crackers
Homemade chicken noodle soup
A stack of library books
Television
Honey Lemon cough drops (cherry is disgusting)
I don’t have one of these, but it would certainly come in handy…
And a little TLC
Those are some of the things that make me feel better when I’m under the weather. What makes you feel better when you’re sick? Would you rather have someone take care of you, or do you like to be left alone? Let me know in comments!
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10 Reasons Why I Might Dislike You On Facebook
You can’t stop posting photos of your children
You constantly post photos of sick/sad/dying animals
You do nothing but talk about sports 24/7
Your politics are stupid
You complain constantly
You post a photo of every meal that you eat
You are constantly fishing for pity
You are constantly fishing for compliments
You are wayyyy too attractive
You are way happier than me
So what bugs you on Facebook? (And don’t forget to follow Cocky&Rude!)
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