August 9, 2011
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Let’s face it. Vaginas aren’t the only sex organs that are gross. Penises are also pretty dang disgusting! And after such a fantastic response from my 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are Gross post last month, it’s only fair to turn the tables. Here’s 10 reasons why penises are also gross:
1. They dangle between your legs and look like the bastard cousin of an elephant trunk!
2. They often hang a bit to one side.
3. They shrink when it’s cold!
4. They get bigger and rigid when they’re happy … what’s the deal with that?
5. When they get really happy, they squirt!
6. Pee comes out of them!
7. Some of them are wearing turtlenecks, and some of them
look like funny-looking mushrooms.
8. If they’re not properly washed, they can be smelly and covered with smegma!
And don’t get me started on sweaty balls! Eww!
9. WTF is the deal with balls? They’re hairy and weird looking!
10. They dangle in the toilet when take take a poo!
Oh who am I kidding? This list was hard to come up with because penises are great! I take it all back!
January 5, 2011
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Have you ever been a little less than wonderful in the winter wonderland? Today’s snow-themed Have You Ever?! quiz is going to find out. For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments section.
Have you ever…
1. Have you ever gone sledding?
2. Have you ever gone ice skating?
3. Have you ever made a snow angel?
4. Have you ever fallen on ice?
5. Have you ever been in a snowball fight?
6. Have you ever thrown a ‘yellow’ snowball at someone?
7. Have you ever had frostbite?
8. Have you ever gone snowmobiling?
9. Have you ever regretted driving in the snow?
10. Have you ever been in a car that got stuck in the snow?
11. Have you ever been in a car accident because of the snow?
12. Have you ever discovered a lot of shrinkage after you or your man spent a lot of time outside in the cold?
13. Have you ever pretended to be sick or lied so someone would shovel the snow for you?
14. Have you ever faked a heart attack so you could stop shoveling?
15. Have you ever missed work or school because of the snow?
16. Have you ever blamed the snow and played hooky from school or work when you could have made it in?
17. Have you ever been naked by yourself outside in the snow?
18. Have you ever been naked with one or more other people in the snow?
19. Have you ever urinated or defecated outside in the snow?
20. Have you ever built an anatomically correct snow-person?
21. Have you ever gone swimming outdoors during the winter (like a member of the Polar Bear Club)?
22. Have you ever had sex in an igloo or ice hotel?
23. Have you ever had sex outdoors while it was snowing?
24. Have you ever fallen through thin ice and were in danger of losing your life?
25. Have you ever murdered someone by stabbing them with an icicle? (The perfect crime!)
Did u behave yourself? Tell us the truth! Post your score in the comments.