Welcome to the 8th week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40! This week’s theme is “TEMPTATION” – Everyone is tempted by something (food, laziness, sleep) when they should be eating healthy and exercising. What tempts the contestants? Let’s find out!
So this week, it’s Temptation. My biggest temptation is: Gay Porn. ‘Well DUH!’ I can hear you all saying now, but I mean as it relates to this contest. See, if I give in to the temptation of the uncounted amount of gay porn on the Internet, then I spend time watching that and NOT out walking. And after watching gay porn, I’m generally in need of replenishing my…energies. So I eat. And usually it’s snacky-stuff, that’s not healthy for me. So if I could resist the gay porn, I could be exercising more and eating better. …..but yeah, we ALL know that ain’t gonna happen.
My temptations are books, I’m either reading one (Don’t ya love my snazzy red e-reader?) or writing one and Chapman’s oatmeal cookies and chocolate ice-cream sandwiches. But they were on sale. How could I not buy them? I’m just a lazy ass all around. I should be up doing something useful and energetic, but I’d rather surf the net and do reading-type stuff. Which would explain why there is no way in hell I am winning the $40.
I’ve mostly been eating what I want. I’ve gotten over my cravings for sweets (fairly easy) and for salty snack foods (harder). But what I’m so so SO tempted by is caffeinated coffee. My physician took me off caffeine last summer, and I’ve been successful staying off. But man, when I get behind on grading papers, get up early to get work done before the kids wake up, and I’m sipping my third cup of decaf wondering why it isn’t doing it for me…dang. I’ve been jonesing for caffeine pretty badly lately.
Lately I’ve been tempted to actually lose weight. I’ve been considering a visit to the gym. I’ve even thought about counting calories. Maybe I’ll actually succumb to the temptation!!
What tempts me? My inner child. Grown up me knows she should eat right and exercise, but my inner child is quite the little temptress. What she says pretty much goes.
My number one temptation is take out. Living in NYC it is sooooo easy to order anything to your door, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you will eat well. At least once a week I am tired enough to think about ordering…but my brain denies it.
I get tempted so easily. Mostly by peanut butter and anything else that starts with the word, “Reese’s.” Late at night when I’m watching Chelsea Lately, I think that should be exercising. Instead, I just close my eyes and imagine that I am Mena Suvari in American Beauty, being showered with rose petals. Except that it’s me instead of Mena, and I’m being showered with jars of PB. And then I get hit in the head and wake up. Then it’s time for bed.
My biggest temptation is eating delicious quick unhealthy foods. I’m a sucker for pizza. Making healthy choices is more expensive and more work, and I’m just lazy I guess.
1. Pizza Port – Monterey pizza is really good and the Swami’s IPA is excellent. Best place to go with a lot of people. The one in Solana Beach is my favorite but the new one in Ocean Beach is usually less crowded.
2. Canned beer/Avery IPA – I’m a recycling nut and all those bottles take up so much space. People say it doesn’t taste as good, but they’re wrong. Other favs are Caldera IPA, Oskar Blues Old Chub and Gubna. California brewers are finally doing this with Sierra Nevada putting Torpedo in a 16 oz can. Also goes great with…
3. Thai Curry – Red, green, yellow, chicken, tofu, shrimp, so yummy I could eat it twice a day.
4. Mission Proto VSI skates – Since I play inline hockey 2-3 times a week, I need a skate that fits well and is light. I have two pairs, plus an older, beat-up pair of Proto VS skates for going around the lake/bay with Michelle.
5. CCM Thornton Blades – The inline hockey surface is a slightly rough concrete and it acts like sandpaper to my stick blades. It’s much cheaper to replace the blade than buy a $100 stick every two months. I hope they keep making them when he retires.
6. Sansa Clip+ – Best. MP3 player. Ever. Clips to my t-shirt collar for a run around the lake plus it’s expandable with microSDHC cards. Also works great for taking data back and forth to work.
7. Ikea Jerker Desk – Great desk with a funny name. I started standing at my desk and this desk adjusts to the right height. Plus it’s got great storage areas for my computers. I’ll be adding some additional hidden mounts under the desk to hide my cables and router gear.
8. Vmware/Cygwin – Allows me to run Linux and use Gnu tools (bash, g++, Emacs, ssh, XWindows) while I’m using Windows. Need both for work and it’s a pain to have two computers.
9. Subaru Outback – So versatile. Use it to carry big stuff from Home Depot, hockey gear, camping gear plus it’s not as big as a SUV and gets better gas mileage.
10. AT&T Uverse – So sad we gave this up for Time-Warner cable. TW only has two pros: slow-motion and it’s cheaper. As soon as our contract is up, we’re going back to UVerse.
11. Hot sauce – Because my list goes all the way to 11 and everything is better with it (PB&J and Sriracha). As you can tell, I keep a variety on hand for every spicing need.
From Polt: What did I love about this week? Freshly laundered bedsheets, still warm from the dryer. Slapping these little slices of heaven right on the bed and then sliding between them, rolling onto your side, pulling the sheet up to your nose and making yourself a little cocoon of warm, comfy, lavender-scented awesomeness is one of life’s greatest pleasures! Next to a night with three Asians with hairthings spent on those sheets. Yeah, that would be better.
From Tam: My new favourite thing is PC Caramelized Red Onion Chutney. At our house we hate mustard and we hate mayonnaise, so sometimes sandwiches are a little dry, but since I discovered this product … *swoon*. The description: With a fusion of English-style malt vinegar and Italian balsamic vinegar of Modena, along with brown sugar, herbs, spices, and slow-cooked caramelized onions, our zesty chutney adds a dash of vibrancy to your dishes. Imported from United Kingdom. Doesn’t that sound yummy? I guess the imported thing explains the price, a bit steep, but worth every cent to liven up my sandwich. I see they use butter in it so it’s not vegan. Sorry Adam.
From Craig: M&Ms – Growing up in my parents house, Mom always kept bowls of red and green M&Ms scattered around the house around Christmas. (For our Canadian readers, M&Ms are like your Smarties but a million and a half times better.) I carried the tradition over to my new place for my first Christmas on my own and it was fantastic. Easy access to M&Ms at all times with no one but myself to eat them? Yes please! Even after the Christmas season ended, and all the red and green M&Ms had made their way through my toilet and into your drinking water, I’ve kept the tradition alive by keeping original M&Ms on my coffee table at all times. Not only are they extremely delicious, but they add a splash of color to my drab earth toney living room!
From Mikey: So there was this thing called the Super Bowl on Sunday. You might have heard of it. Well anyway, before the game aired NBC ran a commercial/promo wishing everyone a Happy Super Bowl. Sure this sounds like typical network TV fare for the most watched event of the year. What made this one amazing was the fact that someone (most likely Tina Fey) got a bunch of the stars of NBC’s shows together to sing and dance to “Brotherhood of Man” from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. The result…magic. And GAY magic, which only happens during Madonna Super Bowls.
From Michelle M.: A federal appeals court ruled against California’s voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage (Prop 8) on Tuesday. Finally.
This week’s runners up: the state of Washington, The premier of Smash, slow cookers, painting bottles, Dance Moms (last weeks competition took place at East Islip High School!), Happy Endings, Archie Panjabi, The River, cat breading and hardcore gay pornography.
I’ve been driving a Honda Fit for the better part of three years. In that time, I’ve waved to nearly every other Honda Fit driver that I’ve passed in my travels. In my mind, it’s a ‘camaraderie’ sort of thing. We are all driving the same car, so why not say a quick hello to each other? A friendly passing wave, that’s all I want. Drivers of other car makes and models do it. Motorcycles do it … even bicyclers do it.
SO WHY WON’T THEY WAVE TO ME?
In three years, I can count on one hand how many return waves I’ve received. My favorite was a lady about six months ago that matched my speed in the lane next to me. With a giant smile, she emphatically waved at me and then pointed to her own car and then to mine. Marveling at fact that we were both driving the same car she… Okay, okay — maybe that lady was crazy. But at least she waved.
Seriously, why won’t they wave to me? Am I detestably ugly? Is it not obvious that we’re driving the same car? Is the average age of a Honda Fit driver too high (and female)? Do people just not do the ‘wave’ thing anymore? What is it? I’m developing a complex! I need to know!! Why do you think people won’t wave to me?!
And while we’re on the topic … have you ever been a car waver? Do people ever wave back?
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll introduce our fighters. We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
AKA / Alias / Nicknames: Flex Kavana, Rocky Maivia, The Rock, The People’s Champion, The Brahma Bull, The Great One Date of Birth: May 2, 1972 (age 39) Place of Birth: Hayward, California Hair Color: Black Current Residence: Los Angeles, CA Relationship Status: Divorced from Dany Garcia with whom he has one daughter: Simone Alexandra Occupations (current and/or past): actor & professional wrestler Height & Weight: 6’4″, 260lb Hobbies: philanthropic efforts, football Favorite Song: (Possibly) You Send Me Awards: 2001 Teen Choice award for “Choice Sleezebag”, various WWF/WWE fight wins Known for: Muscles & Wrestling Catch Phrases: “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?!” Tattoos:various Honor: During a visit to Samoa in July 2004, he was anointed by Head of State Susuga Malietoa Tanumafili II with the chiefly title of ‘Seiuli, Son of Malietoa’ Favorite curse word: “Candy Ass”
Dwayne Douglas Johnson was born in Hayward, California on May 2nd 1972 to Rocky Johnson and Ata Johnson. While growing up, Dwayne traveled around a lot with his parents and watched his father perform in the ring. During his high school years, Dwayne began playing football and he soon received a full scholarship from the University of Miami where he had tremendous success as a football player. In 1995, Dwayne suffered a back injury which cost him a place in the NFL. He then signed a 3 year deal with the Canadian League but left after a year to pursue a career in wrestling. He made his wrestling debut in the USWA under the name Flex Kavanah where he won the tag team championship with Brett Sawyer. In 1996, Dwayne joined the WWE and became Rocky Maivia, later known as The Rock. In 2001, he began his transition into film, with The Mummy Returns. He has since starred in many films, including The Scorpion King, Be Cool, Get Smart, Tooth Fairy, and Fast Five. His secret weapons include: his hulking size and strength (not so secret…), numerous wrestling moves, a tight pair of wrestling Speedos, the ability to constantly refer to himself in the third person, and extensive experience fighting in cages and hitting people with folding chairs.
AKA / Alias / Nicknames: Mush Date of Birth: 9/29/68 Place of Birth: Kennewick, WA Hair Color: Brown Current Residence: An attic Relationship Status: Blessedly single Occupations (current and/or past): Deli waitress; executive secretary; network engineer Height & Weight: 5’4″, 135lbs. Hobbies: Sleeping, reading, drinking coffee Favorite Song:You’re Breakin’ My Heart Awards: Hah! As if. The average don’t win awards. (C&R Note: What about BC&RL2?!) Known for: Being a friendly drunk. Catch Phrases: “Shut the fuck up.” Tattoos: Three Claim to Fame: Can eat Mexican food every day for months on end without ill effects. Secret Weapons: He’s straight and I have tits. Favorite curse word: FUCK
In her own words: “I want to be a veterinarian because I love children. I have no kids and no pets, and everything I own in the whole entire world would fit into the bed of a small pickup. I don’t happen to actually own a pickup, but I do have an old bicycle. It’s red. My aunt gave it to me. I dig it.” Michelle’s secret weapons include a beautiful singing voice that will cause anyone to stop what they’re doing and listen, fiery Mexican food farts, superior IT skills that can save or destroy any computer system, spiked bicycle tires and giant arm muscles.
Who will win in the battle of MUSH vs. ROCK? Will Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson smash Michelle “Mush” Morgan with his giant muscles and wrestling moves? Or will Michelle destroy his computer and run him over with her bicycle? There’s only one rational way to decide which fighter will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to both Michelles for your assistance with this post!
No pork. No seafood. No cheese. No tofu, mayonnaise, yogurt, eggs, horseradish, mustard, mushrooms, etc., etc. I’m a little picky when it comes to food. Harry and I have determined that if I ever had a cooking show it would be called “The Unadventurous Eater.” I’m always on the lookout for new recipes with ingredients that don’t gross me out. So when Adam told me about his Black Beanie Burgers – Mr. Sombrero Approved! I couldn’t wait to try out the recipe. Here it is:
2 15oz cans of black beans, rinsed and drained
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 small onion, minced
2 tsp. Creole seasoning
1/4 cup bread crumbs
1/2 cup flour
1 cup frozen corn
optional: Add some hot pepper seeds or cayenne pepper to give them some extra flavor.
Makes about 10-12 burgers (depending on how big u make your patties).
Mix and smoosh (works best if you use your hands) all ingredients. Form into patties and freeze for a few hours or until they’re fully frozen. If you’re in a big rush, don’t bother freezing them and just throw them on the grill — but they stay together better if you freeze em first.
Cook frozen patty on a George Forman-style grill or frying pan with a little bit of olive oil spray until they brown a bit (maybe 10 minutes? I’ve never really timed it). I liked to squish them a little in the GF grill about 1/2 way through.
Suggested topping: grilled cubanelle or bell peppers, grilled mushrooms, lettuce and a smear of roasted red pepper hummus. Serve on a toasted English muffin instead of a hamburger roll. Mmmm.
When I cook, I like to put on some music. I thought Adam Ant would be appropriate, but I don’t have any on my player, so I put on some Andy Gibb. Adam, Andy, whatever.
Next I had Harry pour me some wine. When I cook, I also like to drink. Harry is having a beer, because as he says, “If you’re not drinking with me, you’re drinking against me.” When Harry is hungry his eyes turn red. And stop looking at our brown lawn. That’s going to be replaced this summer after we tear out the patio.
Here I am enjoying my beloved Beringer’s in a plastic champagne glass. Klassy! I do have fancy wine glasses, but I have to hand wash them and that is just too much for me to deal with. Cheers!
Here are the ingredients. I bought the Creole seasoning especially for this recipe. Speaking of Creole, I just finished watching season 1 and 2 of True Blood. My favorite character is Lafayette! Isn’t he the best? LOVE him!
Exactly! HBO is free for us this weekend, so I get to watch Season 3. By the time you read this I will have had a True Blood pajama marathon! It’s good to be me.
How big is a small onion anyway? The store pretty much has one size. So I just cut it in two and used half.
Doesn’t this look delicious? The smooshing was fun.
Balls! Tee hee. After I flattened them, I froze them for about 2 hours.
If you don’t have a George Foreman grill, I highly recommend one.
Here is Harry assembling his burger. He put everything Adam suggested on his. I skipped the mushrooms, peppers and hummus (I don’t like tahini). Luckily for Harry and for Adam, the hummus was not too garlicky and Harry didn’t have to sleep on the couch. Yay!
Here is the beauty shot. I also made sweet potato fries and steamed some broccoli. So what did we think of Adam’s Beanie Burgers – Mr Sombrero approved!?
*Yes we eat on tv trays. Once again, keeping it Klassy.
They were terrific! I think next time I make them, I’ll put in a little more cayenne pepper. We like it spicy. I might also see what happens if I put in a little less flour. But in all, Adam’s Beanie Burgers – Mr. Sombrero approved! were delicious. They taste great, are easy to make (not much prep work is needed), are super healthy and are very versatile. The next day Harry put one on a tortilla and I had my burger with barbecue sauce, chips and a pickle. I’m going to try one tomorrow with salsa.
*That’s berry flavored iced tea (yuck). I totally had more chips than are in the photo. I didn’t want to look like a pig.
On my peas in a pod scale, I give Adam’s recipe 5 peas in a pod! Thanks Adam!
If you have a recipe for me to try (that doesn’t include any yucky ingredients) send it to me and I’ll make it and rate it next time on “The Unadventurous Eater”!