Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll introduce our fighters. We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
REBECCA BLACK
Date of Birth: June 21, 1997 Place of Birth: Anaheim Hills, CA Residence: With her parents, John Jeffery Black and Georgina Marquez Kelly Relationship Status: Presumably single, possibly dating one of the boys in the video Regional Accent: Californian Auto-Tune Occupation: Singer(?) Favorite Rapper: Patrice Wilson What time do you wake up in the morning: 7AM (gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs) Favorite Breakfast food: cereal Favorite underage driving destination: slow highways with cities in the background, parking lots, parties near trees with rainbow lighting Favorite day of the week to git down on: FRIDAY Do you look forward to the weekend?: we so excited! Which seat can you take? (Front seat or back seat): undecided (“which seat can I taaaaaakeee?”) Favorite curse word: none
Viral (pop?) star, Rebecca Black burst onto the Internet scene in March of 2011 after recording her hit song, Friday. Reportedly costing her mother a whopping $4000, the “vanity release” has since spawned countless spoofs and covers by the cast of Glee, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, The Roots and Taylor Hick, Nick Jonas, Katy Perry, Conan O’Brien and Andy Richter, and Justin Bieber. The video features an excessive use of Auto-Tune, underage driving, a whole lot of “fun, fun fun, fun, partying, partying, yeah!”, a rap interlude by co-producer Patrice Wilson, bad haircuts, a disregard for car safety, and a brace-face named Benni Cinkle. Rebecca’s weapons are numerous and include a convertible driven by minors, rainbow colored party lights, Benni Crinkle bites, and ear shattering Auto-Tuning. It should also be noted that Rebecca may or may not be able to shoot lasers from her sizable mole. Beware!
KRISTEN, “THE KID”
Also known as: Dieter Vonsnizenhauzerkrank (i can’t believe I’m admitting this) Alias: ‘Lil Meezy Date of Birth: May 28 Place of Birth: Ottawa, Canada Residence: With my mom Relationship Status: Mentally dating various celebrities Regional Accent: Canadian, eh? Occupation: Forever Unemployed Height & Weight: Not tall enough & a little too much Favorite Rapper: S-L-I-M S-H-A-D-Y What time do you wake up in the morning: Too early for any human being Favorite Breakfast food: bagels, bagels and more bagels. Favorite underage driving destination: The Bagel Shoppe Favorite day of the week to git down on: THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!! Do you look forward to the weekend?: Only if there’s PARTYING involved Favorite place to party: The Slytherin Common Room Which seat can you take? (Front seat or back seat): Front seat. I demand riding shotgun Favorite curse word: BULLOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daughter of Tam (last week’s C&R Fight Clubwinner), Kristen (more commonly referred to as “The Kid”), hails from Ottawa, Canada. Like your average teen girl, “The Kid” attends school, enjoys riding a pony named Sprinkles, dreams of one day becoming a ballet dancer, and loves watching Jersey Shore(she’s seen every episode!), and The Food Network. Kristen’s favorite movies include Hitchcock’s Rope, Vertigo, Rear Window, and Psycho — so she’s clearly no stranger to murder and intrigue. It may seem like “The Kid” fights in the shadow of her mother’s battle, but don’t be fooled … she shines bright! Her secret weapons include Sprinkles the Pony (who may or may not be rabid), an endless supply of bagels (don’t let the holes fool you, they hurt when they hit you!), The Situation’s abs of steel, Snooki (who may or may not be rabid), and her favorite hockey team: the Pittsburgh Penguins. Don’t mess with Dieter Vonsnizenhauzerkrank!!!
Who will win in the battle of Friday vs. Thursday? Will Rebecca Black ignore her 2,710,134+ YouTube dislikes and Auto-Tune herself all the way to victory? Or will “The Kid” trample her opponent to death with Sprinkles the Pony? We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday at noon for the results!
Thanks to Kristen & Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!
If there is one medium I could not live without, it would most definitely be film. Sure I watch tons of tv and I use the internet constantly, but I’ve gone without both of these things and come out the other side feeling just fine. Movies, however, will be with me where ever I go and whatever I do. I’m also a total snob about them. If I don’t like a movie, I won’t just tell you it was bad. Nope…that’s too mild. I will tell you that it “the film isn’t worth the celluloid it was printed on” or that “the film is like diarrhea: explosive and shitty.” The one thing I can’t do when it comes to movies is tell you my favorite movie. There are too many to choose from and for so many glorious reasons. And that ladies, gentlemen, and Adam is why I’m going to give you a list of ten of my most beloved movies of all time.
Citizen Kane
I know, I know…this is on every film buffs favorite movie list, but it’s there for all there right reasons. A very American story that is well acted, incredibly well written, and ground-breakingly directed. Movies will forever be divided into those that came before Citizen Kane and those that came after. Grand Illusion
Only the French could make me love a war movie. This movie by Jean Renoir is methodical, metered, and memorable, but rather than shocking you with images of violence it tells a simple tale of humanity in the face of the worst war the world had ever seen.
It Happened One Night
You know that whole “meet cute” thing that romcoms try to force? Well this movie practically invented it. Filmmakers have been trying for years to get the chemistry the cast of It Happened One Night had. It doesn’t happen that often.
Annie Hall
I think I might be a younger, gay non-Jewish Woody Allen. That’s probably why I love his movies so much. Or it could be that they are hilarious and witty while commenting on current social values. Yeah…that’s it. And Annie Hall is all that and lot’s great 70s outfits.
Network
Have heard of this thing called reality television? Well, this movie presaged its arrival and what it would mean for the medium of television. Network is an amazing movie because the infotainment argument still exists and in many ways has gotten a lot worse.
Fargo
Minnesota/North Dakota accents, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi and a woodchipper are all you need to know about how awesome this dark comedy is.
Rear Window
I couldn’t leave Hitchcock off of my list and Rear Window earned its spot by being such a damn simple concept that freaks me out everytime I see it. Oh and Grace Kelly ain’t too shabby.
The Apartment
If we learn anything from the tv show Mad Men it is that husbands in the 60s needed a place to take their women on the side. Jack Lemon had just the place until he falls for the boss’s girl. They somehow even manage to make attempted suicide funny.
All About Eve
If you want to make it anywhere in show biz, you must watch this movie. It is an instructional guide for starlets of all shapes, sizes, and genders. It even makes you forget about Bette Davis’s enormous forehead.
Chinatown
Despite what you have heard, Faye Dunaway can act. She did so in this movie and I loved it. This seedy 1930′s set noir about the underbelly of Los Angeles is simply unforgettable.
So there you have my ten favorite movies of all time. Well at least the ten I wrote about today. Tomorrow I might have ten other favorites. Share your all time favorite movies and see if you can get me to add them to my list.
Network
All About Eve
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