Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND TWO! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters. We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
Each week of Round Two, we’ll drop three Round One winners into the ring and see who remains standing after a 24-hour Cocky & Rude Fight Club vote. Today’s contestants are: Tam, “The Kid” and John.
While I may be the senior member of this trifecta, I believe I have some abilities that the others do not. On the one hand, I control the life of said most junior member. Party on Saturday? HAHAHAHA, yeah right. How about cream cheese and tomato sandwiches in your lunch every day for the next term? I have skillz. I may be old, but I’m wiley, I’ve got experience on my side and taking out a rabbit and a teenager easily distracted by cute boys and wedding dresses will be a snap. I have the appropriate Tumblr blogs bookmarked and carrots ready for step one in my plan: distraction. They are going down. -Tam
Do you actually think you’ll win against me? I’m Jack’s smirking revenge. I’m Jack’s cold sweat. Hell, I’m even Jack’s raging bile duct. I’m the all-singing, all dancing crap of this world, but I’m done with this, these are my words now. I’ll pull the rabbit out of the hat and send my mother back home. I spend my nights in a cage and my days at the underground. I’m made of steel and have youth on my side, ’cause I be eating a Triple Big Mac with an extra large fry. Ain’t no body more beast then I, are you even going try and call that a lie? Give me a chance to unleash my world of fury because when you leave the match your vision is gonna be blurry! -”The Kid”
I sense some dissention in the ranks and I am going to exploit that by pitting mom against daughter. Forget the fact that I am taller than both combatants, combined. I am going to first side with the Kid. She can wear that top, she can stay out after midnight, no, she can’t talk to Adam, it will scar her for life. Once Tam is out of the way, I will pick off the Kid! – John
Who will win in the battle of Tam vs. “The Kid” vs. John? There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to Michelle M., Tam, Kristin & John for your assistance with this post!
Wanna play along at home? Do you think you can pick the winners?
Here’s a handy-dandy bracket for you to keep track of Cocky & Rude Fight Club. (Click to enlarge)
Round Two will be made up of six three-way battles. Round Three will be made of two more three-way battles. After that there will be one final round to determine the Cocky & Rude Fight Club Champion! Who do you think will win the whole contest? Pick the winner in the comments! Or if you’re feeling extra-bored today, send us your completed bracket and I’ll post any that I receive on Sunday. …if I receive any.
Once upon a time our favorite butter loving southern belle, Paula Deen, jumped on the back of fellow Food Network star Robert Irvine and a meme was born. I thought it was hilarious and sent in some submissions. They posted six, but some didn’t make it. Sadness! And the premise of some of my submissions popped up much later from other contributors (and looked inferior, might I add). Outrageous! After bitching (and moaning) to Adam about it, he suggested I send them to C&R to post. But Paula Deen Riding Things is so 5 months ago. Instead, here is the ever awesome Tam. Riding things. Enjoy!
Tam goes to the movies: Spidertam! I think I hear banjos, eh? Tam and children’s lit. Where the wild things are… with Tam of course!
Up in the air – with Tam! Two of my favorite ladies! Tam and carrot tops. Did I mention I’m going to see Kathy?? Second row!! SO EXCITED! Unicorn chaser, anyone? Tam and her trusty steeds. The four Tams of the apocalypse Tam’s got a ticket to ride, and she don’t care.
The other day I came across a macabre, yet interesting blog – Dead Man Eating. It features the last meals of prisoners condemned to death. In the event that Mr. M. cheats on me or Adam shares another stupid vagina-hate post, I will most likely be enjoying a last meal of my own.
I’m probably going to be a little depressed and anxious about sitting in Old Sparky, so I’d like to share my last supper with some people who will lift my spirits. Here are some of my favorite comedians who will keep me laughing all the way down that green mile. By the way, I’m going to see the hilarious Kathy Griffin this month! Second row! If you’re not totally jealous, there is something wrong with you.
I gave a ridiculous amount of thought into what I want my last meal to be.
I will start with a couple of Godiva’s milk chocolate caramels, then gnosh on some nuts (macadamia, Brazil and pecans are my favorites). Next, I’ll have a few handfuls of Lay’s potato chips and Tostito’s Hint of Lime chips (aka: the devil’s chips). Oh my god, I love bread and butter! I think the Outback’s bread is deeelicious – I can eat it forever. I’ll be wanting a nice juicy steak, too (suck it Adam. Woohoo! Kathy Griffin!). And french fries – greasy and salty, please. A tomato salad sounds tasty, as does corn on the cob with enough butter to bring Paula Deen to orgasm – gotta make sure to eat my veggies (right, Polt?). Chicken in brandy peppercorn sauce is next on the list, followed by mashed potatoes (food of the gods). I must have some grilled pineapple, too. I’ll wash this all down with fruity cocktails (and keep ‘em coming)! For dessert I’d like a piece chocolate cake with ice cream and a slice of cherry pie. And finally, a wafer thin-mint.
So, what would you like your last meal to be? And with whom would you like to share it? Let me know in the comments!
First we surprised (actually she knew about it in advance) Tam with a Cocky & Rude Fight Club bout for her birthday … and now we’re surprisingher (this one probably isn’t a surprise either) with a WIN! That’s right — the north has won in the battle of Tam vs. Paula Deen! Tam scored 84% with 112 votes and easily defeated Paula Deen, who only scored 16% with 22 votes. This bout clearly ended with a Canadian “Eh?” as everyone’s favorite Southern “Ya’ll”-er went down for the count. I’m guessing that the Dean boys and a few sticks of butter were no match for Tam’s dog sled and a pack of horny M/M boys! Congratulations Tam!
There’s only one way to celebrate Tam’s birthday properly… with another round of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAM!!!
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll introduce our fighters. We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
Alias: Paula Ann Hiers Date of Birth: January 19, 1947 Place of Birth: Albany, Georgia Residence: Wilmington Island, Savannah, Georgia Relationship Status: Married to Michael Anthony Groover; Mother of Jamie and Bobby Deen Regional Accent: Southern Favorite Foods: Butter, Butter & Butter. Occupation: American cook, restaurateur, author, actress and Emmy Award-winning television personality Height & Weight: 5 ft 5 in, 160 lb (source)
With multiple television shows, countless cookbooks, a bi-monthly magazine, an ever-expanding product line and several Southern-style restaurants, Paula Deen is always on the move. Her southern comfort foods often appear both delicious and dangerously unhealthy. Deen’s arsenal includes a never-ending supply of butter and cheese, a large stock of chicken stock, a storehouse full of tastefully colored pots and pans, wooden spoons, rubber spatulas and a few stoneware casserole dishes.
Alias: The Wicked Witch of the North Date of Birth: May 5 Place of Birth: Manitoba, Canada Residence: Ottawa, Canada Relationship Status: Single - thank god; Mother of “The Kid” Regional Accent: None, Canadians don’t have accents Favorite Foods: Poutine, anything with maple syrup on it, Canadian bacon, and Smarties (the Canadian type) Hated Foods: Anything white and creamy (except Brie) Occupation: Government slave Height & Weight: Short & less than an average size bull moose
A blogging, reading, reviewing and tweeting powerhouse, Tam is a beloved Internet friend to many. She’s also a Canadian, which means that by default, she’s extremely nice, enjoys hockey, maple syrup, curling, ends most sentences with ‘eh?’ and rides a dog sled everywhere she goes. Tam’s arsenal includes a troop of hot, nearly naked men (from the pages of her M/M novels), a tube of foul-tasting Vegemite, and an army of sidewalk worms that will squirm at nothing to complete her every command.
Who will win in the battle of (far) North vs. South? Will Paula Deen defeat Tam with her powers of butter and cheese? Or will Tam smother Paula Deen in maple syrup and then let her worms and sled dogs finish her off? We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Will this battle end with an “Eh?” or a “Ya’ll?” Find out Sunday at Noon!
Thanks to Tam & Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!