I was at a loss about what to post, so here’s a rundown of my exciting, fun-filled week.
Monday – It rained. I went grocery shopping, did laundry, ironed and watched The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Tuesday – The digital arts class I wanted to take was closed, so I signed up for painting. Class started today. This is the building it’s in. We didn’t do any painting, just got our materials list. I was relieved I wasn’t the oldest one there.
Wednesday – I drove all over town looking for the supplies on my materials list. After going to four stores I finally had them all.
Thursday – Our car broke down. To the tune of $3,000. This is the rental car we’re using. In class we painted a still life of ugly bottles. We were only allowed to use burnt umber, so I ended up with an ugly brown painting of ugly bottles.
That night we went out for dinner. I had a glass of Chardonnay. The menu described it as having notes of pear, lime zest, butterscotch, honey and vanilla – none of which I could taste (wine always tastes like wine to me). Harry had a beer.
Friday – I gave blood. I wanted to have Nutter Butters, but I’m doing the non- gluten thing and had a Rice Krispie treat instead. Afterwards, we went to Wendy’s because I was craving chicken nuggets. I blame Mikey.
Saturday – I got my hair did. At least one day a month my hair does not look like a big frizzy mess. We went to Islands for dinner where I had a lovely (and potent) Mai Tai. Harry had a beer.
Sunday – We went to Las Olas for dinner (Harry had 2 beers). This is the view across the street. I love California.
Then we went to the used record store and Pizza Port for a drink. I had a hard apple cider. Harry had 2 additional beers. We rounded out the night by going to the pet store and buying a new toy for Cooper. Then I kept Adam awake ’til all hours finishing up this post.
How was your week? Was it as amazing as mine? Let me know in comments!
This week the California lottery mega millions jackpot was $116,000,000. It dawned on me that if I won, I could do some holiday shopping for my bloggy friends. So after some careful consideration I made out my ChristmasHanukkahKwanzaaWhatever list. So keep your fingers crossed that I win* and you just might find the following under your treemenorahmkekawhatever. And because there’s a slight chance I might not win, I came up with some alternative gift choices to give you.**
(Click to enlarge any of the photos)
For Tam – A luxury yacht to go island hopping and a membership to the Man of the Month club.
But if I don’t win she’ll have to settle for a toy boat and a framed photo of Polt’s ass.
For Jere – Marvel Entertainment. And I’ll throw in DC for good measure. Maybe he can do something about a Wonder Woman movie…
If I don’t win, he’ll have to stick to lawyering, so a booze hiding law book might come in handy.
For Craig – a centipede-free mansion in San Diego, so he can hang out with me (all the time)!
But the odds aren’t good, so a can of bug spray and some ear guards will have to do.
For Paul, a starring role in the upcoming Star Trek film and one of those back end movie deals where he makes mega-bucks.
But should I not win the jackpot, an Enterprise scratching post for Whitey will have to suffice.
For Ryan, I will pay off his student loans. He will also get one of these nifty cupcake cars and a lifetime supply of gas.
But if I remain a big old loser, he’s going to have to make do with this cheery little painting.
For my darling VUBOQ, a house with a pottery studio, a fully stocked walk in closet and all the gin his liver can take.
But if I don’t win, he’s getting a sparkly shoe and a jar of olives.
Lucky Mel will finally get to make lopapeysu all day in his Iceland dream house.
Unless I lose. Then he gets ice cubes and a ball of yarn.
Heather and TwoPi both like math, which is completely crazy. So I’m going to set them up with lifetime psychiatric therapy.
But if I don’t win, they will receive Godzilla pajamas, slippers and a toy city they can take turns destroying.
Adam will also get a house in San Diego and will finally find a Lexus with a big red bow in his driveway.
If I don’t have the winning numbers, though, he’ll receive a boob mug and a copy of The Vagina Monologues.
Mikey gets a wine shop. And a cheese shop.
Unless I lose. Then he gets a box of wine and a 99 cent bag of Cheetos.
For Polt, a purple palace filled with Asians with hairthings.
If I don’t win, our favorite stalker gets a fake nose and glasses and a pair of binoculars instead.
For my favorite duo, Joshrico, I’d buy penthouses and limos. Fame, fortune and the paparazzi are sure to follow.
But if I’m not the next lottery winner, I might be able to pay this guy to follow them around for an hour with his camera.
There’s always that one person on your list you have no idea what to get. For me, it’s M. Nico.
He’ll just have to settle for a gift card from Amazon.
Unless I don’t win. Then he gets fruitcake.
Mush gets a mansion, her own record label (I quite like the name “Mushtones”) and a kick ass tour bus so she can tour the country (and visit me, of course).
But if megamillions are not in my stars, she’ll be unwrapping Mr. Microphone.
Fdot watches a lot of movies, so he’ll need a mansion with a state of the art, luxury home theater.
If I lose, he’ll receive Jiffy pop and a DVD of the “best worst movie ever made” Troll 2. Featuring such classic scenes as the following:
Chris D. is excited by space, so I’ll send him there in his very own rocket.
If someone else wins my money he can pretend to be in orbit with these stick on ceiling stars.
David P. will get the VIP treatment with front row seats to any play/musical in the world. Free meals at any restaurant included.
Life does not always (or ever!) go my way though, so David can put on his own shows with these nifty finger puppets and afterward have dinner at McDonald’s.
Justin loves maple. So he will get one of those fancy million dollar log cabins in the middle of a maple tree forest.
Unless my numbers are off. Then he gets a bottle of imitation maple syrup.
I would pay all of john’s bills and buy him a house and an art gallery so he could quit his stupid job and concentrate on his art.
If I don’t win, a big bag of rabbit chow is just the ticket.
I would buy the Kid the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Or a Sidney Crosby bobblehead (if I’m doomed to a life as a non millionaire).
David G. is getting a first class ticket to Hollywood and his own studio. Those zombie screenplays of his will finally be up on the silver screen for me to enjoy.
But should I lose, here’s a t-shirt.
Nathan will get a private jet to fly him around the world.
Or this book of paper airplanes. Not winning the lottery sucks.
Ty will get that $250,000 Jeopardy money he should have gotten in the tournament of Champions.
But if I don’t win, a ceramic Dalmatian from the Old School Wheel of Fortune is just as good.
Mr. Sombrero already has Adam, so obviously he doesn’t need anything else.
I do have a lot of peanut butter left over from the taste test, though…
If I forgot anyone, let me know in the comments, and I’ll find a regift in the garage for you.
So, hopefully, I will be the next megamillionaire, but know that if I’m not I’ll be wishing you all health, love and happiness in the New Year and always.
*It might help if I bought a lottery ticket.
**Just kidding, I’m not getting you anything at all.
Last month I announced that one lucky C&R reader would win 100 GRAND*! That’s right —
100 GRAND*! Woohoo! To win, all you had to do was submit a photo of the
ugliest thing that you own. Behold, the submissions (click to enlarge):
Art: A small art print that freaks the hell out of anyone that sees it as evidenced
by the continuous inquiries of “What the hell is that?”
Chair: This chair with green and gold eagles on white upholstery is
perfect example of mid ’70s interior decor!
Flower: This is a Calla lily that I bought for Thanksgiving.
Clearly you can tell that it is no longer in peak condition.
Light bulb: Neon-orange creepy-looking incandescent light bulb that screams
mid ’90s German-techno-punk-just-rolled-off-of-Bjork-music-video-set-sex-toy.
Puppy: 21″ tall ceramic white poodle with a plastic jewel encrusted collar.
It sits next to my front door, which it guards with its fluffy ferocity.
Purse: I was in the local drug store when the purse caught my eye.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was hideous. I had to buy it.
T-Shirt: That is a whoooole lot of ugly. Except Kari.
Now it’s up to you to decide who wins. The poll will remain open until Friday around noon. One vote per IP address. Winner will be announced Sunday, prize will be mailed within 3 months of announcement. Good luck / Thank you / Congratulations / Whatevah!
*100 Grand refers to a single, standard size 100 Grand candy bar.
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My week.
Monday
Harry had hockey, so Cooper and I watched The Muppets. My favorite muppet is Floyd. He’s so cool and laid back – the opposite of me! Cooper’s favorite muppet was the little girl giving Walter the side-eye. Cooper is also a big Chris Cooper fan.
Did I have a soda, candy and popcorn while watching the movie? No. I had celery sticks, apple sauce and water.
Tuesday
I checked in on the roses. After finally getting rid of whatever was eating holes in the leaves, our five rose bushes came down with powdery mildew. And just when they were looking so healthy and lush and were starting to bloom. I had to cut them all back. Boo.
I did my ironing. I hate ironing. Here is a shirt that is supposed to be “no iron”. Grrrr.
Wednesday
Wednesday we got in the car and headed to Temecula‘s wine country (about an hour north of us). Last year Harry gave me a horseback ride and wine tasting lunch for my birthday. We finally got around to doing it. My horse’s name was Rusty and Harry’s was Quincy. It was super hot, and my horse kept fighting me to be in front of the guide, but it was fun!
After our ride we went to Wilson Creek Winery for our wine tasting. Woo hoo!
Then we had lunch. The restaurant was outdoors. They had misters which was lovely on such a hot day. The rolls had cheese on them (yuck), but the crackers were pretty good. I had a (steak) salad.
Thursday
Thursday was the last day of my painting class. Some of the students brought in snacks. One of them brought chocolate cupcakes. I took one because it would have been rude of me to refuse.
Here is the painting I’ve been working on. It’s Franz Marc‘s Red Horses. It’s a little off because the dimensions of my canvas are different from the original. And I still have a lot yet to do. I’m the queen of unfinished projects, but hopefully I’ll keep working on it.
Friday
After dinner at a Mexican restaurant with friends (I had 2 daiquiris, peach and strawberry), Harry and I decided to go to the local dive bar to drink some more. He had beer and some kind of cinnamon shot thing. I had 2 rum and cokes. They have a neat jukebox with bajillions of songs.
We killed zombies, played air hockey (Harry won) and pool (Harry won – maybe it’s because I played this way…).
Saturday
We went to our local farmer’s market. We got some fresh, organic California strawberries.
Then we took the car in to Pep Boys because the air conditioner broke. This would be their second go round trying to fix it (this isn’t our first experience having to bring the car back for a re-repair). After we got there they told us to bring it back another day (after just telling us on the phone to bring it in). After we get it fixed we shall never, ever return. Manny, Mo and Jack can suck it.
We decided to have lunch in Hillcrest. We went to Freebirds World Burrito. It’s kinda like Chipotle, but with more options. Check out my huge burrito:
We sat outside and guess what music was playing? “Black Betty”. I kid you not. Also, I totally didn’t have a brownie or cookie. Willpower!
On the way home we saw this bar. It reminded me of Adam.
Sunday
I didn’t do much. I can’t find my brand of shampoo anywhere anymore, so I used this brand for the first time. It smells like flowers and fruit salad.
I also read, played on the computer and watched tv. Then I worked on Cooper’s exciting post for Monday.
Check out Cooper’s Corner for a very important announcement: http://cooperscorner.info/
So how was your weekend? And who is your favorite muppet? Let me know in comments!
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