Tag Archives: obnoxious

What I Don’t Like About You

Last week I listed 20 television characters I love. That means this week it’s time to list 20 characters I hate. And not “love to hate” like Pete Campbell from Mad Men or Ben from Lost. These are characters that I find annoying, lame, whiny, stupid or all of the above. It may be the way the actors are portraying them, or just the way the characters are written. Or maybe it’s the actor himself/herself. Whatever it is, they’re obnoxious and unwatchable.

Annie Romano from One Day At A Time. Overact much? YES!

Phil from Modern Family. He’s way too clownish and dopey.

Debra Messing as Grace and Molly and Julia and any other character she’s played. She is truly awful. She just seems so self aware. Another overactor.

Ivy from 90210. She’s so flat, mopey and morose. ALL the time.

Ross from Friends. What a drip.

Elmo. It’s the voice. It’s like nails on a chalkboard.

Angela Chase from My So Called Life. The angst, the awkwardness, the hair tucking behind the ear, the flannel shirts, the always hugging herself and saying “like” every other word. And how many Jordans are in your school anyway? Can’t you refer to Jordan by his first name only?

Clare Edwards from Degrassi. I’m not sure why I can’t stand Clare. Maybe it’s because she’s a drama queen. Or that she looks like a middle-aged woman in those awful school uniforms. I just know she bugs me.

Kramer from Seinfeld (sorry, Tam). Too weird, too slapsticky. Not my cup of tea.

Jennifer Love Hewitt as anyone in anything. It all started with her character on Party of Five. All that “cutesy” acting and the going around with her sleeves pulled over her hands drove me nuts. Cleavage + acting cutesy = bad actress!

Will Schuester on Glee. He’s so smarmy. And waaaay too into the Glee kids. I might hate him more than Sue Sylvester does.

Hope on Thirtysomething. Never happy. What a wet blanket.

Annie Camden from 7th Heaven. She always seemed so annoyed and kind of bitchy- with a little bit of Church lady thrown in for good measure.

Ally McBeal. Ugh. I couldn’t even make it through one episode.

Susan from Desperate Housewives. I detest her “adorable klutzy” schtick.

Dawn Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Whiny, petulant and useless.

Smurfette. That voice. I can’t smurfing stand it.

Ellis from Smash. He’s such a sneaky little weasel. And not in a fun way.

Declan Porter from Reven8e. His hair is way too big for his body. I call him the human Q-tip. He’s useless as far as I’m concerned. Every time he appears I want to shake my fist at the television (you called it, Craig).

Lori from The Walking Dead. She thinks all the women should be cookin’ and doing laundry – not kicking zombie butt. And she can’t even keep track of her own kid. Or drive!

So which characters make you want to throw something at the screen? Let me know in comments!

About these ads

10 Things To Do When The Power Goes Out

A few weeks ago there were a few power transformer fires and failures in my area of New Jersey.  As a result, myself and the residents of my neighborhood were faced with some time without our beloved electricity.  These outages meant that we didn’t have TV, Internet, lights, refrigerators … any of the modern conveniences that civilized human beings have grown accustomed to.  So what is there to do when the power goes out?  Here’s 10 helpful suggestions…

1. Wait it out. The power is bound to come back soon.  Try staring at a light bulb until it turns back on, repeatedly hitting the power button on your television’s remote control, or perhaps flipping a light switch up and down until to works.

2. Spend time with others. Instead of just waiting for the power to come back, why not spend time waiting with someone else?  Have a conversation, play a game, tell stories … pay some face-time now so you don’t have to waste precious Internet time when the power comes back.

3. Read. Sick of all the together-time?  Then how about some alone time?  Grab that novel that you’ve always wanted to read, or that stack of magazines that you haven’t gotten to yet.  Find a sunny window or bright candle and read.

4. Let the batteries run out. Sick of reading?  Then power up your cell phone, laptop computer or iPod and enjoy your electronics until the batteries run out.  You’ve probably got a few hours of juice left.

5. Organize and clean. This option is kind of a bummer, so you might as well just skip it.

6. Have Sex.  Why clean when you can make a mess and squirt your bodily fluids all over a willing participant?  You don’t need to have the lights on to have sex … sometimes it’s even better when you can’t see your partner.

7. Masturbate. If you’re not lucky enough to have sex with a mate or willing neighbor, then why not your hand?  Granted, you’ll have to use your imagination or old-fashioned pornography (magazines) to get excited…  Oh, and don’t forget — vibrators usually run on batteries.

8. Eat. When you’re done with sexitime (or self-sexitime), why not chow down on all that melting food in the fridge?  Start with the junk food in the freezer (ice cream), and work your way through your cold storage.  After all, it’s all just going to spoil anyway.

9. Get Drunk. Finished with the fridge?  Head to the liquor cabinet next.  The power has probably been out for hours now … so why not just drink the darkness away?

10. Go to sleep. You’re stuffed to the gills and completely drunk.  Just go to sleep.  Maybe the power will be back on when you wake up.  If not?  Then just repeat the process.

Have You Ever… Been A Douche?!

I have a theory: douche-bags don’t read Cocky & Rude.  It’s just a theory — but I want to be sure.  Here at Cocky & Rude, we accept all readers and if you’re a douche-bag, we’ll still love you!  You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever had a fake tan?
2. Have you ever sported highly stylized facial hair?
3. Have you ever put way too much gel in your hair?
4. Have you ever had frosted tips?
5. Have you ever worn bling?
6. Have you ever worn ridiculous looking sunglasses?
7. Have you ever worn your sunglasses indoors?
8. Have you ever popped your collar?
9. Have you ever worn a baseball hat with the brim to the side?
10. Have you ever worn a wife-beater as a shirt?
11. Have you ever kept a bluetooth headset on your ear for most of the day?
12. Have you ever spent all your time at the gym?
13. Have you ever had giant, ridiculous muscles?
14. Have you ever driven a ridiculous, tricked-out car?
15. Have you ever been a fratboy?
16. Have you ever littered?
17. Have you ever called a waitress or hostess a “sweetheart”?
18. Have you ever behaved obnoxiously in public?
19. Have you ever been called an egomaniac?
20. Have you ever thought that you were God’s gift to the human race?
21. Have you ever abused your girlfriend or boyfriend?
22. Have you ever considered “GTL” a way of life?
23. Have you ever appeared in an episode of Jersey Shore?
24. Have you ever seen your own photo on hotchickswithdouchebags.com?
25. Have you ever been filled with liquid and used to cleanse a horribly dirty vagina or rectum?

Now tell us the truth!  We’ll still love you!  Are you a douche?

%d bloggers like this: