Recently the C&Rmy was asked to take a compatibility quiz. After compiling and scrutinizing the data (aka, giving it Harry and making him figure out the percentages), the results were in. Here are your best and worst matches. Love is in the air, so if you need to, dump your significant other, fly across the country, destroy your competition and get ready to woo your true love!
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND TWO! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters. We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
Each week of Round Two, we’ll drop three Round One winners into the ring and see who remains standing after a 24-hour Cocky & Rude Fight Club vote. Today’s contestants are: Ryan, Chris D. & Adam!
On July 28th, Ryan With A Cupcake (a.k.a. Ryan Sans Cupcake, look at those abs!) faced off against his mortal enemy: The Muffin Man. In the battle of cupcake vs. muffin, Ryan managed to defeat his opponent with a staggering 99% of the popular vote.
Adam and Chris are going down. I’ve already crushed Adam in the Biggest Cock and Rudest Loser contest by losing more than twice as much weight as he did. As soon as the bell rings, he will piss his pants and then be too distracted trying to figure out what the puddle looks like to defend himself. Meanwhile, Chris is just too nice to win. He only won last time because Mr. Rogers out-niced his ass. Of course, the real reason to vote for me is to get me to show of the clothes I bought last weekend. -Ryan
The following week, the eternally nice Chris D. went up against the deceased nice, Mister Rogers. But everyone’s favorite cardigan sweater-wearing nice guy was no match for Chris D.’s power of … life. Chris D. defeated Mister Rogers with an impressive 88% of the popular vote.
I am going to beat Adam because if Adam wins, he will be dogged by rumors that this whole thing was rigged for decades. Would you seriously want to do that to poor sweet Adam? Vote for me, for Adam’s sake! Ryan could be a bit of a challenge. He is more popular than me, he is probably cooler than me, and lately he’s looking quite fit… BUT I’m the underdog! And if there is one thing that we believe in, it is the ability of the quirky underdog to triumph over insurmountable odds! So vote for me, because I am less popular, and less cool than Ryan! -Chris D.
Our final C&R Fight Club Round One match pitted Adam against the overweight, immature, spoiled, outspoken, lazy, foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, racist, sexist, anti-semitic, sociopathic, and narcissistic Eric Cartman. In the end, all of those adjectives were no match for Adam, who defeated Eric Cartman with 84% of the popular vote. -Adam
Seriously? This is my blog. Do you think that Chris D. and Ryan can beat me? Those two are nothing compared to me! Do you hear me? NOTHING! My time is better spent illustrating tweets, photographing piss puddles and coming up with creative ways to use the photo of Polt’s ass in new and exciting ways. Now vote me for. NOW!
Who will win in the battle of Ryan vs. Chris D. vs. Adam? There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to Michelle M., Ryan & Chris D. for your assistance with this post!
What was Craig thinking?! Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Submit your potential What Were They Thinking?! photos to: cockyandrudedotcom@gmail.com
On last week’s Have You Ever… Been A Big Huge Freak’n Nerd?! quiz, Josh commented, “if this was based on being a music n3rd, I would totez have answered yes to all!” So we at C&R invited Josh and Enrico to write such a quiz. The rules are simple. For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments section.
Have You Ever… Been A Big Music N3rd?
By Joshrico of Josh Is Trashy and Hotel Tuesday.
1. Have you ever purchased a cassette?
2. Have you ever purchased a CD?
3. Have you ever purchased a record?
4. Have you ever purchased a cassette/CD/record the day it came out?
5. Have you ever purchased an mp3 player?
6. Have you ever requested a song at a club/bar?
7. Have you ever been to a concert?
8. Have you ever sang a song live for an audience?
9. Do you know all the words to at least 10 songs?
10. Do you know all the words to at least 50 songs?
11. Can you read sheet music?
12. Have you ever played a complete song on a musical instrument?
13. Have you ever learned how to play a musical instrument just because you wanted to play a song you really love?
14. Have you ever taken a lesson in vocal or instrument training?
15. Have you ever done a vocal audition?
16. Have you ever watched American Idol?
17. Have you ever checked the Billboard Hot 100 on Thursday morning?
18. Can you name at least 10 songs that have reached #1 on the Billboard Hot 100?
19. Can you name at least 5 of the 20 best-selling albums of all time?
20. Have you ever watched the GRAMMY Awards?
21. Have you ever had a GRAMMY Award party?
22. Have you ever danced to a song when no one was looking?
23. Have you ever woken up early to hear a song debut on the radio?
24. Have you ever used lyrics as a status message/away message?
25. Have you listened to sad love songs and cried because you were single and/or unloveable?
Sing us your total in the comments!
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Have You Ever… Annoyed Craig?
You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever not read all of the Harry Potter books?
8. Have you ever not watched an obscene amount of television?
16. Have you ever shaved your chest?
24. Have you ever made extravagant birthday plans for your own birthday and expected all your friends to blindly and inconveniently participate?
2. Have you ever not watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies?
3. Have you ever not watched any of the Star Wars movies?
4. Have you ever bragged about never watching the Star Wars movies?
5. Have you ever said that a movie is never as good as the book?
6. Have you ever not had a favorite book?
7. Have you ever put “magazines” in the favorite book portion of an online dating profile?
9. Have you ever owned a non-iPod .mp3 player?
10. Have you ever cheated while playing an online Scrabble/Words with friends?
11. Have you ever wanted to talk to Craig on the telephone?
12. Have you ever used FourSquare or GetGlue?
13. Have you ever left sexuality-revealing comments on a Facebook page?
14. Have you ever corrected grammar rather than commenting on the content of a blog post?
15. Have you ever (as an adult) used a screen name instead of an abbreviation of your real name in an email address?
17. Have you ever paid a cashier with a personal check?
18. Have you ever been a moving box/bag that needed to be unpacked?
19. Have you ever not used a signal light when driving?
20. Have you ever spent 5 minutes holding up traffic in order to make a left onto a busy street rather than just making a right and turning around?
21. Have you ever thought that everyone is just out to bring you down?
22. Have you ever not believed in evolution?
23. Have you ever blindly followed your political party?
25. Have you ever named your blog something annoyingly not safe for work and caused readers to freak out every time they go to your site at work?
So how’d you do? Will Craig kick you out of the Puntabugang? Tell us your score in the comments!
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