Tag Archives: monkey

NSFW: Have You Ever… ?!

Did you know that May is National Masturbation Month? I didn’t either … but Tam told me! Before you go celebrate … how about a quick Have You Ever Quiz?

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever… Masturbated?!

1. Have you ever masturbated?
2. Have you never masturbated?
3. Have you ever masturbated while looking at pornography?
4. Have you ever masturbated while looking at National Geographic magazine?
5. Have you ever masturbated in front of a computer?
6. Have you ever masturbated while watching the news?
7. Have you ever masturbated in a shower?
8. Have you ever masturbated in a bathroom?
9. Have you ever masturbated in a bed?
10. Have you ever masturbated in a bath tub?
11. Have you ever masturbated in a kitchen?
12. Have you ever masturbated in public restroom?
13. Have you ever masturbated in a car?
14. Have you ever masturbated into a sock (or other article of clothing)?
15. Have you ever masturbated into a toilet?
16. Have you ever masturbated into a tissue or paper towel?
17. Have you ever masturbated while using a sex toy?
18. Have you ever masturbated in a moving vehicle?
19. Have you ever masturbated while at work?
20. Have you ever masturbated in a movie theater?
21. Have you ever masturbated at a strip club (or similar location)?
22. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
23. Have you ever masturbated with or in front of another person?
24. Have you ever masturbated with or in front of 2+ people?
25. Have you ever masturbated in your neighbor’s shed?

Now finish spanking your monkey and tell us the total in the comments!


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The Cocky & Rude Compatibility Quiz


Recently the C&Rmy was asked to take a compatibility quiz. After compiling and scrutinizing the data (aka, giving it Harry and making him figure out the percentages), the results were in. Here are your best and worst matches. Love is in the air, so if you need to, dump your significant other, fly across the country, destroy your competition and get ready to woo your true love!
























Happy Valentine’s Day!

10 Things To Aim At While You’re Taking A Piss (NSFW)

Broken Picture Telephone – Round Two

A long time ago on a blog very much like this one, I started a bunch of games of Broken Picture Telephone. Through my neglect it took forever to get the second round of this game to come to a close. My apologies for the delay, but I truly feel it was well worth the wait.  Want a closer look?  Click each image to see it at its full resolution.

Alice was shocked when the water balloon burst in her face – Mikey

Josh's artwork

An evil clown and the monkey riding on his head broke a balloon which frightened the teenage girl and made her drop her lollypop. -Tam

Adam's artwork

“As Tam was strolling topless through Ottawa’s Thanksgiving Day street festivities, an evil clown and his monkey sidekick appeared to pop her balloon, also causing her to drop her lollipop.” – Mel

Michelle's Art

“Overt displays of American patriotism are grotesque, militaristic, jingoistic, pretentious, often sexually puerile, overuse images of children and anthropomorphic animals, and slather on a forced festiveness that leaves me cold,” said Tam, as she hurried to the candy store to get more lollipops. – David

Kristen "the Kid" 's Art

“Canadians complain that while $5 CA can only buy a lollipop, the U.S.A. basically says to them, “Fuck You, our $5 US can do anything from funding the Olympic Women’s Gymnastics team, help influence a Congressmen’s vote on arms control, or even act as a gratuity for a breakdancing street performer. Suck on that Ottawa, eh?” – FDot

Craig's Art

“Being super-polite, the Canadian had to ask if it was okay to eat his lollipop. So, knowing that Americans only really liked guns, balloons, chicks with wide open legs and breakdancing, Abe gave the finger to the Canadians and told him to fuck off and “suck it”!” – Polt

Enrico's Art

We are insane. What we have done to Tam alone could land us in court for defamation of character. I apologize to Tam (as did many of the artists who worked on that Tam phase). I hope you have enjoyed our second game.

Finally, a Really Manic Monday!

There are just so many random thoughts running through my mind! It must finally be a Manic Monday!

Did you miss me? Did you EVEN know that I didn’t blog all week? I don’t think you did. That makes me sad face.

Is anyone getting super excited for the return of Doctor Who on Christmas day? It is going to be the best Christmas present ever.

Ok, well what about Rainbow Poo? Are you excited for his return yet? Only one and a half weeks have passed and I am going through some serious withdrawal.

Does anyone else hear that banging? Really, who keeps dropping that damn bowling ball on the floor above me? Ack!

I am counting down to the next Cocky Awards presentation! Who is going to win Best Commenter? When will we find out that Adam is the recipient of the transgender ginger of the year award? I’m guessing next week.

Did you know the Today Show used to have a monkey on it? It hasn’t been the same since, but nothing really survives a de-monkeying especially an NBC show.

This post has proven too draining for me after my hiatus, especially since the majority of you didn’t even realize I was gone. Please comment or my ego will be further damaged.

…And check back at Noon for the second in our series of Reader’s Choice Cocky Awards Ballots!

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