Tag Archives: Miley Cyrus

Happy Birthday Michelle M.!

Today is a very special day … it’s Michelle M.’s Birthday!
From all of your friends, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


A Limerick:

We all know her as Michelle M.
We think her to be quite the gem.
But I have been told
She’s getting quite old,
So it’s time to start calling her “ma’am.”

- Jere



Wishing you a mouth-watering birthday!
-David P.





-Tam


Happy Birthday to one of my favorite people ever, Cooper’s mom and Wonder Women fan….
Michelle M.!!!! I hope you have the most awesome Birthday ever because you deserve it!!
xoxo
– TJ and the doggies (Cooper’s Compadres)



Happy Birthday! From X-Heather and TwoPi


A Haiku About Michelle

The best in our books
Happy Birthday To Michelle
Hail Wonder Woman

- Kristen



Ode to Her Awesomeness
By Craig

What could one possibly say,
About the delectable Michelle M?
If she were a dessert,
She’d be la crème de la crème.

She lives in California,
All the way on the West Coast.
She’s the Cocky & Rude writer,
That us readers love the most.

She never met a head,
She couldn’t put on another body.
Don’t let her sweet looks fool you,
For her mouth is quite a potty.

With those flowing golden locks,
Like a superhero’s cape.
It begs that age old question,
Does the carpet match the drapes?

Her husband is a sexy beast,
Who likes pizza and canned beer.
There’s not a single gay around,
Who doesn’t wish that he was queer.

Wonder Woman is her idol,
And Cooper is her bird.
I don’t know who she loves most,
But Harry’s definitely in third.

So today is her birthday,
Hope she have lots of fun.
Happy Birthday Michelle M!
Congrats on turning twenty one!


Dear Michelle,
I heard it was your birthday so I wanted to send you a short note. I hope you have a wonderful day and that you don’t divorce your husband so you can marry a politician and then your ex marries a skinny little waif and then you can’t stop eating because you hate your life and you are fighting with your kids and your mother-in-law thinks you are useless and then you become the fattest woman in Westchester and then you can’t wear any of your clothes and then you feel so worried that you will eat up all your kids and then you will worry that Gene might be too small and gamey to be palatable and then your daughter hates you because you want to go skiing and she goes to her dad’s and get’s her period and then she comes back to you and whines and you are thinking “hurry up and have a baby so I can eat it.” Can I eat your cake?
Love, Fat Betty


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
From Mikey & Ty


Happy birthday to the most creative, talented, elfin proportioned person I know!
Happy Birthday Michelle!
Have a great day and best wishes for the coming year! -John


Ok, I know that Harry and Craiggers are gonna get real jealous here, but I got only one question for Michelle M.:

I Wonder Woman, are you my kinda woman?
Wit a back like that you fly like jets
Are you my Wonder Woman?

te quiero,
mr. sombrero


Happy Birthday Michelle M.!!! I decided to celebrate your birthday by mixing
my two favorite things: you, and my favorite albums!!! -Enrico



HAPPY BIRTHDAY

MICHELLE!!!!


About these ads

Bloggy Gift Exchange 2011!

This year’s Bloggy Gift Exchange featured 25 bloggy friends, 24 awesome gifts, 2 countries, lots of smiles, lots of sugar, a few tears, a pack of Magnum condoms, and tons and tons more. Thanks to everyone for making this year’s gift exchange a huge success! We’re truly a classy bunch, and here’s the proof:


To: Mush
From: Nathan

…here’s my awesome nerdy gifts from bassoonist Nathan! Yay! It’s a virulent rabies plush and a sciency Doctor Who disappearing TARDIS mug! This photo image came out just the way I wanted it. YES THAT’S RABIES ON MY HEAD AND I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU. COFFEE? SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM? RAAAAAAAAAAAABIEEEEEES!


To: Polt
From: Tam

Tam had my name and she sent me a book about the quirks and histories of comic books and also a Dallas Cowboys garden gnome. Only thing that coulda made the gift better was to have it delivered by a Speedo-clad Asian Twinkie with a hairthing. This is the photo of me enjoying them both. HUGS…


To: Adam
From: Polt

Santa Polt (and his award-winning ass) sent me a box full of the world’s two best things: plaid and purple. Thanks to Polt, I can be cozy and formal with this super-warm hat and fantastic tie. I plan to wear them both as I spend many hours each night drawing pictures of Craig getting peed on or amassing enormous lists of blog post tags. Maybe this tie will help me land a great new high-paying job in the new year? I’m totally going to wear them both on my lumberjack interview next week! Fingers crossed that it pays well!


To: Mikey
From: FDot

FDot sent me this amazing life size TARDIS. Along with my dancing monkey fez, I think I make a very convincing Doctor. I also think I should use my TARDIS to go back in time and prevent myself from eating whatever it is that made me look so fat in this photo. I honestly do not care if doing so destroys the fabric of time.


To: Ty
From: VUBOQ

VUBOQ made me a beautiful mug and bowl. He also got me TWO varieties of Reese’s. I could only assume he wanted me to use it all to make a nutritious holiday breakfast.


To: Craig
From: Ty


My gift from Ty was titled Craig’s Sex-Mas Adventure! It was a three step process. First I was told that the clothes make the man, so he gave me this shirt and told me to put it on, then peel it off sexily. then he told me to spritz myself with cologne and dream of Cumming (Alan, that is), and finally I was taught that chocolate is a well known aphrodisiac and to sample these delicious chocolates to get in the mood. Once I finished the chocolates I was met with a horrific sight too reprehensible for words and I lost my hard-on immediately. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get it up again. Merry Christmas to me, I guess.


To: Mel
From: Ryan


I got a phenomenally well-packed box from Ryan consisting of two types of cookies and a Christmas mix CD. The cookies were all painstakingly wrapped to arrive intact. I was singularly impressed, even though I’d have happily eaten crumbs.


To: Tam
From: Mr. Sombrero


My bloggy gift came from the wonderful Mr. Sombrero in “Jersey”. It was full of all kind of delightful things to eat from many different places. There was cherry jam from Croatia (which I ate on my bagel Christmas morning and it was delish), French cookies, British tea, chocolate from lots of place including some kind of potato chocolate thing from Idaho. 0_0 Chocolate poker chips and chocolate from Dylans, a gingerbread cookie that looks like a NYC cab, and a lolly with my initial on it. Now that I’ve taken the picture I’m looking forward to trying them all. Thanks so much for the fun foods, none of which I’ve tried before.


To: Kristen “The Kid”
From: Talita


So Talita was my secret Santa which was wonderful because everything she gave me was perfect! Included in my “care package” was two perfectly scented candles (cranberry pear Bellini and candied sugar plum), some nail polish, peppermint foot cream from Lush, spider man head phones (which I squealed over they were wonderful), some hot chocolate, tea, soap, some lip products and a cookie! It was wonderful, I love everything so much :D


To: Jere
From: David P.


Here are photos of my gifts from David P. I would post pictures of myself enjoying the gifts like the booze and condoms (and I did enjoy them – I’ve been a naughty boy this holiday), but I’m afraid that you would use it as often as you use that picture of Polt’s ass. Sorry. The comic book magnet has a wonder woman costume malfunction joke that’s lost on me, but the chocolate covered stuff was yummy.

Note: the post-its in the photo are – alcohol: “because you like BOOZE”; chocolate: “because you like things covered in CHOCOLATE”; magnet – “because you are a comic book GEEK”; condoms – “because you have big FEET”


To: Michelle M.
From: Mikey


My gift came from Mikey. He sent two BIG bags of cookies, and a whole bunch of Hershey’s kisses. They were delicious and didn’t last long. And I should get major points for sharing with Harry. I also received these amazing Wonder Woman socks (complete with capes), perfect for fighting crime, reading in bed, attending a live action Wonder Woman movie, etc. I love(d) all my gifts – Thank you Mikey!!


To: John
From: Craig

I received my gifts from none other than Mr. Puntabulous himself: Craig! Here you can see the Christmas bunnies looking at the gifts Craig sent (and eyeing the Alfa-carrots). Craig sent me a card of bunnies avoiding the ark; which is part of a series on bunny deaths; it totally made me laugh! He sent me a cd of new Craig Christmas music. And piece de résistance: a dancing monkey t-shirt and pants.

I believe that this is Craig’s way of marking me as king of the dancing monkeys. Do not fear, I will be a benevolent ruler…All shall love me and DISPAIR!!!

Thanks Craig! I love my gifts! The carrots were tasty, the music fun and the pjs comfortable.


To: Ryan
From: Mush

I got this awesome package from Mush. It included two CDs (buddha-bar VIII by Sam Popat and Live in Las Vegas by Santa Fe and The Fat City Horns), Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood, and the Animatrix DVD. I haven’t had much of a chance to listen to the CDs because I’ve been inundated with new music and been busy with non-music listening activities, but what I’ve heard so far has me excited. It’s outside my usual genres, which is the hardest to find good new music. I’m also looking forward to reading the book. I really enjoyed Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale and was intending to explore her other work. I’m also looking forward to watching the collection of shorts exploring the time before the Matrix movies.


To: TwoPi
From: Jere

My Bloggy Gift giver was Jere. He gave me an Elvis beanie baby (from the Elvis Museum in Las Vegas!), and set me up with the ultimate in New Year’s Eve eye-wear for Times Square, or the local equivalent, a gathering of friends assessing Dick Clark’s ability to count backwards. Cajun chefs have their holy trinity of bell peppers, onions, and celery — for TwoPi, the holy trinity is Elvis, Vegas, and Purple — and no day can match their over-the-top glories better than New Year’s Eve! Fantastic!


To: Heather (Xi)
From: Justin

I got the most fabulous present from Justin: a replica of one of the original Education Monkey multiplication tools, invented in 1916 and named after Consul the performing monkey. You move the feet so that they point to two numbers at the bottom, and then the hands [yes, hands -- stop giggling] point to the product. I’ve never heard of this before, or seen anything like it, which makes it especially exciting. Thank you thank you thank you!


To: Chris D.
From: Michelle M.


Michelle M. gave me an amazing assortment of gifts! She gave me a candy cane, Charlie Brown Christmas CD, Peppermint Bark, a vintage Christmas postcard (from 1911, it is like a perfect little time capsule from a bygone era!), a Marcel the Shell with Shoes on book (I LOVE IT!), AND…… a Marcel the Shell with Shoes on figure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This made me smile a whole lot! Michelle M. is an amazing gift giver! :)


To: Nathan
From: Chris D.

For my present I received, not one, but two beginner Japanese books! This was an amazing present for me because I’m hoping to actually go to Japan next year. Thanks so much to Chris for my fantastic gift. He even made me a little homemade ornament for the Christmas tree at home! An excellent gift.


To: Mr. Sombrero
From: Kristen “The Kid”

My gift from Santa “The Kid” Kristen was amaaaahzing and layered to satisfy all the senses!  Not only did it include the best thing the Western civilization came up with – a box of Holiday edition Smarties (the Canadian ones, not the US kind; think M&M’s in a harder shell) – but also, and this is the even more awesome, a donation of a mango tree for school kids in Rwanda. Now that’s a global gift that keeps on giving. And to signify the donation, my gift also included a box of dried mangoes, yummmmmm… So Kristen, all I gotta say is… Urakooooze (that’s thank you in Rwandan.

Tam and Kristen also included a tin of delicious homemade vegan gingerbread cookies for me to share with Adam!  Here are a few of our favorites:


To: VUBOQ
From: Adam


Photo One. This is me enjoying one of my many gifts from Adam – a book! Hot Guys and Baby Animals. Hot! Cute! Fun!

Photo Two. This is me …um… enjoying another gift from Adam – vegan beef jerky (tequila lime flavor). Delicious! (OK. Not really delicious. In fact, it was kind of gross).

Unfortunately, I don’t have a photo of me getting the taste of tequila lime vegan beef jerky out of my mouth with some truly yummerz dark chocolate! MMmmmm. Chocolate. I also don’t have photos of me taking a fun Unicorn Lavender Lotus Bubble Bath. Nor gleefully stamping “Who Cares” on all the crap my co-workers produce at work. But, those were other gifts from Adam that I totes *heart*.


To: David P.
From: Miley Cyrus & Enrico

I was the lucky recipient of a package hand-delivered by the amazingly talented Miley Cyrus, although what she was doing in Crown Heights is anyone’s guess. Oddly enough, inside the package were an assortment of gifts by the equally, if not more, amazing and talented but non-poll-dancing Enrico! As you can see, I was provided with two boxes of high-end macaroni and cheese mixes that I will be getting fat from shortly. Also among the loot were three Pulitzer prize-winning books (I’ve read one of them, but giving me something I can re-gift is a gift in and of itself) and I will definitely enjoy reading the other two over the next few months. And lastly, the pièce de résistance is the pack of nude male playing cards that will add a certain something special to my future games of solitaire. If you zoom into the photo, you can also make out the clever notes that were included with each present. Thank you so much, Miley! Oh, and you too, Enrico!


To: Enrico
From: John

My secret Santa got me two amazing presents! Knowing I’m a huge Miyazaki lover, he got me this Totoro thingy that I’m hanging on my wall as soon as I get a hammer. I’ve been meaning to read John Updike’s Rabbit, Run for years now, and now I can, since he also got me the novel and its first sequel, Rabbit Redux. I LOVE BOOKS AND TOTORO. Thanks John! After Michelle, you’re the best!!


To: Talita
From: Mel

I received amazing blueberry Jam, that was so delicious. A soy pine candle that smelled so good, I love soy candles they burn longer then regular candles. This candle added just the right amount of holidays to my house without being over whelming. My gift came packaged in awesome Christmas Tin!! Thanks for the great gifts Mel!!


To: FDot
From: Heather

I arrived home from my trip to Colorado to find a whole package of goodies awaiting me from Heather. Herein pictured are the goodies. 1 Post Office Priority Mail Box, no doubt chosen to hold everything else. 1 piece of Milk Chocolate, already eaten. 1 book of “Where Are They Buried?”, already perused and used to capture pictures for the next round of ‘Guess that Grave!”. 1 Electronic Rubik’s Cube Puzzle, opened and attempted. 1 packet of Punch Balloons, of which one has been inflated and punched repeatedly to relieve frustration from failing at the Rubik’s Cube puzzle. An extremely successful box of Christmas gifts, covering all I hoped for and making me very happy, as evidenced by the large smile I have on my face.


To: Justin
From: M Nico

If I’m looking a bit pouty it’s because Bloggy Santa left me empty handed this year. Don’t worry unduly I’m in intensive therapy for the *sniff* trauma *sob* No really I’ll be *chokes up* fine :(


To: M Nico
From:TwoPi

M Nico has refused all attempts at communication and presumably did not send a gift to Justin.  Many thanks to TwoPi for generously sending a gift to M Nico!! M Nico, we hope that you’re okay!!!



Once again, thanks to everyone for your participation in the 2011 Bloggy Gift Exchange!


Can’t get enough of our gift exchanging? Jump over to Josh Is Trashy to see our exchanges from 2010 and 2009.

Oh Nose! It’s Still Elimination Day!

Earlier today we learned that Mr. Sombrero is safe from this week’s
Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2 elimination.  But which players aren’t safe?

Polt

FDot

Before we say goodbye to one of the players, here’s a farewell song that selected by John.
Please enjoy ABBA’s So Long:

And now, the player eliminated from Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2 this week is…

Polt

Goodbye Polt, We’ll Miss You!!!

This means that FDot is safe from this week’s elimination!

But don’t cry too many giant purple tears, Polt — you still have a chance to win. This year we’ll be awarding our Rudest Loser prize to the eliminated player that loses the most weight. Keep working hard to drop some pounds, and we’ll check back in with you on April 7th!

Oh Nose! It’s Elimination Day!

It’s that day again … it’s elimination day!  Most people hate this day, but I know that Mush loves it!  Today’s the day each week that she leaves comments like: “Boo. This sucks.”  So in the spirit of happiness … let’s boot someone out of the contest!

This week we have three players on the chopping block.  They are:

Polt

Mr. Sombrero

FDot

But before we reveal the first safe player of the week, here’s a musical selection for you to enjoy.

Here’s Rock Mafia feat. Miley Cyrus with their hit, The Big Bang:

Wasn’t that fun?  I love rock music about quantum physics!

And now, without further ado, the first contestant safe this week is…

Mr. Sombrero!

That means that either Polt or FDot will be eliminated from Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2 this week.

Who will it be?

[I'll bet that song will still be stuck in your head when you] Check back at noon for the answer!

Broken Picture Telephone, Round One

A while ago, I asked a large group of bloggers and commenters to play a game of Broken Picture Telephone. (I apparently started a trend since it is currently been converted to an actual board game.) Basically what happens is that someone writes a sentence and passes that sentence on to someone else to draw. The drawer then passes it on to a writer who writes and passes it on to another drawer. And so on until it is all messed up. Get the picture? No? Well just keep reading, and you’ll understand…

“Just how many balls can you fit into your mouth?” – Mikey

Adam's Art

“With as much as he constantly talked, no one was surprised when Bruce could fit ten peach pits into his mouth at one time … with room to spare.” – Polt

Michelle M.'s Art

“While Bruce Willis blathers on about “artistic choices” to some reporter, he is secretly counting down the days until his cameo role as the new Peach Pit owner on Beverly Hills, 90210, satisfied that he did not have to act alongside any Asians.” – Fdot

Enrico's Art

“As a director, Bruce Willis imagines that he’d rather be buried alive by peaches than be in a movie with Miley Cyrus.” – Nathan

Craig's Art

“Miley Cyrus paused, during the rehearsal for her performance at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards, to listen to the director describe his dream, in which he was a jolly zombie being watered by a giant bionic peach.” – David

Tam's Art

“As Bruce Gowers was directing Miley Cyrus’s performance at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards, he was distracted by thoughts of his dream movie — the one about cyborg peaches with watering cans battling grunge zombies — by even that can’t explain the awfulness of Party In The USA or her performance.” – Mel

Josh's art

“Wearing a leather jackets and holding a megaphone, a teenage Bill Gates conceptualizes robotic potatoes who can manufacture small pox infected humans from seeds, during a recreation of Miley Cyrus’s 2009 Teen Choice Award, Party in the USA routine done by a not-so-sober Sarah Palin wearing lingerie.” – Kristen (the kid)

What is wrong with all of you? I give you a simple line from the season premier of Glee and you end up with Sara Palin wearing lingerie. I also don’t understand this obsession with Bruce Willis and Miley Cyrus! I do understand that this was insanely funny to play. And the next round is even funnier. Trust me! It’s coming soon!

Thanks to all of the participants: Craig, David, Enrico, FDot, Josh, Kristen, Mel, Michelle M., Nathan, Polt, and Tam!

Truly Outrageous

We here at Cocky & Rude have a strong affinity for relics of our childhood in the 1980′s.  And we love when those memories are updated using the internet.  Yesterday, Adam shared the wonderful He-Man/4-Non-Blondes mash up.

Today we get to see a fabulous re-visioning of Jem! She is truly outrageous and was one of my childhood icons.  Jem (aka Jerrica Benton) was a rock star by night and director of the Starlight Foundation for Girls by day.  She got to wear some amazing outfits with matching light up earrings.  As a pre-gay kid in the 1980′s I wanted to be Jem!

So when my friend Dewitt blogged about this clip, I couldn’t help but feel like there were others out there like me.  Gay men who need to recapture their youth by making this beloved cartoon into something deliciously deviant.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

http://www.youtube.com/v/XpjO2gXkIjQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&

Always remember that Miley Cyrus doesn’t hate black people. She hates Asians. And that is just the truth…

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