There’s something kinda fun and dangerous about snooping around someone’s private things. Whether you’re peeking in a coworker’s drawers, peeking in a blogger’s windows (yes, I’m referring to Polt), or taking a peek inside someone’s medicine cabinet when you use their bathroom, you experience a certain feeling that’s kinda cool. Your adrenalin surges a little bit as you picture yourself as a sneaky detective looking for clues. Or maybe that’s just me. (And now that I’ve written this, I doubt that I’ll ever be invited to any of your houses ever again.)
Last week I asked the C&R readers to submit photos of their office desk or workspace, so we could all snoop around and make fun of their desks. (click to enlarge all photos!) Here’s what was submitted:
First up, here’s a photo of my own desk. My desk is the epitome of [professionally undiagnosed] Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. At first glance, it would appear that I’m not busy — but I am, I just keep everything that I’m working on in a small stack under my phone. There is a near-complete lack of personal objects (my idea/dream is that I’ll quit or be laid off at any moment, and I don’t want to carry anything out the door with me). Objects of note: cutout of Canadian goose (a coworker stuck it there), 3 computers (a Mac flanked by two PCs), and my impressive colored paperclip collection in the left corner, which actually stretch from ceiling to floor.
You can probably guess whose desk this is by the Dilbert calender. It’s Craig‘s! As we learned via Twitter a few weeks ago, Craig is currently working a in a giant trailer on a construction site. His desk is small and impersonal, and appears to have no privacy at all (no wonder he’s always bitching about the name of this blog…). Craig’s desk features a few organized piles of papers and a large monitor that is crammed with boring spreadsheets. Objects of note: Tissue box, cup, small mysterious bottle (to the right of the calendar), and a lack of C&R on his computer screen.
Mikey submitted two photos of his desk at the International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission. The first made me wonder if Mikey works in a yellow haze all day long, but the second photo somewhat reassured me that his camera was just playing tricks. Mikey appears to have a lot going on at work, as his desk and bulletin boards are cluttered with papers, headphones, and various personal effects. Objects of note: A bulletin board that is leaning against the wall (no one at the IGLHRC can hang that on the wall for him?), a small square jar of rocks, the famous photo of Mikey as Marylin Monroe, and a stack of business cards that I designed for him!
Mikey’s Dad submitted these two photos of his spacious office area. Clearly an office where there is a lot going on, Mikey’s Dad’s desk(s) appears to be the workspace of multiple people. This office features lots seating, nice wall/desk colors, and lots of storage (cabinets and drawers). Objects of note: lots of bottles and buckets that house mysterious substances, a cardboard box shoved under desk, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, the view of a store (?), and a complete lack of C&R on the computer screens.
Mr. Sombrero submitted this photo. Our repeated attempts to ascertain whether or not a tornado, hurricane or exploding bomb had created such a mess have gone unanswered. What we can see is that Mr. Sombrero has two Macintosh computers, and one was apparently shoved aside to make room for the larger of the two. Objects of note: a mustache hanging from his monitor, a photo of his kitty, and lots and lots and lots of papers.
Paul submitted these three photos. The first is of his nameplate, which I assume he is very proud of. The second is a photo of his very organized office (which rivals my OCD, to an extent). Paul’s office is very color coordinated — almost everything is either black or white. The few specs of color that you may notice are Post-It notes that have been stuck to the wall. I applaud Paul’s neatness and organization! The final photo is a photo of his computer, featuring a Dr. Who and Star Trek theme. This appears to be the only hint of Paul’s geekiness in the entire office. Objects of note: a glass hand next to the calculator, lots of binders, and Paul’s own personal printer (jealous!).
Polt submitted this photo of his desk. Polt rivals Mr. Sombrero for the messiest of the submitted desks, but Polt gains points back for having (what appears to be) C&R on his computer screen (even thought it looks all screwed up in the ancient version of Internet Explorer that he’s using). Polt’s tiny desk features piles and piles of paperwork, toys, a phone and not a whole lot else. Objects of note: Polt’s odd choice of a steno pad mouse pad, a surprising lack of purple, Spongebob and Superman toys, and the awful mint-green door and wall that Polt probably has to look at all day long.
VUBOQ‘s desk appears to be the exact opposite of Paul’s. Where Paul’s desk was organized and stuck to a black and white color scheme, VUBOQ’s desk is a colorful collage of rainbow colors and happiness. VUBOQ works in what I’m guessing is organized chaos; his work scattered all over his desk, intermingling with toys. Objects of note: a green bag of rolled papers (they remind me of graduation diplomas), a colorful and flexible orange dinosaur, a jar of rubber cement (possibly for sniffing), action figures, Pez dispensers, and a colorful assortment of Post-It notes.
And finally (and slightly out of alphabetical order) is Tam‘s desk. The first photo is of her desk, the second is the view into her office, and the third photo is the view out of her office. Tam sent her photos complete with every possible bit of interestingness pointed out (making my job very easy). Objects of note: Annoying window, Canadian recycling bin, flip chart why?, a really old calendar and delicious snacks.
So what do you think of all the desks? Which is your favorite? Neatest? Messiest? Craziest? Where would you like to work? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
We’ve long considered Michelle M. to be one of the nicest and most beloved inhabitants of the blogosphere. But as we’ve recently found out, Michelle is a mighty force to be reckoned with. You cross her, and you she might just beat the ever-loving shit out of you. And it is for that reason (we want to protect you from her rage!) that we asked Michelle to come up with her own Have You Ever?! list of annoyances. You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever been Kristen Stewart, Ashton Kutcher or Jennifer Love Hewitt?
2. Have you ever failed to return a shopping cart?
3. Have you ever sent Michelle a chain email?
4. Have you ever eaten a tub of garlicky hummus before getting into bed?
5. Have you ever left your dog out in the yard to bark all damn day?
6. Have you ever had a spoiled brat who is out of control/doesn’t listen to you?
7. Have you ever mispronounced jalapeño?
8. Unless you’re Craig, have you ever said “me and him” or “her and me”, etc.?
9. Have you ever been a die hard, crazy ass Republican?
10. Have you ever made noise at a movie theater?
11. Have you ever spit in public?
12. Have you ever loaded the dishwasher improperly?
13. Have you ever used too many asterisks in your comments?
14. Have you ever designed a stupid Wonder Woman costume?
15. Have you ever been a salesperson/customer service rep. who ignores Michelle FOREVER and doesn’t know how to say, “I’ll be with you in a moment.”?
16. Have you ever made Michelle do math?
17. Have you ever walked on the wrong side of the lake path?
18. Have you ever had bad breath while sitting next to Michelle on an airplane?
19. Have you ever left a mess in the staff break room?
20. Have you ever written a song that Michelle can’t get out of her head for days?
21. Have you ever changed the chicken noodle soup recipe at Panera?
22. Have you ever posted a duckface photo?
23. Have you ever given your kid a weird/pretentious name or a name with a ridiculous spelling?
24. Have you ever used a lawnmower or leaf-blower before 10am on a weekend?
25. Have you ever called Michelle Ma’am?
Add your name and score to Michelle’s hit list in the comments!
The time has come to make those infamous pledges to ourselves that we make each year and then forget about by February: our resolutions. We have decided to share our resolutions with all of you since we know that our readers and commenters will make a concerted effort to keep us on task this year. When Adam writes about the ultra-fattening vegan cookies he is making, we expect you to say “that’s disgusting. don’t eat that!” And when Mikey waxes poetically about cheese, we expect our loyal commenters to remind him that he is supposed to be losing ten billion pounds this year. So friends, bloggers, readers, commenters, lurkers and people who have just stumbled upon this blog for the first time, please lend us your eyes and read our resolutions.
I resolve…
…to lose 40 pounds so that my doctor will stop having to give me that awkward talk we both hate anyway. – Mikey
…to lose 50 pounds or more so my doctor will have an awkward talk with me about eating disorders. -Adam
…to read more of my friends blogs more frequently instead of just cruising in when I get around to it. – Mikey
…to teach Mikey about proper comma usage. -Adam
…to blog more regularly and with better content so that Adam won’t send me IMs that read “that sucked” anymore. – Mikey
…to win Season Two of Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser, because I still feel like I shoulda won the first round. -Adam
…to get that third round of Broken Picture Telephone started already, because I’ve been sitting on it for about two months. – Mikey
…to either give up completely on Glee or to stop complaining about how much it sucks now, whichever comes first. – Mikey
…to stop watching sucky shows like Parenthood. Just because I’ve watched them since the beginning is not a reason to keep watching. -Adam
…to speak up for myself more at work instead of complaining after the fact. – Mikey
…to live more harmoniously with the world. Less waste, more recycling, more energy conservation. -Adam
…to live more neatly by not just leaving my discarded clothes where they fall as I (or my boyfriend) remove them. – Mikey
…to find a new job and start a new life. This one is becoming rather bothersome. -Adam
…to exercise more than once a month. -Adam
…to prepare and eat more homemade meals rather than ordering take out or going to a restaurant. – Mikey
…to just stop and relax from time to time. My life should not be a marathon run all the time. -Adam
…to see Adam more than three times during 2011 (granted the three times I saw him in 2010 were more times than I had seen him in person the two previous years that we knew each other). – Mikey
…to read at least one book per week. – Mikey
…to read at least one book in 2011. -Adam
…to steal all of Puntabulous’s readers by hacking Craig’s site and setting it to redirect to Cocky & Rude. To live in a harmonious world of friendly blogging happiness. – Adam
Now that you know what we plan to fail at this year, what do you intend to change about your life? Lose that pesky spouse? Find a pesky spouse? Leave five comments a day on Cocky & Rude? Give up foods starting with the letter R? Tell us all about it in the comments. Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I admit it … sometimes I run out of ideas! So when I was discussing further editions of our Have You Ever?! quizzes with Enrico, he suggested one that I should have thought about a long time ago. And so without further ado, I present to you: Have You Ever… In Bed?! You know the drill: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points, and post your total in the comments section. Here we go!
1. Have you ever fallen asleep in bed?
2. Have you ever read a book in bed?
3. Have you ever listened to music in bed?
4. Have you ever consumed a meal in bed?
5. Have you ever watched TV in bed?
6. Have you ever peed in bed?
7. Have you ever slept naked in bed?
8. Have you ever spent an entire day in bed?
9. Have you ever talked on the phone in bed?
10. Have you ever munched on crackers in bed?
11. Have you ever cried in bed?
12. Have you ever played with action figures in bed?
13. Have you ever been too warm, so you stuck one leg out from under the covers in bed?
14. Have you ever had a nightmare in bed?
15. Have you ever been bitten by bedbugs in bed?
16. Have you ever counted sheep in bed?
17. Have you ever consumed an alcoholic beverage in bed?
18. Have you ever flipped a pillow so you could enjoy the cool side in bed?
19. Have you ever enjoyed the company of a sleeping pet in bed?
20. Have you ever spilled food or a beverage and made a big mess in bed?
21. Have you ever pulled the covers over your head in bed?
22. Have you ever hit the snooze button so you could spend a little more time in bed?
23. Have you ever used a computer while in bed?
24. Have you ever snored in bed?
25. Have you ever read a fortune cookie fortune out loud and then ended it with the phrase, “in bed.”
Oh all the things you’ve done in bed! I’m impressed! You’re so innocent (for this week at least)!! Don’t forget to post your point total in the comments!
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Have You Ever … Had Poor Etiquette?!
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever been late?
6. Have you ever commented negatively about someone on Facebook?
13. Have you ever engaged in excessive PDA?
20. Have you ever had a conversation with someone on speakerphone in a public place?
2. Have you ever forgotten to introduce a date, friend or acquaintance to a group of new people?
3. Have you ever regifted a gift?
4. Have you ever forgotten to RSVP?
5. Have you ever taken the last bit of coffee and not made a new pot at work?
7. Have you ever farted in a public place?
8. Have you ever smoked a cigarette really close to non-smokers?
9. Have you ever cut in line?
10. Have you ever remained seated on public transportation when a disabled or elderly person was forced to stand?
11. Have you ever hogged a sidewalk so no one could pass you?
12. Have you ever clipped your nails (or otherwise groomed yourself) in public?
14. Have you ever hit all the buttons in an elevator?
15. Have you ever let the doors close instead of holding an elevator for someone?
16. Have you ever skipped the tip at a restaurant?
17. Have you ever made a lot of noise in a quiet movie theater?
18. Have you ever left pubes, pee, poo or any other mess in or on a public toilet without cleaning it up?
19. Have you ever coughed or sneezed onto someone else?
21. Have you ever used profanity in front of children in a public place?
22. Have you ever talked with your mouth full?
23. Have you ever behaved rudely at the gym? (not wiping off machines, monopolizing machines, etc.)
24. Have you ever not held the door for someone when entering or exiting a store?
25. Have you ever stared at someone’s boobs instead of their face when they were talking to you?
Tell us your total in the comments!
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