This guy used to be a fat ass until he started masturbating 100 times a day!
A recent article on Shine From Yahoo! has listed the amount of calories you can burn by participating in romantic activities.
Making Out, 30 minutes: 230 calories
Foreplay, 20 minutes: 87 calories for women, 107 for men
Unclasping a bra with both hands: 8 calories
Unclasping a bra with one hand: 18 calories
Unclasping a bra with your mouth: 67 calories
Strip Tease: 60 calories
Oral Sex: 100 calories
Missionary Position, 10 minutes: 250 calories
Woman on Top, 10 minutes: 300 calories for women, 130 calories for men
Sex Standing Up: Up to 600 calories for both people
Masturbation: Up to 150 calories per session
Orgasm: From 60-100 calories
What does this mean?
Each time you eat three Oreo cookies (160 calories), you should perform one session of oral sex and then do a strip tease.
After eating a scoop of vanilla ice cream (2-1/2 oz. – 170 calories), you should masturbate and then unclasp a bra with on hand.
After binging on an entire jar of peanut butter (18 oz. – 3,200 calories), you should have sex standing up 5 times and then unclasp about 12 bras with one hand.
I think you get the point…
So how many calories have you burned lately? Why do we even bother exercising when we can just bang instead? And after reading this, are you going to rethink your exercise routine?
Here are ten things that CREEP me the hell out:
Old timey dolls. What were people thinking in the olden days? Were they trying to scare their children to death? Who would want to wake up to see those evil little faces staring at you? The one above wants to swallow my soul.
Speaking of scaring children to death, jack in the boxes are another way to do it.
The anticipation of that thing popping out is enough to give me a heart attack.
Mayonnaise. SO GROSS! Barf!
Eyeballs. Specifically, touching or operating on them. The Lasik scene from Final Destination 5 almost did me in.
Bar soap*. Especially that slimy gunk between the bar of soap and the soap dish. Gag!
*More on this on a future post.
Mummies. I DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT! EVER! Put that thing back where you found it! (Plus, they carry curses).
Mold, eeeeeeeeeeeew!
Long toenails. Revolting! Clip that shiz before I lose my lunch!
(Also gross: long fingernails on men and those Lamisil toe fungus commercials).
Candle wax on birthday cake. And it gets on the best part – the frosting! I always worry that someone is going to blow too hard on the candles and spray that damn wax everywhere. If I’m in charge of candles, I put them all in one corner so the rest of the cake doesn’t get wax cooties.
Roaches. make. my. skin. Crawl.
So there you have it – ten things that I find utterly disgusting. Runners up were: hairy drain clogs,
hoarders, John Malkovich, porta potties and rotting, never brushed teeth.
What creeps you out? Let me know in comments!
National Men’s Health Week has just drawn to a close. This makes me wonder: How healthy is the C&Rmy? Are we ready to rise up against our greatest enemy and defeat him? Let’s find out how healthy of a man you are.
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever?!1. Have you ever had to get a physical for a school sport?
2. Have you ever gotten a physical because you’re getting old?
3. Have you ever had high cholesterol?
4. Have you ever had a kidney stone?
5. Have you ever had a heart attack?
6. Have you ever had arthritis?
7. Have you ever predicted bad weather coming because of pain in your joints?
8. Have you ever been told by a doctor that it’s time to start losing weight?
9. Have you ever been asked by your doctor if you’re sexually active?
10. Have you ever had to pee in a cup?
11. Have you ever had to provide a stool sample?
12. Have you ever been handed someone else’s pee in a cup?
13. Have you ever had to handle someone else’s stool sample?
14. Have you ever turned your head an coughed while a doctor yanked on yer balls?
15. Have you ever seen a urologist?
16. Have you ever checked your own balls for lumps?
17. Have you ever checked someone else’s balls for lumps?
18. Have you ever had a urinary tract infection?
19. Have you ever had a prostate exam?
20. Have you ever thrown your back out during sexual relations?
21. Have you ever not been able to get it up during sexual relations?
22. Have you ever been with someone who was not able to get it up during sexual relations?
23. Have you ever taken a prescription for your erectile dysfunction?
24. Have you ever taken an erectile dysfunction pill just for the hell of it?
25. Have you ever been raped by a giant erectile dysfunction pill wearing a cape?
Now turn your head, cough, and tell us your total in the comments.
So when Adam and Michelle put out their whiny request saying they were “tired” and “too exhausted” to post this week (wah wah wah) and DESPERATELY wanted guest posts, I thought … what could I, the classy sophisticated woman that I am, write about for a guest post? Of course, the obvious answer was Mikey’s favorite: hardcore gay porn.
Now everyone knows that straight girls only like porn with romantic music and floaty curtains, and soft gentle non-threatening male actors, right? Heh. Yeah. Well, I can’t speak on behalf of all straight girls, only the ones in my little pervy corner of the universe, and that description? Not so much. I decided I would do a survey of a few of my friends who I know enjoy a little man-on-man action, or at least a picture of a nekkid bottom now and then. 
Well, they told two friends, and they told two friends and so on, and so on. You know the drill. I ended up with 110 responses. Ack! I needed to buy a Survey Monkey pay subscription to access them all.
So what is the story with these women? They’re just looking at artsy pictures right? Well, we’re looking at pictures, I’m not sure how many are “artsy”. Have you been to Tumblr lately? Ahem. 97.3% have a gander at the boys, many on a daily basis, or several times daily, or hourly. Do you know how fast a dashboard moves on that site? Ya gotta keep up or you’ll miss a good one.
Now surely they’re not WATCHING videos. I must be alone in that jungle of testosterone, right? Oh no, I’m not alone. Basically 83% of us girls surveyed like to watch some hot video action, although we are basically cheap and don’t want to pay for it.
Okay, but they’re all single and sad and desperate like me I’m sure. Hmmm. Maybe? 37.6% of us are footloose and fancy free and can watch whatever the hell we want on the internet. But 35.6% have husbands who don’t really care.
I got some interesting comments:
So there you have it. But you’re asking “why?” right? Most people do, even other straight girls. And no, none of us imagine one of the ‘stars’ coming to their senses and sweeping us off our feet. Some of us like to watch straight porn or girl-on-girl as well, but there are a lot of common reasons women don’t like watching porn with other women in it. We are not the target audience. It’s aimed at men and as a rule shows women that men (supposedly) find attractive. The men involved don’t really matter, because straight guys are staring at the women. Straight girls? 
We’re looking at Ron Jeremy. Ack. If that’s not a freaking turn-off what is? I like to look at attractive men and seriously, you aren’t going to find many in straight porn. So I’ll go where my eye can enjoy the view, doubly, or more.
Here are some of the comments from my survey respondents:
So there you have it folks. In general the reasons why some of us girls like gay porn are: we like men and the way men look; straight porn makes us feel icky or self-conscious; and … it’s just hot. *shrug*
I received so many interesting answers to my questions about porn stars on twitter, live sex shows, strippers and how “out” you are with your habit, that I will definitely be using much of this info for some posts on my own site. Too much great data not to mine for other posts. 
I admit my survey sample was skewed to those who already have an interest in the subject matter, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun otherwise.
I know porn is not for everyone, but if it’s your thing, happy watching.
Check out Tam’s blog: Tam Reads, Writes & Rambles, read her reviews at Brief Encounters, or follow her on twitter.
Friday is Polt’s birthday – so what better song to celebrate our favorite man who loves purple
than Kiss by Prince…
You don’t have to be hetero
to turn me on
I just need your comments baby
From dusk ’til dawn
You don’t need experience
To turn me out
You just leave it all up to me
I’m gonna show you what it’s all about
You don’t have to be rich
To be my man
You don’t have to be cool
I’ll be your fan
Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with
I just want your extra HUGS, cause you’re
Chris
You got to not talk dirty, baby
If you wanna impress me
You can’t be too flirty
mama
I know how to undress me (Yeah)
I want to be your fantasy
Maybe you could be mine
You just leave it all up to me
We could have a good time
You don’t have to be rich
To be my boy
You don’t have to be cool
or suave or coy
Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with
I just want your extra HUGS, cause you’re
Chris
Yes
Oh, I think I wanna dance
Gotta, Gotta
Little girl Michelle’s parade
Gotta, gotta, gotta
Men and not girls rule your world
I said they rule your world
Act your age
mama
Not your shoe size
Maybe we could do the twirl
You don’t have to watch Dynasty
To have an attitude
You just leave it all up to me
My love will be your food
Yeah
You don’t have to be rich
To be my guy
You don’t have to be cool
I think you’re fly
Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with
I just want your extra HUGS, cause you’re
Chris
And we are back. I know you are all waiting on pins and needles for the final fourteen (and maybe actually hot) shows of the new fall season. Last week we learned that even thought there are a lot of guys on tv this fall, they aren’t all hot. Many of them are actually quite not hot. This is awful. So where are all the hot men these days? Let’s find out.
14. How to be a Gentlemen - Sadly one of this fall’s shows that is supposed to be about men has very boring talent. David Hornsby is cute but Kevin Dillon is creepyish.
13. The Playboy Club - The second show of the season trying to use 60s nostalgia has an admittedly attractive man in it’s cast. Sadly Eddie Cibrian is married to Leann Rhimes. That’s just crazy.
12. Charlie’s Angels - For a show that is probably supposed to be chock full of hot women, it sure has one sexy man in the cast. Sadly, I don’t think there will be a lot of hotties in the regular cast. Ramon Rodriguez (sexy)
11. Ringer – Yes, Buffy is finally back, but more importantly she is surrounded by men ranging from creepy, ancient handsome to dreamy handsom. I hope this twisty show finds a way for all these guys to end up in bed together.
10. The Secret Circle - The CW does find very good man candy and Thomas Dekker definitely qualifies. This shows might have been bumped up on the list had Dekker gone gay like he was supposed to on that other show that time.
9. Whitney - What is with all the women centered shows??? Can’t they at least have more men like Chris D’Elia on them so they can be really hot?
8. Grimm - Things are not looking grim on Grimm. Star David Guintoli has my vote for break out hotty of the year.
7. Hell on Wheels - The title of this show might have hell in it, but the cast looks like heaven. A wide variety of types for all the connoiseurs out there.
6. Terra Nova - In the same class as the previous, this show has more men, but they are younger and hotter. Score! Even if it wants to be this years Lost.
5. Once Upon a Time - One of the real contenders for this year’s Lost has another wide swath of hot men. From the gorgeous Josh Dallas to the sexy male stripper of Robert Carlyle.
4. New Girl – For a show about a girl, this show has some the best Grade A beef out there. Perpetual hottie (and Veronica Mars alum) Max Greenfield is a mild obsession of mine. Oh and Jake Johnson and Lamorne Morris are both suitably hot as well.
3. Homeland - Diego Klattenhoff is hot. He is a man in uniform. I want to see him out of that uniform. That is all.
2. A Gifted Man – As a society, we have been blessed to receive many opportunities to see Patrick Wilson bare buttocks. Sure most of his work is really serious, but who cares. He’s amazing.
1. American Horror Story – It looked for a while like the way to win was to have the most men per screen minute. However the real way to win is to be Dylan McDerrmott. This man is the most gorgeous, sexy, blue-eyed, dark haired piece on the planet. I’m not scared at all.
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Have You Ever… Been Girlie?!
The rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have you ever?!
1. Have you ever worn a tiara?
5. Have you ever used scented stationery?
12. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure?
18. Have you ever dotted your “i”s with smiley faces or hearts?
2. Have you ever squealed when seeing a mouse, bug or snake?
3. Have you ever worn pink clothing?
4. Have you ever asked someone to open a jar for you?
6. Have you ever carried around a small dog?
7. Have you ever eaten an entire box of chocolates?
8. Have you ever carried on over a teen idol or boy band?
9. Have you ever watched a chick flick?
10. Have you ever cried to get out of a ticket?
11. Have you ever played with My Little Ponies?
13. Have you ever ordered a fruity/girlie cocktail?
14. Have you ever colored your hair?
15. Have you ever worn make-up?
16. Have you ever had more than 4 pillows on your bed?
17. Have you ever had more than 20 pairs of shoes?
19. Have you ever played with a paper fortune teller?
20. Have you ever taken a bubble bath (as an adult)?
21. Have you ever had a slumber party?
22. Have you ever asked for directions?
23. Have you ever gone clothes shopping for fun?
24. Have you ever not gone out because you feel too ugly/fat/frumpy?
25. Have you ever read a romance novel?
Now get out your calculator (because math is hard!) and tell us your score in comments.
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