That poor little old lady didn’t stand a chance. With a barely any effort at all, Polt (who scored 95% with 120 votes) defeated Queen Elizabeth II (who only scored 5% with 6 votes) in the third round of Cocky & Rude Fight Club. We’re not sure if her mind was wrapped up in wedding plans or corgi flops, but she went down (not that way) fast and hard. It’s HUGS… all around as we celebrate Polt’s staggering victory over the British royalty. We expect him to quickly move into Buckingham Palace (after painting it purple, of course). Congratulations, Polt!
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll introduce our fighters. We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
Queen Elizabeth II
Also known as: Elizabeth Alexandra Mary House: House of Windsor Date of Birth: April 21, 1926 Place of Birth: Mayfair, London, United Kingdom Residence: Buckingham Palace, London, United Kingdom Occupation: Constitutional monarch of sixteen independent sovereign states, the figurehead of the 54-member Commonwealth of Nations and Supreme Governor of the Church of England. Relationship Status: Married to Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh Weight: Probably not very much because she’s a tiny old lady
Born in 1926, Queen Elizabeth II was just 25 years old when she ascended to the British throne on the death of her father, George IV, in 1952. She enjoys monochromatic outfits, pearls, corgis, jubilees, stupid hats, tea, crumpets, and blood pudding. Despite nearing an age of 81 she appears remarkably mobile with little intent of passing the throne to Prince Charles early. With her entire kingdom standing behind her, we expect this little old lady to rock the boxing ring old school (with lances, swords and perhaps a mace).
Also known as: Chris S. Date of Birth: November 25, 1967 Residence: Polt’s Palace, Waynesboro, Pennsylvania Relationship Status: Single (and active) Favorite Color: Purple Favorite Superhero: Superman Occupation: Law Enforcement/Security & Blogger Height & Weight: “I stand a little over 6 feet tall and weigh less than 300 lbs.”
A lover of all things purple, male and/or Asian, Polt hails from the majestic Polt’s Palace in Waynesboro, PA. Polt spends his day tweeting, complaining about work, hooking up with gentleman callers, stalking argyle-clad co-opers, reading Star Trek novelizations, performing with Mama Polt, and posting pornography on his website. Though his job at the prison is non-specific and has never been elaborated upon, we expect that Polt possesses Superman-like strength, and will be a powerfully purple competitor.
Picture in your mind a battle of these two worthy opponents. Both enter the ring, but only one will leave. Does the greatest queen that North America has ever seen stand a chance against the actual Queen? Or will the Queen’s age hold her back (we all know that Polt is old, but he’s not tthhaatt old). That’s for you to decide. Who will win in this epic battle of Queen vs. Queen? We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent!
Find out if this battle will end with a signature wave or a “HUGS…” on Sunday at noon!