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It’s Monday, Let’s Get Manic!

Ladies, gentlemen, and all of our readers that fall into a third category, it’s time to CELEBRATE!  In case you didn’t notice, Cocky & Rude just loaded REALLY quickly.  And it will from now on (let’s hope).  We’ve picked up and moved far, far away from the dreaded GoDaddy hosting servers.  No more failure notices, errors or timeouts.  Cocky & Rude is finally a  functional website!  Yay!

And while I’m glowing with happiness about the new server and site performance, I’m also overcome with so many random other thoughts that are just running willy-nilly around my mind!  Oh, that must be because it’s just another Manic Monday!

I’ve blabbed and blabbed about how much I hate weather in past blog posts, but I feel that I should mention it again.  I hate weather, experiencing it, talking about it, looking at it … it’s ALL. JUST. AWFUL.  And the kind of weather that I especially hate is SNOW.  Ugh!  Awful!  In the past few days, it has snowed twice in my area of NJ!  On Saturday I tried to drive and found myself slip sliding all over the road… and it wasn’t pleasant.  AT ALL.  Down with weather!

Are you ready for the Oscars?  The film nominations won’t even be announced until Tuesday, January 25th (and the Academy Awards aren’t airing until February 27th), but I’m already excited!  The Academy Awards is my favorite award show of the year, and this year it’s hosted by my Hollywood boyfriend: James Franco!  Oh, and Anne Hathaway too, she’s alright.  I’m already trying to see as many buzzy movies as possible.  So far I’ve seen Black Swan, The Social Network, The Kids Are All Right, 127 Hours, The King’s Speech, True Grit, Inception, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work, and Waiting For ‘Superman’.  I just added Winter’s Bone, Toy Story 3, How To Train Your Dragon, and Despicable Me to my Netflix queue.  I really wanna see The Fighter. Oh, and Netflix has Exit Through the Gift Shop available for instant streaming.  Score!

Speaking of The King’s Speech, I saw it on Sunday and it was fantastic!  ((stammer)) ((stammer)) ((stammer)) Go see it now!  (was that in bad taste?  Sorry!)

Who is going to watch the new season of American Idol?  I’m not sure if I even care about the show anymore now that Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler are going to be sitting at the judge’s table.  On the one hand, I love American Idol.  On the other hand, I miss Simon!

One TV show that I have been obsessed with lately is the UK’s Skins. Wow!  British teen drama goodness!  I love flawed teens that smoke, drink, do drugs, get naked and are constantly banging each other.  I watched the first 4 series over the course of two weeks, and now I’m hungry for more.  I only hope the new MTV version (premiering January 17th) is as good.  What’s that you said?  Oh.  Yea, I doubt it too.

So are you skinny yet?  Our new season of Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser is underway.  The first weigh-in results will be announced on Wednesday.  Then it’ll be your job to eliminate the worst team!  We’ll say goodbye to the first eliminated team on Sunday.  It’s so exciting!

Do I use too many exclamation points when I write?  I feel like I’ve used about 400 so far in this post!!!!

Did you notice that I spelled “Bitches” wrong?  Ooops!  Even worse, I did it last time too.  Maybe I’ll fix it for the next time that we take a weekend off.  Or maybe I won’t!

Did you take down your Christmas decorations yet?  It’s January freak’n 10th.  People, it’s time.  Even if you’re too lazy to take down your stuff, please stop turning on your outside holiday lights.  I love Christmas lights just as much as the next person, but it’s time to let go.

Speaking of Christmas, did you check out everyone’s Trashy Gift Exchange presents?  There was so much great crap being mailed all over the continent, it made me wish that I was a dishonest mailman that could have intercepted all of the packages and kept all the loot for myself.  Too bad I never took that damn civil servant exam.

Alright, enough of all that crap — back to Cocky & Rude.  What do you think of the redesign?  There are also a bunch of new bells and whistles that you should check out.  If you use a mobile device, check out our new mobile site.  Have you moused over your Gravatar to see your Hovercard yet?  (You can add to or update your Hovercard at the Gravatar site.)  When you leave a comment, you can now opt to be notified of follow-up comments.  Our search works better now (at the top, right side of your screen).  And you can even subscribe to Cocky & Rude via email (at the bottom of our menu sidebar).

At Cocky & Rude, we’re 370 blog posts in and going strong.  @CockyAndRude on Twitter recently passed the 110 follower mark.  And we must be doing something right, because you’ve left over 3,000 comments on our site.  Thanks for reading today, and every day … and I hope that you enjoy your Manic Monday!

The Friday Five…Million

It was bound to happen. We have found five million favorite things this week. Not really five million, not even one million. There were just so many things we saw online this week that we can’t contain ourselves and keep it to the five you have come to love. It is rather a random mix of clips actually, but I’m convinced they will pick you up out of the doldrums of the week and put you in a great mood for the weekend.

First up falls under the title of so adorable that you must squeal with glee. No, not the television show that has been so un-cute lately that I want to vomit. The kind of glee it used to bring. See what happens when you film the inhabitants of a sloth orphanage doing their best to just be sloths. Oh and if you are my secret Santa, please consider giving me one of these this year!

How can you follow that ultimate adorableness? With heartrending tragedy that is also kinda funny. Last weekend people gathered in Richmond, Virginia to welcome the holiday season. What they got was a parade in which something really disturbing happened to Rudolph. Please click this link to see what happened. It is guaranteed to blow you away.

Now that you have seen the things that can indeed go horribly wrong for you if you just want to par-tay, let’s see what happens if you take irony too far. In NYC, there is an invidious group of people living mostly in Brooklyn who are know as hipsters. They relish in everything that is not theirs and dress up in just about any style from just about any period of American historical fashion. I’m serious. I saw a dude dressed in a tricorner hat with a handlebar mustache. I carry an electric beard trimmer around to forcibly remove the ironic facial hair but no one can defeat the hipsters like Charles Bronson can. Ladies and Germs, I give you our savior.

http://www.youtube.com/v/gEyP4Q8igQY?fs=1&hl=en_US

Now that the world has been set right by our hero, we entreat him to focus his energies on Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson used be cool. He was beyond the Thunderdome with Tina Turner and the ultimate insurgent in Braveheart, but now he is just a disgusting pathetic loser. That’s why we are hoping you will watch this refashioning of his upcoming movie with Jodie Foster called The Beaver. That’s right: Jodie Foster is going to be in a movie called The Beaver and it is not about her not so secret sapphic side.

http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf

Take a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath, cuz there is more! After Tuesday’s completely flaccid and vapid episode of Glee, I bet you have a hankering for some good music. We at Cocky & Rude are willing to fill that niche. First up is a parody of the trailer of Inception. What’s that you say? Inception came out months ago? Well a good joke never really goes bad, does it? See what happens when Glee cast hopefuls turn the Inception trailer into A Capella.

http://www.youtube.com/v/d2yD4yDsiP4?fs=1&hl=en_US

The Penultimate item of the week is altogether more musical and funnier than this week’s episode of Glee. Lip speaking the words to Let It Be just might be the new Rickrolling. Check out what happens when you get a bunch of celebrities together to prove that the We are the World remake is not the funniest thing that ever happened.

http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf

You made it! This is the very last thing we have to share with you this week. You should be very proud and write about it in the comments. With all the hype (and many of us hoping for a Broadway’s next big flop) about the new Spider-Man Musical, I couldn’t ignore the musical that lives in its shadow. I think the Hulk musical in the clip below is Wicked meets Phantom. Not sold on it yet? Well watch the clip and come to NYC for a show for once!

Captain Hippo-Hulk: Inside and Out (Hulk Musical)
http://www.youtube.com/v/7iabXyt4X1c?fs=1&hl=en_US

I hope you enjoyed my rundown of the clips you would have already seen, if you were us (read: sit around online ALL the time). I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did. Happy Weekend, Folks! You earned it!

Dora The Explorer + Inception = Hilarious

http://www.youtube.com/v/ZrYPJ4Yc31g&hl=en_US&fs=1

many thanks to my friend john for the link

It's Just Another Manic Monday

Were you wondering how my bee sting is doing? No? Well I'm showing you anyway! Bees are STILL ASSHOLES!

The new season of Mad Men started last night … and it was awesome!  Jon Hamm is so sexy and silent … he might be the perfect man!

And how great was it that Mad Men wasn’t on at the same time as True Blood?  It made for the perfect Sunday night.

Speaking of True Blood, isn’t Ryan Kwanten freak’n hot?!  If I had that body, I’d never leave the house.

My Kindle has convinced me that reading is fun!  I just finished Dave Eggers’ Zeitoun, and it was freak’n amazing.  I laughed, I cried, I was ashamed of my own country.  I definitely recommend it.

What should I read next?

I can never spell the word “definitely” — I always type “definately” and then spellcheck corrects me.

Kathy Griffin is on fire this season on her show, Kathy Griffin My Life On The D List. Even if you hate her, you should be watching this show!!

Also great this season?  The Whitest Kids U’Know.  Never heard of it?  Well you need to find it and watch it.  It’s everything SNL should be, but isn’t.

I saw Salt over the weekend.  It was about what you’d expect … kinda predictable, unrealistic, silly, but overall an actiony good time.

When did it become acceptable for chatters to say “lawl” instead of LOL?

I’ve been off of soda for over a month.  My body is healthier, but my soul is dead.

Are you following Cocky & Rude on twitter?  You should be…

I spent way too much time last night (when I should have been sleeping) watching Zach Galifianakis’ web series, Between Two Ferns.  It’s truly hilarious.  Here’s one of my favorites:

http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf

I’m obsessed with Maggi Noodles right now.  They’re like the Indian food version of Ramen Noodles, but 1000x better.  If you’ve never heard of them, you need to go to your closet Indian grocery store, buy them, cook them, and then stuff them into your face.  OMG SO GOOD!

Did you see Inception yet?  Wow. That. Was. Good.

Mikey wants to know if he can wear brown sandals with a black shirt.  Thoughts?

What, my thoughts are all jumbled and I just burped up a blog of randomness at you?  It must be another Manic Monday!

Just Another Manic Monday

I’m sick of Facebook.  I think I’d delete my account if it wasn’t my only means of communication with so many people.

I wish the Home Depot in Flemington, NJ was open later than 8pm on Sundays.

Woah, it’s 68 degrees outside!

I’m in the mood for Ritas.

Boca Spicy Chik’n Patties are delicious.

Lately I’ve been obsessed with seedless watermelon.

I’m so proud of myself for not forgetting to take any of my antibiotic pills for seven days straight.  Three more days to go!

I wish I could stop coughing.

After the move, my car was a disaster.  I spent nine dollars at the car wash to vacuum and clean every square inch, inside and out.  Then it rained.

I went to 6 stores yesterday looking for a cheap 8000 BTU window unit air conditioner.  I bought nothing in each of the stores, but managed to abandon a cart in each one of the store’s air conditioner rows.  Sorry :(

I bought one today at BJ’s Wholesale Club.  $170 felt like the deal of a lifetime.

I moved almost a week ago and am ALMOST finished unpacking.  I’m so lazy for taking so long to unpack!

I need to start dating before I die of old age.

I watched Marley & Me today and balled my eyes out.  It’s a good thing that Spring is immortal.

I finally bought curtains for my living room at Target on Friday.  Now I can walk naked around the whole apartment and no one will ever see me.

Does anyone else feel guilty for using the dishwasher?

I’m tired.

I love my new Kindle.  I finished Sarah Silverman’s The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee and just started Kathy Griffin’s Official Book Club Selection.

My friend told me that Jennifer Aniston’s wardrobe in Marley & Me was supposed to be great.  I didn’t notice at all … does that make me a bad gay?  Oh wait, my new green curtains match two of my throw pillows and a picture on the wall.  I’m good.

Both the Celebrity Apprentice Limited Edition Snapple teas are disgusting.  How hard could it have been?  I could have designed a better flavor than Bret Michaels and Holly Robinson Peete.  I should be the Celebrity Apprentice!

My new apartment smells funny.

I can’t believe that I’m going to be 30 in less than a month.

Have you seen Rainbow Poo yet??

BreathSavers Spearmint 3-Hour Mints are delicious. If I crunch the whole package in 5 minutes, will my breath smell good for days?

Inception looks awesome.

Get Him to the Greek was pretty funny.

In 2 weeks, this ginger will be at the beach for a week.  Someone please ready the vegan sunscreen, SPF 1,000,000.

Fuck you, BP.

Yay, True Blood: season 3 starts next Sunday!

OMG so many thoughts!  It must be a Manic Monday!

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