Were you bored to shit after reading my Montreal Vacation: Part 1 post yesterday? Then you’re crap outa luck!
Cuz here’s part 2. Bam! In the face!
Between Part 1 and Part 2, my arm grew back. BUT NOT FOR LONG! Because this paper tiger bit it the fuck off again. Montreal was not a lucky place for arms, lemme tell ya.
Wondering where I managed to find a big paper tiger? It was at the Montreal Botanical Gardens Chinese Lantern exhibit. This is the 19th edition of The Magic of Lanterns at the Chinese Garden. This year’s theme pays tribute to China’s first Emperor, Qin Shi Huangdi and his impressive cavalry.
The Chinese architecture is beeeeeeutiful!
This banzai tree (part of the banzai garden in the Japanese Garden) is 270 years old!
That’s almost twice as old as Polt! Holy CRAP that’s old!
After the Botanical Gardens, Mr. Sombrero and I went to the Montreal Insectarium.
Here’s a photo of two beetles do’n it.
People eat that? Eww! Gross!
… I was talking about the chocolate …
Cuz I’m an ultra vegetarian. Right … I was talking about the chocolate.
The next day we took a day trip to Quebec City. It’s a wonder we made it there, because I have no idea what the hell a white line next to a stop light means.
Old Quebec City is the only walled city in North America and is is the capital of the Canadian province of Quebec.
The city’s most famous landmark is the Château Frontenac, a hotel which dominates the skyline.
Here I am, standing in front of it and looking like a dumbass.
And here I am pretending that I’m looking at something exciting.
Here’s the two of us pretending that we’re cute.*
Here’s a sign that discourages Michael Jackson from tossing his baby over a ledge.
The next day we explored more of Montreal’s parks, tourist traps and strip clubs. Here’s a friendly white squirrel that I found at a La Fontaine Park.
Montreal is a very clean city — thanks to these amazing Gonzo-nosed golf cart vacuums.
Mr. Sombrero sampled some of the local artisan ice cream in a homemade cone.
Is this NOT the cutest photo you’ve EVER seen??
And then we went home to the boring United States of America. Within 3 days, we both came down with upper respiratory infections. Woohoo!
*We don’t actually have to pretend — we know that we’re cute.
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Stuff I daydream about.
Life is harsh. Sometimes the best thing to do is slip into a nice daydream. Here’s just some of the stuff I like to imagine while I’m stargazing, woolgathering or just plain avoiding reality.
My most frequent daydream is of winning the mega millions lottery.
But The Publisher’s Clearing House prize would do just fine. I’m not picky.
After I win my millions, Harry and I will travel. Some of the places I fantasize about going to are Fiji (or any tropical island, really), Santorini, Austria, Australia, The U.K., Copenhagen and Belgium (I hear they make a good french fry…).
I like to pretend that I’m a ballerina. And not just a ballerina, but a prima ballerina assoluta.
I also like to daydream that I’m a singer/songwriter with a multi-octave range.
Here I am performing at one of my sold out concerts.
One of my favorite sports is figure skating. I like to imagine what music I would skate to, what costumes I would wear and what it would feel like to win an Olympic gold medal (in my head I have also won the gold in equestrian events, diving, skiing and gymnastics).
Have you heard? I’m (supposed to be) writing a novel. Of course, I like to think it will be a #1 best selling book. It will, of course, be optioned for a movie. And I’ll have so much fun traveling around the country staying in 5 star hotels and doing book signings. Make sure you come out to see me when I come to a bookstore near you!
Naturally I’ll win a best screenplay Oscar when I adapt my book for film. I’ll receive a standing ovation for my humble and humorous, yet touching acceptance speech.
Once I win the Oscar, maybe they’ll give me a whack at writing that Wonder Woman movie I’ve been waiting for…
All my daydreams aren’t frivolous, though. Sometimes I pretend that I’ve come up with the cure for cancer, paralysis or any other number of illnesses/diseases. The Nobel prize, Time cover for Person of the Year, money and accolades will all be secondary to the knowledge that I am helping the human race.
Some of my daydreams are actually attainable. I often wish that my house was sparkling clean, my laundry and ironing is all done, the cupboards and refrigerator are filled with food, and I’m at my goal weight. Then I can completely relax while watching movies and reading a stack of books guilt-free.
So what do you like to daydream about? Flying to the moon? Scoring the game winning touchdown? Being the homecoming queen? Stealing Mr. Sombrero away from Adam? Let me know in comments!
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