Tag Archives: history

I Don’t Want To Hold Your Hand

42 Comments Posted by on January 9, 2012

According to Wikipedia, handshaking was practiced in ancient Greece as far back as the 5th century BC. And some researchers have suggested the handshake may have been introduced in the Western World by Sir Walter Raleigh during the late 16th century.

Either way, handshaking is gross and I don’t want to do it.
Just thinking about where people’s hands have been makes me cringe.

Germy!

Slimy!

Eeeew!!

Probably didn’t wash their hands!

A clammy, limp handshake is disgusting. Plus, pandemic anyone? Did you know that you are only 6 handshakes away from dying a horrible, excruciating death? Here is a chart, so it must be true.

I move that we find another way of acknowledging each other and abolish handshaking altogether. But what form of greeting should replace the handshake?

The highfive? I would still have to come into contact with a sweaty palm. No thanks.

The fistbump? Touching is still involved. Pass.

The salute? Too formal.

A curtsy? Too fancy schmancy.

A bow? Not bad – but Asian people might think I’m mocking them.

The airkiss? Too phony.

A hug? Fine for friends (or Polt), but if I don’t want to shake your hand,
I certainly don’t want to hug you.

So what does that leave?

It’s the perfect solution. It’s friendly, yet allows one to keep one’s distance.

It works for all ages – from the littleuns’…

to the tweens…

to the oldz.

All the cool kids do it.

As well as human rights leaders,

and deities.

So next time someone wants to shake your hand, avoid that moist, grimy mitt.
Lock and load and fire off those fingerguns!

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Changing Minds, Changing History

3 Comments Posted by on June 2, 2010

It has been a loooooooong time since I verbally smacked Adam upside the head and educated him about LGBT history; and since June is officially LGBT Pride Month in honor of the Stonewall Revolution of June 28, 1969, it seems like an great time to do just that.

Hey Adam!! Did you know that the American Psychiatric Association used to openly pathologize homosexuality and bisexuality?  Yes they did!

Until 1973, any individual who expressed sexual desire for a member of the same sex could and many times would be subjected to various forms of corrective therapy.   If normal everyday talk therapy didn’t have an effect, it wasn’t uncommon for more unique measures to be used.  These measures range from the laughable (encouraging gay men to participate in sports) to the grotesque (injections to induce nausea when the subject became sexually aroused and electric shocks when shown images of members of the same sex).

The LGBT community has one courageous heterosexual woman to thank for finally changing these ridiculous practices: Evelyn Hooker.  Hooker was a Johns Hopkins University educated psychiatrist who conducted numerous studies on homosexual men and vehemently advocated for the removal of homosexuality from the APA’s diagnostic criteria.  Hooker’s attitude did not arise in a vacuum.  She has acknowledge that her friendships with her former student Sam From and neighbor Christopher Isherwood, both of whom were gay,  introduced her to the gay subculture and informed her opinions.

In 2010, many LGBT people seek therapy for assistance adjusting to their sexual orientation and with coming out.  We have certainly come a long way, but I still think there is some work to be done.  The APA still has a classification under which psychiatrists can “treat” individuals displaying same-sex desires.  Egodystonic Homosexuals, or gays who don’t like that they are gay, are still subjected to to corrective therapies.  This classification is rarely used by therapists who want the best for their clients, but there are still religious fanatics who exploit its existence to scar new generations.

More accepted is the diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder, which broadly covers transexuality, transgender identity and transvestitism.  In short, this diagnosis allows psychologists, psychiatrists, and other mental health professionals to treat children and adults with “non-normative” gender expression.  I’m not sure about you, but I think that the concept of normative gender expression went out with the Second Wave Feminist Movement of the 1960s & 1970s.  This is precisely the reason why many practitioners are currently lobbying to get the diagnosis removed from the manual.

I hope that by the 50th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots (here we come June 28, 2019) both of these diagnoses will have been removed  from the manual so that fewer people are traumatized in the name of therapy.

Gay Stuff , , , , ,

How We Learned to March

3 Comments Posted by on April 9, 2010

Bayard Rustin Speaking with activists in 1964

Not many people know that one of the principle organizers of Martin Luther King Jr’s famous March on Washington was an African-American gay man named Bayard Rustin.  I’m 100% certain that Adam didn’t know that at all, but there are a lot more things about LGBT history that Adam doesn’t know than he does.

Rustin was one of Dr. King’s most trusted advisers and friends throughout many of the key moments in the civil rights movement of the 1960′s.  He took a leave from the War Resisters League to support and encourage King’s efforts during the Montgomery Bus Boycott and was one of the founders of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, which was instrumental in the movement; yet Rustin’s sexual orientation was constantly used against him.  Despite all of the strategic and important knowledge he brought to the table, Rustin was forced to resign from the SCLC and he was not allowed to have any public recognition for his part in organizing the march that gave us King’s “I Have a Dream” speech.   It has been said that King himself greatly regretted the way that Rustin was treated by his colleagues, but the roots of homophobia run deep.

Things have changed since the 1960s.  Both African-Americans and gays have more rights and protections granted to them by the government.  Yet the public personae of both movements do not always show the true depth of their constituencies.  All too often white gays and lesbians are on display while the rest of the community is marginalized.  The movements representing communities of color also don’t always recognize the queer members of their communities.  We fall short of attaining Dr. King’s dream when we do not recognize that racism and homophobia are not just similar but also must be confronted equally if we are truly to accept the diversity in our midst.  It’s not too late for Bayard Rustin’s legacy to be revered by all of us.

Gay Stuff , ,

Adam Whizzes a Stream of Consciousness

9 Comments Posted by on April 6, 2010

Have you ever had a nasty throat infection, a cold, an explosive STD or some other horrific disease, and just didn’t feel like posting to your blog?  (By the way, I think I have #1 or #2, certainly not #3 or #4.)  Unfortunately, you’ve made this crazy commitment to yourself and the world that you’d post a new, quality entry at least once EVERY day.  Oh wait, is that just me?  I wish other bloggers would post more often…

So anyway, I’m sitting here thinking about what I should write while filling tissues with gallons of mucus and sucking crunching on lozenges to ease my awful sore throat.  Is it possible to cough so hard, loud and continuously that you actually just fall over and die?  I’m not sure, but I’ll let you know.  When I was a kid, we called lozenges, “losengers”  — pronounced loss-en-gers.  Did anyone else do that?  I also horrifically mispronounced “coupons” (cue-pons … it should be coo-pons).  And because my parents sucked at teaching me how to speak the English language, my teachers sent me off to elementary school speech class.  Suddenly my world was populated by trees instead of “twees” and car tires were made out of rubber instead of “wubber.”

Speech class was always fun because it meant that you got to skip out of class to go to a special room and practice your words.  We’d listen to recordings and verbally identify objects that were sketched on cards.  I always figured everyone was jealous that I got to leave class when they had to keep working on boring crap like math, but they all probably made fun of the kid who couldn’t speak and called me dumb.  I was a weird kid, and had no idea that the whole class probably shared a hearty chuckle at the stupid kid every time I left the room.

A few years passed, my speech was deemed socially acceptable and I was booted from special help.  Suddenly I was normal and the only kids that got to skip out of class were the really “special” kids and the ones who were considered “gifted and talented.”  What the hell is “gifted and talented” and why wasn’t I ever invited?!  I was far more gifted and talented than any of those snooty shmucks.  Those assholes!  (Maybe I was never invited because my way of dealing with jealousy is to spew profanity at anyone willing to listen?  Nah, that couldn’t be it.)

Ever since my speech class days, I’ve been a little OCD over pronunciation and proper grammar.  It drives me CRAZY when people mispronounce simple words!  My father adds an “a” to the end of words that should end with an “o” (tomata, potata), and an “ee” to the end of the days of the week (Mondee, Tuesdee, Wednesdee, Thursdee, *KABLAMO* my head just exploded).  My mother randomly says words incorrectly (most notably are mirror, which is “mira” and water, which is “wudder”).  I have a coworker who is seemingly educated, but constantly throws around her double negatives (I don’t want to do none of that work!).  Every once and a while, I even catch myself making a mistake (when and why did I start replacing “probably” with “pry” and “prolly” and how can I make myself stop?!)

Like many of my bloggy brethren, I majored in English in college, which served only to made my craziness worse.  But am I really as crazy as I think I am?  Does anyone else notice this stuff as much as I do?  Lemme know.  Right now, I gotta go blow my nose again.  The thing is like a faucet that just won’t turn off.  Ugh.

//

Adam is Insane, Adventures in Real Life , , , ,

MMMmmmm Cookies!

6 Comments Posted by on April 3, 2010

This time of the year, Christians are cooking up some giant hunk of dead animal to celebrate the reincarnation and superpowers of that emaciated-looking guy that’s always dangling from crosses on the covers of bible-thumper pop music CDs. But wait! It’s not too late to follow up your murder-nosh and Christian rocking with something a little different this year.  How about some delicious vegan cookies? Wait… what? You think they must be disgusting because they don’t contain any cow jizz milk or hand-dyed aborted chicken fetuses eggs? Think again!  These cookies are truly delicious (even non-vegans agree!) and are so moist and tasty that you won’t be able to stop at  your tenth cookie!  You’ll just keep stuffing them into your food hole until the whole damn batch is gone!

Adam’s Amazing Baked Apple Oatmeal Cookies

1 Very, very Ripe Banana
1 Medium-sized Apple
.5 cup Sugar
1.5 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
Pinch of Salt
2 teaspoons Cinnamon
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
.5 cup Whole Wheat Flour
1 cup (approx) Rolled Oats
.5 cup raisins (optional)
olive oil spray

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Get out a big bowl, 1/2 cup scooper, a fork and a cookie sheet. I suggest guesstimating the teaspoon measurements (but if you’re a big wimp, get out some measuring spoons too). First thing you gotta do is smush the hell out of your bananas. Use your fork, and just go crazy until it’s a gooey mess. If it was ripe enough, this shouldn’t be too difficult. If you’re having trouble, toss in your sugar and keep smushing and mixing. The gritty friction created by the sugar will help it along. Now toss in your vanilla, cinnamon and baking soda. It’s easier to add them (and mix them in well) now when your batter is wet.

Now it’s time to cut up your apple. Your goal is to dice it into tiny little pieces, so just start chopping the shit out of it. When you’re done, add the apple to your bowl and stir it until your batter is covering your apple pieces pretty well. Now toss in your flour and oats, a bit at a time. Bananas are all different sizes, so you may need to fudge this recipe a bit. I usually cut this recipe by a 1/4 cup of oats, mix everything well, then only add it if the mixture is too wet.  If you fear that your recipe is too dry, add a little bit of water or soy milk until it gets back to a consistency you’re happy with.  Now mix in your raisins, and you’re almost done.

Assuming you didn’t screw anything up, you’re ready to spoon it out onto a cookie sheet. One of the wonderful things about most vegan cookie recipes is that they won’t spread or rise very much — it’s the eggs and dairy crap that make your non-vegan cookies behave in such ways. Since we didn’t use any such animal products in these cookies, you can spoon rounded tablespoon sized dough balls onto your greased cookie sheet pretty closely (about 1/2-3/4 inch apart). Fill up your sheet, then toss it into your oven for about 14 minutes (or until they start to brown). Cool these cookies on the sheet or cooling racks for a little bit before stuffing them into your drooling mouth!

Alternatively, you can plop the whole batter mix into a greased cake pan or pie plate, and cook it for about 14 minutes.  You’ll end up with a giant moist cookie that probably won’t really stay together in a single piece, even when it cools.  This is a good route to take for lazy folks that care more about taste than what their end product will look like.

Now you can rest easy during this holiday weekend.  Cuz you know that even if that half-naked guy on the cross died for your sins (and was later reincarnated with super-duper awesome sci-fi powers), no animals suffered for your cookie enjoyment!

Recipes & Food , , , , , , , , ,

Say it ain't so, Ricky?!?!

9 Comments Posted by on March 30, 2010

Just in case you didn’t hear the bombshell news yesterday, Ricky Martin is a “fortunate homosexual man.”  Middle aged women everywhere are just devastated by this news, while everyone in my generation stares at them with blank looks of incredulity on their faces.

Was anyone seriously shocked by this announcement?  He fathered two children through a surrogate with the intentions of raising them alone.  Does this sound like any attractive single straight men you know?  Or what about the fact that he got his big break into the American pop music scene with the help of  the supreme cone-breasted one and predecessor of Lady Gaga: Madonna.

I applaud Ricky’s willingness be public about his sexual orientation.  I have never been a famous musician or artist and had to have my personal life examined by people who seem to think they have some right to all the nitty-gritty details.  But I guess I’m a little sad that he couldn’t do it at the peak of his fame rather than as an attempt to maintain his cultural relevance.

The same goes for Sean Hayes.  I’m probably more bitter about this than most of you (and most people who know me are saying “umm…you are always bitter!”), but I think it has to do with the time that both of these stars were reaching the high points of their careers.  That time just so happen to coincide with the time when I was a young gay man struggling to come out in this heteroworld.  I’m not saying my struggle to come out would have been easier if Martin or Hayes came out to. I’m not that naive (at least not anymore).

I do think it did have an impact on me to see these two men that I identified as gay, not acknowledging it and embracing it, at a time when I was just learning what it meant to be  a big ‘mo.  Unlike most straight people, we gays are born into families that lack adult role models that share our orientations.  I think that’s a big part of why we seek out our own kind and make our own families.  We need people like us out there who make us feel that it will be okay, that our gayness can be celebrated, and that our loves can be loved.

So here is hoping that Ricky’s newly announced gayness can help at least one young person feel accepted in this wild heteroworld.  I will rest easily tonight knowing that my nascent gaydar was on point!

Ranting & Raving , , , , , ,

Goodbye, Robert Culp.

6 Comments Posted by on March 25, 2010

Way back before Nip/Tuck, Damages, Sons of Anarchy and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the fX cable network was born. It was 1994, I was 14, and I was obsessed with the wacky newborn network. The station was run out of one giant apartment in Manhattan’s Flatiron District. The network featured a bunch of live and original programs, each shot in different rooms of the apartment. The morning show, which was simply called Breakfast Time, was co-hosted by Tom Bergeron and often featured celebrity interviews in the apartment’s bathroom. Other great shows were Personal fX (a collectible show), The Pet Department (a show about … pets), and Backchat (a show where they simply read letters from views), which hosted by Jeff Probst.

To fill the rest of their days, fX featured a bunch of kitschy shows in their afternoon lineup, like Batman, Wonder Woman, The Green Hornet, and my favorite: The Greatest American Hero.

The Greatest Americna Hero followed an unlikely pair: Ralph Hinkley (which was later changed to “Hanley” after another Hinkley decided to try to assassinate President Reagan), who was a liberal high school teacher played by William Katt, and Bill Maxwell, a right-wing FBI agent.  They partnered after they both experienced an alien encounter in the California desert.  During the encounter, the aliens gave Ralph a superhero suit which granted him super powers, and an instruction manual so he’d know how to use it (which he quickly lost). Together they teamed up to save the world from Commies and a host of other bad guys. The grumpy, yet lovable Bill Maxwell was played by the fantastic Robert Culp.

http://www.hulu.com/embed/JQeD5JUBRkVc6o206ehMLg

But all great things always come to an end.  The apartment eventually disappeared, fX turned into FX, and all the shows were replaced by newer reruns like The X-Files and Married… with Children, movies and NASCAR.  Bergeron eventually went on to Hollywood Squares and Dancing With The Stars and Probst went on to a little show called Survivor.

In my teens I was obsessed with capturing all my favorite television shows on VHS, and my collection included every episode of The X-Files, Star Trek Voyager and Deep Space Nine, and all The Greatest American Hero episodes that I had recorded off of fX.  I’d The Greatest American Hero over and over again.  But like fX, I eventually moved on.  I gave away or trashed all of those VHS tapes.  Only one of those series ever found its way back into my collection, this time as a DVD set: The Greatest American Hero.

Although William Katt played the star of the show, Robert Culp was always my favorite.  He was always grumpy, impatient and just down right funny.  He was the ultimate good guy, fighting for his country during the cold war.  His partner may have had super powers, but Bill Maxwell got the job done with his sharp wit and a side arm.

Culp died on Wednesday, after taking a fall while taking a walk near his home in Las Angeles. He was 79 years old. He was best known known for his hit 1960s television show with Bill Cosby, I Spy. Over the years he appeared in over 150 television shows and movies. In 1999, Culp narrated Eminem and Dr. Dre’s video for Guilty Conscience (below). In 2004 and 2007, he provided a voice for the computer game, Half Life 2 and the Adult Swim hit, Robot Chicken, respectively. Clearly the man had a sense of humor about himself, and wanted to stay relevant in modern Hollywood.  Off screen, Culp was an animal and civil activist, who was most recently known for his efforts to oppose construction of an elephant exhibit at the LA Zoo.

For me, Robert Culp will always be that grumpy, lovable good-guy, Bill Maxwell.  Goodbye, old friend. I’ll miss you.  But I’ll never forget you.

http://www.youtube.com/v/Xbw_BxDwdjk&hl=en_US&fs=1&

Rest In Peace , , , ,

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