This week I crowdsourced a fabulous new Friday Five for you to enjoy … check it out!
I can’t decide between Downton Abbey and Homeland so I’m picking both! So let’s just say that it’s shows everyone raves about that I’m finally seeing. Yay for being cutting edge and relevant! Downton Abbey is like Pride and Prejudice meets a juicy soap opera. Mmmm, juicy. And Homeland is so good and complicated I have no idea who I’m supposed to root for. Mmmm, rooty. - Craig
For me , it’s a tie. 1), Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3 is now over, now more weekly blurbs or embarrassing weigh-in. And 2) I FINALLY GOT THE PURPLE LINE IN THE BC&RL3 WEIGHT LOSS GRAPH! I don’t care where I finished, getting the purple line means I won. So there! 
– Polt
My cool thing this week is seeing my first e-book cover with my name and the book title on it. Yes, I’ve had a couple of short stories, but the covers were generic, no names. This is the first time my name is on a specific cover. Yes, yes, there will be a few of us with the same cover for this particular series, but still – my name is right there, on his abs! Le sigh. He’s kind of pretty. So props to cover artist Reese Dante and I’m a bit thrilled to have a real cover. Fun stuff. (July 28 – buy it, make me rich!) – Tam
Cute animal videos. I don’t even want to know how much time I waste watching this nonsense. If you have 17 seconds to waste, this is for you: -Michelle M.One amazing five this week has to be yesterday’s ruling about the constitutionality of parts of the odiously named Defense of Marriage Act. The ruling doesn’t state that we lowly homos have the right to marry, but it does say that the Federal government doesn’t have the right to force the states to discriminate against us. The ruling will undoubtedly head to the Supreme Court….and given the controversy, it will be one of the final things they rule on in the next court session. Tune at the end of NEXT June for the results. Until then do what I am going to do, drink a celebratory toast and get married. – Mikey
That’s our Friday Five … What’s Yours?!
My new haircut looks something like this.
Much like the ‘Friday Five’, the ‘Thursday Four’ is an exploration of great things. …except there are four things instead of five. …and it’s Thursday and not Friday. …and it doesn’t really have the same ring as ‘Friday Five’. OH WELL! This week Michelle M. and I got together (figuratively, not literally) to present these four great things to you. Read ‘em and weep, suckers!
1. Grooming myself! (and having other people groom me.) This week I trimmed my beard really short, AND got a haircut! I look marvelous! I’d post a photo, but I’ve gotten so fat that I hardly look like myself anymore. (Hurray for BC&RL3!) Either that or I’m just super lazy tonight. ANYWAY — I love having a closely shorn head and face. Is that weird? -Adam
Fuck you, Chris Christie!
2. Chris Christie vetoed gay marriage! After I’ve finally gotten over the fact that he fired every teacher in NJ, I needed a new reason to hate that fat Republican fuck. And he did not disappoint — last week he vetoed gay marriage! Yay Chris Christie! Now I have a reason hate you forever. If I ever see you in person, I promise to spit on you. People just don’t spit on each other enough these days. Unless they need emergency lubrication — but that’s a whole ‘nother story. -Adam
3. Downton Abbey* – what a great show. Season two has just ended, but there will be a season three, and Shirley MacLaine will play Lady Cora’s mother. Yay! Here is a clip from Saturday Night Live if you haven’t been watching and would like a rundown on the show. – Michelle M.
They see me rollin', they hatin', patrollin' Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty.
4. And look! There are Downton Abbey paper dolls, in case you’re going through DA withdrawal like me. I love the faces for the Chicken Lady, er, Dowager Countess, O’Brien’s evil soap and Mr. Pamuk. – Michelle M.
Runners up: The Good Wife*, reusable shopping bags, complaining, spending other people’s money, liquid wart remover,lazy posts, pregnant ladies, selling crap on eBay, adorably tiny bottles of diet soda, eating like a pig before BC&RL3, and hardcore gay pornography.
That’s our Thursday Four … what’s yours?
*Why isn’t this show on Our T.V. Night??
Like every other gay person on the planet (or so it seemed — ugh! crowds!), I attended the NYC Pride Parade on Sunday. And guess what? I brought my camera! Here’s a whole bunch of photos…
(gay stormtrooper)
Old gay people on motorcycles!
Michael Bloomberg, Andrew Cuomo, and Sandra Lee.
(In case you’ve forgotten … that Sandra Lee.)
Dan Savage & Terry Miller
He thinks that he’s bringing back “raise the roof!“ What do you think?
Rickie Vasquez Wilson Cruz travels in a horse-drawn carriage!
A gay pride … of lions. Get it?
Yuck!
NY Senator Chuck Schumer
Meh, Obama.
Yuck! Topless girls!
And finally … it’s Zac Young from Top Chef: Just Desserts!
Too bad that I didn’t get a photo of the front of his head.
There’s one more photo that you’re going to love … but you can’t see it until Saturday.
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll introduce our fighters. We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
RAGGEDY ANN & ANDYDate of Birth: Raggedy Ann was created in 1915 as a doll and first appeared in a book in 1918. Her brother, Raggedy Andy first appeared in a book in 1920.
Place of Birth: the mind of Johnny Gruelle
Hair Color: bright red
Current Residence: The playroom
Relationship Status: siblings
Occupation: friendly dolls
Height & Weight: probably less than a pound each
Hobbies: singing, dancing, playing, adventuring, being nice
Favorite Yarn Color: bright red
Favorite Yarn Creation: each other!
Favorite Outfit: dress & apron; sailor suit & hat
Favorite Author: Johnny Gruelle
Favorite curse word: darn!
Raggedy Ann and her brother Raggedy Andy are fictional characters created by American writer Johnny Gruelle (1880–1938) in a series of books he wrote and illustrated for young children. The two siblings have appeared in countless books, a few television cartoons, and a feature film since 1918. Raggedy Ann and Andy are considered to be in the public domain, and there are countless versions of the dolls — both mass-produced and handmade in existence. In an unofficial C&R poll, we found that every grandmother in the United States owns at least one of the dolls. While you may think that these two unassuming dolls are weak and defenseless, you are wrong. Their secret weapons include a constant smile in the face of opposition, black dead button eyes, an army of countless clones (ready to hold your grandma hostage at the drop of a thimble), the willingness to cannibalize your clothes for body parts, opposable thumbs on mitten-style hands, and the utter lack of a soul.
MEL AKA / Alias: Cabezalana
Date of Birth: 02 Apr 1969
Place of Birth: Newberry, SC
Hair Color: Brown
Current Residence: Kittery Point, ME
Relationship Status: Gay-married with furchildren
Occupation: Veterinarian and Bringer of Doom
Height & Weight: 5’11″ & less than Kirstie Alley
Hobbies: Knitting, Dreaming of moving to Iceland
Favorite Yarn Color: Blue
Favorite Yarn Creation: My Icelandic lopapeysu
Favorite Outfit: Jeans & t-shirt, except when I wear my kilt
Favorite Author: David Sedaris
Favorite curse word: Fuck
Everyone’s favorite yarn-loving veterinarian from Maine is none other than Mel! C&R asked Mel for a few fun facts about himself, and here’s what he had to say: “I’m obsessed with eating enough fiber, I once pulled porcupine quills out of Stockard Channing’s dogs, I have never sent anyone a pic of my junk, I love spicy foods, drinking alcohol gives me a headache (which is why I only drink really good beer), buying lottery tickets at the 7-11 is one of the most lowbrow things I do, and I’ve been an ovolacto vegetarian for over 16 years.” His secret weapons include a kung-fu grip, quick tweeting fingers, a southern charm, razor sharp knitting needles and a seam-ripper, and top-notch culinary skills with a specialty in kickass salads.
Who will win in the battle of YARN PEOPLE vs. YARN LOVER? Will Raggedy Ann & Andy tag-team Mel and hold his elder relatives hostages? Or will Mel stab the smiling siblings with knitting needles and tear them apart? There’s only one rational way to decide which fighter will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want.That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to Mel & Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!
After I got too real about the homogays on Tuesday, you all decided to punish me with a resounding lack of comments. The silence was a deafening cacophony of crickets. My revenge upon you is another post about some gays, doing the gay things that I enjoy. Sadly it is not the hardcore gay porn you have all come to expect from Cocky & Rude, but rather stars of two of my favorite sitcoms professing their love for each other. Unfortunately for these two stars, they are not allowed to get married in the state that they both call home, because spineless state senators voted against gay marriage. It pains me to see burgeoning young love stifled by discrimination and hatred. Like many of you, I do not comprehend the arguments against gay marriage. Marriages in Connecticut, Massachusetts, Iowa, Spain, South Africa, and the other states or countries where gay marriage is legal have not fallen apart. Dogs did not breed with cats and the sky remains up in the right place. So why can’t these two gents get married?
I think I’ve said too much already. I should allow you to watch these brave stars going public about their love without my commentary. First we have the gingered styling of Jesse Tyler Ferguson.
http://www.youtube.com/v/BY3aTMc0aOk?fs=1&hl=en_US
Perhaps I was wrong about this being a star-crossed pair. I was told that these clips were about male on male loving, but it looks like Jesse’s heart was broken by that disembodied off-camera voice. I can feel his pain though. I too have a crush on the man from 30 Rock. Let’s see what he has to say in his defense.
http://www.youtube.com/v/t9TIjqGLcMw?fs=1&hl=en_US
Jesse your game is back on! I wish you and Alec all the best! Well…unless I can get him first! I will fight back too! The politicians of NY State made a big mistake when they voted to deny equal rights that gay, lesbian, and bisexual citizens of their state who want to marry their same-sex partners. With Alec by my side, I will walk right down that aisle and fight the homophobes.
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Sports are Stupid! Here’s 50 Things To Do Instead of Watching the Super Bowl…
1. Clip your toenails.
2. Organize your grocery store coupons.
3. Admire Polt’s ass.
4. Twiddle your thumbs.
5. Stare at the wall.
6. Watch the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.
7. Read a book.
8. Watch The Notebook to balance out the world.
9. Organize a box of Fruit Loops by color.
10. Call all your butch friends who are watching the Super Bowl, just to chat.
11. Roll pennies.
12. Watch paint dry.
13. Clean out your closet.
14. Stuff everything that you took out of your closet into another closet.
15. Alphabetize your DVDs.
16. Comb your back hair.
17. Go shopping.
18. Clean out your refrigerator.
19. Replace the batteries in your smoke detectors.
20. Clean the dead bugs out of your ceiling lamps.
21. Make sure that everything hanging in your home is perfectly level.
22. Tweeze your eyebrows.
23. Catch up on Glee.
24. Look up naked women on the Internet and ponder why vaginas are just so damn disgusting.
25. Actually read one of those m/m short stories that Tam is always reviewing.
26. Masturbate.
27. Watch grass grow.
28. Play solitaire.
29. Add hundreds of pointless life events to your Facebook timeline.
30. Organize your porn.
31. Prune your pubes.
32. Microwave random things until they explode.
33. Perfect a foreign accent.
34. Plot world domination.
35. Perform an interpretive dance of LMFAO‘s I’m Sexy and I Know It.
36. Bake and decorate a cake.
37. Plan your future wedding.
38. Go grocery shopping (the store will be EMPTY).
39. Re-read every C&R post and comment on all of them.
40. Actually visit Our T.V. Night (because no one ever does).
41. Build a sex machine.
42. Nap.
43. Compose a C&R guest post and email it to Adam.
44. Learn the beautiful art of flower arraigning.
45. Drink alcohol until you pass out.
46. Lick the black mold that’s growing on your bathroom wall.
47. Clean your house.
48. Exercise.
49. Go see a movie.
50. Dream up 50 more things that you could do instead of watching the Super Bowl.
Special thanks to Mikey and Craig for their assistance with this post.
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