Our twelfth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate twelve weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
BC&RL3 is almost over! What are the contestants going to do after the contest ends? Will they continue their diets or fall back into their old ways? Here’s what they had to say…
Mr. Sombrero
Ok I barely lost any weight but this contest opened my eyes and I realized how much I suck at it an need to take this whole weight-losing seriously. Since I always cram things last minute I hope that I can lose few more pounds by the end of this competition. I have few things lying around the house that can help me do that…
TwoPi
On the advice of my physician, I’ve quit caffeine completely. Next up: joining Weight Watchers online. Charles Barkley says I need to “learn to lose like a man”; I’m guessing he lost a bet or something, based on the photo above. Will WW push my weight loss past the 10% goal I set at the start of BC&RL3? Time will tell. I do know that I won’t end up looking like this photo though — Sir Charles has much better legs than I do.
Tam
Will I continue after this great contest is over? Yes. I’ve been a total slacker lately, but it’s always been there in the back of my mind, so it’s keeping me more honest than I might be otherwise. I have a trip to the UK in Sept. and losing some weight would be nice, so I think I’ll keep at it, even if I don’t have to check in every week. The way things were going before we started this, I would have been up as much as I’ve lost, so if nothing else, this brought my compulsive eating to a halt. I’ll keep slogging away. Congrats to Cupcake. Someday I shall be a cupcake, ’tis my fondest wish. (And I’m writing this before I know who wins, but I’m sure it’s Cupcake.)
Adam
Let’s face it, I’ve done horribly in this competition. But I’m going to change — I swear! Diet, exercise, willpower, and weight loss are all in my future! I hope…
Michelle M.
I’m about halfway to my goal, so I’m going to keep on dieting until I get there. Summer is coming and I want to fit into my shorts!
Ryan
I plan to continue after this, but I haven’t exactly been that diligent over the past few weeks. If I do my best to keep track of what I eat and make my exercise goals, I could hit my next weight goal sometime this summer. I don”t know if that will be the end because I’ve never been this lean in my life, so I have no idea where I want to end up. I think I might pick up running in the next couple of weeks. I’m at the point that walking longer doesn’t provide much of a challenge beyond finding the time.
Polt
This week, we’re to talk about Beyond BC&RL3. When this is over, I’ll not fall back into my old ways, cause I don’t want my doctor yelling at me. I got onto this diet I’m on because of her, and luckily it just happened to correspond with this competition. Weight loss, though, is only a secondary goal. My main goal is to get my sugar levels down. And that I’ll continue, hopefully, well after the contest. And in doing so, I’ll eventually end up all sleek, and svelte, and sexy-like. Just like this photo!
Mikey
The graph here is what I had hoped my weight loss would look like. It hasn’t yet, but I have started to lose weight again! Ty and I are continuing to two a few things to maximize our loss and minimize our waists: cooking healthier foods rather than doing the NYC thing of ordering in ALL THE TIME, substituting seltzer for tonic (don’t laugh…it works. I lost 5 lbs after making that small change), and trying to get more of the dreaded exercise.
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
Before we bid farewell to the 2011 Cocky Awards, we have one final award to hand out. Today, on the dawn of 2012, let’s join together to appreciate our final award recipient.
The 2011 Lifetime Achievement Cocky Award winner is none other than … POLT’S ASS!
With this award, we at Cocky & Rude pledge to always appreciate its nakedness, whiteness and utter flatness. Thought it is true that Polt’s ass has been the butt of many jokes here at Cocky & Rude, we also acknowledge that as bloggers, we respect and admire everything about it. And fear not — just because Polt’s ass has earned the 2011 Lifetime Achievement Cocky Award DOES NOT MEAN that we will retire the image in any way. We at C&R will strive to do Polt’s ass justice as we move forward into the future. Congratulations: Polt’s Ass. You truly earned it.
Now please stand as the 2011 Lifetime Achievement Cocky Award runner-up, Rebecca Black, performs an original composition to the tune of her smash single, Friday, entitled: Polt’s Ass.
Congratulations to Polt’s ass and all of the 2011 Cocky Award winners!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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Sports are Stupid! Here’s 50 Things To Do Instead of Watching the Super Bowl…
1. Clip your toenails.
2. Organize your grocery store coupons.
3. Admire Polt’s ass.
4. Twiddle your thumbs.
5. Stare at the wall.
6. Watch the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.
7. Read a book.
8. Watch The Notebook to balance out the world.
9. Organize a box of Fruit Loops by color.
10. Call all your butch friends who are watching the Super Bowl, just to chat.
11. Roll pennies.
12. Watch paint dry.
13. Clean out your closet.
14. Stuff everything that you took out of your closet into another closet.
15. Alphabetize your DVDs.
16. Comb your back hair.
17. Go shopping.
18. Clean out your refrigerator.
19. Replace the batteries in your smoke detectors.
20. Clean the dead bugs out of your ceiling lamps.
21. Make sure that everything hanging in your home is perfectly level.
22. Tweeze your eyebrows.
23. Catch up on Glee.
24. Look up naked women on the Internet and ponder why vaginas are just so damn disgusting.
25. Actually read one of those m/m short stories that Tam is always reviewing.
26. Masturbate.
27. Watch grass grow.
28. Play solitaire.
29. Add hundreds of pointless life events to your Facebook timeline.
30. Organize your porn.
31. Prune your pubes.
32. Microwave random things until they explode.
33. Perfect a foreign accent.
34. Plot world domination.
35. Perform an interpretive dance of LMFAO‘s I’m Sexy and I Know It.
36. Bake and decorate a cake.
37. Plan your future wedding.
38. Go grocery shopping (the store will be EMPTY).
39. Re-read every C&R post and comment on all of them.
40. Actually visit Our T.V. Night (because no one ever does).
41. Build a sex machine.
42. Nap.
43. Compose a C&R guest post and email it to Adam.
44. Learn the beautiful art of flower arraigning.
45. Drink alcohol until you pass out.
46. Lick the black mold that’s growing on your bathroom wall.
47. Clean your house.
48. Exercise.
49. Go see a movie.
50. Dream up 50 more things that you could do instead of watching the Super Bowl.
Special thanks to Mikey and Craig for their assistance with this post.
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