This year’s Bloggy Gift Exchange featured 25 bloggy friends, 24 awesome gifts, 2 countries, lots of smiles, lots of sugar, a few tears, a pack of Magnum condoms, and tons and tons more. Thanks to everyone for making this year’s gift exchange a huge success! We’re truly a classy bunch, and here’s the proof:
To: Mush
From: Nathan
…here’s my awesome nerdy gifts from bassoonist Nathan! Yay! It’s a virulent rabies plush and a sciency Doctor Who disappearing TARDIS mug! This photo image came out just the way I wanted it. YES THAT’S RABIES ON MY HEAD AND I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU. COFFEE? SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM? RAAAAAAAAAAAABIEEEEEES!
To: Polt
From: Tam
Tam had my name and she sent me a book about the quirks and histories of comic books and also a Dallas Cowboys garden gnome. Only thing that coulda made the gift better was to have it delivered by a Speedo-clad Asian Twinkie with a hairthing. This is the photo of me enjoying them both. HUGS…
To: Adam
From: Polt
Santa Polt (and his award-winning ass) sent me a box full of the world’s two best things: plaid and purple. Thanks to Polt, I can be cozy and formal with this super-warm hat and fantastic tie. I plan to wear them both as I spend many hours each night drawing pictures of Craig getting peed on or amassing enormous lists of blog post tags. Maybe this tie will help me land a great new high-paying job in the new year? I’m totally going to wear them both on my lumberjack interview next week! Fingers crossed that it pays well!
To: Mikey
From: FDot
FDot sent me this amazing life size TARDIS. Along with my dancing monkey fez, I think I make a very convincing Doctor. I also think I should use my TARDIS to go back in time and prevent myself from eating whatever it is that made me look so fat in this photo. I honestly do not care if doing so destroys the fabric of time.
To: Ty
From: VUBOQ
VUBOQ made me a beautiful mug and bowl. He also got me TWO varieties of Reese’s. I could only assume he wanted me to use it all to make a nutritious holiday breakfast.
To: Craig
From: Ty
My gift from Ty was titled Craig’s Sex-Mas Adventure! It was a three step process. First I was told that the clothes make the man, so he gave me this shirt and told me to put it on, then peel it off sexily. then he told me to spritz myself with cologne and dream of Cumming (Alan, that is), and finally I was taught that chocolate is a well known aphrodisiac and to sample these delicious chocolates to get in the mood. Once I finished the chocolates I was met with a horrific sight too reprehensible for words and I lost my hard-on immediately. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get it up again. Merry Christmas to me, I guess. 
To: Mel
From: Ryan
I got a phenomenally well-packed box from Ryan consisting of two types of cookies and a Christmas mix CD. The cookies were all painstakingly wrapped to arrive intact. I was singularly impressed, even though I’d have happily eaten crumbs.
To: Tam
From: Mr. Sombrero
My bloggy gift came from the wonderful Mr. Sombrero in “Jersey”. It was full of all kind of delightful things to eat from many different places. There was cherry jam from Croatia (which I ate on my bagel Christmas morning and it was delish), French cookies, British tea, chocolate from lots of place including some kind of potato chocolate thing from Idaho. 0_0 Chocolate poker chips and chocolate from Dylans, a gingerbread cookie that looks like a NYC cab, and a lolly with my initial on it. Now that I’ve taken the picture I’m looking forward to trying them all. Thanks so much for the fun foods, none of which I’ve tried before.
To: Kristen “The Kid”
From: Talita
So Talita was my secret Santa which was wonderful because everything she gave me was perfect! Included in my “care package” was two perfectly scented candles (cranberry pear Bellini and candied sugar plum), some nail polish, peppermint foot cream from Lush, spider man head phones (which I squealed over they were wonderful), some hot chocolate, tea, soap, some lip products and a cookie! It was wonderful, I love everything so much 
To: Jere
From: David P.
Here are photos of my gifts from David P. I would post pictures of myself enjoying the gifts like the booze and condoms (and I did enjoy them – I’ve been a naughty boy this holiday), but I’m afraid that you would use it as often as you use that picture of Polt’s ass. Sorry. The comic book magnet has a wonder woman costume malfunction joke that’s lost on me, but the chocolate covered stuff was yummy.
Note: the post-its in the photo are – alcohol: “because you like BOOZE”; chocolate: “because you like things covered in CHOCOLATE”; magnet – “because you are a comic book GEEK”; condoms – “because you have big FEET”
To: Michelle M.
From: Mikey
My gift came from Mikey. He sent two BIG bags of cookies, and a whole bunch of Hershey’s kisses. They were delicious and didn’t last long. And I should get major points for sharing with Harry. I also received these amazing Wonder Woman socks (complete with capes), perfect for fighting crime, reading in bed, attending a live action Wonder Woman movie, etc. I love(d) all my gifts – Thank you Mikey!!
To: John
From: Craig
I received my gifts from none other than Mr. Puntabulous himself: Craig! Here you can see the Christmas bunnies looking at the gifts Craig sent (and eyeing the Alfa-carrots). Craig sent me a card of bunnies avoiding the ark; which is part of a series on bunny deaths; it totally made me laugh! He sent me a cd of new Craig Christmas music. And piece de résistance: a dancing monkey t-shirt and pants.
I believe that this is Craig’s way of marking me as king of the dancing monkeys. Do not fear, I will be a benevolent ruler…All shall love me and DISPAIR!!!
Thanks Craig! I love my gifts! The carrots were tasty, the music fun and the pjs comfortable.
To: Ryan
From: Mush
I got this awesome package from Mush. It included two CDs (buddha-bar VIII by Sam Popat and Live in Las Vegas by Santa Fe and The Fat City Horns), Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood, and the Animatrix DVD. I haven’t had much of a chance to listen to the CDs because I’ve been inundated with new music and been busy with non-music listening activities, but what I’ve heard so far has me excited. It’s outside my usual genres, which is the hardest to find good new music. I’m also looking forward to reading the book. I really enjoyed Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale and was intending to explore her other work. I’m also looking forward to watching the collection of shorts exploring the time before the Matrix movies.
To: TwoPi
From: Jere
My Bloggy Gift giver was Jere. He gave me an Elvis beanie baby (from the Elvis Museum in Las Vegas!), and set me up with the ultimate in New Year’s Eve eye-wear for Times Square, or the local equivalent, a gathering of friends assessing Dick Clark’s ability to count backwards. Cajun chefs have their holy trinity of bell peppers, onions, and celery — for TwoPi, the holy trinity is Elvis, Vegas, and Purple — and no day can match their over-the-top glories better than New Year’s Eve! Fantastic!
To: Heather (Xi)
From: Justin
I got the most fabulous present from Justin: a replica of one of the original Education Monkey multiplication tools, invented in 1916 and named after Consul the performing monkey. You move the feet so that they point to two numbers at the bottom, and then the hands [yes, hands -- stop giggling] point to the product. I’ve never heard of this before, or seen anything like it, which makes it especially exciting. Thank you thank you thank you!
To: Chris D.
From: Michelle M.
Michelle M. gave me an amazing assortment of gifts! She gave me a candy cane, Charlie Brown Christmas CD, Peppermint Bark, a vintage Christmas postcard (from 1911, it is like a perfect little time capsule from a bygone era!), a Marcel the Shell with Shoes on book (I LOVE IT!), AND…… a Marcel the Shell with Shoes on figure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This made me smile a whole lot! Michelle M. is an amazing gift giver! 
To: Nathan
From: Chris D.
For my present I received, not one, but two beginner Japanese books! This was an amazing present for me because I’m hoping to actually go to Japan next year. Thanks so much to Chris for my fantastic gift. He even made me a little homemade ornament for the Christmas tree at home! An excellent gift.
To: Mr. Sombrero
From: Kristen “The Kid”
My gift from Santa “The Kid” Kristen was amaaaahzing and layered to satisfy all the senses! Not only did it include the best thing the Western civilization came up with – a box of Holiday edition Smarties (the Canadian ones, not the US kind; think M&M’s in a harder shell) – but also, and this is the even more awesome, a donation of a mango tree for school kids in Rwanda. Now that’s a global gift that keeps on giving. And to signify the donation, my gift also included a box of dried mangoes, yummmmmm… So Kristen, all I gotta say is… Urakooooze (that’s thank you in Rwandan.
Tam and Kristen also included a tin of delicious homemade vegan gingerbread cookies for me to share with Adam! Here are a few of our favorites:
To: VUBOQ
From: Adam
Photo One. This is me enjoying one of my many gifts from Adam – a book! Hot Guys and Baby Animals. Hot! Cute! Fun!
Photo Two. This is me …um… enjoying another gift from Adam – vegan beef jerky (tequila lime flavor). Delicious! (OK. Not really delicious. In fact, it was kind of gross).
Unfortunately, I don’t have a photo of me getting the taste of tequila lime vegan beef jerky out of my mouth with some truly yummerz dark chocolate! MMmmmm. Chocolate. I also don’t have photos of me taking a fun Unicorn Lavender Lotus Bubble Bath. Nor gleefully stamping “Who Cares” on all the crap my co-workers produce at work. But, those were other gifts from Adam that I totes *heart*.
To: David P.
From: Miley Cyrus & Enrico
I was the lucky recipient of a package hand-delivered by the amazingly talented Miley Cyrus, although what she was doing in Crown Heights is anyone’s guess. Oddly enough, inside the package were an assortment of gifts by the equally, if not more, amazing and talented but non-poll-dancing Enrico! As you can see, I was provided with two boxes of high-end macaroni and cheese mixes that I will be getting fat from shortly. Also among the loot were three Pulitzer prize-winning books (I’ve read one of them, but giving me something I can re-gift is a gift in and of itself) and I will definitely enjoy reading the other two over the next few months. And lastly, the pièce de résistance is the pack of nude male playing cards that will add a certain something special to my future games of solitaire. If you zoom into the photo, you can also make out the clever notes that were included with each present. Thank you so much, Miley! Oh, and you too, Enrico!
To: Enrico
From: John
My secret Santa got me two amazing presents! Knowing I’m a huge Miyazaki lover, he got me this Totoro thingy that I’m hanging on my wall as soon as I get a hammer. I’ve been meaning to read John Updike’s Rabbit, Run for years now, and now I can, since he also got me the novel and its first sequel, Rabbit Redux. I LOVE BOOKS AND TOTORO. Thanks John! After Michelle, you’re the best!!
To: Talita
From: Mel
I received amazing blueberry Jam, that was so delicious. A soy pine candle that smelled so good, I love soy candles they burn longer then regular candles. This candle added just the right amount of holidays to my house without being over whelming. My gift came packaged in awesome Christmas Tin!! Thanks for the great gifts Mel!!
To: FDot
From: Heather
I arrived home from my trip to Colorado to find a whole package of goodies awaiting me from Heather. Herein pictured are the goodies. 1 Post Office Priority Mail Box, no doubt chosen to hold everything else. 1 piece of Milk Chocolate, already eaten. 1 book of “Where Are They Buried?”, already perused and used to capture pictures for the next round of ‘Guess that Grave!”. 1 Electronic Rubik’s Cube Puzzle, opened and attempted. 1 packet of Punch Balloons, of which one has been inflated and punched repeatedly to relieve frustration from failing at the Rubik’s Cube puzzle. An extremely successful box of Christmas gifts, covering all I hoped for and making me very happy, as evidenced by the large smile I have on my face.
To: Justin
From: M Nico
If I’m looking a bit pouty it’s because Bloggy Santa left me empty handed this year. Don’t worry unduly I’m in intensive therapy for the *sniff* trauma *sob* No really I’ll be *chokes up* fine 
To: M Nico
From:TwoPi
M Nico has refused all attempts at communication and presumably did not send a gift to Justin. Many thanks to TwoPi for generously sending a gift to M Nico!! M Nico, we hope that you’re okay!!!
Once again, thanks to everyone for your participation in the 2011 Bloggy Gift Exchange!
Can’t get enough of our gift exchanging? Jump over to Josh Is Trashy to see our exchanges from 2010 and 2009.
Last week, Mr. Sombrero and I traveled to the great country of Canada! We had a great time in Montreal, hanging out with Tam & The Kid, seeing all of the sights, taking a day trip to Quebec City, sampling the local cuisine, making fun of the French-speaking locals, and partaking in all of the other great things that Canada has to offer.
Here are some of the highlights…
Mr. Sombrero stole an idea from Tam’s future NYC trip and opted for a short-term apartment rental in Montreal. For less than the cost of a hotel room, we had a spacious apartment with a full kitchen. Oh, and there was a bowl of potpourri that I quickly fashioned into a pair of penises.
Here’s The first day that we were there, we hung out with everyone’s favorite Canadians: Nathan and The Kid! … And Tam! The lady that took the photo of the group apparently couldn’t figure out how to take a photo with my camera, so I stole this photo from Tam’s site.
Canada has a chain of health food stores named Rachelle-Bery. Not to be confused with Rachel Berry from Glee.
The new season of Glee starts tonight! Woo!
Canada is perfect in every way, they even have Subway restaurants!
While we were there, we got to see a little of the Montreal Grand Prix bicycle race. Damn those bikes go fast!
The Montreal Tam-Tams are a drum circle based in Montreal, Canada. The free event gathers thousands of drum players, dancers, vendors and visitors, every Sunday, at the George-Étienne Cartier Monument in Mount Royal Park. The Tam-Tam festivities start at 1 pm and continue until sunset. Tam-Tams, or simply “tams” as they are sometimes called by locals, began in 1978 and over the years have become one of the main tourist attractions of the city. It’s basically a giant group of pot-smoking hippies, banging on drums and dancing in a cloud of marijuana smoke.
Here’s a parking kiosk with some colorful graffiti. Clearly that artist didn’t read my post.
At one restaurant that we went to, I was known as an “Ultra Vegetarian” — how cool is that?
In Canada, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups aren’t possessive! How weird!
On our second day, Mr. Sombrero and I took an Amphi-Bus tour around Old Montreal. Here’s a view of Molson building from the river.
Here I am making a creepy face. Check out my awful ginger ‘do!
In Old Montreal, they discourage swimming in the fountains.
Here’s a shot of the Notre-Dame Basilica in Old Montreal. Ooo pretty church!
The prices for stuff in Canada is all sorts of whack. There’s a comma where a decimal point should be! And the dollar sign is on the wrong side! WTF?
On our second day in Montreal, we took the metro to the other side of the city. It was the cleanest metro station I’ve ever seen! A minute after snapping this photo, the entire station was evacuated due to some sort of emergency. (It was all in French…)
We eventually made our way to Montreal’s Olympic Park where I made friends with this cute little kitty.
Our first stop in the Olympic Park area was the Montreal Biodôme. Here’s a photo of of a Capybara, the largest living rodent in the world. How freak’n cute is that giant rat!?
Here’s a photo of me getting my arm bitten off by an alligator! Sadly, it’s not the first time.
And odds are, it’s not the last.
My arm was not enough to satiate that awful beast! Next it bit off Mr. Sombrero’s head! Egads!
And finally, here’s some penguins. Because really, who doesn’t love to watch the penguins?
Are you bored yet? Too bad! My vacation photos continue tomorrow!
If there is one medium I could not live without, it would most definitely be film. Sure I watch tons of tv and I use the internet constantly, but I’ve gone without both of these things and come out the other side feeling just fine. Movies, however, will be with me where ever I go and whatever I do. I’m also a total snob about them. If I don’t like a movie, I won’t just tell you it was bad. Nope…that’s too mild. I will tell you that it “the film isn’t worth the celluloid it was printed on” or that “the film is like diarrhea: explosive and shitty.” The one thing I can’t do when it comes to movies is tell you my favorite movie. There are too many to choose from and for so many glorious reasons. And that ladies, gentlemen, and Adam is why I’m going to give you a list of ten of my most beloved movies of all time.
Citizen Kane
I know, I know…this is on every film buffs favorite movie list, but it’s there for all there right reasons. A very American story that is well acted, incredibly well written, and ground-breakingly directed. Movies will forever be divided into those that came before Citizen Kane and those that came after.
Grand Illusion
Only the French could make me love a war movie. This movie by Jean Renoir is methodical, metered, and memorable, but rather than shocking you with images of violence it tells a simple tale of humanity in the face of the worst war the world had ever seen.
It Happened One Night
You know that whole “meet cute” thing that romcoms try to force? Well this movie practically invented it. Filmmakers have been trying for years to get the chemistry the cast of It Happened One Night had. It doesn’t happen that often.
Annie Hall
I think I might be a younger, gay non-Jewish Woody Allen. That’s probably why I love his movies so much. Or it could be that they are hilarious and witty while commenting on current social values. Yeah…that’s it. And Annie Hall is all that and lot’s great 70s outfits.
Network
Have heard of this thing called reality television? Well, this movie presaged its arrival and what it would mean for the medium of television. Network is an amazing movie because the infotainment argument still exists and in many ways has gotten a lot worse.
Fargo
Minnesota/North Dakota accents, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi and a woodchipper are all you need to know about how awesome this dark comedy is.
Rear Window
I couldn’t leave Hitchcock off of my list and Rear Window earned its spot by being such a damn simple concept that freaks me out everytime I see it. Oh and Grace Kelly ain’t too shabby.
The Apartment
If we learn anything from the tv show Mad Men it is that husbands in the 60s needed a place to take their women on the side. Jack Lemon had just the place until he falls for the boss’s girl. They somehow even manage to make attempted suicide funny.
All About Eve
If you want to make it anywhere in show biz, you must watch this movie. It is an instructional guide for starlets of all shapes, sizes, and genders. It even makes you forget about Bette Davis’s enormous forehead.
Chinatown
Despite what you have heard, Faye Dunaway can act. She did so in this movie and I loved it. This seedy 1930′s set noir about the underbelly of Los Angeles is simply unforgettable.
So there you have my ten favorite movies of all time. Well at least the ten I wrote about today. Tomorrow I might have ten other favorites. Share your all time favorite movies and see if you can get me to add them to my list.
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Sports are Stupid! Here’s 50 Things To Do Instead of Watching the Super Bowl…
1. Clip your toenails.
2. Organize your grocery store coupons.
3. Admire Polt’s ass.
4. Twiddle your thumbs.
5. Stare at the wall.
6. Watch the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.
7. Read a book.
8. Watch The Notebook to balance out the world.
9. Organize a box of Fruit Loops by color.
10. Call all your butch friends who are watching the Super Bowl, just to chat.
11. Roll pennies.
12. Watch paint dry.
13. Clean out your closet.
14. Stuff everything that you took out of your closet into another closet.
15. Alphabetize your DVDs.
16. Comb your back hair.
17. Go shopping.
18. Clean out your refrigerator.
19. Replace the batteries in your smoke detectors.
20. Clean the dead bugs out of your ceiling lamps.
21. Make sure that everything hanging in your home is perfectly level.
22. Tweeze your eyebrows.
23. Catch up on Glee.
24. Look up naked women on the Internet and ponder why vaginas are just so damn disgusting.
25. Actually read one of those m/m short stories that Tam is always reviewing.
26. Masturbate.
27. Watch grass grow.
28. Play solitaire.
29. Add hundreds of pointless life events to your Facebook timeline.
30. Organize your porn.
31. Prune your pubes.
32. Microwave random things until they explode.
33. Perfect a foreign accent.
34. Plot world domination.
35. Perform an interpretive dance of LMFAO‘s I’m Sexy and I Know It.
36. Bake and decorate a cake.
37. Plan your future wedding.
38. Go grocery shopping (the store will be EMPTY).
39. Re-read every C&R post and comment on all of them.
40. Actually visit Our T.V. Night (because no one ever does).
41. Build a sex machine.
42. Nap.
43. Compose a C&R guest post and email it to Adam.
44. Learn the beautiful art of flower arraigning.
45. Drink alcohol until you pass out.
46. Lick the black mold that’s growing on your bathroom wall.
47. Clean your house.
48. Exercise.
49. Go see a movie.
50. Dream up 50 more things that you could do instead of watching the Super Bowl.
Special thanks to Mikey and Craig for their assistance with this post.
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