Once again I tossed C&R’s Friday Five out to the C&Rmy, and here’s what threw back.
It’s your Friday Five!
Booze Cruise! The fourth annual family booze cruise is tonight! And since my family actually gets along really well it’s always a lot of fun! It combines all of lifes greatest pleasures. Food! Booze! Old people dancing to Lady Gaga! Here’s a picture from last year. It was raining and we were all soaked by the end of the night, but we still had a great time! -Craig
Ummm my new blog post feat. Michelle M., Adam and Polt is great. -Enrico
Christian Bale Is At Your Party -Kristen
What made my week? Being mentioned TWICE in one C&R post: My name was uttered by a cute twinkie and my ass had a $100 bill sticking out of it. What could make ANY week better than that? -Polt
Scary Smash: The first episode of Written by a Kid. A kid’s monster story is brought to life by some people you might recognize. -Ryan
Watering my lawn. We came home from vacation and our front lawn is absolutely dead. We are in a drought situation here and the lawns are brown, brown, brown. Weirdly my fanatical neighbour (we share a tiny front lawn) has not been watering it. We have no water shortage so the city has actually started asking people to water their lawns so if there is fire there is less dry grass to go up. So last night I bought a new hose and today my landlord replaced my spigot in the garage and I watered my grass so if I keep it up every day I’ll have new green grass soon. I hope.
Honest to god, it looks like the grass on the left but with a smattering of green weeds. -Tam
Now that I’m all caught up with Breaking Bad (sadness), I need something new to fill the empty hours of my existence. Harry and I just started watching Dexter. We’re almost done with Season 1. So far it’s been entertaining. Here’s a quiz to find out which Dexter character you are. My results were Vince (which I don’t agree with – but, whatever). -Michelle
On July 4th, my mother took my grandparents (her parents) to a breakfast buffet. It wasn’t very crowded — there were probably 40 empty tables in the restaurant. The three of them were enjoying their meal until my mother’s attention was drawn to a woman at a neighboring table. She was noticeably agitated while her husband and young son were shoveling their faces full of food.
“Excuse me! Excuse me! EXCUSE ME!!” yelled the woman.
“Yes…?” questioned my mother.
“I’m trying to eat over here and he’s disgusting! He’s blowing his nose! IT’S DISGUSTING!” the woman said.
“What??” My mother was appalled.
“I’m trying to eat and he’s blowing his nose! DISGUSTING!!” She covered her mouth as if she was seconds from vomiting.
My mother responded with something completely inadequate along the lines of “Don’t worry about it, we’re leaving soon.” What makes the whole situation even more upsetting to me is that my grandparents are both hard-of-hearing (they’re in their late 80s/early 90s) and they didn’t even hear the woman.
“What did she say?” my grandmother asked. My mom repeated it to them.
“Oh…” said my grandfather, feeling embarrassed and a bit defeated. Picture a nice old man sitting at a table, quietly blowing his nose into a handkerchief. Is that scene really so horribly offensive?
When my mom told me the story, I was enraged. How dare that woman cross my grandfather? My mother should have cursed her out and then dumped the woman’s plate into her lap. If I were there, my response would have included at least three choice expletives. Then perhaps I would have spit into her face. People just don’t spit on each other enough these days.
Is public (and covered) nose blowing a disgusting offense? Or was that bitch just a bully? Tell me how you’d react!
OMG! Did you know that we missed National Business Etiquette Week? It was June 3rd – 9th. DAMMIT! That’s usually the only week a year that I behave myself at work. I guess I’ll just have to wait until next year. Do you have good business etiquette? Let’s find out!
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever…1. Have you ever farted loudly at work?
2. Have you ever burped loudly at work?
3. Have you ever pooped your pants at work?
4. Have you ever cursed at a coworker?
5. Have you ever been cursed at by a coworker?
6. Have you ever hung up the telephone on a coworker?
7. Have you ever hung up the telephone on a client/supplier/customer?
8. Have you ever stunk up the office with your nasty smelling food?
9. Have you ever eaten someone else’s food out of the office fridge?
10. Have you ever hogged the work microwave for 5 minutes warming up frozen food?
11. Have you ever borrowed office supplies off of a coworkers desk and not returned them?
12. Have you ever finished the office coffee and not made another pot?
13. Have you ever left the copier jammed after you jammed it?
14. Have you ever stolen office supplies from the office for home use?
15. Have you ever been reprimanded for not adhereing to the dress code at work?
16. Have you ever clogged the toilet at work and not tell anyone?
17. Have you ever snuck out of the office early and not tell anyone?
18. Have you ever used your lunch hour to interview for another job?
19. Have you ever complained about your job on facebook while at your job?
20. Have you ever physically struck a coworker?
21. Have you ever been physically struck by a coworker
22. Have you ever sexually harassed a coworker?
23. Have you ever been sexually harassed by a coworker?
24. Have you ever been sexually harassed by your boss?
25. Have you ever had sex with a coworker?
Tell us your total in the comments!
Once upon a time my favorite food was the french fry. When I was a kid, if we went to a fast food restaurant, my go-to meal would be two large fries and a chocolate shake (yikes). Back then, fries were delicious, greasy and salty. Nothing like the “healthier” fries of today (which are hard, dry and tasteless). Why they are trying to make fries “healthier” is a mystery to me. If I wanted to eat something nutritious, it wouldn’t be french fries in the first place.
After eating a few too many dud spuds, I decided to see if there were any good fries out there.
What follows is my quest for the perfect fry.
McDonald’s – Not bad. Not great. They’re best if they’re fresh from the fryer. And you have to eat them before they become cold and hard.
Jack in the Box – They taste almost exactly like McDonald’s.
Burger King – Too crisp, too dry.
Wendy’s – “Natural cut” fries. Too crispy and dry. The sea salt didn’t adhere.
Islands – They’re cut fresh daily and supposedly “cooked to perfection.” If “perfection” means so dry the salt bounces off them, then I guess they are. I wouldn’t order them again.
T.G.I. Friday’s used to have some pretty good fries – with a yummy seasoning. But not anymore.
Pass.
Chili’s – meh.
Carl’s Junior – I need some more adjectives for “dry” and “tasteless”.
Callahan’s – We usually just go here for the beer. If I have enough to drink, I usually want some french fries. Theirs are okay. But only if they’re fresh from the fryer. The cajun spice helps.
Applebee’s – Maybe the best of the bunch. Not fantastic, but not disappointing.
Arby’s – they only have the curly fries in my location (which are almost an entirely different animal, due to the seasoning), but I tried them anyway. They were greasy (which is good) but had been in the fryer a little too long (which made them too hard). I couldn’t taste the seasoning on my batch at all.
Brazen BBQ in Hillcrest – Man, were these bad. They were like the potato sticks you buy in a can from the grocery store. Sadness.
Brewski’s is a little hamburger place in my neighborhood. The burgers are good, but the fries aren’t.
Fatburger – The fat fries are pretty good. But only fresh from the fryer. You can see in the picture the shine of grease on the fry. That is always a good sign.
Five Guys – I went here with Ryan. They give you a TON of fries, which is great. And from the picture, they look nice and greasy. I was too busy yapping to remember how they tasted. I know I didn’t finish them all, but that was due to trying not too look like a pig in front of the svelte Ryan, and not because of the taste.
Red Robin – Pretty good when fresh. But not outstanding. They say the baskets of fries are “endless”, but they only put in about 5 at a time.
Sammy’s Woodfired Pizza – Dry, tasteless and disappointing. Boo.
SeaWorld – Surprisingly good. You have to eat them quickly, before the sea gulls try to swipe them.
Smashburger – These fries were horrible. So bland and dry. I didn’t even want to finish them. I threw about half of them away.
In-N-Out – Their fries are cut right in front of you, so you’d think they’d be fresh and delicious. But they’re just hard little bits of tasteless potato.
Fuddruckers fries are pretty darn good. They’re nice and soft and have a tasty seasoning on them.
Sonic – They were good. There were a few really good soggy, greasy ones in there.
As you can see, this Sonic fry passes the flaccid test.
Now that I’ve sampled so many of the fries in my area, I’ve come to the conclusion that the perfect fry no longer exists. And that french fries are no longer my favorite food. And that I need to start eating salad.
This post is dedicated to Fat Betty.
So what french fries are good in your neck of the woods? Do you think I’ll ever eat a french fry again? Did you read this whole post? It was really long. What is your favorite food? Let me know in comments!
National Camping Month was first observed in June of 2009, and helps to inspire Americans of all ages to go camping. June is also the Obama Administration’s Great Outdoors Month, and on the 23rd of this month, families all over the United States will celebrate the Great American Backyard Campout. Have you ever gone camping? What have you done while camping? Let’s find out!
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever?!1. Have you ever gone camping?
2. Have you ever gone camping at a campground?
3. Have you ever gone camping in a backyard?
4. Have you ever gone camping in the wilderness?
5. Have you ever slept in a tent inside your home?
6. Have you ever slept outside under the stars?
7. Have you ever started a campfire?
8. Have you ever told scary stories around a campfire?
9. Have you ever sung camp songs around a campfire?
10. Have you ever cooked food over a campfire?
11. Have you ever made s’mores around a campfire?
12. Have you ever eaten beans right out of the can while camping?
13. Have you ever eaten fish you caught while camping?
14. Have you ever been awoken by wild animals outside your tent while camping?
15. Have you ever had to run away from wild animals while camping?
16. Have you ever pooped outside?
17. Have you ever had to use something other than toilet paper after pooping outside?
18. Have you ever camped outside during a thunderstorm?
19. Have you ever ended a camping trip early because you couldn’t handle it?
20. Have you ever been bitten by a snake while camping?
21. Have you ever drank alcohol while underage, while camping?
22. Have you ever smoked pot while camping?
23. Have you ever secretly masturbated while others were sleeping in your tent?
24. Have you ever participated in a circle jerk while camping?
25. Have you ever had sex in a tent?
Tell us your total in the comments!
Thanks to Craig for his help with this post!
 | Tasha on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Vagina. on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | goblinbox on Biggest C&R Loser 201… |
 | Order Now! Fool Me T… on Commenter Cocktails! |
 | Jones sabo and maybe… on What Animal Are You? |
 | MsElenath on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
Stuff I daydream about.
Life is harsh. Sometimes the best thing to do is slip into a nice daydream. Here’s just some of the stuff I like to imagine while I’m stargazing, woolgathering or just plain avoiding reality.
My most frequent daydream is of winning the mega millions lottery.
But The Publisher’s Clearing House prize would do just fine. I’m not picky.
After I win my millions, Harry and I will travel. Some of the places I fantasize about going to are Fiji (or any tropical island, really), Santorini, Austria, Australia, The U.K., Copenhagen and Belgium (I hear they make a good french fry…).
I like to pretend that I’m a ballerina. And not just a ballerina, but a prima ballerina assoluta.
I also like to daydream that I’m a singer/songwriter with a multi-octave range.
Here I am performing at one of my sold out concerts.
One of my favorite sports is figure skating. I like to imagine what music I would skate to, what costumes I would wear and what it would feel like to win an Olympic gold medal (in my head I have also won the gold in equestrian events, diving, skiing and gymnastics).
Have you heard? I’m (supposed to be) writing a novel. Of course, I like to think it will be a #1 best selling book. It will, of course, be optioned for a movie. And I’ll have so much fun traveling around the country staying in 5 star hotels and doing book signings. Make sure you come out to see me when I come to a bookstore near you!
Naturally I’ll win a best screenplay Oscar when I adapt my book for film. I’ll receive a standing ovation for my humble and humorous, yet touching acceptance speech.
Once I win the Oscar, maybe they’ll give me a whack at writing that Wonder Woman movie I’ve been waiting for…
All my daydreams aren’t frivolous, though. Sometimes I pretend that I’ve come up with the cure for cancer, paralysis or any other number of illnesses/diseases. The Nobel prize, Time cover for Person of the Year, money and accolades will all be secondary to the knowledge that I am helping the human race.
Some of my daydreams are actually attainable. I often wish that my house was sparkling clean, my laundry and ironing is all done, the cupboards and refrigerator are filled with food, and I’m at my goal weight. Then I can completely relax while watching movies and reading a stack of books guilt-free.
So what do you like to daydream about? Flying to the moon? Scoring the game winning touchdown? Being the homecoming queen? Stealing Mr. Sombrero away from Adam? Let me know in comments!
Rate this:
Share this:
Like this: