Tag Archives: feces

Urinalysis

Not too long ago, Mikey linked me to an amusing chart that’s been circulating the net.
Behold, the Boy Scouts of America’s Urine Color Chart:

Normally I avoid all things BSA (because, well, I’m not “morally straight“) but this
was too good to pass up.  Of course, I had to make a few additions to the color chart.
I’m sure these will all be included in the next edition of the Boy Scout handbook.

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Have You Ever… Shat?!

Shat – past tense of shit Verb.
1. vulgar. Expel feces from the body.
2. vulgar. Soil one’s clothes as a result of expelling feces accidentally.

The rules to Have You Ever?! are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever shat in a toilet?
2. Have you ever shat because you were scared?
3. Have you ever shat while reading?
4. Have you ever shat while sending a text message?
5. Have you ever shat while talking on the telephone?
6. Have you ever shat while surfing the Internet?
7. Have you ever shat while watching TV?
8. Have you ever shat while tweeting?
9. Have you ever shat so much that it clogged a toilet in your own home?
10. Have you ever shat so much that it clogged a toilet in someone else’s home?
11. Have you ever shat so much that it clogged a toilet in a public restroom?
12. Have you ever shat on the side of the road?
13. Have you ever shat in a porta-potty?
14. Have you ever shat in an outhouse?
15. Have you ever shat in the woods?
16. Have you ever shat in your pants by accident?
17. Have you ever shat your pants because you couldn’t get to the bathroom fast enough?
18. Have you ever shat your pants while driving?
19. Have you ever shat into your hand?
20. Have you ever shat in a shower or bathtub?
21. Have you ever shat in a brown paper bag with the intent to light it on fire on someone’s doorstep?
22. Have you ever shat during sex?
23. Have you ever shat while receiving or performing fellatio (or cunnilingus) on the toilet?
24. Have you ever shat while having sex on the toilet?
25. Have you ever shat onto someone else?

Now go take a shit, wipe, pull up your pants, wash your hands, come back to the computer, and then tell us your total in the comments!


Have You Ever … On Thanksgiving?!

Woohoo, today is Thanksgiving!  Are you spending the day with your family?  Watching the parade?  Stuffing your face with dead animals?  Falling asleep early because you’re stoned out of your mind on tryptophan?  Need a break from all that crap?  Instead of a fourth slice of pumpkin pie, teat yourself to a Thanksgiving-themed Have You Ever?! quiz!  Yayyz!

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever spent a Thanksgiving away from your family?
2. Have you ever celebrated Thanksgiving alone?
3. Have you ever attended the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City?
4. Have you ever sat through the entire Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on television?
5. Have you ever watched football on Thanksgiving?
6. Have you ever come out of the closet to anyone during Thanksgiving dinner?
7. Have you ever cried on Thanksgiving?
8. Have you ever made your mom cry on Thanksgiving?
9. Have you ever been forced (or forced others) to recite what they’re grateful for?
10. Have you ever single-handedly cooked a Thanksgiving dinner?
11. Have you ever not eaten turkey on Thanksgiving?
12. Have you ever slid jellied cranberry sauce out of a can?
13. Have you ever dropped a dish while bringing it to the table OR while passing it around the table?
14. Have you ever needed to find an open supermarket on Thanksgiving because you (or someone else) forgot or messed something up?
15. Have you ever consumed at least two forkfuls of EVERY dish on the table?
16. Have you ever eaten an entire pie in one sitting?
17. Have you ever fallen asleep mid-Thanksgiving dinner due to a tryptophan overdose?
18. Have you ever ate so much on Thanksgiving that you felt sick?
19. Have you ever vomited after eating Thanksgiving dinner?
20. Have you ever clogged the toilet after taking a massive Thanksgiving dump?
21. Have you ever gotten drunk on Thanksgiving?
22. Have you ever gotten high on Thanksgiving?
23. Have you ever given a hand or blow job underneath the Thanksgiving table?
24. Have you ever received a hand or blow job underneath the Thanksgiving table?
25. Have you ever had sex (any kind) on Thanksgiving?

Well?  HAVE YOU?  Tell us your total in the comments.

Michelle M. mailed me poop

Have You Ever… Tasted A Friend?!

Two weeks ago we asked you about your self-consumption habits.  Now it’s time to heat up your fava beans and pop open a bottle of chianti.  Have you ever tasted someone else?  Let’s find out. The rules are the same as they always are. For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments section.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever tasted someone else’s blood?
2. Have you ever tasted someone else’s boogers?
3. Have you ever tasted someone else’s ear wax?
4. Have you ever tasted someone else’s sweat?
5. Have you ever tasted someone else’s saliva?
6.
Have you ever consumed someone else’s fingernails?
7. Have you ever consumed someone else’s toenails?
8. Have you ever licked someone else’s hand?
9. Have you ever licked someone else’s foot?
10. Have you ever licked someone else’s private parts?
11. Have you ever consumed someone else’s hair?
12. Have you ever consumed someone else’s scab?
13. Have you ever tasted someone else’s acne pus?
14. Have you ever tasted someone else’s tears?
15. Have you ever consumed flakes of someone else’s dry skin?
16. Have you ever pulled off and consumed bits of someone else’s skin?
17. Have you ever pulled off and consumed bits of someone else’s scalp?
18. Have you ever tasted someone else’s urine?
19. Have you ever tasted someone else’s feces?
20. Have you ever tasted someone else’s semen?
21. Do you consume someone else’s semen on a regular basis?
22. Have you ever tasted someone else’s vaginal fluids?
23. Have you ever tasted someone else’s menstrual fluids?
25. Have you ever bitten into someone’s flesh?
25. Have you ever been diagnosed, treated and/or arrested for cannibalism?

When you’re finished feeding off of your neighbor, tell us your total in the comments!

Have You Ever… Tasted Yourself?!

So how did you spend your Valentine’s Day?  Out and about with the one you love?  Or maybe you sat at home and cried while furiously masturbating and eating chocolates that you bought yourself on clearance at WalMart?  Who cares!  It’s a new day, and here at C&R we don’t judge you!  We love all of our readers the same (except for Michelle M., who we love just a little bit more than the rest of you).  So in the spirit of non-judgment, it’s time to embark upon what may be the most disgusting Have You Ever?! quiz since our last incredibly disgusting Have You Ever?! quiz! That’s right — today we’re going to ask you about your deep, dark self-consumption secrets.  The rules are the same as they always are. For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments section.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever tasted your own blood?
2. Have you ever tasted one of your own boogers?
3.
Do you consume your own boogers on a regular basis?
4. Have you ever tasted your own ear wax?
5. Have you ever purposefully tasted your own sweat?
6. Have you ever consumed your own fingernails?
7. Have you ever consumed your own toenails?
8. Have you ever licked your hand?
9. Have you ever licked your foot?
10. Have you ever purposely consumed your own hair?
11. Have you ever consumed a scab?
12. Do you consume your own scabs on a regular basis?
13. Have you ever tasted your own acne pus?
14. Have you ever tasted your own tears?
15. Have you ever consumed flakes of your own dry skin?
16. Have you ever pulled off and consumed bits of your skin?
17. Have you ever pulled off and consumed bits of your own scalp?
18. Have you ever tasted your own urine?
19. Have you ever tasted your own feces?
20. Have you ever tasted your own semen?
21. Do you consume your own semen on a regular basis?
22. Have you ever tasted your own vaginal fluids?
23. Have you ever tasted your own menstrual fluids?
24. Have you ever injured yourself to the point of needing medical attention after removing and consuming a piece of your own body?
25. Have you ever been diagnosed and/or treated for problems stemming from self-cannibalism?

When you’re finished eating yourself, tell us your total in the comments!

The Great Cocky & Rude Purity Test

How pure are you… really?  There’s only one way to find out!  Below is a list of 100 questions.  For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point.  When you reach #100, add up your points, and post your total in the comments section.  Then we’ll all know the truth!

HAVE YOU EVER…

1. Masturbated?
2. Been caught masturbating?
3. Masturbated in front of a pet?
4. Purchased print pornography?
5. Purchased video pornography?
6. Looked at pornography on the Internet?
7. Stored more than 26.13 GB of porn on your computer?
8. Masturbated in a public restroom?
9. Masturbated outdoors?
10. Masturbated while steering a moving vehicle?
11. Paid for Internet pornography?
12. Tasted your own orgasmic liquids?
13. Inserted your finger into your rectum?
14. Performed oral sex on yourself? (Or tried REALLY hard to reach?)
15. Masturbated with a piece of fruit or vegetable?
16. Committed an act of exhibitionism (like moon, streak, or flash)?
17. Shaved your pubic hair?
18. Gone skinny dipping?
19. Been on a date?
20. Been on a blind date?
21. Told someone that you loved them?
22. Been out on a date later than 1am?
23. Kissed on the first date?
24. Had or given a hickey?
25. Kissed for more than 2 hours consecutively?
26. Been naked with another person?
27. Been naked and sexually aroused in front of another person?
28. Had oral sex on the first date?
29. Had vaginal sex on the first date?
30. Had anal sex on the first date?
31. Given or received oral sex?
32. Given or received vaginal sex?
33. Given or received anal sex?
34. Had sex without a condom?
35. Had sex with a virgin?
36. Had sex in a car?
37. Had sex while a pet stared at you?
38. Had sex underwater (pool, bath tub, etc.)?
39. Sniffed someone else’s underwear?
40. Stolen someone else’s underwear?
41. Worn someone else’s underwear?
42. Masturbated with another person in the room?
43. Mutually masturbated with another person?
44. Given or received oral sex in a moving car?
45. Had sex with multiple partners at the same time?
46. Hooked up with someone from the Internet for just sex?
47. Had sex with more than 1 person in a single day?
48. Had anonymous sex?
49. Tasted someone else’s semen?
50. Given or received analingus?
51. Cheated on your partner?
52. Been engaged or married?
53. Committed adultery?
54. Had sex in public?
55. Been caught having sex?
56. Gone 69?
57. Impregnated a woman, or been pregnant?
58. Given birth to, or fathered a child?
59. Used a sex toy?
60. Had sex with a minor?
61. Committed incest?
62. Engaged in bondage?
63. Given or received a fist, either vaginally or anally.
64. Committed bestiality?
65. Been tested for a sexually transmitted disease or infection?
66. Had an sexually transmitted disease or infection?
67. Tasted your own urine?
68. Peed on someone else?
69. Tasted someone else’s urine?
70. Tasted your own feces?
71. Tasted someone else’s feces?
72. Defecated somewhere other than a toilet?
73. Defecated on someone else?
74. Gone to a strip club?
75. Paid a prostitute for sex?
76. Received payment for sex?
77. Attended a peep show?
78. Visited a bath house, orgy club, or similar sex party?
79. Called a sex line?
80. Been drunk?
81. Been so drunk that you blacked out?
82. Been so drunk that you passed out?
83. Smoked tobacco?
84. Smoked pot or hashish?
85. Used cocaine?
86. Used LSD, PCP, heroin or Mushrooms?
87. Huffed an inhalant?
88. Shoplifted?
89. Plagiarized?
90. Punched someone in the face?
91. Kicked a guy in the testicles?
92. Stolen?
93. Bounced a check?
94. Killed an animal?
95. Committed breaking and entering?
96. Been ticketed for a moving violation?
97. Murdered someone either on purpose or by accident?
98. Been arrested?
99. Spent a night or more in jail?
100. Lied on this purity test?

Don’t forget to post your results in the comments, you filthy, impure slut!

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