Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll introduce our fighters. We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
THE MUFFIN MANAKA / Alias / Nicknames: Mister Muffin
Date of Birth: 1820
Place of Birth: England
Nationality: British
Hair Color: dark, balding
Current Residence: Drury Lane
Relationship Status: unknown
Occupations (current and/or past): Baker, Man
Height & Weight: unknown
Favorite song: The Muffin Man
Favorite Food: muffins
Favorite Muffin Flavor: all
Favorite Cupcake Flavor: none
Known for: baking muffins, living on Drury Lane
Catch Phrases: “Do you know the Muffin Man?”
Claim to Fame: living on Drury Lane
Favorite curse word: Drury
Do [or "Oh, do"] you know the muffin man, The muffin man, the muffin man, Do you know the muffin man, Who lives in Drury Lane? Yes [or "Oh, yes"], I know the muffin man, The muffin man, the muffin man, Yes, I know the muffin man, Who lives in Drury Lane. The Muffin Man’s secret weapons include: an endless supply of muffin, ovens set to 350°, cast iron muffin pans, and a mustache.
RYANAKA / Alias / Nicknames: Cupcake, Ryan With A Cupcake
Date of Birth: 12/15/1981
Place of Birth: Rochester, MN
Nationality: United States
Hair Color: Brown
Current Residence: La Jolla, CA
Relationship Status: Single
Occupations (current and/or past): Student
Height & Weight: 6’5″ & 81% of January 1st Ryan
Favorite Song: The Downtown Fiction – Thanks for Nothing
Favorite Food: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream
Favorite Muffin Flavor: Apple Cinnamon
Favorite Cupcake Flavor: Red Velvet
Known for: Geeking out over physics/science, buying things Craig likes (except Transformers), picture of an insane robot dog
Favorite curse word: Bollocks
Who will win in the battle of MUFFIN vs. CUPCAKE? Will the Muffin Man beat Ryan over the head with a cast iron muffin pan? Or will Ryan defeat the Muffin Man with the powers of science? There’s only one rational way to decide which fighter will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to both Ryan & Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll introduce our fighters. We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
STEPHEN HAWKINGFull Name: Stephen William Hawking
Date of Birth: 8 January 1942 (age 69)
Place of Birth: Oxford, England
Hair Color: Brown & Gray
Current Residence: England
Relationship Status: Jane Hawking (m. 1965–1991, divorced), Elaine Mason (m. 1995–2006, divorced)
Occupation: theoretical physicist and cosmologist
Hobbies: science
Favorite Song: this
Awards: Wolf Prize (1988), Prince of Asturias Award (1989), Copley Medal (2006), Presidential Medal of Freedom (2009)
Fields of study: Applied mathematics, Theoretical physics, Cosmology
Alma Mater: University of Oxford, University of Cambridge
Known for: Black holes, Theoretical cosmology, Quantum gravity, Hawking radiation
Favorite method of transportation: motorized wheelchair
Stephen William Hawking, CH, CBE, FRS, FRSA (born 8 January 1942)is an English theoretical physicist and cosmologist, whose scientific books and public appearances have made him an academic celebrity. He is an Honorary Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts, a lifetime member of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences,and in 2009 was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the United States. Hawking’s key scientific works to date have included providing, with Roger Penrose, theorems regarding gravitational singularities in the framework of general relativity, and the theoretical prediction that black holes should emit radiation, which is today known as Hawking radiation (or sometimes as Bekenstein–Hawking radiation). Hawking has a motor neurone disease that is related to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a condition that has progressed over the years and has left him almost completely paralyzed. While Hawking may be severely physically handicapped, he possesses a number of very powerful secret weapons. His motorized wheelchair is armed with highly advanced weaponry, his brain is nearly 1000 times more intelligent than the average human being, and he can tear apart the universe with a single (robot-voiced) word.
TY CONEAKA / Alias / Nicknames: Tyrone, Tycoon, Ty Cobb, Diana Prince (shhh!)
Date of Birth: Sunday, March 5. I am between 30 and 40 years old. You can now figure out my birth year.
Place of Birth: 26.725N by 80.052W
Hair Color: Umm…
Current Residence: Our apartment
Relationship Status: stomach-churningly Desperately in love with Mikey
Occupation: Telling a federal judge what to do.
Height & Weight: 0.93 Craigs tall/weight appropriate for 1.05 Craigs tall
Hobbies: Finding the Higgs boson before the competition, understanding and correctly using bathos, tickling Mikey
Favorite Song: Anything and everything by They Might Be Giants. Except Istanbul (Not Constantinople). SOOOO overplayed.
Awards: Best Picture of an Airplane (1st grade), Honor Camper — Boy (3rd grade), National Merit Scholar (12th grade), $25,405 (33rd grade)
Fields of study: Sally, W.C., Mrs.
Alma Mater: University of Virginia
Known for: Southern gentility, parodic names based on “Vagina”
Favorite method of transportation: Invisible jet (shhh!)
Claim to Fame: Knowing lots of stuff
Favorite curse word: Buggar!
Who will win in the battle of BRAIN vs. BRAIN? Will Stephen Hawking destroy Ty by tearing the entire universe apart? Or will Ty wither Hawking with his sarcasm and condescension and then shove his motorized wheelchair off a cliff? There’s only one rational way to decide which fighter will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to Ty & Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!
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Stuff I daydream about.
Life is harsh. Sometimes the best thing to do is slip into a nice daydream. Here’s just some of the stuff I like to imagine while I’m stargazing, woolgathering or just plain avoiding reality.
My most frequent daydream is of winning the mega millions lottery.
But The Publisher’s Clearing House prize would do just fine. I’m not picky.
After I win my millions, Harry and I will travel. Some of the places I fantasize about going to are Fiji (or any tropical island, really), Santorini, Austria, Australia, The U.K., Copenhagen and Belgium (I hear they make a good french fry…).
I like to pretend that I’m a ballerina. And not just a ballerina, but a prima ballerina assoluta.
I also like to daydream that I’m a singer/songwriter with a multi-octave range.
Here I am performing at one of my sold out concerts.
One of my favorite sports is figure skating. I like to imagine what music I would skate to, what costumes I would wear and what it would feel like to win an Olympic gold medal (in my head I have also won the gold in equestrian events, diving, skiing and gymnastics).
Have you heard? I’m (supposed to be) writing a novel. Of course, I like to think it will be a #1 best selling book. It will, of course, be optioned for a movie. And I’ll have so much fun traveling around the country staying in 5 star hotels and doing book signings. Make sure you come out to see me when I come to a bookstore near you!
Naturally I’ll win a best screenplay Oscar when I adapt my book for film. I’ll receive a standing ovation for my humble and humorous, yet touching acceptance speech.
Once I win the Oscar, maybe they’ll give me a whack at writing that Wonder Woman movie I’ve been waiting for…
All my daydreams aren’t frivolous, though. Sometimes I pretend that I’ve come up with the cure for cancer, paralysis or any other number of illnesses/diseases. The Nobel prize, Time cover for Person of the Year, money and accolades will all be secondary to the knowledge that I am helping the human race.
Some of my daydreams are actually attainable. I often wish that my house was sparkling clean, my laundry and ironing is all done, the cupboards and refrigerator are filled with food, and I’m at my goal weight. Then I can completely relax while watching movies and reading a stack of books guilt-free.
So what do you like to daydream about? Flying to the moon? Scoring the game winning touchdown? Being the homecoming queen? Stealing Mr. Sombrero away from Adam? Let me know in comments!
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