I admit it! I’m spent! I’ve written WAY too many blog entries in a row. Seriously! I’ve written (and Mikey will dispute this because he helped a little with this week’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser) the last eight posts! Ack! How do you single-blogger blogs do it?! (Oh, right, you don’t post every day…) Mikey, it’s totally your game. I’m out! Oh, but before I go … here’s a bunch of random crap:
I’ve fallen in love … with a prepubescent boy. Don’t judge me! My love is pure! My love is true! But I digress… Some Mensa genius decided that it’d be a good idea to slow down the Biebz’s U Smile by 800%. The result is a stunningly haunting, epic masterpiece. Serial! They should play this shit in The Hobbit if they ever get around to making that movie(s). I listened to the entire 34:29 minutes, and was moved to tears at least 17 times. Please listen:
J. BIEBZ – U SMILE 800% SLOWER by Shamantis
Web Site Story
John (that rabbit that claims to occasionally dress like a human) and I were chatting the other night, and started singing typing the lyrics of America from West Side Story to each other. It was the single gayest thing I’ve ever done … and I’ve [dramatic pause]. So after I finished watching that clip from the film on YouTube and dancing around my apartment like an awkwardly tall, horribly dancing homogay, I came across CollegeHumor’s Web Site Story. It’s nerdy, hilarious and stars cute gaylords and (as I failed to notice, but John pointed out:) girls with rather huge bewbz. They disabled the embed code (wtf?!) so go watch it here, and then please come back and read the rest of my blog post and leave 100s of comments. Thanks!
Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
He’s the greatest sci-fi writer in history, why wouldn’t we all want his p33n? Surely Rachel Bloom wants it, cuz she wrote a pop song about it. MOVE OVER Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Jason Mraz, Jamie Cullum, Neil Diamond and Meat Loaf ……. Rachel Bloom is my new favorite pop star! (Welllll except for El Diablo, no one beats her!)
http://www.youtube.com/v/e1IxOS4VzKM?fs=1&hl=en_US
That’s it, people. Did you love my random crap? I hope so! If I wasn’t so *spent*, I would go back to the top of this post and rewrite it to emphasize the fact that all three of these random things are musically related. But fuck that (Ray Bradbury), I’m going on vacation!! Next time you hear from me, it’ll be in a pre-written Poo ‘toon cuz I’ll be on top of a mountain. That’s right, it’s my turn to abandon you! Laterz! And by “Laterz,” I mean “ejaculate on a book.”
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Have You Ever… With A Condom?!
The rules to Have You Ever?! are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever worn a condom?
7. Have you ever stretched a condom over your head?
15. Have you ever put a condom onto someone else?
21. Have you or a partner ever worn a flavored condom?
2. Have you ever purchased condoms?
3. Have you ever brought a friend with you while you bought condoms to make it less uncomfortable?
4. Have you ever bought condoms while with the person you intended on using them with?
5. Have you ever witnessed a condom being put onto a banana in school?
6. Have you ever used a female condom?
8. Have you ever inflated a condom like a balloon?
9. Have you ever used condoms as water balloons?
10. Have you ever thrown away condoms because they had expired?
11. Have you ever practiced putting on a condom by yourself so you were better at it when the opportunity arose later on?
12. Have you ever masturbated while wearing a condom?
13. Have you ever ejaculated into a condom?
14. Have you ever used a condom with a sex toy?
16. Have you ever performed fellatio on partner that was wearing a condom?
17. Have you ever engaged in sexual activities while wearing a condom?
18. Have you ever engaged in sexual activities while a partner was wearing a condom?
19. Have you or a partner ever worn a condom that was ribbed for his or her pleasure?
20. Have you or a partner ever worn a glow-in-the-dark condom?
22. Have you or a partner ever worn a Magnum (or other brand extra-large) condom?
23. Have you or a partner ever broken a condom while engaging in sexual activities?
24. Have you ever drank ejaculate out of a condom?
25. Have you ever saved a used condom?
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