February 1, 2012
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It’s been quite a while since my last Piss Puddle game … and there’s actually a reason. A month or so ago, Adam and I were shopping at our local fancy pet boutique (Walmart) and we decided that it was healthier for me and better for the environment to switch to a all-natural, corn-based kitty litter. Sadly, my new litter does not leave very obvious piss puddles … so we assumed that the Piss Puddle game had run its course. But then, Michelle M. kindly included my Piss Puddle on the Cocky & Rude bingo card. What were we to do? We couldn’t disappoint millions of Black Out Bingo players by never completing the card!
So together, we rooted around in the back of our supply cabinet and discovered that there was just enough of my old litter left over for one final puddle. First Adam held me over my litter box and squeezed my hind-side. As you would expect, I refused to piss. Adam then shook me up and down until I scratched him and ran away. Then he considered using his own urine … but he decided that it was “too uncivilized” — what a douche! Finally I watched as he drew this final Piss Puddle with some water and a measuring cup. What a stupid cheater!
You know the rules. Tell me what you think this “Piss Puddle” looks like in the comments. You better come up with something more creative than Adam was thinking when he drew that stupid dick-shaped puddle.
April 11, 2011
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I have a theory: douche-bags don’t read Cocky & Rude. It’s just a theory — but I want to be sure. Here at Cocky & Rude, we accept all readers and if you’re a douche-bag, we’ll still love you! You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever…
1. Have you ever had a fake tan?
2. Have you ever sported highly stylized facial hair?
3. Have you ever put way too much gel in your hair?
4. Have you ever had frosted tips?
5. Have you ever worn bling?
6. Have you ever worn ridiculous looking sunglasses?
7. Have you ever worn your sunglasses indoors?
8. Have you ever popped your collar?
9. Have you ever worn a baseball hat with the brim to the side?
10. Have you ever worn a wife-beater as a shirt?
11. Have you ever kept a bluetooth headset on your ear for most of the day?
12. Have you ever spent all your time at the gym?
13. Have you ever had giant, ridiculous muscles?
14. Have you ever driven a ridiculous, tricked-out car?
15. Have you ever been a fratboy?
16. Have you ever littered?
17. Have you ever called a waitress or hostess a “sweetheart”?
18. Have you ever behaved obnoxiously in public?
19. Have you ever been called an egomaniac?
20. Have you ever thought that you were God’s gift to the human race?
21. Have you ever abused your girlfriend or boyfriend?
22. Have you ever considered “GTL” a way of life?
23. Have you ever appeared in an episode of Jersey Shore?
24. Have you ever seen your own photo on hotchickswithdouchebags.com?
25. Have you ever been filled with liquid and used to cleanse a horribly dirty vagina or rectum?
Now tell us the truth! We’ll still love you! Are you a douche?