Our eleventh week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate eleven weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
Rosie O’Donnell once admitted to stopping at multiple Waffle Houses because she was embarrassed to order so much food from a single fast-food restaurant. This week I asked each of the contestants for a pre-diet embarrassing admission. Here’s what they had to say…
Michelle M.
Well, there was that one time I ate 10 tacos…
Ryan
I’m most embarrassed with how I would get a large bag of candy, eat until the sugar made me feel sick, and then sometimes keep eating. I’m also not proud of how I would sometimes substitute a bag of Doritos or a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for a meal or how quickly I could go through a box of donuts.
Polt
So this week, we’re detailing an something embarrassing we did before we started the contest. Hmm, well being over 300 12 years ago was pretty embarrassing in an of itself. But let’s see, what else embarrassing did I do? Oh yeah, well a few years back, mom made me a Boston Cream Pie for my birthday. She, dad and I each had a slice when she gave it to me. Then I took it home. By 8:00 the next evening, the entire pie was gone. It was simply THAT good, ate the whole damn thing in less than a day. Not the first time either. But in my defense, Mama Polt makes a HELLUVA delicious pie! (and I don’t have any photos of her pies, so the one I included in just a generic pie, which I’m sure tastes nowhere near as good as hers!)
Mikey
My shocking admission is that I love to eat ice cream and like Fat Betty I just can’t stop. You see that pint of Ben & Jerry’s? I could make that my bitch in about 20 minutes, no brain freeze, one spoon, pure bliss. Truth be told, I MISS IT SO FREAKIN MUCH. 
Mr. Sombrero
Does a honey badger think some of his actions are embarrassing? Of course he doesn’t. He’s a honey badger. Does Mr. Sombrero think eating an entire tub of Twix ice cream… before dinner… is embarrassing? Probably not. He’s Mr. Sombrero. Wait… we’re suppose to be dieting? Ok, now I’m embarrassed to admit something…
TwoPi
I do all the cooking and grocery shopping for the family. One of the benefits (or risks) of grocery shopping alone is the opportunity to buy a “little treat” or snack for the drive home. For a while, I was craving Doritos, and each time at the grocery I’d buy a big bag of Doritos, and snarf them down on the drive home. (This might be two or three times per week at its worst.) At one point I had the brilliant idea to put wet wipes in the car to eliminate the tell-tale signs of Dorito snarfage, but in a cold weather climate this doesn’t work out so well. I might not have lost as much weight as my compatriots here, but BC&RL3 *did* help break me of my shameful Dorito habit.
Tam
I don’t think I’ve ever done something like that, not that I can think of. Although I have eaten my lunch in my office at 10:30 and then went and bought lunch in the cafeteria at 12:00. Sigh I’m more paranoid what people are thinking when I legitimately buy food for more than me. If you go to the drive-thru and order two burgers and fries (both the same) and you get to the window and there is only you in the car, are they wondering what kind of a pig I am or assuming I’m taking it home for someone? When I order a large pizza I hope they realize I’m not home alone, I could have five kids running around in there. So I’m conscious of how it looks when I order/buy certain foods, but I’ve not done too much sneaky food eating/buying.
Adam
Much like Tam, I’m also incredibly paranoid about being judged. A few years ago (when I was vegetarian) I was feeling blue and put myself on a a steady diet of veggie subs, Doritos, Entenmann’s chocolate chip cookies and Peanut M&M’s. I’d stop at the local Wawa convenience store almost every day after work and stock up on the evening’s depression binge. I’d often feel embarrassed by the mass of junk food that I was buying, and would somehow convince myself that if I bought two drinks, the cashier would think my purchase was for multiple people. It was convenient because then I had two drinks to wash down all the crap!
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
Our fourth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate four weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
Our dieters have accomplished nearly a month dieting. Have you wondered what they miss the most? This week we asked each contestant what from their plumper days they miss the most? Is it food? Laziness? Or something else? Here’s what they said:
Michelle M.
Other than the metabolism of my youth, the thing I miss most is junk food (chocolate and chips, mostly). I can hardly wait until it’s time to donate blood so I can have a guilt free snack afterwards. I hope they have mini powdered donuts…
Polt
Okay, so this week it’s “What Do I Miss Most?” Well I didn’t really give up anything for the challange, but last week, my doctor put me on a low to no carb diet. So what do I miss? FREAKING CARBS!!! I miss pizza, bread, chips, pasta, donuts, potatoes, corn, peas, fries, buns, rolls, subs…oh God, I swear there was moment Monday when I would have given my left nut for a hot buttered roll! As Shakespeare said, “A cruller, a danish, my KINGDOM for an eclair!”
TwoPi
I miss not thinking about whether to buy something my mouth wants to eat. I miss not reading the nutrition labels on packaged foods. I miss giving in to my spur-of-the-moment cravings when I’m doing the grocery shopping. (I do, however, like that slightly smug feeling when I manage to walk down the junk food aisle and don’t give in, don’t put anything in the cart.) I miss not feeling like I’m at war with myself over food.
Ryan
I don’t miss beer (I still drink it) so much as I miss being able to drink without thinking about the calories. At this point, I’ve given up drinking outside of a social context. Enjoying a beer at home just isn’t worth making room for the calories. I also miss snacking. Chips or nut mixes tend to be too much of a bother when you have to measure out portions. It would also be nice to have supper be determined by what I feel like eating more than what will balance out what I ate during the rest of the day.
Tam
I miss desserts. I got in a really bad habit in early 2012 of eating dessert far too often. All kinds, cake, cookies, pie, ice-cream, it didn’t seem like a meal unless we had dessert. Since my trip I have only had the occasional Girl Guide cookie (which I faithfully recorded). I have passed on donuts, ice-cream and other baked treats. Now when I’m craving something I usually end up having a pudding cup or a jello/fruit cup. Both around 100 calories. I like both, but they’re no triple threat chocolate cake. I was super good this last week and got a crappy number. Oh well, means next week will be high right?
Mikey
I miss nothing other than ice cream at the moment. Sure it’s only early spring, but I can always eat ice cream. It’s my favorite dessert of all time. And I haven’t had any in months. Poor Mikey!
Mr. Sombrero
I try not to deprive myself of delicious foods. I keep it in moderation and decrease the intake.
I did replace unhealthy snacks with nuts and fruits. The trick is to completely banish unhealthy foods from your surroundings so one does not fall into temptation in the time of crisis. I do find myself dreaming of Twix PB bars.
Adam
Nearly a month ago, I gave up two foods that are awful for you. Those foods? Mustard and pickles. I miss them so much! Mustard and pickles are commonly known as the most fattening foods on the planet. By avoiding only these foods, I will slim down to the size of an Olsen twin. I miss them greatly, but it’s worth it!
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
The second week of Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2 has drawn to a close. Last week we said goodbye to Canadian Bacon; who will we say goodbye to this week? This week we asked each of our contestants to show us and describe the inside of their refrigerators. Here’s what they had to say:
DOCTOR AND THE BUNNYMAN Mel & John
Mel: Since I have to work and won’t be home in time to send a pic of my fridge, I’m sending one of the freezer where we store deceased patients at work. Unfortunately, I’ve been doing this so long that it does nothing to kill my appetite. Fortunately, the week overall has been a good one. My rate of weight loss has slacked a bit, as was expected, but is in a healthy range. I’m in the process of breaking in new custom orthotics and hope to get back to my running training soon. A friend is trying to get me to register for a marathon in July – not sure I’ll be up for that, but I at least want to do another half marathon or two in 2011 (did two this past fall). I’ve been consistently meeting my nutritional goals, eating fewer calories, and not feeling at all deprived or hungry.
John: Food still abounds, but I’ve still managed to make good choices and got some time in to exercise. Riding my bike and doing some push-ups. I hate push-ups, but I hope to be “pec-tacular” when this is done or at the very least, to drop a cup size. I’m down [censored]% this week. As for my (real) fridge, yogurt, bread, rolls, turkey, light mayo, skim milk, grape jam, Swiss cheese and Sprite Zero. Michelle M. will hate at least half of what is in there.
Enrico: This week was hard for me. I would find myself at Mexican restaurants, eating burritos with extra sour cream, completely forgetting about the weight loss challenge! But I did curb my eating habits somewhat… after all, I only ate 45 cookies one night, rather than the usual 60. Either way, this doesn’t really say anything about what’s in my fridge this week, since I hide all the good stuff from my roommates and keep it in my bedroom. But this is what my fridge looks like anyway. MMM.
Craig: Wow. My refrigerator looks ridiculously unhealthy. Look at that giant bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups! And donuts! And mayonnaise! And beer and wine and homemade Bailey’s Irish Cream (that’s that’s in the brown jug up top)! Oh but wait! Not all hope is lost! We drink skim milk! Yay! We’re so healthy!
GINGY & THE HAT Adam & Mr. Sombrero
Adam: Visitors to my apartment are usually surprised by how bare my fridge is. I hate to waste food, so I usually only buy as much as I need for the next few days. Since I cut out the junk food, a significant portion of my (vegan) diet is made up of fruits and vegetables, so I usually have a good stock of apples and oranges on hand. I also have onions, tomatoes, baby carrots, lettuce, frozen veggies, etc. A few condiments, juices, seltzer water, tofu, sandwich thins, and tempeh take up the rest of the space. Boooooring!
Mr. Sombrero: As most of you know, Mr. Sombrero had la gripe for the past week. Veggie soups for breakfast, lunch and dinner – 4 days straight. So I’ve been able to lose the weight without doing any exercise. And I highly recommend it – the more contagious the disease, the more weight you’ll lose. So go ahead – get that flu, diarrhea, malaria (your choice) – and see that belly fat melt away! At least for one week. And here’s a telegraph from Mr: Sombrero: BEEN SICK FOR QUATTRO DAYS STOP SOUP FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER STOP FRIDGE EMPTY STOP NADA TO EAT STOP SAD FACE STOP
THE JAILHOUSE LAWYERS Polt & Jere
Polt: This is the Poltfridge. It’s got all the essentials: Pepsi, wine, outdated milk, beer, a shelf full of condiments. Even a box of Arm & Hammer in the back. You may notice the healthy stuff: a shelf of yogurt, apples, and even celery…still wrapped in plastic. Please don’t notice that the healthy stuff is outnumbered by the unhealthy stuff. And by the way, it does look kinda lonely in there, and i DO take donations….
Jere: My fridge is full of many mysterious leftovers belonging to my roommates. For some reason, almost all my items are currently in the vegetable drawer. These include a loaf of bread, a banana, and two bags of shredded cheese. I also have half a dozen eggs on the top shelf. The absence of red delicious apples. It’s time to go grocery shopping.
FDot: The inside of my refrigerator contains food and drink. Most of it is in bottles and jars. Some of it is in Tupperware. Tupperware was developed in 1946 by Earl Silas Tupper as a way to contain food in an airtight receptacle so it would last longer. There is also a light in my refrigerator that allows me to see inside of it when I need something in the middle of the night. Anything I can possibly need is inside my refrigerator except when I really want it. Atop my refrigerator is a freezer, but I never open it anymore ever since that fateful day……….
Paul: Here are the contents of my fridge. Top Shelf: bottled water, filtered water and coffee. Meat Drawer: steak, cod fillet. Middle Shelves: yogurt, cottage cheese, sugar-free, fat-free pudding (chocolate and cheesecake), eggs. Bottom Shelf: chicken, tomatoes, fat free Cool Whip (for the pudding). Crisper: onions, potatoes, beefsteak tomato, golden delicious apples, oranges. Not a very exciting selection, but it’s working. I do recycle the water bottles, having them like that helps me keep track of how much water I’m drinking. I like to make the cheesecake pudding into a pie, but right now I don’t want the extra calories of the graham cracker crust. I saw the doctor today and got my meds and the clearance to start working out, so now it’s time to really get started losing weight!
TEAM MUSHY CUPCAKE Mush & Ryan
Mush: My weight loss this week is an astonishing [censored]. That’s [censored] pounds! I’ve never lost [censored] pounds in one week before, like, ever. I’m super excited! I also don’t expect it to last; I’ll probably go back to my usual plodding [censored] lbs-per-week loss after this. The vast majority of the stuff in the fridge I use doesn’t belong to me. What’s in there is leftover Indian food in containers and some veggies and diet ranch dressing. And 1% cottage cheese and no fat milk. Being skinny better be fucking worth it.
Ryan: A mix of my and my roommate’s stuff. Highlights: rhubarb preserves, yogurt (fat-free so that can eat a pound to get protein without freaking Mush out), lard (which should go to the freezer since I don’t plan on baking anything with it any time soon); vinaigrette in need of mixing, turkey, cottage cheese (still not tried), eggs (which I learned you can poach inside cooking oatmeal); more yogurt; beer (not touched since this started).
TEAM OINK Harry & Michelle M.
Harry & Michelle: Because we live in the same house (and use the same refrigerator) we only have one blurb. And because neither of us likes to be on the bottom (shut up), we took drastic measures.
TYLER-EXIA & BULI-MIKEY Mikey & Ty
Mikey: This is my fridge, well at least it is the fridge my apartment. I share this fridge with a roommate and absolutely everything you see in there is hers. I have no food at home, which is part of my plan and part of my problem. When I do have food at home, I eat it all until it is gone. When I don’t, I drink water and complain about my lack of food. It takes all of my strength and sense of ethics to not steal my roommates food. Wish me luck!
Ty: To look at my fridge, you might think I never eat. This is even particularly well-stocked for me; usually it contains the water pitcher and condiments. Ah, but how deceptive! Most of my calories never see the fridge except as leftovers. Even when I cook, I tend to buy only what I need for immediate use. The simple reason is that I tend to be a little OCD about food: Gotta clean my plate, finish off any leftovers ASAP, eat the entire box of Cheez-Its, etc. Since I vowed not to make any profound discoveries about my eating habits in this competition, I’ll have to stop there. As for this week’s results, there was a lot of socializing, hence a lot of outdoor calories, hence only a nominal drop. Boo!
How did our teams do in the second week? It’s time to find out!
We’ve calculated the cumulative percentages for each team, and here are the results:
And now it’s time to eliminate a team! Here’s how it works: just like American Idol, you vote for the team that you want to save. The team with the least votes will be eliminated. Polls close around Noon (EST) on Saturday.
Wait a minute! Before you start your campaigning, please feel free to plead your case, write speeches, freak out, party down, or even flip your shit in the comments. We’ll see which team is eliminated next on Sunday!
Oh, and if this blog post wasn’t long enough for you, check out what our fridges looked like last time we played!
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Yay! Boo!
*The idea for this post was inspired by vuboq. Thanks vuboq!
Yay! I was excited about the new Hershey’s Air Delight chocolate bar – I thought it
would be like the Choco’Lite bars of yore. Chocolatey, yet airy.
Boo! But it wasn’t. It just tasted like chocolate chalk.
Yay! And then I received my ugly purse prize in the mail and all was right
with the world (not shown – the 3 candy bars Harry and I immediately ate).
Yay! House is on tonight!
Boo! This is the last season of House.
Boo! I’m out of my favorite lipstick (Maybelline Moisture Whip* #370 – Toast) and they’ve discontinued it!
Yay! I found one that looks fairly similar (Maybelline Colorsensational #275 – Crazy for Coffee).
*Know who else uses Moisture Whip – that’s right, Wonder Woman!
Yay! I get to use more colors in my painting class
Boo! I still have to paint those ugly bottles (the yellow square is the area I’m painting).
Boo! I’ll have to trade in yummy potato chips for yucky rice cakes.
Yay! I will be able to fit into my jeans again.
Boo! I’ll have to trade in sitting on the couch for exercising.
Yay! I’ll feel and look better!
Boo! I’ll have to keep eating right and exercising for the rest of my days.
Yay! I have 3 more days to stuff myself with junk food!
I guess you can’t have the silver linings without the clouds.
What were the ups and downs of your week? Let me know in comments!
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