Welcome to the second week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40! This week’s theme is “GOAL & PRIZE” - Everything is easier if there’s a goal & prize in place. Each of the contestants will tell us what their personal goal and/or prize is and how it will motivate them to lose weight.
When I win Biggest C&R Loser, I’m going to let Mr. Sombrero buy me an entirely new wardrobe! We’re going to go shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch and buy one of these weird-shaped sports balls. That’s all I’m ever going to wear!
My goal for this round of BCRL is to lose enough weight that I can throw away my fat jeans! Or burn them. Or both!
I am playing to fit into all of my clothes….and to make sure that when I go shopping for clothes I don’t have to constantly buy a size up. I hate that. 
This time around I hope to get serious about my weight loss. I’ve gained a small ton in the past six months and have almost doubled in size since I met Adam. [hmmm?] And all for good reasons: health, general well being and a bunch of clothes that no longer fit.
My goal in this competition is to be healthier and look better. Hopefully like the guy in this photo. It’s important to aim high, so that even if I don’t quite make it, I still get quite far.
What’s my goal and prize for doing this? Well the weight loss will be nice, but my main reason for doing this (other than the money) is my diabetes: I want to get my A1C to 7.0 or below (which makes me a controlled diabetic. Normal people are 6.0 or below). Last March, it was above 9, my doctor yelled at me and put me on a diet. I followed it and in three months, dropped to 7.1 in June. Because I slacked off, in September, it was 7.4. Now, over the holidays, I’m sure it’s gone up again. And this coming Monday i have a doctor’s appointment, where I’m sure she’ll yell at me again. But with her yelling and this contest, hopefully, I can get it back down around or below 7.0. That’s my goal. the prize? Having better health and not dying as soon.
Okay, I was really not mentally prepared for this whole process to start last week. I seemed to be still in the post-holiday sugar-craving mode. Enough. I need to track my food consumption more carefully. No more chocolate. My goal is 15lbs. I know that’s kind of wimpy, but if I don’t set my sights too high I might actually make it and more would be a bonus. Better to aim low and succeed I always say. Well, mostly. Whatever. Reward? I don’t know. Maybe new shoes. I’m always up for new shoes. (And no, I don’t really want pink sequinned sneakers, but something.)
My “prize” is a cruise with my immediate family, hitting various ports along the Baltic. For me, the challenging part of this trip will be its physical demands. I have arthritis in my lumbar spine, and can’t (currently) be on my feet for prolonged periods of time. This will put a serious crimp in our site seeing at the ports of call. I’m working on physical therapy to try and regain some motion and strength, but one thing that would make all of that more effective is weight loss.
National Men’s Health Week has just drawn to a close. This makes me wonder: How healthy is the C&Rmy? Are we ready to rise up against our greatest enemy and defeat him? Let’s find out how healthy of a man you are.
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever?!1. Have you ever had to get a physical for a school sport?
2. Have you ever gotten a physical because you’re getting old?
3. Have you ever had high cholesterol?
4. Have you ever had a kidney stone?
5. Have you ever had a heart attack?
6. Have you ever had arthritis?
7. Have you ever predicted bad weather coming because of pain in your joints?
8. Have you ever been told by a doctor that it’s time to start losing weight?
9. Have you ever been asked by your doctor if you’re sexually active?
10. Have you ever had to pee in a cup?
11. Have you ever had to provide a stool sample?
12. Have you ever been handed someone else’s pee in a cup?
13. Have you ever had to handle someone else’s stool sample?
14. Have you ever turned your head an coughed while a doctor yanked on yer balls?
15. Have you ever seen a urologist?
16. Have you ever checked your own balls for lumps?
17. Have you ever checked someone else’s balls for lumps?
18. Have you ever had a urinary tract infection?
19. Have you ever had a prostate exam?
20. Have you ever thrown your back out during sexual relations?
21. Have you ever not been able to get it up during sexual relations?
22. Have you ever been with someone who was not able to get it up during sexual relations?
23. Have you ever taken a prescription for your erectile dysfunction?
24. Have you ever taken an erectile dysfunction pill just for the hell of it?
25. Have you ever been raped by a giant erectile dysfunction pill wearing a cape?
Now turn your head, cough, and tell us your total in the comments.
This is it! The final week is complete! Today we reveal the winner of Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3, the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! But before we make it official and name Ryan as the winner, let’s check in with our contestants one final time and find out how they’re doing. How do they feel about the contest? Are they proud or disappointed? Would they do it again? Here’s what they had to say, in order of Rudest Loser to Biggest Cock:
MR. SOMBRERO: 8th Place, RUDEST LOSER!
It’s been quite a ride. I’m nowhere near the goal I set for myself but I did manage to lose few tiny pounds of blubber. I think I would be better at it if I didn’t have to write all these weekly updates 8-/ (was that the right emoticon for rolling eyes? Anywho, I will continue ‘participating’ even after this contest is done so maybe by the next round I’ll be more disciplined. And now, if you’ll excuse me, imma go celebrate with señor Cuervo.
POLT: 7th Place!
So this is then, the Final Week. Comparing this with my first photo, you can see I lost the weight, but kept all the skin. *SIGH* What did I think of the contest? Same as the others, although it was fun to check each week and see how everybody else was doing. Would I do it again? Sure why not? I’ve been in all three of them so far, right? Why not a fourth, if there is one? And how did I do? Well, I didn’t lose as much weight as I wanted, but then again, weight loss has always been a secondary goal. I’m on the diet to get my blood sugar under control, per the doctor. And I won’t know how successful I was at that until the middle of June when I get my blood work results. But at any rate, it was fun, congrats to everyone who did better than me (which I presume is everyone else), and I’ll see ya all again in the fourth contest (if there IS one).
ADAM: 6th Place!
I managed to lose of bit of weight during the course of BC&RL3, but overall I’m fairly disappointed with myself. I had hoped to jump start a significant weight loss and that didn’t happen … yet. Losing weight is a constant battle and I really just need to get my head in the game. Am I proud of myself? Yes! Somebody’s gotta be proud of me! ((self hug)) Would I do it again? OF COURSE! (It’s my website, I don’t have a choice!) Love to you all and congrats to Ryan!!
TWOPI: 5th Place!
I’m submitting the same photo that I started this competition with, as I feel like I’m just getting started on my diet, WWO-style. I’m pleased that I managed some modest weight loss in BC&RL3, but I need more dramatic changes to get to where I want to be.
TAM: 4th Place!
Well, overall I’m disappointed in my result. I know it’s mostly because I didn’t exercise but it did make me more conscious of what’s going into my mouth, not a bad thing and it’s nice to know I’m not the only slack ass out there who can’t stick to a diet. Yay for the lazy dieters club. I intend on keeping up the efforts and keep trying. Maybe I’ll even put more effort in. Or not. I’m not sure but I’m going to not be so oblivious as I go forward, so thanks for that C&R, it’s been fun, sort of.
MICHELLE M.: 3rd Place!
I’m sad the contest is over. Because I’m only about halfway to my goal weight – I went from being a hippo to a pig. But I’m proud of myself because I lost 7 pounds. It’s hard for me to lose weight now that I’m older, so I’ll take what I can get. Too bad I didn’t work out… But I’m going to keep on keepin’ on until I lose the rest of the weight. I don’t want to have to participate in BC&RL 4 next year!
MIKEY: 2nd Place!
Am I proud of myself? YES! I lost more weight in this round of BC&RL than I did in the previous rounds. Also, I’m eating healthier and going to continue to lose weight even now that this stupid thing is over. I will celebrate by commencing operation starvation. Will I do the contest again? YES. Especially if I can end up winning like he was formerly in cupcake form.
RYAN: 1st Place, BIGGEST COCK!!!
I am happy to have lost some more weight, but I’m a little disappointed that I wasn’t as disciplined as last time. At least I’m no longer embarrassed to take off my shirt.
And now the results:
Our twelfth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate twelve weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
BC&RL3 is almost over! What are the contestants going to do after the contest ends? Will they continue their diets or fall back into their old ways? Here’s what they had to say…
Mr. Sombrero
Ok I barely lost any weight but this contest opened my eyes and I realized how much I suck at it an need to take this whole weight-losing seriously. Since I always cram things last minute I hope that I can lose few more pounds by the end of this competition. I have few things lying around the house that can help me do that…
TwoPi
On the advice of my physician, I’ve quit caffeine completely. Next up: joining Weight Watchers online. Charles Barkley says I need to “learn to lose like a man”; I’m guessing he lost a bet or something, based on the photo above. Will WW push my weight loss past the 10% goal I set at the start of BC&RL3? Time will tell. I do know that I won’t end up looking like this photo though — Sir Charles has much better legs than I do.
Tam
Will I continue after this great contest is over? Yes. I’ve been a total slacker lately, but it’s always been there in the back of my mind, so it’s keeping me more honest than I might be otherwise. I have a trip to the UK in Sept. and losing some weight would be nice, so I think I’ll keep at it, even if I don’t have to check in every week. The way things were going before we started this, I would have been up as much as I’ve lost, so if nothing else, this brought my compulsive eating to a halt. I’ll keep slogging away. Congrats to Cupcake. Someday I shall be a cupcake, ’tis my fondest wish. (And I’m writing this before I know who wins, but I’m sure it’s Cupcake.)
Adam
Let’s face it, I’ve done horribly in this competition. But I’m going to change — I swear! Diet, exercise, willpower, and weight loss are all in my future! I hope…
Michelle M.
I’m about halfway to my goal, so I’m going to keep on dieting until I get there. Summer is coming and I want to fit into my shorts!
Ryan
I plan to continue after this, but I haven’t exactly been that diligent over the past few weeks. If I do my best to keep track of what I eat and make my exercise goals, I could hit my next weight goal sometime this summer. I don”t know if that will be the end because I’ve never been this lean in my life, so I have no idea where I want to end up. I think I might pick up running in the next couple of weeks. I’m at the point that walking longer doesn’t provide much of a challenge beyond finding the time.
Polt
This week, we’re to talk about Beyond BC&RL3. When this is over, I’ll not fall back into my old ways, cause I don’t want my doctor yelling at me. I got onto this diet I’m on because of her, and luckily it just happened to correspond with this competition. Weight loss, though, is only a secondary goal. My main goal is to get my sugar levels down. And that I’ll continue, hopefully, well after the contest. And in doing so, I’ll eventually end up all sleek, and svelte, and sexy-like. Just like this photo!
Mikey
The graph here is what I had hoped my weight loss would look like. It hasn’t yet, but I have started to lose weight again! Ty and I are continuing to two a few things to maximize our loss and minimize our waists: cooking healthier foods rather than doing the NYC thing of ordering in ALL THE TIME, substituting seltzer for tonic (don’t laugh…it works. I lost 5 lbs after making that small change), and trying to get more of the dreaded exercise.
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
Our fifth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate five weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
Our dieters are doing great! Have you ever wondered what their average meal looks like? This week we invited each of our contestants to submit a photo and a description of a meal that they’re particularly proud of. Here’s what they’re eating:
Mikey
The food pictured here is your typical diet food: tasteless and full of vegetables. Sometimes vegetables have flavor. These do not. These are the lengths I have gone to in order to lose weight…which appears to be stopping at the moment.
TwoPi
Weight loss did a bit of backtracking this week, which isn’t so surprising. Work is getting stressful (end of semester), and I’ve had some lapses of the between-meal snacking variety. I should have planned my photo better and gotten images from earlier nights cooking Mollie Katzen dishes, but instead it was “oh no I need to photograph what we’re eating TONIGHT” and so here is a pretty typical meal: homemade split pea soup and cornbread. Healthy in that there is fairly little fat (apart from what goes into the cornbread dough itself) and there are lots of veggies in the soup, which is thick enough so that one cup is quite filling.
Polt
This week, it’s our Meal Plan. Upon starting the competition, I had no meal plan, none at all. Since then, my new doctor has thrown me on low to no carb diet, so now, yes, I DO have a meal plan. Here is a typical meal: twice baked potato (37 grams of carbs) (I’m allowed 45 per meal), steak (although there’s also been a lot of ham, burger patties, and sausages), a small side salad (having one of those with EVERY meal), Diet Coke, and the current book I’m reading. I do not, however, eat the book, I just read it while eating. And yes, this is basically what my meals consist of nowadays (although asparagus or green beans take the place of the potato).
Ryan
I’ve been continuing my culinary experiments. The photo shows off my latest trial before I cooked it. My goal was to increase the beans to non-beans ratio and therefore the protein to carbohydrate ratio, and that was a success. However, cooking that much stuff at once is pushing the limit of my Crock Pot, and the black beans made everything else a lot less colorful. I think next time I will cook the non-beans separately.
Tam
Okay, so I was a total loser and didn’t know about the picture thing, so here is a mock-up of a meal I had. Steak, rice and roasted orange cauliflower. My steak didn’t look quite like that, but close enough. That’s pretty typical. We do eat pretty healthy. Breakfast is usually cereal or toast and juice, lunch is either a salad or sandwich with fruit and dinner is a protein, carb and vegetable. I’m really frustrated though because I have been so good for nearly 2 weeks, recording everything I’ve eaten, am ALWAYS under the total allowed and this week, nothing. Arrgghh. I’m considering trying the Polt diet. Maybe I need to go low-carb and shock my system into realizing it’s not playing fair.
Mr. Sombrero
I am very proud of this meal because it looks like a pool of barf, and C&R readers can appreciate a good barf pic. Apart from the snacks (which are my downfall), my meals are pretty healthy. Granted, they are not always vegan, but I try. 
Michelle M.
This was my dinner Tuesday night. Half a turkey burger light (Harry had the other half) with bbq sauce and a side of steamed vegetables. I was going to submit a photo of a vegetable stir fry, a light pasta, or a soup or something, but I didn’t feel like cooking that night. In general, my meals (especially the ones I cook) are healthy – it’s the junk I snack on at night that is turning me into fat Betty.
Adam
This is a dinner that I make every week or so. What you’re looking at: grilled tempeh (grilled on my George Foreman Grill), avocado, broccoli, grape tomatoes, cubanelle peppers, baby carrots, baby portabella mushrooms and mixed greens. All that is topped with a mix of balsamic vinegar and a little bit of olive oil, some spices and a shake of ground flax seeds. I gave up all soda (diet and otherwise) a few weeks ago, so that’s unsweetened iced tea in the glass. My issue has always been snacking on junk food AFTER dinner … but I’ve been trying to give that up too. Maybe my straight line on the chart will actually move next week!
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
Our fourth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate four weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
Our dieters have accomplished nearly a month dieting. Have you wondered what they miss the most? This week we asked each contestant what from their plumper days they miss the most? Is it food? Laziness? Or something else? Here’s what they said:
Michelle M.
Other than the metabolism of my youth, the thing I miss most is junk food (chocolate and chips, mostly). I can hardly wait until it’s time to donate blood so I can have a guilt free snack afterwards. I hope they have mini powdered donuts…
Polt
Okay, so this week it’s “What Do I Miss Most?” Well I didn’t really give up anything for the challange, but last week, my doctor put me on a low to no carb diet. So what do I miss? FREAKING CARBS!!! I miss pizza, bread, chips, pasta, donuts, potatoes, corn, peas, fries, buns, rolls, subs…oh God, I swear there was moment Monday when I would have given my left nut for a hot buttered roll! As Shakespeare said, “A cruller, a danish, my KINGDOM for an eclair!”
TwoPi
I miss not thinking about whether to buy something my mouth wants to eat. I miss not reading the nutrition labels on packaged foods. I miss giving in to my spur-of-the-moment cravings when I’m doing the grocery shopping. (I do, however, like that slightly smug feeling when I manage to walk down the junk food aisle and don’t give in, don’t put anything in the cart.) I miss not feeling like I’m at war with myself over food.
Ryan
I don’t miss beer (I still drink it) so much as I miss being able to drink without thinking about the calories. At this point, I’ve given up drinking outside of a social context. Enjoying a beer at home just isn’t worth making room for the calories. I also miss snacking. Chips or nut mixes tend to be too much of a bother when you have to measure out portions. It would also be nice to have supper be determined by what I feel like eating more than what will balance out what I ate during the rest of the day.
Tam
I miss desserts. I got in a really bad habit in early 2012 of eating dessert far too often. All kinds, cake, cookies, pie, ice-cream, it didn’t seem like a meal unless we had dessert. Since my trip I have only had the occasional Girl Guide cookie (which I faithfully recorded). I have passed on donuts, ice-cream and other baked treats. Now when I’m craving something I usually end up having a pudding cup or a jello/fruit cup. Both around 100 calories. I like both, but they’re no triple threat chocolate cake. I was super good this last week and got a crappy number. Oh well, means next week will be high right?
Mikey
I miss nothing other than ice cream at the moment. Sure it’s only early spring, but I can always eat ice cream. It’s my favorite dessert of all time. And I haven’t had any in months. Poor Mikey!
Mr. Sombrero
I try not to deprive myself of delicious foods. I keep it in moderation and decrease the intake.
I did replace unhealthy snacks with nuts and fruits. The trick is to completely banish unhealthy foods from your surroundings so one does not fall into temptation in the time of crisis. I do find myself dreaming of Twix PB bars.
Adam
Nearly a month ago, I gave up two foods that are awful for you. Those foods? Mustard and pickles. I miss them so much! Mustard and pickles are commonly known as the most fattening foods on the planet. By avoiding only these foods, I will slim down to the size of an Olsen twin. I miss them greatly, but it’s worth it!
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
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It’s National HIV Testing Day 2012 … Have You Ever Been Tested?!
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever…
1. Have you ever worn an AIDS Awareness pin or red ribbon?
5. Have you ever encouraged a friend to be tested for HIV?
13. Have you ever refused to have unprotected sexual relations with a partner until they were tested for HIV?
19. Have you ever had an HIV scare? (You thought that you might test positive)
2. Have you ever been tested or checked for an STD?
3. Have you ever been anonymously tested for HIV?
4. Have you ever been tested by your family doctor for HIV?
6. Have you ever gone with a friend to get tested for HIV?
7. Have you ever encouraged a sexual partner to be tested for HIV?
8. Have you ever gone with a sexual partner to get tested for HIV?
9. Have you ever had a partner ask you to get an HIV test?
10. Have you ever dated someone who tested positive for HIV?
11. Have you ever stopped dating someone because they tested positive for HIV?
12. Have you ever refused to have protected sexual relations with a partner until they were tested for HIV?
14. Have you ever had protected sex with someone whose HIV status you didn’t know?
15. Have you ever had unprotected sex with someone whose HIV status you didn’t know?
16. Have you ever had sexual relations with someone you knew was HIV+?
17. Have you ever had sexual relations with someone you later found out was HIV+?
18. Have you ever been concerned that you had HIV based upon banal symptoms (common cold, or something)?
20. Have you ever had a false positive HIV test?
21. Have you ever been tested positive for HIV?
22. Have you ever had a friend or family member who is HIV+?
23. Have you ever lost a friend or family member to an AIDS related illness?
24. Have you ever lost a (current or former) partner to an AIDS related illness?
25. Have you ever played Adventures in Sex City to learn more about sexual health?
Find out more about the National HIV Testing Day 2012 at NAPWA.org.
Thanks to Craig & Mikey for your help with this post!
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