Welcome to the Friday Five, where I examine my five favorites of the week!
It’s been a long time since I’ve presented you with my five favorites of the week. When Mikey grabbed the Friday Five reigns a while back, I just sorta abandoned the idea and let him roll with it. But I know that you’ve all been waiting for this day. You’ve woken up early each Friday, wondering whether or not you’d ever see one of Adam’s Friday Fives again. Each week, utter disappointment happiness? when you find another of Mikey’s Friday Fives greeting your sight holes with a mix of humor and web videos. Well, ladies and germs … THE WAIT IS OVER. I’M TAKING THIS MOTHERFU¢K’N B!TCH BACK TO WHERE IT BELONGS. HERE IS ADAM’S FRIDAY FIVE!!!!!*
First up this week is Conan O’Brien. I’ve been a fan of Conan since his days nights on Late Night, I followed him to The Tonight Show, and now I watch him every night on his self-titled TBS show. Together with his sidekick, Andy Richter, Conan never fails to crack me up and put me to bed in a good mood. This week featured Beardpocalypse, where after weeks of threats, Will Ferrel shaved off Conan’s awesome ginger beard. It left him looking oddly thin and about 30 years younger, but just as funny.
Another beardless favorite this week is Barack Obama. And no, it’s not because of him. It’s because of what he said about this guy. If you haven’t seen the portion of President Obama’s 2011 White House Correspondents’ Dinner speech, then you have to check it out. I laughed a lot … but I don’t think that Donald Trump shared in my amusement. Enjoy!
My cat, Spring has always been a little “special” … but this week she’s been acting downright INSANE. I’m not sure if it’s the open windows in my house or the fact that I’ve turned off the heat, but she’s been acting wayyyy weirder than normal. She goes from super-affectionate (not normally her style), to ballistic attack (more her style), to running around the house like a maniac, viciously chasing her tail, and then standing in the kitchen and meowing at the ceiling. I’m thoroughly enjoying the entertainment … but jeez girl, chill the frick out!
My favorite new show right now is Happy Endings, and you should be watching it! It’s a sitcom on ABC (sorry Polt, I’m not referring to a porno or that thing you pay an extra few bucks for at the end of a massage), and stars Elisha Cuthbert (24), Damon Wayans Jr. (his dad is Damon Wayans), Zachary Knighton (FlashFoward), Eliza Coupe (Scrubs), Casey Wilson (Saturday Night Live), and Adam Pally (his IMBD resumé is kinda unimpressive). Happy Endings is kinda like Seinfeld, meets Friends, meets 2011, meets awesome writing and hilarious comedy. Plus Adam Pally’s character, Max, is so non-stereotypically gay that it adds a level of refreshing realism that a lot of shows with gay characters are missing. So next time you’re watching Modern Family and Cougar Town, leave the television on for a bit longer and check out Happy Endings! I promise it’s great!
And in the final spotlight of this week’s Friday Five are … mangoes. Why? Because they were on sale this week at my local grocery store, and they’re FREAK’N DELICIOUS. I’ve watched all sorts of YouTube videos that teach me how to cut mangoes — but every time I eat one, I just give up. I tear into it, peeling of skin, and biting at it like a ferocious animal. When I’m finished, there’s a pile of skin and giant pit sitting in a puddle of mango juice. My hands are wet and sticky, my mouth is dripping with sweet juice (calm down Polt), and I have all sorts of mango fibers stuck in my teeth. MMMMM MANGOES!
This Week’s Runners Up: Long walks in the park, turning off my heat and dramatically reducing my electric bill, the fantastic return of Doctor Who, Indian guys and their tiny penises, The fact that Craig’s comment links have disappeared, some cool new character-centered X-Men trailers, Kate Middleton’s naked brother, this website, raising the roof, and hardcore gay pornography.
So that’s my Friday Five for this week: Conan O’Brien, Barack Obama, My Insane Cat, Happy Endings, and Mangoes. What’s your Friday Five?
*Note: Mikey is welcome to take back the Friday Five next week. That whole opening paragraph was basically bullshit. Actually, this whole post was basically bullshit. We know that the only C&R posts you truly enjoy are Have You Ever?! quizzes and C&R Fight Club matches. The rest is just in-between filler.
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Spring’s FINAL Piss Puddle Game!
It’s been quite a while since my last Piss Puddle game … and there’s actually a reason. A month or so ago, Adam and I were shopping at our local fancy pet boutique (Walmart) and we decided that it was healthier for me and better for the environment to switch to a all-natural, corn-based kitty litter. Sadly, my new litter does not leave very obvious piss puddles … so we assumed that the Piss Puddle game had run its course. But then, Michelle M. kindly included my Piss Puddle on the Cocky & Rude bingo card. What were we to do? We couldn’t disappoint millions of Black Out Bingo players by never completing the card!
So together, we rooted around in the back of our supply cabinet and discovered that there was just enough of my old litter left over for one final puddle. First Adam held me over my litter box and squeezed my hind-side. As you would expect, I refused to piss. Adam then shook me up and down until I scratched him and ran away. Then he considered using his own urine … but he decided that it was “too uncivilized” — what a douche! Finally I watched as he drew this final Piss Puddle with some water and a measuring cup. What a stupid cheater!
You know the rules. Tell me what you think this “Piss Puddle” looks like in the comments. You better come up with something more creative than Adam was thinking when he drew that stupid dick-shaped puddle.
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