It’s been quite a while since my last Piss Puddle game … and there’s actually a reason. A month or so ago, Adam and I were shopping at our local fancy pet boutique (Walmart) and we decided that it was healthier for me and better for the environment to switch to a all-natural, corn-based kitty litter. Sadly, my new litter does not leave very obvious piss puddles … so we assumed that the Piss Puddle game had run its course. But then, Michelle M. kindly included my Piss Puddle on the Cocky & Rude bingo card. What were we to do? We couldn’t disappoint millions of Black Out Bingo players by never completing the card!
So together, we rooted around in the back of our supply cabinet and discovered that there was just enough of my old litter left over for one final puddle. First Adam held me over my litter box and squeezed my hind-side. As you would expect, I refused to piss. Adam then shook me up and down until I scratched him and ran away. Then he considered using his own urine … but he decided that it was “too uncivilized” — what a douche! Finally I watched as he drew this final Piss Puddle with some water and a measuring cup. What a stupid cheater!
You know the rules. Tell me what you think this “Piss Puddle” looks like in the comments. You better come up with something more creative than Adam was thinking when he drew that stupid dick-shaped puddle.
Let’s face it. YOU LOVED MY POST ABOUT PEEING! Everyone did. It’s the talk of the town. Two people even gave it 5 stars. That’s the most starts that anyone can give a post! Yay! (Both people were me.) And let it never be said that I don’t give the people what they want. You love pee? I WILL GIVE YOU PEE! Just sit back and enjoy the pee. I’ll give you so much pee… SO MUCH! I will pee all over you!
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. 
When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever missed the toilet while peeing?
2. Have you ever remained standing while peeing?
3. Have you ever read a book or magazine while peeing?
4. Have you ever answered a phone call while peeing?
5. Have you ever read a text message while peeing?
6. Have you ever sent a text message while peeing?
7. Have you ever splashed urine or toilet water onto yourself while peeing?
8. Have you ever showered while peeing?
9. Have you ever slept while peeing? (Oh no! You wet the bed! Mom and Dad will be so angry even though you’re just developing slowly and it’s not 
your fault!!!!)
10. Have you ever trimmed your pubes while peeing?
11. Have you ever cried while peeing?
12. Have you ever pooped while peeing?
13. Have you ever consumed food or beverage while peeing?
14. Have you ever vomited while peeing?
15. Have you ever crossed your stream with someone else’s while peeing?
16. Have you ever had a conversation with someone while peeing?
17. Have you ever peeked at someone else’s private parts while peeing?
18. Have you ever experienced pain or discomfort while peeing?
19. Have you ever contemplated murder while peeing?
20. Have you ever been inside a moving vehicle while peeing?
21. Have you ever let your pants fall to the ground while standing in front of a urinal in a public restroom while peeing? (Yes this seems to happen quite often for some reason.)
22. Have you ever contemplated your political party affiliation while 
peeing?
23. Have you ever proposed marriage (or a civil union) while peeing?
24. Have you ever admired Polt’s ass while peeing?
25. Have you ever thought about Justin and his honey Allen while peeing?
Go take a piss, shake it off or wipe (whichever applies), zip up, wash your hands, come back to the computer, and then tell us your total in the comments!
It’s the end of 2011, and than can only mean one thing: it’s time for the 2011 Cocky Awards! This year’s awards will be determined solely by your votes. Each week, C&R will present you with a few categories. Each week, you’ll place your vote before the polls close at approximately 12:00 Noon (EST) each Friday. Then each weekend, we’ll revel the latest winners.
Earlier this week, you voted on the first three categories of the 2011 Cocky Awards. They were: Favorite 2011 Michelle M. Monday Post, Favorite 2011 C&R Post and Favorite 2011 C&R Guest Post. Here are the results!
The award for Favorite 2011 Michelle M. Monday Post goes to…
MICHELLE M. for The Taco Bell Challenge!
Links to posts: The CONAN Show, Get Your Hair Did, Happy Birthday Craig, Inside the C&R Studio, & The Taco Bell Challenge!
The award for Favorite 2011 C&R Post goes to…
MICHELLE M. for Happy Birthday Polt!
Links to posts: The CONAN Show, Get Your Hair Did, Happy Birthday Craig, Inside the C&R Studio, & The Taco Bell Challenge!
The award for Favorite 2011 C&R Guest Post goes to…
CRAIG for Mr. Sombrero, Won’t You Be Mine?
Links to posts: Craig’s Friday Five, Have You Ever… Been a Music N3rd?!, Mikey Likes to Lick, Mr. Sombrero, Won’t You Be Mine?, & The Piss Puddle Game
Congratulations to the first Cocky Award winners of 2011:
Michelle M. and Craig!
The 2011 Cocky Awards continue next week!
It’s the end of 2011, and than can only mean one thing: it’s time for the 2011 Cocky Awards! This year’s awards will be determined solely by your votes. Each week, C&R will present you with a few categories. Each week, you’ll place your vote before the polls close at approximately 12:00 Noon (EST) each Friday. Then each weekend, we’ll revel the latest winners. Let’s get started!
THIS WEEK’S CATEGORIES ARE:
Favorite 2011 Michelle M. Monday Post
Favorite 2011 C&R Post
Favorite 2011 C&R Guest Post
We Americans (and by we I mean those other ego-maniacal people) like to celebrate our independence with a mighty show of bombs bursting in air and meat grilling on metal. It is not difficult for one to realize that these are all just stand-ins for our penis. So for the Freudians out there, I say Happy Independence Day (or Canada Day née Dominion Day, whatever that is) and enjoy a video about a man with a very large penis.
 | The Incredibly Shrin… on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
 | Tam on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
 | Tasha on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Vagina. on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | goblinbox on Biggest C&R Loser 201… |
 | Order Now! Fool Me T… on Commenter Cocktails! |
Find Out Who Has The Biggest Boy-Parts! (NSFW)
While innocently surfing the Internet, I stumbled upon some survey results from a few years ago. It seems that the reputable source, Condomania.com has determined a unique rankings of average penis size in the 50 states. Here’s Condomania’s results, ordered by largest to smallest penis:
By now you’ve scanned the list to see where you rank. Are you lucky enough to be living in well-endowed New Hampshire? Or maybe you’re living in Micropenisville, Wyoming? Most of the C&R frequent commenters living in the following 8 states … and here’s how we measure up:
The results turned out quite well for the presumably well-hung Mikey, Craig, Ty, Josh, Jere and the rest of our New York commenters. Unfortunately those of us in New Jersey (like myself) and Maine didn’t quite measure up. But as those of us who are a bit less than well endowed often claim: it’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.
A final note … New Yorkers shouldn’t whip out their junk and celebrate too quickly. When Condomania.com ranked the 20 most populated U.S. cities by their average penis size, some new facts were revealed:
It’s good news for commenters like Harry, Ryan and VUBOQ, who live in or near San Diego and Washington D.C. It looks like they may out-measure a few of our New York City friends after all.
So how do you measure up? Are these lists accurate? And what city and state will you be visiting on your next vacation?
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