So when Adam and Michelle put out their whiny request saying they were “tired” and “too exhausted” to post this week (wah wah wah) and DESPERATELY wanted guest posts, I thought … what could I, the classy sophisticated woman that I am, write about for a guest post? Of course, the obvious answer was Mikey’s favorite: hardcore gay porn.
Now everyone knows that straight girls only like porn with romantic music and floaty curtains, and soft gentle non-threatening male actors, right? Heh. Yeah. Well, I can’t speak on behalf of all straight girls, only the ones in my little pervy corner of the universe, and that description? Not so much. I decided I would do a survey of a few of my friends who I know enjoy a little man-on-man action, or at least a picture of a nekkid bottom now and then. Well, they told two friends, and they told two friends and so on, and so on. You know the drill. I ended up with 110 responses. Ack! I needed to buy a Survey Monkey pay subscription to access them all.
So what is the story with these women? They’re just looking at artsy pictures right? Well, we’re looking at pictures, I’m not sure how many are “artsy”. Have you been to Tumblr lately? Ahem. 97.3% have a gander at the boys, many on a daily basis, or several times daily, or hourly. Do you know how fast a dashboard moves on that site? Ya gotta keep up or you’ll miss a good one.
Now surely they’re not WATCHING videos. I must be alone in that jungle of testosterone, right? Oh no, I’m not alone. Basically 83% of us girls surveyed like to watch some hot video action, although we are basically cheap and don’t want to pay for it.
Okay, but they’re all single and sad and desperate like me I’m sure. Hmmm. Maybe? 37.6% of us are footloose and fancy free and can watch whatever the hell we want on the internet. But 35.6% have husbands who don’t really care.
I got some interesting comments:
So there you have it. But you’re asking “why?” right? Most people do, even other straight girls. And no, none of us imagine one of the ‘stars’ coming to their senses and sweeping us off our feet. Some of us like to watch straight porn or girl-on-girl as well, but there are a lot of common reasons women don’t like watching porn with other women in it. We are not the target audience. It’s aimed at men and as a rule shows women that men (supposedly) find attractive. The men involved don’t really matter, because straight guys are staring at the women. Straight girls? We’re looking at Ron Jeremy. Ack. If that’s not a freaking turn-off what is? I like to look at attractive men and seriously, you aren’t going to find many in straight porn. So I’ll go where my eye can enjoy the view, doubly, or more.
Here are some of the comments from my survey respondents:
So there you have it folks. In general the reasons why some of us girls like gay porn are: we like men and the way men look; straight porn makes us feel icky or self-conscious; and … it’s just hot. *shrug*
I received so many interesting answers to my questions about porn stars on twitter, live sex shows, strippers and how “out” you are with your habit, that I will definitely be using much of this info for some posts on my own site. Too much great data not to mine for other posts. I admit my survey sample was skewed to those who already have an interest in the subject matter, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun otherwise.
I know porn is not for everyone, but if it’s your thing, happy watching.
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll introduce our fighters. We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
TOM & JERRY
AKA / Alias / Nicknames: Tom Cat and Jerry Mouse, Tom was called “Jasper” and Jerry was known as “Jinx” in their debut appearances First Appearance: February 10th, 1940 in Puss Gets the Boot Created by: William Hanna and Joseph Barbera Place of Birth: Unknown Hair Color: Tom is white and two shades of gray (or blue), Jerry is two shades of brown Species: Cat & Mouse Current Residence: A house Relationship Status: Usually fighting, occasionally friends Occupations (current and/or past): Tom is a house cat, Jerry is vermin Notable Appearances: Television:The Tom and Jerry Show (ABC, 1975),The Tom and Jerry Comedy Show (CBS, 1980–1982),Tom & Jerry Kids (FOX, 1990–1995),Tom and Jerry Tales (The CW, 2006–2008) Movies: Jerry danced with Gene Kelly in the GM musical feature film Anchors Aweigh (1945), Tom and Jerry: The Movie (Turner Pictures/Film Roman/WMG, 1993), A new feature film is rumored to be in production. Height & Weight: Tom weighs approximately 12lbs, Jerry weighs approximately 7 ounces Hobbies: attempting to kill each other Favorite Song: their own theme song Awards: 7 Academy Awards for Best Short Subject: Cartoon Known for: their famous cartoon series Catch Phrases: Tom and Jerry almost never speak Favorite Food: Tom’s favorite food is Jerry, Jerry’s favorite food is cheese Claim to Fame: In 2000, TIME named the series one of the greatest television shows of all time. Favorite curse word: none
First appearing in a 1940 cartoon short, the characters of Tom & Jerry have been a favorite of children everywhere for over 70 years! Tom & Jerry have appeared in a ridiculous amount of theatrical animated shorts, television shows, movies, specials, video games, and more. Although they’re usually at odds with each other, this cat & mouse duo have decided to put their differences aside and enter the C&R Fight Club ring as allies. Their secret weapons include possible invincibility and immortality (after all, they’re still alive after a 70-year battle and don’t look as if they’ve even aged a day), giant hammers, mouse traps, stinky cheese, and wealth of friends and accomplices.
AKA / Alias / Nicknames: Call me “Jer-bear” and I’ll kill you Date of Birth & Age: May 29, 34 Created by: Equal parts luck, genius and boozy, regret-filled night Place of Birth:The City by the Pestilent Sea Hair Color: fleshy white boy Species: hillbilly wearleopard Current Residence: Harlem Relationship Status: desperate Occupations (current and/or past): former journalist, current law student, lifelong professional homosexual Notable Appearances (Film, TV, etc): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3frIKv7X-fM Height & Weight: 1800 calories a day diet Hobbies: voting 1 star for “very poor” on Cocky & Rude posts. Especially those involving cat urine. Favorite Song (this week):Monster by Kanye West [feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Bon Iver, and Nicki Minaj] Awards: “Best BJ of All Time” as acknowledged by several random guys Known for: Inappropriate and unfunny sexual harassment. Catch Phrases: “Hey teen gang, let’s go [insert name of activity we were going to do anyway]!” Favorite Food: Taco Bell Bean Burritos Claim to Fame:Indestructible. Favorite curse word: Justin Bieber’s Cunt!
Little is known about where Jere comes from, what he does with his time, or with whom he associates. This is remarkable because Jere is like the opposite of internet privacy and he frequently broadcasts his whereabouts, activities, thoughts and bowel movements to a world-wide web that largely pays no attention at all. Gossip tabloids have linked him romantically to famous person Tyler Posey of Teen Wolf, but Jere denies these rumors, commenting “I don’t date 20-year-old guys. Anymore.” Jere’s secret weapons include: The fact that he’s a dog person, he hasn’t had rodents in my apartment since the great “humane trap” invasion of fall 2010, he has an unlimited supply of siblings and family member who’ve got his back, and if all else fails, he’ll sue your ass.
Who will win in the battle of Tom & Jerry vs. Jere? Will Tom & Jerry team up and combine their strengths to defeat Jere? Or will Jer-bear sue them to death while screaming “Justin Bieber’s Cunt!” at the top of his lungs? There’s only one rational way to decide which fighter will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to both Jere and Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!