I’ve written so many of these damn Have You Ever quizzes that I actually searched C&R and Googled to make sure that I haven’t already written an ‘On Your Birthday’ one. If it does exist, I can’t find it. So here it is! In honor of my upcoming birthday: Have You Ever … On Your Birthday?!
You know the rules but I’ll tell you anyway: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever?!1. Have you ever had a birthday?
2. Have you ever received a crappy gift on your birthday?
3. Have you ever bought yourself a present on your birthday?
4. Have you ever worked on your birthday?
5. Have you ever thrown yourself a party on your birthday?
6. Have you ever been surprised by a birthday party at work on your birthday?
7. Have you ever been surprised by a surprise party on your birthday?
8. Have you ever baked yourself a cake on your birthday?
9. Have you ever received a free meal at a restaurant on your birthday?
10. Have you ever received a free drink at a bar on your birthday?
11. Have you ever turned into a gluttonous cake monster on your birthday?
12. Have you ever thrown up on your birthday?
13. Have you ever been disappointed (for any reason) on your birthday?
14. Have you ever lied about your age on your birthday?
15. Have you ever forgotten your own birthday?
16. Have you ever ignored your birthday and hoped it would just go away?
17. Have you ever cried on your birthday?
18. Have you ever gotten really drunk on your birthday?
19. Have you ever used illegal drugs on your birthday?
20. Have you ever had to spend your birthday alone?
21. Have you ever broken up with someone on your birthday?
22. Have you ever deleted your birthday on Facebook just to see who really remembers your birthday?
23. Have you ever had sex on your birthday?
24. Have you ever received any type of sex act as a birthday gift?
25. Have you ever slept with a prostitute on your birthday?
Tell us your total in the comments!
And so it begins! Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser begins today. Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our nine contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season! Yay!
Meet the contestants!
Mikey
The whole idea for BC&RL started with me telling Adam that I was officially fat and needed to lose weight to be healthy again. Well…I’m hoping three times really is a charm. Plus…I have a lot of room to go if I’m going to fit into that size 6 wedding gown by Vera Wang this fall.
Adam
I’m so fu¢king fat that none of my clothes fit. My goal is to lose one thousand pounds. mmmm cookies.
Polt
Polt here, and looking over the rules for this thing, I see today I need discuss my reason for participating and what I hope to accomplish. Okay, both can be answered simply by looking at my most recent photo. Yes, I have put on a few pounds since the 2nd edition of this, thanks for noticing and while I ain’t much to look at, at least I’m purple. Anyway, I’m playing along this time because a) I played in the first two and I like being consistent, b) someone has to come in last, and I’ve got broads shoulders (and hips and stomach, etc) so I can take it, c) I’d hate to see Adam cry if not a lot of people played along and d) I might just end up losing a few pounds out of this. And what do I hope to accomplish? Well, some weight loss, I suppose, but I don’t have high hopes for it. No I’m not being negative, just pragmatic. Good luck to everyone!
TwoPi
My doctor has been hassling encouraging me to lose weight for a while. And while I know what I ought to do, having the motivation to actually do it is hard. “Eat right and exercise”; yeah, it might add ten years to my life, but (a) that’s ten years of eating right and exercising, and (b) it’s the LAST ten years it adds on. Give me ten more years as a thirty-year-old, and I might be interested! Anyways, it is something I’ve been meaning to get around to doing, and BC&RL3 seemed like it would be way more fun than going to Weight Watchers’ meetings. Here’s a photo of me with my body double, Alfred Hitchcock.
Tam
This is my inspiration for joining BC&RL3. I convinced myself I could still wear those jeans, I had just chosen not to. HAHAHAHA Oh right. Denial is a wonderful thing. My goals is to get back into those jeans and maybe even the pair a size smaller I admitted I couldn’t wear. Hopefully being accountable to the world wide web will help me stay on track, that along with the encouragement of the other contestants.
Michelle M.
I’m participating because I need to lose some damn weight!
Ryan
I kept going after last season and eventually lost seventy pounds. After taking the last few months off, I’m ready to lose the last bits of fat.
Mr. Sombrero
Mr. Sombrero needs to lose weight because his sombrero doesn’t fit him any more.
Let’s face it. YOU LOVED MY POST ABOUT PEEING! Everyone did. It’s the talk of the town. Two people even gave it 5 stars. That’s the most starts that anyone can give a post! Yay! (Both people were me.) And let it never be said that I don’t give the people what they want. You love pee? I WILL GIVE YOU PEE! Just sit back and enjoy the pee. I’ll give you so much pee… SO MUCH! I will pee all over you!
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. 
When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever missed the toilet while peeing?
2. Have you ever remained standing while peeing?
3. Have you ever read a book or magazine while peeing?
4. Have you ever answered a phone call while peeing?
5. Have you ever read a text message while peeing?
6. Have you ever sent a text message while peeing?
7. Have you ever splashed urine or toilet water onto yourself while peeing?
8. Have you ever showered while peeing?
9. Have you ever slept while peeing? (Oh no! You wet the bed! Mom and Dad will be so angry even though you’re just developing slowly and it’s not 
your fault!!!!)
10. Have you ever trimmed your pubes while peeing?
11. Have you ever cried while peeing?
12. Have you ever pooped while peeing?
13. Have you ever consumed food or beverage while peeing?
14. Have you ever vomited while peeing?
15. Have you ever crossed your stream with someone else’s while peeing?
16. Have you ever had a conversation with someone while peeing?
17. Have you ever peeked at someone else’s private parts while peeing?
18. Have you ever experienced pain or discomfort while peeing?
19. Have you ever contemplated murder while peeing?
20. Have you ever been inside a moving vehicle while peeing?
21. Have you ever let your pants fall to the ground while standing in front of a urinal in a public restroom while peeing? (Yes this seems to happen quite often for some reason.)
22. Have you ever contemplated your political party affiliation while 
peeing?
23. Have you ever proposed marriage (or a civil union) while peeing?
24. Have you ever admired Polt’s ass while peeing?
25. Have you ever thought about Justin and his honey Allen while peeing?
Go take a piss, shake it off or wipe (whichever applies), zip up, wash your hands, come back to the computer, and then tell us your total in the comments!
While most of us really enjoy the holiday season, between the holiday parties, the baking, the holiday cards, drawing A Cocky & Rude Christmas Carol and finding the perfect gifts for everyone, we place pretty heavy demands on ourselves. Do you ever let the stresses of holiday shopping get to you? Just what have you done while holiday shopping? We’re about to find out…
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. 
When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever gone from store to store looking for a particular item while holiday shopping?
2. Have you ever paid extra for a highly sought-after item while holiday shopping?
3. Have you ever spent more money than you were intending while holiday shopping?
4. Have you ever spent more money on yourself than on others while holiday shopping?
5. Have you ever made a commitment to only shop locally or in non-chain stores while holiday shopping?
6. Have you ever used a price comparison app on your smart phone or mobile device while holiday shopping to make sure that you get the best deals?
7. Have you ever skipped traditional holiday shopping and made all of your own holiday gifts?
8. Have you ever donated to charities instead of going holiday shopping?
9. Have you ever done all of your holiday shopping online?
10. Have you ever done all of your holiday shopping at a single store?
11. Have you ever done all of your holiday shopping in a single day?
12. Have you ever done all of your holiday shopping at a convenience store or gas station?
13. Have you ever completed your holiday shopping before December?
14. Have you ever procrastinated until Christmas Eve to do your holiday shopping?
15. Have you ever outsourced your holiday shopping to a family member or significant other?
16. Have you ever holiday shopped on Black Friday?
17. Have you ever holiday shopped on Cyber Monday?
18. Have you ever been rude to a store employee while holiday shopping?
19. Have you ever demanded to speak to a manager while holiday shopping?
20. Have you ever gotten into a screaming match with another customer while holiday shopping?
21. Have you ever gotten into a physical fight with another customer while holiday shopping?
22. Have you ever swiped something from another shopper’s cart while holiday shopping?
23. Have you ever started crying while holiday shopping?
24. Have you ever shoplifted while holiday shopping?
25. Have you ever had sex (with a significant other, store worker, complete stranger, etc.) while holiday shopping?
Tell us your total in the comments!
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HAVE YOU EVER … Watched Too Much TV?
Have You Ever…
1. Have you ever yelled at someone for spoiling a show?
2. Have you ever not gone out with friends/family because you were going to stay in and watch an anticipated TV episode.
3. Have you ever cried because a television character died?
4. Have you ever printed out the new fall TV schedule so you could highlight what you were going to watch?
5. Have you ever had a show you absolutely needed to fall asleep to?
6. Have you ever written fan fiction that was based on a TV show?
7. Have you ever written letters to a television network demanding that they un-cancel a show?
8. Have you ever felt guilty about giving up on shows, even though they stopped being good a long time ago?
9. Have you ever watched an entire season of TV in a single weekend?
10. Have you ever watched beyond the first season of Glee?
11. Have you ever watched beyond the first season of Heroes?
12. Have you ever purchased a season or series of TV, just to keep it on the back burner in case you ever ran out of current shows to watch?
13. Have you ever loaned TV series DVDs to someone and insist they watch it immediately cause OMG it’s so good?
14. Have you ever finally caved on watching a show that everyone talks about and then get blown away by how awesome it is?
15. Was that show Mad Men?
16. …or Breaking Bad?
17. Have you ever deprived yourself of sleep so you could watch one more show?
18. Have you ever recorded entire seasons of a TV show onto DVD or VHS (or similar media)?
19. Have you ever had DVR conflicts because you want to watch more than two shows at the same time?
20. Have you ever argued with someone about which TV theme song is best?
21. Have you ever sung the Charles in Charge theme song as an opera?
22. Have you ever dreamed that a studio would actually spend money to make a Veronica Mars movie?
23. Have you ever tried to figure out who the final Cylon was?
24. Have you ever wished you lived in Stars Hollow, the fictional town where Gilmore Girls took place?
25. Have you ever gotten mad that nothing on Lost really mattered?
Tell us your total in the comments!
Thanks to Craig, for basically writing this entire post!
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