Welcome to the 8th week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40! This week’s theme is “TEMPTATION” – Everyone is tempted by something (food, laziness, sleep) when they should be eating healthy and exercising. What tempts the contestants? Let’s find out!
So this week, it’s Temptation. My biggest temptation is: Gay Porn. ‘Well DUH!’ I can hear you all saying now, but I mean as it relates to this contest. See, if I give in to the temptation of the uncounted amount of gay porn on the Internet, then I spend time watching that and NOT out walking. And after watching gay porn, I’m generally in need of replenishing my…energies. So I eat. And usually it’s snacky-stuff, that’s not healthy for me. So if I could resist the gay porn, I could be exercising more and eating better. …..but yeah, we ALL know that ain’t gonna happen.
My temptations are books, I’m either reading one (Don’t ya love my snazzy red e-reader?) or writing one and Chapman’s oatmeal cookies and chocolate ice-cream sandwiches. But they were on sale. How could I not buy them? I’m just a lazy ass all around. I should be up doing something useful and energetic, but I’d rather surf the net and do reading-type stuff. Which would explain why there is no way in hell I am winning the $40.
I’ve mostly been eating what I want. I’ve gotten over my cravings for sweets (fairly easy) and for salty snack foods (harder). But what I’m so so SO tempted by is caffeinated coffee. My physician took me off caffeine last summer, and I’ve been successful staying off. But man, when I get behind on grading papers, get up early to get work done before the kids wake up, and I’m sipping my third cup of decaf wondering why it isn’t doing it for me…dang. I’ve been jonesing for caffeine pretty badly lately.
Lately I’ve been tempted to actually lose weight. I’ve been considering a visit to the gym. I’ve even thought about counting calories. Maybe I’ll actually succumb to the temptation!!
What tempts me? My inner child. Grown up me knows she should eat right and exercise, but my inner child is quite the little temptress. What she says pretty much goes.
My number one temptation is take out. Living in NYC it is sooooo easy to order anything to your door, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you will eat well. At least once a week I am tired enough to think about ordering…but my brain denies it.
I get tempted so easily. Mostly by peanut butter and anything else that starts with the word, “Reese’s.” Late at night when I’m watching Chelsea Lately, I think that should be exercising. Instead, I just close my eyes and imagine that I am Mena Suvari in American Beauty, being showered with rose petals. Except that it’s me instead of Mena, and I’m being showered with jars of PB. And then I get hit in the head and wake up. Then it’s time for bed.
My biggest temptation is eating delicious quick unhealthy foods. I’m a sucker for pizza. Making healthy choices is more expensive and more work, and I’m just lazy I guess.
Attention Biggest C&R Loser 2013 Contestants! This week’s photo and blurb are due on Wednesday at 6pm EST. Please also record your weight in this year’s spreadsheet or send me your latest weigh-in results. Check the revised BC&RL 2013 page for this week’s details.
Attention Biggest C&R Loser 2013 Contestants! This week’s photo and blurb are due on Wednesday at 6pm EST. Please also record your weight in this year’s spreadsheet or send me your latest weigh-in results. Check the revised BC&RL 2013 page for this week’s details.
Hey, kids, Uncle Polt of Polt’s Palace here! Do to his obsession with Polt’s Ass, there’s no way Adam could focus long enough to do this post, even though I know he wants to. So I graciously decided to surprise him and do it FOR him! So here we go with….
Have You Ever…Been Polt’s Ass?
The rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have you ever?!
1. Have you ever been white?
2. Have you ever been hairy?
3. Have you ever been flat?
4. Have you ever been used repeatedly in C&R posts?
5. Have you ever been plastered all over a July photo in a calendar?
6. Have you ever been masturbatory material for Craiggers?
7. Have you ever been deserving of your own regular C&R feature?
8. Have you ever had a $100 bill sticking out of an orifice?
9. Have you ever had an arm, hand and dumbbell thrusting out of you?
10. Have you ever been seen to be laying in the middle of a street?
11. Have you ever been a victim of a freaky obsession by the even more freaky Adam?
12. Have you ever been responsible, consistently, for an increase in comments on C&R posts?
13. Have you ever been slapped by Kris?
14. Have you ever been a reason why Adam will never get rich?
15. Have you ever been admired by someone instead of them watching the super bowl?
16. Have you ever been assumed to be the exact and total opposite, like a big power bottom, of what you actually are, like a butch masculine top?
17. Have you ever been dancing….ahem, cheek to cheek with Paul’s insanely cute boyfriend Travis?
18. Have you ever been a blog post tag on C&R?
19. Have you ever been called “award-winning” by Adam?
20. Have you ever been told you’d be a good thing to pee on?
21. Have you ever been the recipient of The 2011 Lifetime Achievement Cocky Award?
22. Have you ever had Rebecca Black sing a song about you?
23. Have you ever been the C&R fan favorite?
24. Have you ever been part of The 12 Days Of Whatever?
25. Have you ever been a consolation prize to someone if Michelle M. doesn’t win the lottery?
Now, try to pull your eyes away so you can total up your score and tell us what you got in the comments!
(A special Polt-thanks to Michelle M. for allowing me to have one of her Mondays, and another special Polt-thanks to Mikey, for posting this for so it could be a total surprise to Adam!)
HUGS……
Forget the CD Exchange (if I don’t participate, it doesn’t exist) let’s have a music exchange right here at Cocky & Rude! Each time we have a C&R Dance Party, I’ll name a theme for the day and you’ll post your responses in the form of a YouTube video in the comments. And don’t forget to dance!
Today’s Theme Is: A Song That Makes You Wanna Dance!
Link us to a YouTube video in the comments and tell us why you picked it.
Feel free to answer more than once!
I don’t claim to be a HUGE Madonna fan, but I’ve been listening to her tunes since I was a little kid. I remember sitting in the back of my mom’s car during INCREDIBLY long car rides (approx. 45 minutes) to my grandparent’s house. She’d blare Madonna music, and I’d scream when she took her hands off of the steering wheel to dance along with Vogue. For me, it’s safety first, Madonna second. And now, 20-something years later, I can’t stop dancing to Vogue either. My mom had* good taste (but don’t tell her I said that).
*Yes, “had” — now she listens to Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood. Blechk!
(And by the way, if your video doesn’t post in the comments correctly, FEAR NOT!
I’ll fix it as soon as I get a chance)
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Have You Ever… Been Lazy?!
Have You Ever…
1. Have you ever worn your pajamas all day?
3. Have you ever hit the snooze button more than 3 times?
9. Have you ever owned a Clapper?
17. Have you ever passed the vacuum over something several times instead of just bending down and picking it up?
21. Have you ever waited for the rain to wash your car?
2. Have you ever waited in a long line at the drive-thru because you were too lazy to get out of the car and go inside?
4. Have you ever not voted because you were too lazy to read up on the candidates/issues?
5. Have you ever taken the elevator to the second floor?
6. Have you ever driven around looking for a close parking space when it would have been faster to just park farther away and walk?
7. Have you ever watched an infomercial because you were too lazy to turn the channel or turn off the TV?
8. Have you ever picked something up with your feet so you wouldn’t have to bend down?
10. Have you ever taken a whore’s bath because you were too lazy to shower?
11. Have you ever copied someone else’s homework?
12. Have you ever been too lazy to comment on C&R?
13. Have you ever eaten standing over the kitchen sink?
14. Have you ever asked for an extension on your income tax?
15. Have you ever thrown something away because you were too lazy to find a recycling bin? (Adam will never know).
16. Have you ever worn a baseball cap/hat because you were too lazy to wash/fix your hair?
18. Have you ever left just one swallow of juice/milk in the container and then put it back in the fridge for someone else to deal with?
19. Have you ever made a child fetch something for you?
20. Have you ever carried too many grocery bags because you were too lazy to make two trips?
22. Have you ever done the “sniff test” on your clothing because you were too lazy to do your laundry?
23. Have you ever gone more than 3 months without exercising?
24. Have you ever wasted an entire day surfing the Internet?
25. Have you ever had someone guest post or posted a YouTube video because you were too lazy to come up with a real post?
Now tell is your total in the comments!
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