As much as I dread it EVERY year, it always seems to happen sooner or later. Last night was country night. Or rather, the night we crack open the Shania Twain songbook. Blechk. Let’s get this [what I'm assuming will be] awful hour over with…
Thank goodness that my husband was here to smack that country-hating grimace right off my face. Lee DeWyze was up first with You’re Still The One. Seriously there’s nothing that this boy can sing that doesn’t make me love him more. He did wonderful things to this song and it turned out amazing. *swoon*
Next I watched Big Fat Mike’s performance twice this week to see if I missed something. He sang It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing, and it was AWFUL. For some reason, the judges all kissed his ass and told him that it was amazing … but they were all wrong! Trust me, I went back and checked! It was terrible! Yuck!
Side note: Is anyone buying that Big Mike is huge muscular dude? The guy may be a personal trainer, but he’s fat. Now I’m not saying that I’m in amazing shape, but I’m not a PERSONAL TRAINER. If I had any motivation to exercise, I would not pick a guy that looks like that to help me work out. Sorry, but no. Okay, back to the hating show.
Casey James’ round, fuzzy head was up next, singing Don’t. Perched atop that weird little stage behind the judges, he sounded quite good. With the band toned down, the lights down and a guitar in hand, he really improved over last week. He’s working hard, and I commend him.
No One Needs To Know Crystal Bowersox’s performance wasn’t that great. I’m sure that the country love’n, down-home folks probably ate it up, but it was just too darn twangy for me. While I love Crystal, this just wasn’t my cup of tea. Simon: “Okay, shocker, we don’t like Crystal this week. That’s really the story.” But no worries, I’m sure she’ll make it through this hiccup and squawk amazingly next week. Oh wait, I’m getting an IM from Mikey!
Mikey: I may be a pedophile
Adam: What did you do??
Mikey: I enjoyed Aaron’s performance
Adam: Ew! Pedophile!
Mikey: And I Uh … kinda like … ummm … thought he could be cute … at some point.
And while I’m kind of ashamed that my co-blogger is a super-creepy perv-o, I agree that Aaron was pretty good tonight with You’ve Got A Way. As you probably aren’t aware (oh wait, I’ve mentioned it more times than Ellen made her “Twain” sounds like “train” joke), I HATE country music … but Aaron was on his game. This kind of music is what he excels at. It’s what he should do when he gets voted off the show next week. Become a country music star so I never have to listen to you again!
Last up was Siobhan Mania (as Josh likes to call her) with a screamy, hand clap’n, country hoe-down. Decked out in an ugly wallpaper dress with a black leather bra on the outside, Siobhan struggled through Any Man of Mine. The judges loved it (just like they seem to love almost EVERYTHING this season) but for me it was just awful, awful, awful, awful. I pity any man of hers that has to put up with that giant mouth. Although, if you’re into that sorta thing, she could probably do a lot with a mouth of that size…
Overall, the “Twain” just missed the station for me tonight. Ha! I can recycle Ellen’s joke too! *sigh* For me, the top three this week were Lee, Casey and Aaron. Who will go home? I think it’s the week we’ll say goodbye (for the second time) to Big Mike. What do you think?!