While innocently surfing the Internet, I stumbled upon some survey results from a few years ago. It seems that the reputable source, Condomania.com has determined a unique rankings of average penis size in the 50 states. Here’s Condomania’s results, ordered by largest to smallest penis:
By now you’ve scanned the list to see where you rank. Are you lucky enough to be living in well-endowed New Hampshire? Or maybe you’re living in Micropenisville, Wyoming? Most of the C&R frequent commenters living in the following 8 states … and here’s how we measure up:
The results turned out quite well for the presumably well-hung Mikey, Craig, Ty, Josh, Jere and the rest of our New York commenters. Unfortunately those of us in New Jersey (like myself) and Maine didn’t quite measure up. But as those of us who are a bit less than well endowed often claim: it’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.
A final note … New Yorkers shouldn’t whip out their junk and celebrate too quickly. When Condomania.com ranked the 20 most populated U.S. cities by their average penis size, some new facts were revealed:
It’s good news for commenters like Harry, Ryan and VUBOQ, who live in or near San Diego and Washington D.C. It looks like they may out-measure a few of our New York City friends after all.
So how do you measure up? Are these lists accurate? And what city and state will you be visiting on your next vacation?
On the first day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the second day of Whatever, my true love gave to me -
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the third day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – four Mikeys licking, three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the fifth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses…
four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the seventh day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – seven schlongs a swingin’,
six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Eight Tams a riding,
seven schlongs a swingin’, six poos a ploppin, five naked asses…
four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the ninth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Nine commenters commenting,
eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’, six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses…
four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the tenth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Ten armless Adams,
nine commenters commenting, eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’,
six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the eleventh day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Eleven pissy puddles, ten armless Adams, nine commenter commenting, eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’, six poos a ploppin’,
five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes
and a parakeet in a pear tree.
On the twelfth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Twelve boxers boxing, eleven pissy puddles, ten armless Adams, nine commenters commenting, eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’,
six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes
and a parakeet in a pear tree.
Happy holidays to my C&R family!
 | Tasha on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Vagina. on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | goblinbox on Biggest C&R Loser 201… |
 | Order Now! Fool Me T… on Commenter Cocktails! |
 | Jones sabo and maybe… on What Animal Are You? |
 | MsElenath on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
Commenter Cocktails!
Tomorrow is National Martini Day! Because the “M.” in Michelle M. sometimes stands for Mixologist, I created the following cocktails in honor of my favorite bloggers/commenters. Please drink responsibly.
The C&Rmy – Coke and rum and a splash of Berenger’s zinfandel. Garnish with cheeseball.
For Craig: The Dancing Monkey – Curacao, banana rum, pineapple vodka and cream of coconut.
For Mush: The Goblin Box – Green Goblin apple cider and boxed wine.
For Tam: The TaM/Mtini – Red vodka, Meyer’s Lemon mix and Maple syrup.
For The Kid: It’s not my job to corrupt the kid (that’s all on Adam). So it’s juice for her.
But she can put it in a Solo cup if that helps her cred.
For Nathan: The Nathan – Canadian whiskey and Kool – Aid.
For newlywed Talita: The Glamourgirlie – Pink vodka, Nuvo sparkling liqueur,
Chambord and pink sugar for the rim.
For john: The Boozy Bunny – Orange tequila, triple sec and carrot juice.
For Paul: The Swirl – Bailey’s Irish Cream, Kahlua, Chambord, raspberry
and chocolate syrup and whipped cream.
For Chris D.: The Enforcer – Irish whiskey, coffee, donut vodka.
For Enrico: The Hotel Tuesday – Pineapple juice, tears and a maraschino cherry.
For josh: The Trashytini – Citrus vodka, orange and lemon-lime Flavor Ice.
For Ryan: The Skinny Cupcake – Skinny boy margarita and water.
For fdot: The Green Squirrel – Frangelico hazelnut liqueur, peanut vodka,
Nocello walnut liqueur, pistachio liqueur.
For Ty: The Ty One On – This potent potable contains Bulldog Strong Ale,
Bulldog gin and Bulldog rootbeer.
For Mr. Sombrero: The Sexy Sombrero – Sombrero tequila and ginger ale.
Because he has to deal with Adam, I recommend multiple shots.
For TwoPi: The TwoPi – 3.14 oz. Vanilla vodka, 3.14 oz. Apple beer and a splash
of pumpkin spice liqueur. Top off with Cool Whip.
For Jere: The Blind Mascots – Iguana beer, Flying Dog pale ale, Moosehead lager
and a splash of champagne to celebrate graduation from law school.
For Polt: The Purple Passion – Kurant vodka, curacao, grenadine and passion fruit liqueur.
For David P.: The Someone in a Martreeni – Acai vodka, wheat grass and spinach.
For Justin: The Asterisk – Dark Chocolate liqueur, maple liqueur and and an *endlessly* flowing keg of beer.
For Vuboq: The Vuboq – V is for vodka (pear), U is for umbrella, B is for bitters,
O is for Orangecello and Q is for quince liqueur.
Fat Betty: The Blambablam – Whipped cream vodka, caramel vodka, chocolate liqueur,
white chocolate liqueur, cappuccino liqueur, vanilla ice cream, chocolate shavings
and Reddi Whip (to top off drink or to spray directly into mouth).
For Dr. Para: The Dr. Para – Pour all drinks above in a Big Gulp cup, toss in some gummy bears and enjoy!
*Cooper’s cocktail will be featured on Cooper’s Corner Tuesday.
So how will you celebrate National Martini Day? What’s your alcoholic beverage of choice? How does it feel to have a beverage named after you? Did I forget anyone? Let me know in comments!
Rate this:
Share this:
Like this: