Tag Archives: Chocolate Cake

Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 5

Our fourth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate four weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

Our dieters have accomplished nearly a month dieting. Have you wondered what they miss the most?  This week we asked each contestant what from their plumper days they miss the most? Is it food? Laziness? Or something else? Here’s what they said:


Michelle M.
Other than the metabolism of my youth, the thing I miss most is junk food (chocolate and chips, mostly). I can hardly wait until it’s time to donate blood so I can have a guilt free snack afterwards. I hope they have mini powdered donuts…


Polt
Okay, so this week it’s “What Do I Miss Most?” Well I didn’t really give up anything for the challange, but last week, my doctor put me on a low to no carb diet. So what do I miss? FREAKING CARBS!!! I miss pizza, bread, chips, pasta, donuts, potatoes, corn, peas, fries, buns, rolls, subs…oh God, I swear there was moment Monday when I would have given my left nut for a hot buttered roll! As Shakespeare said, “A cruller, a danish, my KINGDOM for an eclair!”


TwoPi
I miss not thinking about whether to buy something my mouth wants to eat. I miss not reading the nutrition labels on packaged foods. I miss giving in to my spur-of-the-moment cravings when I’m doing the grocery shopping. (I do, however, like that slightly smug feeling when I manage to walk down the junk food aisle and don’t give in, don’t put anything in the cart.) I miss not feeling like I’m at war with myself over food.


Ryan

I don’t miss beer (I still drink it) so much as I miss being able to drink without thinking about the calories. At this point, I’ve given up drinking outside of a social context. Enjoying a beer at home just isn’t worth making room for the calories. I also miss snacking. Chips or nut mixes tend to be too much of a bother when you have to measure out portions. It would also be nice to have supper be determined by what I feel like eating more than what will balance out what I ate during the rest of the day.


Tam
I miss desserts. I got in a really bad habit in early 2012 of eating dessert far too often. All kinds, cake, cookies, pie, ice-cream, it didn’t seem like a meal unless we had dessert. Since my trip I have only had the occasional Girl Guide cookie (which I faithfully recorded). I have passed on donuts, ice-cream and other baked treats. Now when I’m craving something I usually end up having a pudding cup or a jello/fruit cup. Both around 100 calories. I like both, but they’re no triple threat chocolate cake. I was super good this last week and got a crappy number. Oh well, means next week will be high right?


Mikey
I miss nothing other than ice cream at the moment. Sure it’s only early spring, but I can always eat ice cream. It’s my favorite dessert of all time. And I haven’t had any in months. Poor Mikey!


Mr. Sombrero
I try not to deprive myself of delicious foods. I keep it in moderation and decrease the intake.
I did replace unhealthy snacks with nuts and fruits. The trick is to completely banish unhealthy foods from your surroundings so one does not fall into temptation in the time of crisis. I do find myself dreaming of Twix PB bars.


Adam
Nearly a month ago, I gave up two foods that are awful for you. Those foods? Mustard and pickles. I miss them so much!  Mustard and pickles are commonly known as the most fattening foods on the planet. By avoiding only these foods, I will slim down to the size of an Olsen twin.  I miss them greatly, but it’s worth it!


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

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My Last Meal


The other day I came across a macabre, yet interesting blog – Dead Man Eating. It features the last meals of prisoners condemned to death. In the event that Mr. M. cheats on me or Adam shares another stupid vagina-hate post, I will most likely be enjoying a last meal of my own.

I’m probably going to be a little depressed and anxious about sitting in Old Sparky, so I’d like to share my last supper with some people who will lift my spirits. Here are some of my favorite comedians who will keep me laughing all the way down that green mile. By the way, I’m going to see the hilarious Kathy Griffin this month! Second row! If you’re not totally jealous, there is something wrong with you.


I gave a ridiculous amount of thought into what I want my last meal to be.

I will start with a couple of Godiva’s milk chocolate caramels, then gnosh on some nuts (macadamia, Brazil and pecans are my favorites). Next, I’ll have a few handfuls of Lay’s potato chips and Tostito’s Hint of Lime chips (aka: the devil’s chips). Oh my god, I love bread and butter! I think the Outback’s bread is deeelicious – I can eat it forever. I’ll be wanting a nice juicy steak, too (suck it Adam. Woohoo! Kathy Griffin!). And french fries – greasy and salty, please. A tomato salad sounds tasty, as does corn on the cob with enough butter to bring Paula Deen to orgasm – gotta make sure to eat my veggies (right, Polt?). Chicken in brandy peppercorn sauce is next on the list, followed by mashed potatoes (food of the gods). I must have some grilled pineapple, too. I’ll wash this all down with fruity cocktails (and keep ‘em coming)! For dessert I’d like a piece chocolate cake with ice cream and a slice of cherry pie. And finally, a wafer thin-mint.

So, what would you like your last meal to be? And with whom would you like to share it? Let me know in the comments!

Have You Ever…?

Today we’re treating you to a very special edition of Have You Ever…? game.  Below is a list of 25 questions. For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end, add up your points, and post your total in the comments section.  Let’s have some fun, and see who tops the list this week:

1. Taken an annual jaunt to Ocean City, NJ?
2. Questioned why Canadian pennies can be used so easily in US retail stores?
3. Had a crush on Serbian tennis player, Janko Tipsarevic?
4. Thought that you could stand roping some horses with Ted McGriff?
5. Earned a 10% key chain from Weight Watchers?
6. Spotted wild turkeys in your suburban back yard?
7. Been amazing how sometimes the simplest thing can provide such pleasure.
8. Thought that Lost‘s final scene would have Jack and Locke sitting on the beach in a recreation of the opening scene from the Season 5 finale “The Incident”.
9. Worked for 14 years at Blockbuster Videos?
10. Kept tabs on squirrels?
11. Hoped that someone would buy you a bubble calendar for Christmas?
12. Tried to see as many movies as possible during the NY Film Festival?
13. Blew $50 on a trip to NYC to listen to Kathy Griffin speak for 6 minutes without being able to see her?
14. Been completely unaware of the fact that Beetle Bailey and Lois Flagston are brother and sister?
15. Had the song “Happiness Hotel” running through your head 24/7?
16. Referenced the Wonder Twins in the first post of your blog.
17. Believed that seal pups want nothing more than to consume your essence?
18. Looked forward to watching as much as possible of the 2010 Olympics?
19. Wished a happy birthday to Pulcheria, Empress of the Eastern Roman Empire?
20. Been in a Rupert Brooke mood?
21. Enjoyed Dancing With The Stars’ Mark Ballas (who is just hot) and Johnathan Roberts (who sadly is married)?
22. Enjoyed Cookie Puss but prefer chocolate cake with chocolate icing.
23. Not scored higher than a 5 on a Have You Ever…? test?
24. Not scored higher than 15 on the Cocky & Rude Purity Test?
25. Posted to a Blog named, “I Deny You The Nidus!

Ha!  The tables are turned!  Who can’t brag about his low score anymore?  HAHA! Post your scores in the comments…

Pulcheria

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