Did you know that April is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month? I didn’t either! This month we strive to deal with conflicts openly and directly, in order to build a high performance organization. But instead of that crap, let’s talk about all the workplace conflicts that we’ve been involved with!
You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever?!
1. Have you ever been involved in a workplace conflict? 2. Have you ever had to deal with a rude, aggressive or inconsiderate coworker? 3. Have you ever shouted at a coworker? 4. Have you ever been shouted at by a coworker? 5. Have you ever been angry at a coworker? 6. Have you ever had a coworker that you never got along with? 7. Have you ever been the coworker that no one got along with? 8. Have you ever complained to a coworker’s boss about coworker’s behavior? 9. Have you ever been called to Human Resources or a manager’s office because of a workplace conflict? 10. Have you ever been sent home from work because of a workplace conflict? 11. Have you ever been suspended or otherwise punished for your poor workplace behavior? 12. Have you ever regretted your poor behavior in the workplace (in regards to a conflict)? 13. Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment? 14. Have you ever accused someone else of sexual harassment? 15. Have you ever been accused of discrimination in the workplace? 16. Have you ever accused someone else of discrimination in the workplace? 17. Have you ever kept notes on a coworker’s poor behavior to later use against them? 18. Have you ever gotten someone fired? 19. Have you ever been fired because of a workplace conflict? 20. Have you ever struck a coworker? 21. Have you ever been struck by a coworker? 22. Have you ever sabotaged (or pranked) a coworker to punish them for their poor workplace behavior? 23. Have you ever been sabotaged (or pranked) because of your poor workplace behavior? 24. Have you ever been reported to authorities (security, police, court, etc.) because of a workplace conflict? 25. Have you ever been sued or arrested because of a workplace conflict?
Now punch the coworker that’s closest to you as hard as you can and then tell us your total in the comments. Do you have any good workplace conflict stories to share? Tell us all about those too!
1. Clip your toenails. 2. Organize your grocery store coupons. 3. Admire Polt’s ass. 4. Twiddle your thumbs. 5. Stare at the wall.
6. Watch the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. 7. Read a book. 8. Watch The Notebook to balance out the world. 9. Organize a box of Fruit Loops by color. 10. Call all your butch friends who are watching the Super Bowl, just to chat.
11. Roll pennies. 12. Watch paint dry. 13. Clean out your closet. 14. Stuff everything that you took out of your closet into another closet. 15. Alphabetize your DVDs.
16. Comb your back hair. 17. Go shopping. 18. Clean out your refrigerator. 19. Replace the batteries in your smoke detectors. 20. Clean the dead bugs out of your ceiling lamps.
21. Make sure that everything hanging in your home is perfectly level. 22. Tweeze your eyebrows. 23. Catch up on Glee. 24. Look up naked women on the Internet and ponder why vaginas are just so damn disgusting. 25. Actually read one of those m/m short stories that Tam is always reviewing.
26. Masturbate. 27. Watch grass grow. 28. Play solitaire. 29. Add hundreds of pointless life events to your Facebook timeline. 30. Organize your porn.
31. Prune your pubes. 32. Microwave random things until they explode. 33. Perfect a foreign accent. 34. Plot world domination. 35. Perform an interpretive dance of LMFAO‘s I’m Sexy and I Know It.
36. Bake and decorate a cake. 37. Plan your future wedding. 38. Go grocery shopping (the store will be EMPTY). 39. Re-read every C&R post and comment on all of them. 40. Actually visit Our T.V. Night (because no one ever does).
41. Build a sex machine. 42. Nap. 43. Compose a C&R guest post and email it to Adam. 44. Learn the beautiful art of flower arraigning. 45. Drink alcohol until you pass out.
46. Lick the black mold that’s growing on your bathroom wall. 47. Clean your house. 48. Exercise. 49. Go see a movie. 50. Dream up 50 more things that you could do instead of watching the Super Bowl.
Special thanks to Mikey and Craig for their assistance with this post.
Let’s face it. YOU LOVED MY POST ABOUT PEEING! Everyone did. It’s the talk of the town. Two people even gave it 5 stars. That’s the most starts that anyone can give a post! Yay! (Both people were me.) And let it never be said that I don’t give the people what they want. You love pee? I WILL GIVE YOU PEE! Just sit back and enjoy the pee. I’ll give you so much pee… SO MUCH! I will pee all over you!
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have you ever …
1. Have you ever missed the toilet while peeing? 2. Have you ever remained standing while peeing? 3. Have you ever read a book or magazine while peeing? 4. Have you ever answered a phone call while peeing? 5. Have you ever read a text message while peeing? 6. Have you ever sent a text message while peeing? 7. Have you ever splashed urine or toilet water onto yourself while peeing? 8. Have you ever showered while peeing? 9. Have you ever slept while peeing? (Oh no! You wet the bed! Mom and Dad will be so angry even though you’re just developing slowly and it’s not your fault!!!!) 10. Have you ever trimmed your pubes while peeing? 11. Have you ever cried while peeing? 12. Have you ever pooped while peeing? 13. Have you ever consumed food or beverage while peeing? 14. Have you ever vomited while peeing? 15. Have you ever crossed your stream with someone else’s while peeing? 16. Have you ever had a conversation with someone while peeing? 17. Have you ever peeked at someone else’s private parts while peeing? 18. Have you ever experienced pain or discomfort while peeing? 19. Have you ever contemplated murder while peeing? 20. Have you ever been inside a moving vehicle while peeing? 21. Have you ever let your pants fall to the ground while standing in front of a urinal in a public restroom while peeing? (Yes this seems to happen quite often for some reason.) 22. Have you ever contemplated your political party affiliation while peeing? 23. Have you ever proposed marriage (or a civil union) while peeing? 24. Have you ever admired Polt’s ass while peeing? 25. Have you ever thought about Justin and his honey Allen while peeing?
Go take a piss, shake it off or wipe (whichever applies), zip up, wash your hands, come back to the computer, and then tell us your total in the comments!
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND TWO! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters. We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
Each week of Round Two, we’ll drop three Round One winners into the ring and see who remains standing after a 24-hour Cocky & Rude Fight Club vote. Today’s contestants are: Tam, “The Kid” and John.
While I may be the senior member of this trifecta, I believe I have some abilities that the others do not. On the one hand, I control the life of said most junior member. Party on Saturday? HAHAHAHA, yeah right. How about cream cheese and tomato sandwiches in your lunch every day for the next term? I have skillz. I may be old, but I’m wiley, I’ve got experience on my side and taking out a rabbit and a teenager easily distracted by cute boys and wedding dresses will be a snap. I have the appropriate Tumblr blogs bookmarked and carrots ready for step one in my plan: distraction. They are going down. -Tam
Do you actually think you’ll win against me? I’m Jack’s smirking revenge. I’m Jack’s cold sweat. Hell, I’m even Jack’s raging bile duct. I’m the all-singing, all dancing crap of this world, but I’m done with this, these are my words now. I’ll pull the rabbit out of the hat and send my mother back home. I spend my nights in a cage and my days at the underground. I’m made of steel and have youth on my side, ’cause I be eating a Triple Big Mac with an extra large fry. Ain’t no body more beast then I, are you even going try and call that a lie? Give me a chance to unleash my world of fury because when you leave the match your vision is gonna be blurry! -”The Kid”
I sense some dissention in the ranks and I am going to exploit that by pitting mom against daughter. Forget the fact that I am taller than both combatants, combined. I am going to first side with the Kid. She can wear that top, she can stay out after midnight, no, she can’t talk to Adam, it will scar her for life. Once Tam is out of the way, I will pick off the Kid! – John
Who will win in the battle of Tam vs. “The Kid” vs. John? There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to Michelle M., Tam, Kristin & John for your assistance with this post!