Our fifth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate six weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
Last week we took a look at a single meal that each of our contestants submitted. This week we’re taking a look inside each of their refrigerators. Just what are they hiding inside? We’re about to find out!
Mikey
In my fridge are a wild and crazy assortment of take out food products. With Ty away for work, I have indulged my inner bachelor with all the food ordering options Brooklyn has to offer. Please note the half eaten piece of carrot cake (gross) and the assorted condiments that I save from my meals and eventually throw out.
TwoPi
Apparently I’ve found a time machine, and managed to reverse what little progress I’d made so far in the competition. Time to reassess and regroup for next week. As for the fridge… From the top going down, reading left to right: We store cereal, dishwasher detergent, and pain medication on top of the fridge. I didn’t open up the freezer, but had I done so, you’d see ice cube trays and assorted frozen fruit, a few kinds of frozen pasta (ravioli mostly, for my kids mostly), and coffee grounds stored in the door. On the front of the freezer: a few photos of friends and their children, various coupons and papers, and fridge magnets, including our Puntabulous Memorial Magnet. Top shelf of the fridge: On the left, mostly jars, mostly condiments. On the right, beverages, primarily half-gallon glass bottles of milk, from a local dairy, and some fruit and veg juices. Next layer: cheeses (in the drawer), eggs (and dyed hard-boiled eggs in the cardboard container) Lowest shelf: Strawberries, apple sauce, juices, and some leftovers in the white bowl with blue lid. (Chicken and veg stir fry, if memory serves me correctly). Low bins: various shredded cheeses and tortillas on the left, various vegetables on the right. Door: The obligatory collection of salad dressings, steak sauce, and other random condiments, butter in the butter bin, random adult beverages on the lowest shelf.
Polt
So this week, we’re doing our fridge photo. Mine is now filled with stuff on my diet: meat (steak, sausages, ham) and salad stuff (lettuce, carrots, celery, cheese, hard boiled eggs, etc) and plenty of condiments (ketchup, A-1 Steak sauce, several different kinds of salad dressing). The yogurt’s been there a few weeks, too many carbs for me to eat too often. Diet Coke. Oh and that bottle of wine’s been there since before Christmas…have to find just the right time to drink that.
Ryan
A lot of the food here is actually my roommate’s, especially in the freezer. My single serving ice creams are just off camera in the freezer door. The other items of note are the blue containers filled with the beans that I cooked last night ready to be taken with me to work.
Tam
My fridge is usually filled with pretty healthy stuff, lots of cheese products, meats, fruits, veggies and things for lunches like juice boxes, pudding, fruit cups, etc. Also lots of random stuff like pickles, salad dressing, condiments. And usually leftovers of some kind, we always seem to have leftovers.
Mr. Sombrero
Yeah, there’s mostly veggie and dairy action goin’ on in my refridge. Some soy and hummus goodies in between. And no, that’s not dried up poop, that’s a ginger root. Also, some cat food for Mr. Mini Sombrero.
Michelle M.
This is pretty much how the fridge always looks. Missing are containers of leftovers. I cook “real meals” about twice a week. Other nights we eat leftovers. The two nights a week Harry plays hockey, I usually have soup or rice. Weekends we go out for dinner or scrounge around in the cupboards. The container in the back is ground flax seed (which I always forget to sprinkle on stuff). The beer is Harry’s, I drink the zinfandel. Other stuff you see are condiments, salad dressing, salsa (is salsa a condiment?), applesauce, fruit, veggies, salad, assorted juices and water, butter (boo!) and soda (boo!). Pretty healthy for the most part. I’m glad Adam didn’t ask for a picture of the freezer. That’s where the thin mints, tater tots and ice cream live.
Adam
I admit it: My fridge usually isn’t this empty. I usually go grocery shopping on Sunday, but since last Sunday was some random Christian holiday, my grocery store was closed. So this week I’m just going to starve! Here’s what I have… Freezer door: frozen corn, peas, broccoli and Brussels sprouts. Freezer: frozen pitas and English muffins, 2 leftover frozen black bean burgers, and ice cube tray storage. Fridge door: ketchup, jelly, a few miscellaneous condiments, iced tea, seltzer water, almond “milk”, garlic, and a giant bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale that I got for my birthday (last July). Fridge: basket containing 3 apples, water, mozzarella-style vegan cheese, leftover pizza sauce, hummus, 2 whole wheat pitas, tofu, tempeh, and a bottle of diet root beer (hiding behind the water) that I can’t drink because I stopped drinking soda. Woohoo!
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
If only I had some bitch to wash my clothes for me!
In continuing with my theme of blog posts to gross out Michelle M. (please see this week’s offerings on nose picking and farting), today we will be talking about how often you wash your clothing. If you’re like me, laundry day is a real chore. I live in an apartment that offers no on-site laundry facilities. Luckily, my parents live pretty close by and are always willing to let me “borrow” their washer and dryer for a few hours. Hey I’m poor and I gotta save money where I can!
Laundry day is a huge process that usually requires me to roll out of bed at least 3 minutes earlier than normal. On days that I do laundry, I have to collect my dirty laundry from all over the house, stuff it into my laundry basket (which more often than not is still half-full of clean clothing from the previous wash), then load it all into the car, drive to one of my parent’s houses, lug it into their basement, steal laundry detergent & fabric softener sheets, press buttons, turn knobs, and then visit with them (a.k.a. play with my cell phone and ignore them) for a few hours. Ugh!
Clearly not my laundry. (Not enough plaid!)
My solution? Try to wash my clothing as infrequently as possible while continuing to be obsessively clean! Here are my rules:
Underpants must be washed daily (see yesterday’s post). I’m vegan, and my underpants can fill up with perfumy glitter pretty quickly — especially when Brussels sprouts are on sale at the grocery store. Same thing goes for socks … I never want to chance smelling like feet!
Pajamas are never worn. Why waste the space in the washer? And going commando at bedtime is just so freeing!
Sheets are washed once a week, especially during the summer. The idea of sleeping on dirty sheets grosses me out.
Towels are washed once every 3-4 days, and air-dried after each use in between. I do the same thing with kitchen towels (because they don’t take up much space in the washer and are better for the environment (and wallet) than paper towels).
Is this what I'm missing at the laundromat?
Shirts are washed on a sliding scale. I’m paranoid that someone at work will notice me wearing the same shirt as the day before — but (especially during the winter months) I’m always trying to come up with ways that I can stretch a shirt into 2 or 3 days of wear. Maybe a t-shirt from Sunday can double as an undershirt on Monday? Or one day’s t-shirt can be the next day’s gym shirt?
Sweatshirts, especially my favorite variety: the zipper hoodie are washed AS INFREQUENTLY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I never wear just a sweatshirt, so when I wear a one, it’s basically a jacket. Plus when you wash them, they get all pilly and uncomfortable and start to shrink and UGH! I only wash them when I absolutely have to (when they start to STINK). Sometimes I’d rather just buy a new one.
Pants I’m blessed (thank you, FSM!) to have a job without a dress code, so I wear jeans every day of the week. Although you can actually go for over a year without washing jeans, I tend to wear mine for about 4 days between washes. My mother thinks this is gross and washes hers after a single day of wear.
Laundry, like cooking and cleaning, is best done by women.
Everything Else gets the sniff test. Gym clothes are washed pretty often (for obvious reasons). I never wash my jackets or shoes (out of fear that they’ll fall apart). I try to wash blankets whenever I can, but they only find their way into a washer every few months if they’re lucky.
So how often do you wash your clothes? Am I gross or overly clean? Next time that you see me in person, will you cross the street or give me a big hug? Lemme know in the comments!
By the way, if anyone would like to buy any of my dirty clothes (for sniffing, burning, voodoo dolls, bizzare sexual fetishes, or any other reasons), please email me.
1. Harry. Harry made Thanksgiving dinner this year and did a fantastic job. On the menu: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, green beans, Brussels sprouts* and acorn squash. And not only did he do the shopping and cook, but he cleaned up as well!
2. Marcel the Shell with shoes on 2. The cute little shell is back to share his adventures and musings on life.
3. New foods. This week I tried two foods that I had never had before. Pretty impressive for the unadventurous eater. I’d heard horror stories about Brussels sprouts all my life, so I was a little worried. But I had nothing to fear, they were pretty good! The Nutella was for a snack I made with my 4 year old nephew (Acorns. We also made fall wreaths with leaves we picked up around the neighborhood). The Nutella was yummy. I’m not a fan of hazelnut, but the flavor wasn’t overpowering.
Cute and tasty.
Unfortunately, one of these foods gave me an all-over body rash. My money is on the Nutella. But it’s possible it was my new coconut lime breeze shower gel from Bath & Body Works.
4. Zombies. Harry got The Walking Dead compendium, so after he finished I stayed up a couple nights reading it. I won’t spoil anything but there are some major differences between it and the tv series. It will be interesting to see how the tv storyline unfolds.
5. Cooper. Just because he’s so damn cute. Here he is in his food dish. Stay tuned for Cooper’s blog – coming soon!
Runners up: mashed potatoes, naps, not going out on Black Friday and this:
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| Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Vagina. on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | goblinbox on Biggest C&R Loser 201… |
 | Order Now! Fool Me T… on Commenter Cocktails! |
 | Jones sabo and maybe… on What Animal Are You? |
 | MsElenath on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
My week.
Monday
Harry had hockey, so Cooper and I watched The Muppets. My favorite muppet is Floyd. He’s so cool and laid back – the opposite of me! Cooper’s favorite muppet was the little girl giving Walter the side-eye. Cooper is also a big Chris Cooper fan.
Did I have a soda, candy and popcorn while watching the movie? No. I had celery sticks, apple sauce and water.
Tuesday
I checked in on the roses. After finally getting rid of whatever was eating holes in the leaves, our five rose bushes came down with powdery mildew. And just when they were looking so healthy and lush and were starting to bloom. I had to cut them all back. Boo.
I did my ironing. I hate ironing. Here is a shirt that is supposed to be “no iron”. Grrrr.
Wednesday
Wednesday we got in the car and headed to Temecula‘s wine country (about an hour north of us). Last year Harry gave me a horseback ride and wine tasting lunch for my birthday. We finally got around to doing it. My horse’s name was Rusty and Harry’s was Quincy. It was super hot, and my horse kept fighting me to be in front of the guide, but it was fun!
After our ride we went to Wilson Creek Winery for our wine tasting. Woo hoo!
Then we had lunch. The restaurant was outdoors. They had misters which was lovely on such a hot day. The rolls had cheese on them (yuck), but the crackers were pretty good. I had a (steak) salad.
Thursday
Thursday was the last day of my painting class. Some of the students brought in snacks. One of them brought chocolate cupcakes. I took one because it would have been rude of me to refuse.
Here is the painting I’ve been working on. It’s Franz Marc‘s Red Horses. It’s a little off because the dimensions of my canvas are different from the original. And I still have a lot yet to do. I’m the queen of unfinished projects, but hopefully I’ll keep working on it.
Friday
After dinner at a Mexican restaurant with friends (I had 2 daiquiris, peach and strawberry), Harry and I decided to go to the local dive bar to drink some more. He had beer and some kind of cinnamon shot thing. I had 2 rum and cokes. They have a neat jukebox with bajillions of songs.
We killed zombies, played air hockey (Harry won) and pool (Harry won – maybe it’s because I played this way…).
Saturday
We went to our local farmer’s market. We got some fresh, organic California strawberries.
Then we took the car in to Pep Boys because the air conditioner broke. This would be their second go round trying to fix it (this isn’t our first experience having to bring the car back for a re-repair). After we got there they told us to bring it back another day (after just telling us on the phone to bring it in). After we get it fixed we shall never, ever return. Manny, Mo and Jack can suck it.
We decided to have lunch in Hillcrest. We went to Freebirds World Burrito. It’s kinda like Chipotle, but with more options. Check out my huge burrito:
We sat outside and guess what music was playing? “Black Betty”. I kid you not. Also, I totally didn’t have a brownie or cookie. Willpower!
On the way home we saw this bar. It reminded me of Adam.
Sunday
I didn’t do much. I can’t find my brand of shampoo anywhere anymore, so I used this brand for the first time. It smells like flowers and fruit salad.
I also read, played on the computer and watched tv. Then I worked on Cooper’s exciting post for Monday.
Check out Cooper’s Corner for a very important announcement: http://cooperscorner.info/
So how was your weekend? And who is your favorite muppet? Let me know in comments!
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