There’s nothing wrong with being a dumbass (Adam). I have been a dumbass on several occasions. Why, I have done most of the things listed below – and several more to boot. Thankfully, the Have You Ever?! quizzes are only 25 items long. But enough about me – let’s find out who else will be brave enough to embrace their inner derp and share their dumbass score.
You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever…1. Have you ever waited for the light to change at a stop sign?
2. Have you ever sent an email to the wrong person?
3. Have you ever forgotten someone’s name right after you were introduced to them?
4. Have you ever found out you were singing the wrong lyrics to a song?
5. Have you ever accidentally worn two different colored socks/shoes?
6. Have you ever locked yourself out of your home/car?
7. Have you ever forgotten to buy the one thing you went to the grocery store for?
8. Have you ever tripped over your own feet?
9. Have you ever rambled on and on on answering machine?
10. Have you ever typed “you’re” instead of “your” or “it’s” instead of “its” by mistake (even though you know the difference)?
11. Have you ever discovered your fly was open?
12. Have you ever discovered that you had food in your front teeth?
13. Have you ever forgotten why you walked into a room?
14. Have you ever left your tickets at home?
15. Have you ever clapped during a pause in a concert?
16. Have you ever thought something was broken, when really it wasn’t plugged in/turned on?
17. Have you ever forgotten your wallet/not had enough money to pay for your groceries?
18. Have you ever insisted you were right, only to find out later you were wrong?
19. Have you ever left your headlights on?
20. Have you ever set your alarm for pm instead of am?
21. Have you ever forgotten to go to an appointment?
22. Have you ever gotten up early/got ready for work/school on a day off?
23. Have you ever discovered you’ve been pronouncing a word incorrectly?
24. Have you ever forgotten that something was cooking in/on the stove?
25. Have you ever looked for glasses that were on top of your head?
Tell us you’re total in the comments!
It’s been a rough week for me so far. Sure it’s only Wednesday, but in addition to long hours at the office (including some incredibly long hours learning a super-boring new newspaper classified layout system), I’ve been driving to a friend’s house most nights to keep an eye on her cat (whose name is “The Whore”). And there’s still a lot of classified training and cat shit scooping ahead of me for the rest of the week. My friend is on her honeymoon at the Galapagos Islands for almost two weeks, and I’m driving way too many miles to clean a spiteful cat’s shit off of her living room carpet. Is it just me, or did I get the short end of the straw?
All this pet-sitting got me to wondering … what sorts of things do people do at their friend’s and family’s houses while sitting? Today’s Have You Ever quiz applies to pet sitting, plant sitting, house sitting, and any other kind of sitting that you can think of. But for the sake of my sanity, we’ll just call it all “house sitting.”
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever?!1. Have you ever house sat for a friend or family member?
2. Have you ever agreed to house sit and then forgotten to go to their house?
3. Have you ever house sat for a fee?
4. Have you ever regretted agreeing to house sit?
5. Have you ever forgotten to do one of your assigned tasks while house sitting?
6. Have you ever snacked on food that didn’t belong to you while house sitting?
7. Have you ever snooped around the house while house sitting?
8. Have you ever broken something important while house sitting?
9. Have you ever stolen something while house sitting?
10. Have you ever stained something while house sitting? (booze, bodily fluids, etc.)
11. Have you ever used a computer while house sitting for nefarious purposes? (downloading porn, performing on a webcam, etc.)
12. Have you ever tried on someone else’s clothes while house sitting?
13. Have you ever accidentally left the lights on, left the door unlocked, or left windows open while house sitting?
14. Have you ever experienced a household emergency while house sitting? (burst pipe, broken A/C, etc.)
15. Have you ever experienced an emergency with a pet while house sitting? (injury, illness, etc.)
16. Have you ever forgotten to feed or water a pet while house sitting?
17. Have you ever killed plants or garden while house sitting?
18. Have you ever killed a pet while house sitting?
19. Have you ever brought a friend along while house sitting?
20. Have you ever thrown a party while house sitting?
21. Have you ever had sex in the house while house sitting?
22. Have you ever had neighbors call the police on you while house sitting?
23. Have you ever discovered that the house was robbed while house sitting?
24. Have you ever been caught for and/or called out on any of these offenses after house sitting?
25. Have you ever ended a friendship based on something that happened while you were house sitting?
Have you ever done anything else while house sitting? Tell me all about it in the comments — and don’t forget to post your total points, too!
If you’re like me, you’re always stopping by the local grocery store to pick up a few things. I’m probably there at least twice a week. They’re wonderful places that tout a huge selection of fresh produce, meats (if you’re into that sort of thing), dairy (ditto), packaged foods, health and beauty aids, and just about anything else that you can imagine. But what have you been up to at the grocery store? We’re about to find out.
You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever?!1. Have you ever worked at a grocery store?
2. Have you ever used the restroom at a grocery store?
3. Have you ever tasted food (grapes, bakery items, etc.) and not paid for it?
4. Have you ever accidentally swapped carts with another shopper?
5. Have you ever hit someone with your cart?
6. Have you ever just left your cart in the parking lot instead of returning it to a cart return or to the front of the store?
7. Have you ever realized that you didn’t have enough money to pay for your groceries at the check-out counter and had to select some items to leave out of your purchase?
8. Have you ever used an express line or self-checkout line with more than the allowed number of items?
9. Have you ever returned any items to a grocery store for a refund?
10. Have you ever purchased a big-ticket item (electronics, lawn furniture, etc.) from a grocery store?
11. Have you ever stolen something from a grocery store?
12. Have you ever broken something that required an employee to clean it up?
13. Have you ever purposefully broken or damaged merchandise at a grocery store?
14. Have you ever knocked over a display at a grocery store?
15. Have you ever consumed a meal inside a grocery store (whether or not they had a prepared food and seating area)?
16. Have you ever avoided someone that you know at a grocery store so you didn’t have to talk to them?
17. Have you ever purchased discounted merchandise at a grocery store that is nearly spoiled or expired?
18. Have you ever abandoned merchandise where it doesn’t belong at a grocery store?
19. Have you ever hid an embarrassing item (condoms, hemorrhoid cream, etc.) under other items in your cart?
20. Have you ever gotten a rain check at a grocery store?
21. Have you ever knowingly tried to use expired coupons at a grocery store?
22. Have you ever been the cause of a checkout line slow-down (Price check, unusual coupon, unreadable bar code, etc.)?
23. Have you ever yelled at a grocery store employee?
24. Have you ever asked a grocery store employee or another customer out on a date?
25. Have you ever had (any form of) sex in a grocery store?
It’s time to fess up! Tell us your total in the comments.
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Have You Ever… With A Condom?!
The rules to Have You Ever?! are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever worn a condom?
7. Have you ever stretched a condom over your head?
15. Have you ever put a condom onto someone else?
21. Have you or a partner ever worn a flavored condom?
2. Have you ever purchased condoms?
3. Have you ever brought a friend with you while you bought condoms to make it less uncomfortable?
4. Have you ever bought condoms while with the person you intended on using them with?
5. Have you ever witnessed a condom being put onto a banana in school?
6. Have you ever used a female condom?
8. Have you ever inflated a condom like a balloon?
9. Have you ever used condoms as water balloons?
10. Have you ever thrown away condoms because they had expired?
11. Have you ever practiced putting on a condom by yourself so you were better at it when the opportunity arose later on?
12. Have you ever masturbated while wearing a condom?
13. Have you ever ejaculated into a condom?
14. Have you ever used a condom with a sex toy?
16. Have you ever performed fellatio on partner that was wearing a condom?
17. Have you ever engaged in sexual activities while wearing a condom?
18. Have you ever engaged in sexual activities while a partner was wearing a condom?
19. Have you or a partner ever worn a condom that was ribbed for his or her pleasure?
20. Have you or a partner ever worn a glow-in-the-dark condom?
22. Have you or a partner ever worn a Magnum (or other brand extra-large) condom?
23. Have you or a partner ever broken a condom while engaging in sexual activities?
24. Have you ever drank ejaculate out of a condom?
25. Have you ever saved a used condom?
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