Tag Archives: breast

Have You Ever… Played With Some Boobies?!

Have you noticed that there are pink ribbons just about everywhere these days?  That’s because October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  This month is dedicated to increasing awareness of the importance of early breast cancer detection.  In honor of breast cancer awareness, Cocky & Rude offers this respectful Have You Ever?! quiz about boobies.

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever done a breast exam (on yourself or another person)?
2. Have you ever had a mammogram?
3. Have you ever thought that boobs are gross?
4. Have you ever been caught staring at someone’s boobs?
5. Have you ever worn a bra?
6. Have you ever wished you had larger tits?
7. Have you ever wished you had smaller melons?
8. Have you ever had (or considered) breast implants?
9. Have you ever had (or considered) a breast reduction?
10. Have you ever been photographed topless?
11. Have you ever been rewarded for flashing your chest?
12. Have you ever complimented someone’s ta-tas or had your own breasts complimented?
13. Have you ever breast fed a baby?
14. Have you ever had your nipple pierced?
15. Have you ever worn nipple clamps?
16. Have you ever suffered from chafed nipples? (Ouch!)
17. Have you ever caressed a female breast?
18. Have you ever licked a nipple (male or female)?
19. Have you ever had your nipple(s) licked?
20. Have you ever bitten a boob or had your own boob bitten?
21. Have you ever been attracted to a man’s knockers?
22. Have you ever searched National Geographic magazine for photos of topless women?
23. Have you ever punched a woman in the tit?
24. Have you ever given or received a booby motorboating?
25. Have you ever titty-fucked a woman’s tits or had your own tits titty-fucked?

Tell us your total in the comments!

For more information on National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, go to http://www.nbcam.org/.

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The private room.

Last week at work, I was asked to update our office map.  It seems that our lawyers had contacted management and told them that we needed a ‘private room.’  Easy enough for me, it simply meant I had to change a vacant office’s name from “office” to “private room” and send a .pdf to human resources.

But what does one do in such a room?  The HR director explained to me that a “private room” is used as a private place where nursing mothers express breast milk.  Gross!  Suddenly visions of stained walls, sticky floors and refrigerators full of the yucky substance danced through my perverted mind.  And that office used to be so nice!

When I expressed my disgust, a coworker yelled at me: “It doesn’t squirt out like a water gun, you idiot.  They’re not like penises!”

As a man who has never lactated, or experienced a lactating woman, I turned towards my two favorite research tools, Wikipedia and YouTube.  I searched Wikipedia first, held back a serious burst of projectile vomit, and found out this:

The baby nursing from its own mother is the most ordinary way of obtaining breastmilk, but the milk can be pumped and then fed by baby bottle, cup and/or spoon, supplementation drip system, and nasogastric tube. Breastmilk can be supplied by a woman other than the baby’s mother; either via donated pumped milk (for example from a milk bank), or when a woman nurses a child other than her own at her breast – this is known as wetnursing.

A milk bank?  Those places exist?  Seriously?  That’s disgusting.  In my mind, it’s like a dairy farm where machines suckle away at those chestly lady mounds. Even more disgusting are the websites devoted to boob juice recipes.

And as I am a glutton for punishment, I searched YouTube before repainting the walls of my apartment with barf.  And you thought eat da poo poo was bad.  Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/v/fVdudXoSOqI&hl=en_US&fs=1&

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