Tag Archives: bite

It’s Taco Time!


Last night I attempted to eat ten Taco Bell tacos. Was it a taco fiesta or a taco fiasco?
Let’s find out.

First we went to Blockbuster, so I’d have something to watch while I was cramming those tacos down.

Probably not the best selection I could make…

Next we went to our neighborhood Taco Bell to pick up our dinner.

Once we got home, I changed into my eating pants (pajamas),

and got my hot sauces ready.

We caught a back episode of Jeopardy.


One of those answers should be “What is Wonder Woman?”. None of them were. Boo!

I got down to business.

Midway, I had to take a break. And then again after tacos 7, 8, 9 and 10.

The last taco almost did me in. The taco shell was soggy and I felt like I was chewing wet paper napkins. Each bite was torture. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t have room, but that I couldn’t stand the taste and texture anymore. God, it was horrible.

But failure wasn’t an option, so I persevered and forced that sucker down.

So now we know:
1) Harry should never doubt me again,
2) I will make myself ill to prove a point and,
3) I will never eat Taco Bell again.

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Have You Ever… Played With Some Boobies?!

Have you noticed that there are pink ribbons just about everywhere these days?  That’s because October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  This month is dedicated to increasing awareness of the importance of early breast cancer detection.  In honor of breast cancer awareness, Cocky & Rude offers this respectful Have You Ever?! quiz about boobies.

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever done a breast exam (on yourself or another person)?
2. Have you ever had a mammogram?
3. Have you ever thought that boobs are gross?
4. Have you ever been caught staring at someone’s boobs?
5. Have you ever worn a bra?
6. Have you ever wished you had larger tits?
7. Have you ever wished you had smaller melons?
8. Have you ever had (or considered) breast implants?
9. Have you ever had (or considered) a breast reduction?
10. Have you ever been photographed topless?
11. Have you ever been rewarded for flashing your chest?
12. Have you ever complimented someone’s ta-tas or had your own breasts complimented?
13. Have you ever breast fed a baby?
14. Have you ever had your nipple pierced?
15. Have you ever worn nipple clamps?
16. Have you ever suffered from chafed nipples? (Ouch!)
17. Have you ever caressed a female breast?
18. Have you ever licked a nipple (male or female)?
19. Have you ever had your nipple(s) licked?
20. Have you ever bitten a boob or had your own boob bitten?
21. Have you ever been attracted to a man’s knockers?
22. Have you ever searched National Geographic magazine for photos of topless women?
23. Have you ever punched a woman in the tit?
24. Have you ever given or received a booby motorboating?
25. Have you ever titty-fucked a woman’s tits or had your own tits titty-fucked?

Tell us your total in the comments!

For more information on National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, go to http://www.nbcam.org/.

10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are Gross!

In case you were not aware, I’m what scientists refer to as a “homosexual.”  In layman’s terms, that means that I’m a guy that is sexually attracted to other guys.  Females of the species need not apply.  And unlike many of my homosexual brothers, I have never tasted (nor stuck my aroused unit into) the mysterious pink wonderland that is known as a “vagina.”  Why not?  Simply put: vaginas are gross!  Here’s 10 reasons why:

1. They’re foreign!  What is that thing?  It looks like a mess of flappy skin with a hole in the middle.  Ew!

2. What’s in there?  Teeth?  I saw that movie … it was quite eye-opening.

3. They’re smelly!  I hear that they often smell of fish sticks and cabbage that has sat in the sun for a bit too long.

4. Yeast infections!  I’m not even sure what a yeast infection is … but ew!  Wash that thing out once and a while!

5. Periods!  Menstrual cycle?  Yuck!  Why is there blood dripping out of your vagina?
If it’s bleeding, then maybe you should just let it die!

6. Babies come out of them!  WTF!  How does a freak’n baby fit through that hole?  That’s disgusting!

7. The clitoris.  Straight guys can’t find it … I don’t even know what it is!
And upon research … is it just a tiny penis?

8. Queefs?  My dick never farts … why are there farts coming from your frontside?

9. How do they work?  Where does the penis go?  Where does the pee come out of?
Can Google Maps help me?  Please?

10. It’s not a penis!  ‘Nuff said!

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