A Limerick:
We all know her as Michelle M.
We think her to be quite the gem.
But I have been told
She’s getting quite old,
So it’s time to start calling her “ma’am.”
- Jere
Wishing you a mouth-watering birthday!
-David P.
-Tam
Happy Birthday to one of my favorite people ever, Cooper’s mom and Wonder Women fan….
Michelle M.!!!! I hope you have the most awesome Birthday ever because you deserve it!!
xoxo
– TJ and the doggies (Cooper’s Compadres)
Happy Birthday! From X-Heather and TwoPi
A Haiku About Michelle
The best in our books
Happy Birthday To Michelle
Hail Wonder Woman
- Kristen
Ode to Her Awesomeness
By Craig
What could one possibly say,
About the delectable Michelle M?
If she were a dessert,
She’d be la crème de la crème.
She lives in California,
All the way on the West Coast.
She’s the Cocky & Rude writer,
That us readers love the most.
She never met a head,
She couldn’t put on another body.
Don’t let her sweet looks fool you,
For her mouth is quite a potty.
With those flowing golden locks,
Like a superhero’s cape.
It begs that age old question,
Does the carpet match the drapes?
Her husband is a sexy beast,
Who likes pizza and canned beer.
There’s not a single gay around,
Who doesn’t wish that he was queer.
Wonder Woman is her idol,
And Cooper is her bird.
I don’t know who she loves most,
But Harry’s definitely in third.
So today is her birthday,
Hope she have lots of fun.
Happy Birthday Michelle M!
Congrats on turning twenty one!
Dear Michelle,
I heard it was your birthday so I wanted to send you a short note. I hope you have a wonderful day and that you don’t divorce your husband so you can marry a politician and then your ex marries a skinny little waif and then you can’t stop eating because you hate your life and you are fighting with your kids and your mother-in-law thinks you are useless and then you become the fattest woman in Westchester and then you can’t wear any of your clothes and then you feel so worried that you will eat up all your kids and then you will worry that Gene might be too small and gamey to be palatable and then your daughter hates you because you want to go skiing and she goes to her dad’s and get’s her period and then she comes back to you and whines and you are thinking “hurry up and have a baby so I can eat it.” Can I eat your cake?
Love, Fat Betty
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
From Mikey & Ty
Happy birthday to the most creative, talented, elfin proportioned person I know!
Happy Birthday Michelle!
Have a great day and best wishes for the coming year! -John
Ok, I know that Harry and Craiggers are gonna get real jealous here, but I got only one question for Michelle M.:
I Wonder Woman, are you my kinda woman?
Wit a back like that you fly like jets
Are you my Wonder Woman?
te quiero,
mr. sombrero
Happy Birthday Michelle M.!!! I decided to celebrate your birthday by mixing
my two favorite things: you, and my favorite albums!!! -Enrico
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Things That CREEP Me Out
Here are ten things that CREEP me the hell out:
Old timey dolls. What were people thinking in the olden days? Were they trying to scare their children to death? Who would want to wake up to see those evil little faces staring at you? The one above wants to swallow my soul.
Speaking of scaring children to death, jack in the boxes are another way to do it.
The anticipation of that thing popping out is enough to give me a heart attack.
Mayonnaise. SO GROSS! Barf!
Eyeballs. Specifically, touching or operating on them. The Lasik scene from Final Destination 5 almost did me in.
Bar soap*. Especially that slimy gunk between the bar of soap and the soap dish. Gag!
*More on this on a future post.
Mummies. I DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT! EVER! Put that thing back where you found it! (Plus, they carry curses).
Mold, eeeeeeeeeeeew!
Long toenails. Revolting! Clip that shiz before I lose my lunch!
(Also gross: long fingernails on men and those Lamisil toe fungus commercials).
Candle wax on birthday cake. And it gets on the best part – the frosting! I always worry that someone is going to blow too hard on the candles and spray that damn wax everywhere. If I’m in charge of candles, I put them all in one corner so the rest of the cake doesn’t get wax cooties.
Roaches. make. my. skin. Crawl.
So there you have it – ten things that I find utterly disgusting. Runners up were: hairy drain clogs,
hoarders, John Malkovich, porta potties and rotting, never brushed teeth.
What creeps you out? Let me know in comments!
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