Every day when I was young (and wasn’t at school) we’d eat lunch at 11am.
We’d watch The Price Is Right.
It was glorious! But then at 12:30, my mother would force my brother and I to go outside and play!
We’d bitch and complain. Sometimes we’d cry. Being outside was awful! There were no television outside!
No video games! But my mother would ignore us. Cuz it was time for “her show” (Days of our Lives).
Once we were resigned to the fact that we’d be stuck outside until 2:00,
we would do a variety of things to pass the time.
Sometimes we’d hang out in my tree house. Please note that my tree house was way crappier than this one.
Sometimes we’d play in the stream behind our house.
Sometimes we’d ride big wheels down hill in our backyard and try to avoid all the trees.
Sometimes we’d build forts in the woods.
Sometime we’d beat each other with sticks until one of us cried,
and then spend the rest of the time begging the crier not to tattle.
Sometimes we’d shoot arrows straight up into the air and run away
as fast as we could before it fell back to Earth and stabbed one of us to death.
But most of the time, we’d just get filthy and wet. Then at 2:00, my mom would yell at us and make us
take baths before we resumed our indoor afternoon of television and video games.
Awww those were the good old days. Then I got old and everything went to shit.
Tell me one of your childhood memories in the comments!
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND TWO! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters. We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
Each week of Round Two, we’ll drop three Round One winners into the ring and see who remains standing after a 24-hour Cocky & Rude Fight Club vote. Today’s contestants are: Tam, “The Kid” and John.
While I may be the senior member of this trifecta, I believe I have some abilities that the others do not. On the one hand, I control the life of said most junior member. Party on Saturday? HAHAHAHA, yeah right. How about cream cheese and tomato sandwiches in your lunch every day for the next term? I have skillz. I may be old, but I’m wiley, I’ve got experience on my side and taking out a rabbit and a teenager easily distracted by cute boys and wedding dresses will be a snap. I have the appropriate Tumblr blogs bookmarked and carrots ready for step one in my plan: distraction. They are going down. -Tam
Do you actually think you’ll win against me? I’m Jack’s smirking revenge. I’m Jack’s cold sweat. Hell, I’m even Jack’s raging bile duct. I’m the all-singing, all dancing crap of this world, but I’m done with this, these are my words now. I’ll pull the rabbit out of the hat and send my mother back home. I spend my nights in a cage and my days at the underground. I’m made of steel and have youth on my side, ’cause I be eating a Triple Big Mac with an extra large fry. Ain’t no body more beast then I, are you even going try and call that a lie? Give me a chance to unleash my world of fury because when you leave the match your vision is gonna be blurry! -”The Kid”
I sense some dissention in the ranks and I am going to exploit that by pitting mom against daughter. Forget the fact that I am taller than both combatants, combined. I am going to first side with the Kid. She can wear that top, she can stay out after midnight, no, she can’t talk to Adam, it will scar her for life. Once Tam is out of the way, I will pick off the Kid! – John
Who will win in the battle of Tam vs. “The Kid” vs. John? There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to Michelle M., Tam, Kristin & John for your assistance with this post!
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND TWO! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters. We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
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