Cocky&Rude

My alarm is always set for 7:00am in the morning.  Most days of the week I don’t have to be to work until 9:00am (and I only live 15 minutes away), so this affords me a little of an hour to wake up and lounge around the house before I have to get ready.  And then there’s days that I wake up at 7:00am, realize that I’m still exhausted, and fall back asleep.  This happened to me once last week, and I ended up sleeping until 8:45am!  I awoke in a panic — should I take a shower and be late to work, or should I just throw some clothes on and run out the door?  I opted for the latter — and prayed to the FSM that no one would smell my stink or notice that I was unclean for the day.

I’m never one to skip a shower — It’s actually not uncommon for me to shower more than once a day.  The thought of smelling badly is repulsive to me (not to mention the nose that might smell me).  But I lasted that entire day last week … and it was actually pretty great.  I might actually do it again some day soon!  Think I’m crazy?  Here’s 10 reasons why you should skip a shower too:

1. You Have a Secret
It’s fun to have a secret that no one else knows. Even if you’re a big gossip (like me!), you will probably want to keep your filthy body a secret.  And it’s actually fun to not be a blabbermouth every once and a while2. Conserve Water, Save the World
Why not conserve some water and save the environment?  Every little thing helps … and conserving as many as 30 gallons of shower water might make this planet a little bit healthier.

3. It’ll Makes the Next One Better
You’ve probably spent the day longing for some a bar of soap and some warm water dribbling down your naked flesh.  Think of how great it’ll be when your finally take that shower!

4. You Can Save Some Cash
Even if you don’t have to pay a water bill, think of all the money that you’ll save on body wash, shampoo, conditioner, bar soap, shower cleaner, etc. just by skipping a single shower.

5. Your Hair Will Look Great
Skipping a shower means that your hair will hold on to a day’s worth of oils and hair grease.  Who needs hair gel when you can style your ‘do with your own scalp sludge!

6. It’s Good For Your Skin
That body goo isn’t only good for your hair — it’s also good for your skin.  Your body secretes all sorts of slimy oils that naturally moisturize and protect your skin.

7. You Can Scare People Away With Your Stink
Let’s face it — you might end up a bit smelly when you skip that shower.  Don’t hide it with extra deodorant and cologne, embrace it!  When that coworker or family member that you don’t like comes close, just make sure they get a waft of your repulsive body odor.  You won’t have to make up an excuse to get them moving away from you quickly.

8. You’ve Just had Sex with James Franco
Another great reason to skip a washing session — sometimes it’s kind of hot to smell the stink of sex on yourself.  And if I did the dirty dance with James Franco … I don’t think I’d ever shower again.

9. You Might Find a Snack in Your Beard
If you’re embracing an unclean existence, you probably don’t bother shaving either.  In which case, there’s always a chance you’ll find a tasty morsel of a previous meal.  And remember, the three-second rule only applies to food that has touched the floor.  Your beard snacks do not fall under the same jurisdiction.

10. You Can Celebrate the Lazy
After all, it’s good to be lazy sometimes.  It reduces stress, gives you a chance to rest, and feels great.  Showering isn’t really necessary every day … so just take some more time to Celebrate the Lazy.