Each of the letters is the first letter of a band’s name (ignoring articles). Each of the letters comes from the album art. There was one exception, where the band does not have its name on its EP. In that case, it is taken from a promotional picture. Can you guess the bands?
Thanks Ryan!
You won a candy bar!
Michelle M. submitted a photo of this award-winningly ugly purse.
Thanks to everyone who submitted a photo: John (art), Polt (chair), Mikey (flower),
Mr. Sombrero (light bulb), Me (puppy), Michelle M. (purse) and Craig (t-shirt).
Last month I announced that one lucky C&R reader would win 100 GRAND*! That’s right —
100 GRAND*! Woohoo! To win, all you had to do was submit a photo of the
ugliest thing that you own. Behold, the submissions (click to enlarge):
Art: A small art print that freaks the hell out of anyone that sees it as evidenced
by the continuous inquiries of “What the hell is that?”
Chair: This chair with green and gold eagles on white upholstery is
perfect example of mid ’70s interior decor!
Flower: This is a Calla lily that I bought for Thanksgiving.
Clearly you can tell that it is no longer in peak condition.
Light bulb: Neon-orange creepy-looking incandescent light bulb that screams
mid ’90s German-techno-punk-just-rolled-off-of-Bjork-music-video-set-sex-toy.
Puppy: 21″ tall ceramic white poodle with a plastic jewel encrusted collar.
It sits next to my front door, which it guards with its fluffy ferocity.
Purse: I was in the local drug store when the purse caught my eye.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was hideous. I had to buy it.
T-Shirt: That is a whoooole lot of ugly. Except Kari.
Now it’s up to you to decide who wins. The poll will remain open until Friday around noon. One vote per IP address. Winner will be announced Sunday, prize will be mailed within 3 months of announcement. Good luck / Thank you / Congratulations / Whatevah!
*100 Grand refers to a single, standard size 100 Grand candy bar.
It’s been quite a while since I last graced you with one of my beautiful puddles of urine. Lately I’ve been curling up under blankets, scratching Adam, and eating a bit more kibble than usual. I’m trying to fatten myself up for the winter. But when I’m not busy with all of that crap, I’m still creating magnificent works of art in my little box. Here’s one of my recent masterpieces … tell me what you think it looks like in the comments. If you don’t, I’ll come to your house and tear your furniture to bits. Actually, I might do that anyway.
‘Sup, losers? It’s me, Spring. I’ve been furious since Jere dissed my important semi-regular contribution to Cocky & Rude. What does Jer-Bear have against my Piss Puddle Game? Adam snapped this photo of my piss puddle last week, and I couldn’t wait to show you. It’s a freak’n work of art! Here’s one of my latest masterpieces. Tell me what you think it looks like in the comments. If you don’t comment, I’ll hunt you down and cut your face (once I’m done with Jere).
“Fear (of vaginas) always springs from ignorance.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Misunderstanding … arising from ignorance breeds fear, and fear remains the greatest enemy of peace (and vaginas). – Lester B. Pearson
Recently our very own Adam shared with us a mean, offensive and misguided post about everyone’s friend – the vagina. His obvious distaste and ignorance is distasteful and ignorant! Vaginas aren’t scary – I’m rather attached to mine. Why, the vagina is a miraculous body part which has been celebrated in fashion:
cinema:
the theater:
pop culture:
cuisine:
and art:
Without vaginas, none of us would even be here! Plus, they’re warm and
cozy and perfect to laze around in on a chilly day:
Also, the vagina is a hero! Not a zero.
So, while Adam is free (and encouraged!) to abstain from the ladyflower, I do hope that he will one day overcome his phobia. Or at least stop spewing intolerance and misinformation – such as the following:
1. They’re foreign! What is that thing? It looks like a mess of flappy skin with a hole in the middle. Ew!
They’re not foreign at all. Mine is a U.S. citizen who can vote, run up debt, make fun of Canada, become obese and start wars in the middle east. And Adam, you have a floppy thing with a hole in the middle, too. By the way, did you take biology? You’ve got a lot more than the vagina in your diagram.
2. What’s in there? Teeth? I saw that movie … it was quite eye-opening.
That’s just a myth. Like lightning never striking twice, gum hanging around in your stomach for seven years, Sasquatch or the Puntabuschlong (sorry Polt).
3. They’re smelly! I hear that they often smell of fish sticks and cabbage that has sat in the sun for a bit too long.
Uh, maybe if you never bathe. Mine smells like honeysuckle, cinnamon and baby unicorns.
4. Yeast infections! I’m not even sure what a yeast infection is … but ew! Wash that thing out once and a while!
Men get yeast infections too. I’ve never had one. But then, I don’t bake bread in my vagina.
5. Periods! Menstrual cycle? Yuck! Why is there blood dripping out of your vagina? If it’s bleeding, then maybe you should just let it die!
Oh, but periods are so much fun. Cramps, bloating, mood swings, fatigue…maybe you’re just jealous. Too bad they only last 38 years on average (more or less).
6. Babies come out of them! WTF! How does a freak’n baby fit through that hole? That’s disgusting!
It’s the circle of life Adam! Actually I’m surprised you don’t think babies come from storks or cabbage patches. And disgusting? Perhaps (and don’t forget painful).
7. The clitoris. Straight guys can’t find it … I don’t even know what it is! And upon research … is it just a tiny penis?
For some straight guys this is very true. And very sad. Tragic even.
8. Queefs? My dick never farts … why are there farts coming from your frontside?
Ask Oprah. She seems pretty excited about hers.
9. How do they work? Where does the penis go? Where does the pee come out of? Can Google Maps help me? Please?
Google Maps is not going to help. Try Wikipedia.
10. It’s not a penis! ‘Nuff said!
Can’t argue with that. But, like it or not, the vagina is here to stay. So perhaps we should stop looking at the vagina as an object of horror and instead, embrace this misunderstood bit of anatomy with open arms.
And who knows. Maybe someday Adam will learn to love pussy…
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One week in the life of Michelle M.
I was at a loss about what to post, so here’s a rundown of my exciting, fun-filled week.
Monday – It rained. I went grocery shopping, did laundry, ironed and watched The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Tuesday – The digital arts class I wanted to take was closed, so I signed up for painting. Class started today. This is the building it’s in. We didn’t do any painting, just got our materials list. I was relieved I wasn’t the oldest one there.
Wednesday – I drove all over town looking for the supplies on my materials list. After going to four stores I finally had them all.
Thursday – Our car broke down. To the tune of $3,000. This is the rental car we’re using. In class we painted a still life of ugly bottles. We were only allowed to use burnt umber, so I ended up with an ugly brown painting of ugly bottles.
That night we went out for dinner. I had a glass of Chardonnay. The menu described it as having notes of pear, lime zest, butterscotch, honey and vanilla – none of which I could taste (wine always tastes like wine to me). Harry had a beer.
Friday – I gave blood. I wanted to have Nutter Butters, but I’m doing the non- gluten thing and had a Rice Krispie treat instead. Afterwards, we went to Wendy’s because I was craving chicken nuggets. I blame Mikey.
Saturday – I got my hair did. At least one day a month my hair does not look like a big frizzy mess. We went to Islands for dinner where I had a lovely (and potent) Mai Tai. Harry had a beer.
Sunday – We went to Las Olas for dinner (Harry had 2 beers). This is the view across the street. I love California.
Then we went to the used record store and Pizza Port for a drink. I had a hard apple cider. Harry had 2 additional beers. We rounded out the night by going to the pet store and buying a new toy for Cooper. Then I kept Adam awake ’til all hours finishing up this post.
How was your week? Was it as amazing as mine? Let me know in comments!
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